I'm the biggest slob in the world. My apartment is a mess.
quote by Monica Keena
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
I Dare Not Ask
My life right now is a mess
That I am too disgusted
To straighten up...
The past is ghastly
The present is muddled
And the future's bleak...
What kind of slob
Would allow this to happen?
I dare not ask...
poem by Romeo Della Valle
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Slob
Leave me alone
I won't pick up the phone
And I won't listen to messages
Sent by someone who calls up and says:
'I don't like how you're living my life
Get yourself a wife
Get yourself a job
You're living a dream
Don't you be a slob
Slob
song performed by by Weezer from Maladroit
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bob
I had a friend that took a blet, took a blet and hung himself
Hung himself in the doorway of the apartment where he lived
His woman and his little bro came home from the grocery store
Only to find him dangling in the apartment where he lived
I had a friend who shaved his head
Put his doctor martins on
And drew such wondrous pictures in the apartment where he lived
He praised my creativity, though he spoke sarcastically
Oh, the conversations in the apartment where he lived
I had a friend that took a blet, took a belt and hung himself
Hung himself in the doorway of the apartment where he lived
Rock, she thought him spiteful; ler, he thought him pitiful
Me, Ive never been back to the apartment where he lived
song performed by by Primus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Great Slob
I was always a natural slob
I liked to lay upon the bed
in undershirt (stained, of
course) (and with cigarette
holes)
shoes off
beerbottle in hand
trying to shake off a
difficult night, say with a
woman still around
walking the floor
complaining about this and
that,
and I'd work up a
belch and say, "HEY, YOU DON'T
LIKE IT? THEN GET YOUR ASS
OUT OF HERE!"
I really loved myself, I
really loved my slob-
self, and
they seemed to also:
always leaving
but almost
always
coming
back.
poem by Charles Bukowski
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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TRASH DAY
Parody of "Hot In Herre" by Nelly
Rotten
So rotten here
So rotten
Oh
It was like, the last day before trash day
My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay
Even though the garbage I knew would reek
(You know) Thought that I could leave it for one more week
Then, um, I'm takin'
Birthday cake 'n'
(Oh) Chili and greasy old bacon
Throw it all on top of the mess I been makin'
Wife's so mad, she starts to shakin'
Leaky bag, 'n' now that girl is gaggin'
She's naggin'
"I need you to get that stuff off the kitchen floor"
"Is that too much to ask you for?"
But I see no reason why
Can't let a few more weeks go by
And now garbage is piled up high
And buddy, you should see the flies
I said...
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Boy there's a lot in here (a lot)
And every day it grows
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
Look at all this garbage that I keep generatin'
(Come on) I sit around all day and watch it biodegradin'
Bet there's a hundred health codes that I'm violatin'
Even my dog passed out and needed resuscitatin'
You won't believe it, take a whiff of that aroma
Sure to put you in a coma
It's so messy, can't find my toenail clippers
It's so bad, the roaches wearin' slippers
Warm, sweaty clothes piled up in this joint
Stand up by themselves at this point
It's so filthy, now baby, I can't lie
I wipe my feet before I go outside
I wonder what crawled in here and died
(You know) Walkin' 'round barefoot, I'd be terrified
But it gives me stuff to talk about with my friends
Like "Hey, I think them rats gettin' big!"
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Look what we got in here (now what?)
Let's watch it decompose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit of a... and a little bit of a...
Make me wanna throw up
It makes ya wanna... just makes ya wanna...
Oh
Some Lysol, some Comet
I got a mop and it's got your name on it
(What?) I'm just kiddin', doggone it
(Oh) Unless you gonna do it
Careful not to breathe the fumes
Check it, garbage piles are goin' all the way to the bathroom
Turn into toxic waste sometime this afternoon
Better get a Hazmat suit and a push broom
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
It's gone to pot in here (to pot)
Bring out the firehose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit a... and a little bit a...
