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Slob

Leave me alone
I won't pick up the phone
And I won't listen to messages
Sent by someone who calls up and says:
'I don't like how you're living my life
Get yourself a wife
Get yourself a job
You're living a dream
Don't you be a slob
Slob

song performed by by Weezer from Maladroit
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm living with two guys. I'm living with a slob and a guy who sleeps all day.

quote by Devon Sawa
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Great Slob

I was always a natural slob
I liked to lay upon the bed
in undershirt (stained, of
course) (and with cigarette
holes)
shoes off
beerbottle in hand
trying to shake off a
difficult night, say with a
woman still around
walking the floor
complaining about this and
that,
and I'd work up a
belch and say, "HEY, YOU DON'T
LIKE IT? THEN GET YOUR ASS
OUT OF HERE!"

I really loved myself, I
really loved my slob-
self, and
they seemed to also:
always leaving
but almost
always
coming
back.

poem by Charles Bukowski
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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TRASH DAY

Parody of "Hot In Herre" by Nelly
Rotten
So rotten here
So rotten
Oh
It was like, the last day before trash day
My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay
Even though the garbage I knew would reek
(You know) Thought that I could leave it for one more week
Then, um, I'm takin'
Birthday cake 'n'
(Oh) Chili and greasy old bacon
Throw it all on top of the mess I been makin'
Wife's so mad, she starts to shakin'
Leaky bag, 'n' now that girl is gaggin'
She's naggin'
"I need you to get that stuff off the kitchen floor"
"Is that too much to ask you for?"
But I see no reason why
Can't let a few more weeks go by
And now garbage is piled up high
And buddy, you should see the flies
I said...
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Boy there's a lot in here (a lot)
And every day it grows
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
Look at all this garbage that I keep generatin'
(Come on) I sit around all day and watch it biodegradin'
Bet there's a hundred health codes that I'm violatin'
Even my dog passed out and needed resuscitatin'
You won't believe it, take a whiff of that aroma
Sure to put you in a coma
It's so messy, can't find my toenail clippers
It's so bad, the roaches wearin' slippers
Warm, sweaty clothes piled up in this joint
Stand up by themselves at this point
It's so filthy, now baby, I can't lie
I wipe my feet before I go outside
I wonder what crawled in here and died
(You know) Walkin' 'round barefoot, I'd be terrified
But it gives me stuff to talk about with my friends
Like "Hey, I think them rats gettin' big!"
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Look what we got in here (now what?)
Let's watch it decompose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit of a... and a little bit of a...
Make me wanna throw up
It makes ya wanna... just makes ya wanna...
Oh
Some Lysol, some Comet
I got a mop and it's got your name on it
(What?) I'm just kiddin', doggone it
(Oh) Unless you gonna do it
Careful not to breathe the fumes
Check it, garbage piles are goin' all the way to the bathroom
Turn into toxic waste sometime this afternoon
Better get a Hazmat suit and a push broom
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
It's gone to pot in here (to pot)
Bring out the firehose
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit a... and a little bit a...
Make me wanna throw up
Give a little bit a... and a tiny bit a...
Make ya wanna throw up
Mix a little bit a... with a molecule a...
Make me wanna throw up
It makes me wanna... just makes me wanna...
Oh

song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Living In Oz

Ever since I was a kid
I remember having dreams of grandeur
I was gonna be someone, I know what I want
Everybody played second best
And I held you back just like all the rest
I think I got what I want
Everybodys got to fight their demons
And you know I had to fight mine, too
It took a lot out of me, it took a lot out of you
To be living in oz, living in oz
Sometimes the dream can wake you
Living in oz, living in oz
Sometimes the dream can shock you, too
All the money that I spend on you
Doesnt mean a thing if the loves not true
Baby please, Ill get what you want
Cant you tell me you and me aint lost
I know what I did, I know what it cost
Now Im yours and Ive got what you want
All the fightin will have been for nothin
If at the end I cant have you
Ill throw it all away if thats what you want me to do
Living in oz, living in oz
Sometimes the dream can wake you
Living in oz, living in oz
Sometimes the dream can shake you, too
Funny how desire can burn you up inside
And make you commit emotional suicide
Everybodys got the desire to leave their mark
Some just do it over a trail of broken hearts
And all the people that protect and serve
Would disappear if the well dried up
Im thirsty for affection
Let me drink from your loving cup
Living in oz, living in oz
Sometimes the dream can shock you
Living in oz, living in oz
Sometimes the dream can rock you
Living in oz, living in oz
Sometimes the dream can shake you
Living in oz, living in oz
Sometimes the dream can wake you, too

song performed by by Rick Springfield
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bad Dream

