If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
quote by Jeff Foxworthy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
(She Was A) Hotel Detective (single Mix)
She's got her ear to the walls and she's tappin' the calls
If you've got a secret boy, forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel Detective
my little
Hotel Detective
yeah she's a
Hotel Detective
Why don't you check her out
Well the bellhop is funky
The dumbwaiter's a monkey
If there's a knock at the door, boy, forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel Detective
my little
Hotel Detective
yeah
Hotel Detective
Cone on and check her out
She says she likes my face
She says she owns the place
Forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel Detective
my little
Hotel Detective
come on her
Hotel Detective
Why don't you check her out
Hotel Detective
Come on and swing with me
Hotel Detective
From the top of a tree
Hotel Detective
And make me feel like a bee
Hotel Detective
That's where I want to know you
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hotel Detective
She's got her ear to the walls and she's tappin' the calls
If you've got a secret boy, forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel detective
My little
Hotel detective
Yeah she's a
Hotel detective
Why don't you check her out
Well the bellhop is funky
The dumbwaiter's a monkey
If there's a knock at the door, boy, forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel detective
My little
Hotel detective
Yeah
Hotel detective
Cone on and check her out
She says she likes my face
She says she owns the place
Forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel detective
My little
Hotel detective
Come on her
Hotel detective
Why don't you check her out
Hotel detective
Come on and swing with me
Hotel detective
From the top of a tree
Hotel detective
And make me feel like a bee
Hotel detective
That's where i want to know you
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Its Alright To Be A Redneck
Ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom ba bom ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom ba bom ba bom bom
Its alright to be a redneck
Its alright to ride around in a dirty old truck
Catch a bunch of fish and shoot a bunch of duck
Its alright to be a redneck
Chase around the girls on friday night
You wanna make em feel alright
Its alright, its alright,
Its alright to be a redneck
Its alright to be a redneck
Its alright to work hard in the sun all day
Drink a couple beers after bailin hay
Its good to be a redneck
Drive by ernies for some bbq
Showin off your brand new boots
Its alright, its alright,
Its alright to be a redneck
The kids are gonna cry
And the chickens gonna fry you know it
The car wont run
So your cousins comin by to tow it
Ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom ba bom ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom bom
Ba bom ba bom ba bom bom
Its alright to be a redneck
Its alright to have a girl named thelma-lou
Who dont mind a little kiss when ya got a little chew
Party on the road by the light of the moon
Dancin to a country tune
Its alright, its alright
Its alright to be a redneck
(repeat)
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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These Are Our Neighbors
Offered are no alternatives.
But complaints are voiced and heard.
Suggestions they have none.
But they come with venom,
On their tongues.
Exposing the teeth of wolves...
Seeking tender meat,
To consume and run!
These are my neighbors.
These are your neighbors.
These are our neighbors...
Every one.
These are my neighbors.
These are your neighbors.
These are our neighbors...
Every one.
Knockingdownwhatcanbefoundtogetnothin gdone.
Takingoutofcontextwithawishfailurecomes!
And these are my neighbors.
These are your neighbors.
These are our neighbors...
Every one.
Yes these are my neighbors.
These are your neighbors.
And these are our neighbors...
Every one.
Pickinguptheirtelephonestogossipwithm orelies.
Hopingwhatissaidwillkeepthetruthindis guise.
To keep deceit and defeat on the rise!
And...
These are my neighbors.
These are your neighbors.
These are our neighbors...
Every one.
Yes...
These are my neighbors.
These are your neighbors.
These are our neighbors...
Every one.
Offered are no alternatives.
But complaints are voiced and heard.
Suggestions they have none.
But they come with venom,
On their tongues.
Exposing the teeth of wolves...
Seeking tender meat,
To consume and run!
Pickinguptheirtelephonestogossipwithmorel ies.
Hopingwhatissaidwillkeepthetruthindisguis e.
To keep deceit and defeat on the rise!
And these are my neighbors.
These are your neighbors.
These are our neighbors...
Every one.
Yes these are my neighbors.
These are your neighbors.
And these are our neighbors...
Every one.
These are my neighbors.
These are your neighbors.
These are our neighbors...