Make me wanna throw up
Give a little bit a... and a tiny bit a...
Make ya wanna throw up
Mix a little bit a... with a molecule a...
Make me wanna throw up
It makes me wanna... just makes me wanna...
Oh
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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U Mess Up The Summer
u mess up the summer year around
u mess up the summer u made me frown
u mess up the summer with your rules
comeing in at 8: 00 is not cool
u mess up the summer with your games
u mess up the summer it is now plain
u mess up the summer cause you are my morther
but i am gald that we still got each other
i love you mother
L& H
poem by Moriah Puriefoy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Don't Mess With My Love
I thought you were a friend of mine but I was wrong
You tried to fit into the arms where I belong
You moved right in behind my back
Everyone knows friends don't do that
I thought you were somebody I could trust
You always said you were happy for us
How could you go and break my heart?
When you knew all along he was mine from the start
He is everything to me
And you know we're meant to be
He's my baby
Don't mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He's my baby
Don't mess with my
Mess with my love
Don't mess with my love
You came right over and looked in my eyes
You said the stories were rumors and lies
And I wish I could believe in you
But I'm sorry to say he told me the truth
He is everything to me
And you know we're meant to be
He's my baby
Don't mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He's my baby
Don't mess with my
Mess with my love
Don't mess with my love
[BRIDGE]
Friends don't do what you do
There's no excuse
I'm so confused
I thought you cared about me
But now I see
All you care about is you
He is everything to me
And you know we're meant to be
He's my baby
Don't mess with my love
Take everything I own
Ooh just leave that boy alone
He's my baby
Don't mess with my
Mess with my love
Don't mess with my love
song performed by by M2M from Shades Of Purple
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Biggest One
The water running down that pipe
Looks like a snake to me
By docs sugar bowl my coffee gets cold
Because I dont want to see that
Ive got no one to blame but my fat self
Ive got no one to blame but my fat self
Im the biggest one
Im the biggest one
Ive got no one to blame but my fat self
Should have changed that stupid lock
Should have thrown away the key
No, no, not i, I will survive
Right down here on my knees cause
Ive got no one to blame but my fat self
Ive got no one to blame but my fat self
Im the biggest one
Im the biggest one
Ive got no one to blame but my fat self
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gravy On You
Well, I think youre obnoxious
And I think that you stink
I think youre a moron
A slob, and a fink
Youre one of the biggest turkeys I know
And that is the reason Im going to
Throw gravy on you
And throw gravy on you
And throw gravy, gravy on you-ou-ou-ou-ou
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ultimately, I'm a mess. I don't mean I'm a mess, like, emotionally - I mean, I think probably everybody's a mess. David's a mess. But. I'm talking about... I'm messy.
quote by Michael C. Hall
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your Biggest Mistake
What do you think inside your head
I want to know
Do you think this
Could end up breaking you
You life is a time bomb
Set to explode
You talk out your ass
And everyone knows
For once you should listen
Or care what i think
Or I'll be gone before you can blink
Everyones told you
Over and over again
You're making the biggest mistake of your life
Everyones told you
Everyone you left behind
You're making the biggest mistake of you life
Everyone knows that
Your afraid of missing out
And I know that its hard for you
To swallow down
The while world you've vreated
Is set to explode
You lie throught you teeth
And everyone knows
For once you should listen
Or care what I think
Or you'll stay stuck in the web your trapped in
Everyones told you
Over and over again
You're making the biggest mistake of your life
Everyoes told you
Everyone you left behind
You're making the biggest mistake of your life
Its a chance
You should take
And I know that its not
An easy one to make
You should trust the ones
That are closest to you
Everyones told you
Over and over again
You're making the biggest mistake of your life
Everyone told you
Everyone you left behind
You're making the biggest mistake of your life
(Your life)
The biggest mistake of your life
song performed by by New Found Glory
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Someone skipped on the rent and they left behind a huge upright piano, which got moved into our apartment so the other apartment could get rented out. I took to it and started playing.
