Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.
quote by Buddy Hackett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Strange Magic
Youre sailing softly through the sun
In a broken stone age dawn.
You fly so high.
I get a strange magic,
Oh, what a strange magic,
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic,
Got a strange magic.
Youre walking meadows in my mind,
Making waves across my time,
Oh no, oh no.
I get a strange magic,
Oh, what a strange magic,
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic,
Got a strange magic.
Oh, Im never gonna be the same again,
Now Ive seen the way its got to end,
Sweet dream, sweet dream.
Strange magic,
Oh, what a strange magic,
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic,
Got a strange magic.
Its magic, its magic, its magic.
Strange magic,
Oh, what a strange magic,
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic.
Strange magic strange magic
Oh, what a strange magic strange magic
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic.
Strange magic strange magic
Oh, what a strange magic strange magic
Oh, its a strange magic.
Got a strange magic,
Got a strange magic,
You know I got a strange magic,
Yeah, I got a strange magic,
Oo-o-o-oo, strange magic. (fade)
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart.
quote by Robert Redford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Strange Things Happen
She believes in god
And karma too
Paranormal powers
You know some people do
Got scorpio risin
Uh huh
Tell you whats in your stars
She was down in rio
Turn the heads of state
Got em into makin
This planet a better place
On copacabana
Uh huh
Oh yeah she radiate better go meditate
Everytime I touch my baby
Strange things happen
Strange things happen
Everytime I touch my baby
Strange things happen to me
Strange things happen
Oh ohhh ohhhh
Oh oh strange things happen
Everytime I touch my baby
Strange things happen to me
Met a pshycic reader
With a crystal ball
Had a vision
Said we could have it all
I caught her gazin
Uh huh
At our destiny cosmically
Everytime I touch my baby
Strange things happen
Oh ohhh ohhhh
Oh oh strange things happen
Everytime I touch my baby
Strange things happen to me
Strange things happen
Oh ohhh ohhhh
Oh oh strange things happen
Everytime I touch my baby
Strange things happen to me
Strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange
Strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange
Strange strange strange
Strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange
Strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange
Strange strange strange
Strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange strange
Strange strange strange strange strange
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Strange Days
Sometimes we have strange days
when you are going somewhere
you have been countless times before.
As you drive down the roads,
it is as if it is the first time you have been there.
Arriving at your destination
everyone you see reminds you of someone else
in a different place many miles from where you are.
With some, it is the way they walk,
in others the ways they do their hair.
Strange days when nothing
seems the way it should be.
You journey through the day
as if you’re walking in a dream,
all the time wondering
when reality is going to kick in.
How will you feel tomorrow
when you wake to a new day,
will it be as strange as the one
you experienced today.
Only tomorrow knows
and its secrets it is not giving up
to you or anyone else.
Until the day is over more strange things
you may uncover
on what I call strange days
that happen occasionally in our lives.
18 July 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Buck Nekkid
Two shots shy of a 40 ounce quart
A hand in the pocket and a hand in the shorts
Shoot me with two and don't be slow
Only got one good way to go
Get naked
Buck naked
Buck naked
It's the only way to go
Twenty six chicks, all tied in a knot
Ain't all good, but it's what we got
Get naked
Buck naked
Let me see you naked
It's the only way to go
Buck buck
I was feelin' so fine
And things were lookin' better
My baby said maybe
And I said I'd let her
Get naked
Buck naked
Let's get naked
It's the only way to go
Get naked
Everybody get naked
Buck naked
It's the onliest way to go
Get naked
Get buck naked, yeah
song performed by by ZZ Top
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Naked Without You
What have I done I broke your heart
Now theres no sun just cold and dark
Without your smile I cant laugh
Without you baby Im just a half
I didnt know just what I had
I didnt know Id feel this bad
But I feel
Naked without you
I feel naked without you
I feel naked without you
What have I done I broke a vow
Now Im the one whos crying now
Without your touch I cant feel
Without forgiveness I cant heal
Nobody else can take your place
And if I dont see your angel face
I feel
Naked without you
Im still cray about you
I feel naked without you
I hurt the one who really loved me
Dont look at me
I feel ugly
Im naked without you ohhhhhhh
Im so tired but I cant sleep
I threw away a love so deep
Im naked without you repeat
song performed by by Taylor Dayne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fishing or Golf, Take your Pick
Do you golf? I've been asked this question a great deal
But I answer with a smile, "Hey, a golf ball won't make a meal."
If you use your driver or iron, whatever your whim
I reply, "I would rather try to teach a worm to swim."
Some argue, you get exercise by walking from hole to hole
You can't do that sitting in a boat holding a pole.
No matter if you golf or fish, both cost a lot of dough
And both result in making your wife a fishing or golf widow.