Every one.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You Sure Got This Ol' Redneck Feelin' Blue
(Dean DillonBuzz Rabin)
O' I recall some ball room brawls
That I got myself in to
Just a stick or two
Got mee back together
But, what's it take to ease a leak
That came with losin' you
I thought I was tough
But goodbye's to much
This healin' is taking forever
Woman you sure got this ol' redneck feelin' blue
What's goin' on inside me
I ain't use to goin' through
This ol' country boy's hillbilly heart
Is breakin' in two
Yeah you sure got this ol' redneck feelin' blue
I've never seen anything hit me quite like this
You know the pain and loneliness
They kepp hangin' with me
O' this good time joke he took quite a blow
O' why'd you call it quits
It'll take some time to mend my mind
And put me out of my misery
Woman you sure got this ol' redneck feelin' blue
What's goin' on inside me
I ain't use to goin' through
This ol' country boy's hillbilly heart
Is breakin' in two
Yeah you sure got this ol' redneck feelin' blue
Woman, yeah you sure have this ol' redneck feelin' blue
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Redneck Wonderland
I dont want to run I dont want to stay
Cos everything thats near and dear is old and in decay
Emergency has gone, apathy rolling on
Time to take a stand
Redneck wonderland
Got you in my sights, spotlit by the fence
If your small youre faking, its just common sense
Brick and tile for miles, rolling in the aisles
Rifle in my hand
Redneck wonderland
Well the streets are clean, nothing gets away
I can see the beauty treatment draining from your face
It is vision free, its poor bugger me
Something less than grand
Redneck wonderland
song performed by by Midnight Oil
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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But the first published thing I did was a detective story, detective novel, and I did that on my own.
quote by Peter Shaffer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
quote by Jeff Foxworthy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Grant Us Peace, Father of Abraham, Isaac and Ishmael
Grant us peace,
that we may not oppress our neighbors
Grant us justice,
that we may not enslave our neighbors
Grant us sanity,
that we may not torture our neighbors
Grant us mercy,
that we may not murder our neighbors
Grant us conscience
that we may not expel our neighbors
Grant us love,
that we may hunger for truth
Grant us discernment
that we may know what is ours, and what is not
Grant us decency
that we may return what we stole
Grant us courage
that we may admit what we’ve done
Give us strength to atone.
Ask only
that we end our silence.
Blue Blooded Woman
Blue blooded womans
She loves a violin, I love a fiddle
We go separate ways but we meet in the middle
Dont see eye to eye but were hand in hand
A blue blooded woman and a redneck man
The lady I love loves silk and satin
She was raised uptown with a silver spoon
Well, I was born on a farm just south of jackson
We had an old ford tractor and a country moon
She loves a violin, I love a fiddle
We go separate ways but we meet in the middle
Dont see eye to eye but were hand in hand
A blue blooded woman and a redneck man
Shes saks fifth avenue perfection
Caviar and dignified
Well, I live my life in wal mart fashion
And I like my sushi southern fried
She loves a violin, I love a fiddle
We go separate ways but we meet in the middle
Dont see eye to eye but were hand in hand
A blue blooded woman and a redneck man
She loves a violin, I love a fiddle
We go separate ways but we meet in the middle
Dont see eye to eye but were hand in hand
A blue blooded woman and a redneck man
Shes a blue blooded woman, Im a redneck man.
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Up Against The Wall Redneck Mother
(ray wylie hubbard)
He was born in oklahoma
His wifes name is betty jo thelma liz.
Hes not responsible for what hes doing;
His mother made him what he is.
And its up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
Hes thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Just kicking all them hippies asses raising hell.
Well, you know, he sure likes to drink that lone star beer
And he chases it down with that wild turkey bourbon liquor.
He got a 57 gmc pick em up truck with a gun rack
And a Id rather be a roper than a doper bumper sticker.
And its up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
Hes thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Just kicking all them hippies asses raising hell.
M is for the mud flaps you gave me for my pick-up truck
O is for the oil I put in my pick-up truck, drain it out, and put grease on my hair,
T is for tolly parton,
H is for haggard
E is for el paso and
R is for redneck!
And its up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
Hes thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Kicking all them hippies asses raising hell.
And its up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
And hes thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Just kicking all them hippies asses raising hell.
Where, kinky ?
Where ? right here in the lone star caf in new york city!