quote by Cy Coleman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dont Mess Up This Good Thing
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing
Well, I think youve had a long time
To get your act together
Its your move and I hope you do the right thing
You know I never wanna lose you
But you must learn to play the game by the rules
Show me how much my love means to you
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing (what we have together)
Dont mess up, no baby
Well, forever may be
More time than anyone can offer
But all my time is spent in your corner
Heaven knows how much I love you
But if you think I can watch you play on me and understand it
Baby, youre taking far too much for granted
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing (what we have together)
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing (if you still believe)
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up, baby (no one can love you better)
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing
Got to find the right words to make you see
That you and I were meant to be
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess it up
Dont mess up this good thing
Well, forever may be
More time than anyone can offer
But all my time is spent in your corner
Heaven knows how much I love you
But if you think I can watch you play on me and understand it
Baby, youre taking far too much for granted
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing (what we have together)
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing (if you still believe)
Dont mess up this good thing (ooh dont mess it up baby)
Dont mess up this good thing (no one can love you better)
Dont mess up this good thing (sho dont mess it up)
Dont mess up this good thing (Ive got what you need)
Dont mess up this good thing
Dont mess up this good thing (what weve got together)
Dont mess up this good thing
song performed by by Janet Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I believe our biggest issue is the same biggest issue that the whole world is facing, and that's habitat destruction.
quote by Steve Irwin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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This Poem Is A Mess
This poem is a mess
It claimed shads of paper
Drained in pensil and ink
Finished and unfinished
This poem is a mess
This poem is a mess
It victimised toilet paper
Short and long, of all colours
Scribbled, drafted and erased
Pinned on the wall, anywhichway
This poem is a mess
This poem is a mess
It messed up everywhere
Lying on the floor, sholved
In the pockets, every corner
With incomprehensible words,
Misspelt, miswritten, strange
This poem is a mess.
Sunday,12/04/2009,
Huyton, Liverpool, UK
poem by Isaac Maliya
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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All this happens without him knowing - they actually install cameras in his apartment and hire this girl to get him to fall in love with her so that she can be in the apartment and present him products without him knowing.
quote by Caroline Dhavernas
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The World's Address
I know you deceived me, couldn't sleep last night
Now my tear stains on the wall reflect an ugly sight
I can see your secrets
No need to confess
Everyone looks naked when you know the world's address
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
Life's parade of fashion just leaves me depressed
Under every garment i can see the world's address
Call the men of science and let them hear this song
Tell them albert einstein and copernicus were wrong
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
Call the men of science and let them hear this song
Tell them albert einstein and copernicus were wrong
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll say it one more time for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If religion had a good purpose, then man would have created something great. But we're man: we mess up everything. We mess up nature. We mess up God. We take what is given to us and make it into what we think it should be.
quote by Ziggy Marley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Biggest Lie
I'm waiting for the train
The subway that only goes one way
The stupid thing that'll come to pull us apart
and make everybody late
You spent everything you had
wanted everything to stop that bad
Now I'm a crash credit card registered to Smith
not the name that you call me with
You turned white like a saint
but I'm tired of dancing on a pot of gold flake paint
oh we're so very precious, you and I
and everything you do, maked me want to die
oh, I just told the biggest lie
I just told the biggest lie
the biggest lie
song performed by by Elliott Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Biggest Lie
Im waiting for the train
The subway that only goes one way
The stupid thing that will come to pull us apart
And make everybody late
You spent everything you had
Wanted everything to stop that bad
And now Im a crushed credit card registered to smith
Not the name that you call me with
You turned white like a saint
Im tired of dancing on a pot of gold flake paint
Oh were so very precious, you and i
And everything that you do makes me want to die
Oh I just told the biggest lie
I just told the biggest lie
The biggest lie
song performed by by Elliott Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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