Im living in a bad dream.
Theyre supposed to be here by now.
What the hell is taking them so long?
I parked the car just like they said.
Now, Im sitting, waiting for a bullet in my head.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream gone bad.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream
Im living in a bad dream thats sad.
Im supposed to be feeling better by now.
What the hell is taking me so long?
I hit the hay just like they said.
Now, Im sitting, waiting for a bell in my head.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream gone bad.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream
Im living in a bad dream thats sad.
On a curve, lost control.
On a cliff, lost control.
This is not happening to me.
I say so.
Im supposed to be a better person by now.
What the hell is taking me so long?
Dying saviors off sum cross.
Now, Im hoping and Im praying that theyll nullify my losses.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream gone bad.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream
Im living in a bad dream thats sad.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream gone bad.
Im living in a bad dream.
Im living in a bad dream
Im living in a bad dream thats sad.
Im living in a bad dream.
Gordon gano: vocals, guitar
Brian ritchie: acoustic bass guitar, vocals, autoharp
Guy hoffman: drums, vocals
David vartanian: electric piano
Produced by brian ritchie and gordon gano
Recorded and mixed by david vartanian at dvs perversion room, milwaukee, wi
gorno music reprinted with permission

song performed by by Violent Femmes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No More Lies

Everything
Everything reminds me
Easily
You walking out so easily
No goodbyes
Not even a tear for me
Now you cry
Youd like to have my company
But Im not gonna call you again
Im not gonna pick up the phone
No Im not going through it again
Youre not gonna leave me alone
No more lies
I dont need this anymore
Ive heard it all
Now Im gonna close the door
Seems to me
Nothing comes that easily
Time to leave
Youll take it all and run from me
But Im not gonna call you again
Im not gonna pick up the phone
No Im not going through it again
Youre not gonna leave me alone
Im not gonna call you again
Im not gonna pick up the phone
No Im not going through it again
Youre not gonna leave me alone
But Im not gonna call you again
Im not gonna pick up the phone
No Im not going through it again
Youre not gonna leave me alone
Im not gonna call you again
Im not gonna pick up the phone
No Im not going through it again
Youre not gonna leave me alone
But Im not gonna call you again
Im not gonna pick up the phone
No Im not going through it again
Youre not gonna leave me alone

song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm living a dream

I'm living a dream
where people stay together as one
as god want us to be
where all the enemies compromise and become as one
i'm living a dream
where i could wake up and look at the blue sky with a happy sunny face
where i could watch the rainbow on the sky
i'm living a dream
where the battle have to come to an end
i'm living a dream
where i could hear the singing bird
where i could stand on the top of a high mountain and shout for freedom
poor me
we yell at each other
we used each other
we hurt each other
because we are human
this is a way of life
my people let's hope for the best
my people lets stop being selfish
open your eyes and see the world is drifting apart
because of us
i'm living a dream
where we all become as one
holding hands in hands
I'm living a dream
where we all could live without any pain and sorrow
how wonderful would it be
if we stay together
die together
blame together
i just realized we are only human

I'm living a dream

poem by Guenael Oristel
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm sort of a slob.

quote by Patricia Heaton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Silly Little Pop Song

One things for sure
I just cant find the way
To let it seem like all is wrong
Inside my den
Hold back
Breathe easy
She said to me
Go somewhere and change your mind
Just let me sleep
Ive been living in a lesson
Please just come inside and listen
Is it anger at life
Or are you happy to be with me
Are you seeing someone
Or will your faith
Go with no other man
Come on
Let me dream
Ive been living in a lesson
Please just come inside and listen
No need to worry bout all the lying
Please just come inside
Its a thing
To make me want to go
See another
That makes me doubt
Ive been living in a lesson
Please just come inside and listen
No need to worry about all the lyin
All the changing
Please just come inside
Ivebeenlivinginalessonpleasejustcomeisnsideandlisten

song performed by by Hootie & The Blowfish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Harding was not a bad man, he was just a slob.

quote by Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Leave Your Phone At Home

Sometimes it’s better to leave
your phone at home,
You don’t have to answer,
people leave you alone.
Now, it’s St. Patty’s Day,
everyone’s Green and very Gay,
wishing in a most happy way,
to have fun by the ton
which is better then O.K.
Now, leaving my phone
at home made my
night even better,
No calls, anD no