song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Paint The Town Redneck
(richard fagan/steve obrien)
All week long I been workin that nine to five
Dreamin in color but livin in black and white
Monday to friday aint nothing but shades of gray
But tonight Im gonna party
All my blue collar blues away
Im a paint the town redneck when I get my paycheck
You ought to see my chevy van go
Headin for the bright lights, Ill be painting all night
Im a honky tonkin michelangelo
Picasso with a pool stick
Too loose with a two step
Rollin till my greens all gone
Im a paint the town redneck
Honey wanna come along
We can get there early
And draw us a pitcher of beer
Do a little dancin and make the blues disappear
Brushin up against each other in the neon light
You can be my mona lisa and Ill make you smile tonight
Im a paint the town redneck when I get my paycheck
You ought to see my chevy van go
Headin for the bright lights, Ill be painting all night
Im a honky tonkin michelangelo
Picasso with a pool stick
Too loose with a two step
Rollin till my greens all gone
Im a paint the town redneck
Honey wanna come along
Im a paint the town redneck
Honey wanna come along
song performed by by John Michael Montgomery
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Orange And The Green
There were two Soccer teams
They were Irish and were called
The Orange and the Green
But alas, every time they played
They brawled and fought
And the playing of Soccer
Counted less then nought
When the match was over
They always travelled home by Bus
They were found early in the morn
Scattered and battered and most surely
All of them were dead
Much deader then all the dead
The police were baffled
As to how it all came about
The only clue was the Orange Mascot
So named Irish the sole survivor of the crash
He sat lonely by the road
Detective Green who was in charge
Of the investigation
Endeavoured to test the intelligence of the Monkey
So he put to him some questions
That could solve the mystery of why the Bus did crash
And the death of the Orange and the Green
He asked the Monkey what they were all doing
Just before the crash
The Monkey Irish grabbed a glass
And raised it to his lips
And what was the driver doing
Just before the crash, asked Detective Green
The Monkey smiled and raised the glass
Straight to his hairy lips
Just one more question said Detective Sargent Green
Who was driving the said Bus just before the crash
The Monkey smiled and showing all his pearly whites
He grabbed the battered steering wheel
And turned it to the right
poem by Allan James Saywell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mysteries
All last night I kept speaking in this
archaic language, because I had been reading
Poe and thinking about him. I read 'The Murders
in the Rue Morgue' which is supposedly the first
detective story. Who dun it? I wondered.
It turns out an orangutan was the murderer.
It looks to me like the detective story genre got off
to a pretty ridiculous start. I used to visit
Poe's house in the Bronx. I used to think,
God, Poe must have been a midget. Everything
is so small. Poe died in Baltimore and I can see why.
In Baltimore, all the people are very big and sincere.
During dinner last night, I told Doug and Susan
about 'Murders in the Rue Morgue.' I said I hadn't
finished it yet, but it looked like the murderer
was going to turn out to be an orangutan, unless
the plot took a surprising new twist. Then Doug
suggested that he and I collaborate
on a series of detective stories in which
the murderer is always an orangutan.
[from The Great Indoors, Story Line Press, 1995]
http://www.terencewinch.com
poem by Terence Winch
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It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story.
quote by Agatha Christie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I'm home with no chore at hand, and a package of books has come, the television set and the chess board and the unanswered mail will have to manage without me if one of the books is a detective story.
Red Neck Friend
Pretty little one
How has it all begun?
Theyre teaching you how to walk
But youre already on the run
Little one--
What you gonna do?
Little one--
Honey, its all up to you
Now your daddys in the den shootin up the evening news
Mamas with a friend, lately shes been so confused
Little one--
Come on and take my hand
I may not have the answer but I believe I got a plan
Honey you shake and Ill rattle and well roll on down the line
And see if we cant get in touch with a very close friend of mine
But let me clue you in, it aint like him
To argue or pretend--
Honey let me introduce you to my redneck friend
Well theyve got a little list of all those things of which they dont approve
Theyve got to keep their eyes on you or you might make your move
Little one--
I really wish you would
Little one--
I think the damage would do you good
Honey you shake and Ill rattle and well roll on down the line
Were going to forget all about the battle
Its gonna feel so fine
cause hes the missing link, the kitchen sink--
Eleven on a scale of ten
Honey let me introduce you to my redneck friend
Honey you shake and Ill rattle and well roll on down the line
Im going to try to swing you up into my saddle
And then well run but youll think were flyin
Now honey dont just stand there
Lookin like this dream will never end
Honey let me introduce you to my redneck friend
song performed by by Jackson Browne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Months
January brings the snow,
makes our feet and fingers glow.
February brings the rain,
Thaws the frozen lake again.
March brings breezes loud and shrill,
stirs the dancing daffodil.
April brings the primrose sweet,
Scatters daises at our feet.
May brings flocks of pretty lambs,
Skipping by their fleecy damns.
June brings tulips, lilies, roses,
Fills the children's hand with posies.
Hot july brings cooling showers,
Apricots and gillyflowers.
August brings the sheaves of corn,
Then the harvest home is borne.
Warm september brings the fruit,
Sportsmen then begin to shoot.
Fresh October brings the pheasents,
Then to gather nuts is pleasent.
Dull November brings the blast,
Then the leaves are whirling fast.
Chill December brings the sleet,
Blazing fire, and Christmas treat.
poem by Sara Coleridge
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These rooms are decorated in two days. It's all kept secret. The neighbors spend the night in each other's home. They don't see their finished room until the end of the second day. They have no say what happens in their own home.
quote by Paige Davis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Only Memories Left
Searching my youth of another day
of time that went away
back in the old home town
with family and friends, brings a frown.
To be home again
of my search I begin
the places I remember are gone now
to progress they have bowed.
So many changes in the city
every thing gone, oh it's a pity
my youth was here for many years
to see how it's changed brings tears.
It's true you can't go home again
to the place it all began
memories is all I have left
to my heart the memories have cleft