One can't be sure which sport is really the best
Until you have tried both, passed the inevitable test.
So, if you can worm your way through all this confusion
You might fish around and land a sound conclusion.
This won't decrease your drive nor will you be less on the ball
By weighing the pros and cons for each sport overall.
Golfing has some prestige whereas fishing does not
So pick your choice, determine your own lot.
You can't make a mistake whichever one you choose
Cause after all, what have you got to lose
So my friends, if we don't always agree
Fish around for your solution, it may fit you to a tee.
poem by Jr. William B. Booth
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Barefooted
I am walking barefooted and naked because,
I have my mind on you;
I am walking barefooted and naked because,
I have my love for you;
But Moab will wail fro Moab.
You are the one that i love and,
Naked and barefooted i do go about daily for you;
But gladness and joy will be taken away very soon from Moab.
Like a carved ivory, you are as fair as the moon;
Like the highlights of the mountains,
You are easily reached up in love than others;
So we need no war around us.
Life is as bright as the sun on the sweet bed of spices,
And true love is like the fragrance of Lebanon;
But like a carved ivory on your love,
This love is sweeter than wine!
A carved ivory,
Of our legs of love and the peace that it brings;
And like the harp of ten strings,
I am like the native green tree of love to your heart.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Sport-in Life
Golf, baseball and girls, scantily clad
Obsessions of mine when just a young lad
Not listed here in order of rank
Baseball came first, to be perfectly frank
Sports took a back seat as time flew on by
To girls, clad or not, to this more mature guy
Baseball and golf, great in their place
They can’t be compared to a females embrace
Now that I’m aged and much more mature
Girls, clad or not, are somewhat obscure
Golf, baseball and girls, scantily clad
Obsessions of mine, I’m glad to have had
poem by Stanley Cooper
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Girlscout
When you are not around
images of you are
whispered in my ears.
Oh God Dana, you are walking
on my heart
with golf shoes on.
poem by Oscar Rodriguez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Well, they're Southern people, and if they know you are working at home they think nothing of walking right in for coffee. But they wouldn't dream of interrupting you at golf.
quote by Harper Lee
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What We See
I saw him from a distant
Walking through the streets
His eyes sparkled with a kind of absence
Only seen in dreams
As though I was watching
Those phantoms seen only in dreams
Yet in the daylight he was walking
His bright ebony skin gleaming
Under the weight of a large white cross
Suddenly so unremarkably strange
Yet he was as real as the day
Unfolding before me
Returning back onto the streets
In repitition
A ritual
A journey
Some have only dreamt this
Strange pilgrimage
To the heart of an urban mecca
Returning
MANTRAS
Walking between two worlds
Without waking
And what we see in the silence
yvette smith april 09
poem by Yvette Smith
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Naked
So you want me to take it off
Just to see whats
Underneath my cloth
Ill show you Im every
Inch a man
Measure all that you
Think you can
Im more than what
Meets the eye
Flesh n blood is
Often a white lie
By the cover you misjudge
The book
Open your mind and take
Another look
Naked, and Im unashamed
Naked, with no one to blame
Naked, ya you want the truth
Naked, heres my birthday suit
Naked, naked, naked, naked
I pretend to be not anyone
Except me and my imperfections
There is nothing i
Expect of you
That you wouldnt
Expect of me, too
Chorus
Will you excuse me for my ignorance
cause I can see only one
Difference
Those of you who seek to find
While all the others choose
To walk n talk blind
song performed by by Extreme
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I went and took golf lessons so Dad would let me play with him. I was just terrible... but I was able to have a wonderful time just walking around with Dad. I can see the real pleasure of that game.
quote by David Hyde Pierce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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043010b Beautiful Patch Of Land
grounds keeper cut grass today
birds were busy chasing insects
displaced from communal grass
vegetarians busy themselves
looking for seeds that has fallen
newly cut grass is refreshing
it's really wide you can put
a nine holes golf course on it
it's a sanctuary for geese, ducks
they also planted lots of trees
it's a jogging area; relaxing place
me, i practice chipping golf balls
poem by Manonton Dalan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Walking In The Rain
Walking down the street,
Kicking cans,
Looking at the billboards,
(? )
Summing up the people,
Checking out the race,
Doing what Im doing,
Feeling out of place,
Walking, walking,
In the rain.
Feeling like a woman,
Looking like a man,
Sounding like a no-no,
Mating when I can,
Whistling in the darkness,
Shining in the night,
Coming to conclusions,
Right is night is tight,
Walking, walking,
In the rain.
Come in all you jesters,
Enter all you fools,
Sit down no-nos,
Vulgar fools,
Trip the light fantastic,
Dance the swivel hips,
Coming to conclusions,
Button up your lips,
Walking, walking,
In the rain.
song performed by by Grace Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it.