St. Patty’s Day letters.
Except I see
tons of missed calls
from caretaker Sherry,
who would rather be merry.
Those calls I’m glad I missed,
those calls where about Cockroach,
who I am pissed.
Now, can’t you get
a life even on a holiday?
Leave alone
Suzae Chevalier?
No you can’t
so you make Sherry pay.
Don’t you think she has
better things to do?
Then play mommy
for you?
Now, you look
like a fool.
Written by Christina Sunrise on Feb.18,2011

poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Knowing

[Hook]
Brothers on the block knowing
(from this point on it only gets rougher!)
Sisters at the crib knowing
(from this point on it only gets rougher!)
Preachers at the church knowing, we still get by
(from this point on it only gets rougher!)
Teachers at the school knowing
(from this point on it only gets rougher!)
Ladies on the block knowing
(from this point on it only gets rougher!)
Junkies on the corner knowing, but still get high
(from this point on it only gets rougher!)
[Big Boi]
Well here's a formal introduction
Something to make you ponder
The situation's ugly, like "In Living Color"'s Wanda (word up!)
Well everybody play dumb, but there's some that succumb
And fall victim, I will overcome any hurdle or obstacle that's in my path
Fast cash should be the last resort so make it last for the risk you took
Trick, you shook your ass for some hundred dollar heels and a designer bag
Now that's ass backwards
All you got in the refrigertator is bratwurst
Your stomach is balled in a knot, you got that phat purse
Pocketbook, stop and look, pockets look void
Destroyed by the need to indulge and enjoy the finer things in life right?
Your dignity, your only sacrifice, slim as your chances of being somebody's wife
They seeing ya butt, booty naked every night, ain't nothing right or wrong!
[Hook]
[Big Boi]
Even though things started falling apart
Wanda went and bought a Honda
Now she's out of a job, she would slob on a knob
For a little less than a yard, a massage you could drill her like a sarge
She would charge and rob
Pick through yo' pockets
She got the tricks watcha nd the silver locket
That he bought for his wife but

song performed by by Outkast
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm the biggest slob in the world. My apartment is a mess.

quote by Monica Keena
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm not the easiest person to live with. I'm kind of a slob.

quote by Katie Holmes
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

quote by William F. Buckley, Jr.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm just a lucky slob from Ohio who happened to be in the right place at the right time.

quote by Clark Gable
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Dare Not Ask

My life right now is a mess
That I am too disgusted
To straighten up...

The past is ghastly
The present is muddled
And the future's bleak...

What kind of slob
Would allow this to happen?
I dare not ask...

poem by Romeo Della Valle
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Of course people don't want war. Why should a poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best thing he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece?

quote by Hermann Goering
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Lady

I am living in somebody's house,
I am living with somebody's wife,
Through the deep i look and pray;
Like the guilty and the guiltiness upon Egypt's land.
I am living in somebody's house,
I am living with somebody's wife,
Through the dark i do pray;
Like the blind old man with his stick.
This tale is old,
This only star is lonely,
But the summer is green;
So let my memory still be thy pride and,
Let the river nobly foams and flows;
Like the white winter.
To nature and to me so dear,
Of my name in a story like this;
Like the wolf on the fold.
Those days are gne but, beauty still lies here;
Of all the pleasant places of festivity like,
a river ebbing very slow from the red gash;
I am living with somebody's wife.

poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Living Without Your Love

(michael bolton/doug james)
Looks like you win
Its just like you called it from the start
I let you in
Now I cant get you out of my heart
Here I am
Im dreamin about you night and day
Wanting you
Needing you
Hopin you stay
All of my life
I thought I knew the taste of sweet
In my eye
My life was so complete
There you were
That same smile you wear tonight
Suddenly
This heart and me
Cant understand how
Ive been living without your love
Never know how I did it so long
Living without your love
All I know is I just cant go on
Living without your love
Darlin Ive had more than enough
Living without your love
Till I found you
I never knew love could feel like this
Now that I do
I wanna make up for what I missed
Here we are
What I thought was just a dream
Its comin true
Because of you
I know what love means
And Ive been living without your love
Never know how I made it so long
Living without your love
All I know is I just cant go on
Living without your love
Darlin Ive had more than enough
Of living without your love
All the world couldnt see
But somehow you knew
Everything I ever needed
Id find it with you
(Ive been) Ive been living without your love
Never know how I made it so long
Living without your love
All I know is I just cant go on
Living without your love
Darlin Ive had more than enough
Of living without your love

song performed by by Eric Carmen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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