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(She Was A) Hotel Detective (single Mix)

She's got her ear to the walls and she's tappin' the calls
If you've got a secret boy, forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel Detective
my little
Hotel Detective
yeah she's a
Hotel Detective
Why don't you check her out
Well the bellhop is funky
The dumbwaiter's a monkey
If there's a knock at the door, boy, forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel Detective
my little
Hotel Detective
yeah
Hotel Detective
Cone on and check her out
She says she likes my face
She says she owns the place
Forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel Detective
my little
Hotel Detective
come on her
Hotel Detective
Why don't you check her out
Hotel Detective
Come on and swing with me
Hotel Detective
From the top of a tree
Hotel Detective
And make me feel like a bee
Hotel Detective
That's where I want to know you

song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hotel Detective

She's got her ear to the walls and she's tappin' the calls
If you've got a secret boy, forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel detective
My little
Hotel detective
Yeah she's a
Hotel detective
Why don't you check her out
Well the bellhop is funky
The dumbwaiter's a monkey
If there's a knock at the door, boy, forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel detective
My little
Hotel detective
Yeah
Hotel detective
Cone on and check her out
She says she likes my face
She says she owns the place
Forget about it, 'cause she's a
Hotel detective
My little
Hotel detective
Come on her
Hotel detective
Why don't you check her out
Hotel detective
Come on and swing with me
Hotel detective
From the top of a tree
Hotel detective
And make me feel like a bee
Hotel detective
That's where i want to know you

song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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(She Was A) Hotel Detective

She's got her ear to the walls
And she's tapping the calls
If you've got a secret, boy, forget about it
Because she's a hotel detective
Why don't you check her out
Well, the bellhop is funky
The dumbwaiter's a monkey
If there's a knock on the door, boy, forget about it
She says she likes my face
She says she owns the place
Forget about it
Come on and swing with me
>From the top of a tree
And make me feel like a bee
That's where I want to know you
- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * -

song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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But the first published thing I did was a detective story, detective novel, and I did that on my own.

quote by Peter Shaffer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Heartbreak Hotel

Whitney houston feat/faith evans & kelly price
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
You said youd be here by nine
Instead you took your time
You didnt think to call me, boy
Here I sit trying not to cry
Asking myself why
You do this to me, mm oh baby
Since youre not around
For me to tell ya baby, face to face
Im writing you this letter
And this is what I have to say
1 - all I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies
When someone else was on your mind
What you do to me
Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone
Who would do me right
Until you played with my emotions
And you made me cry
What you do to me
Cant take what you did to me
Now I see that youve been doin wrong
Played me all along
And made a fool of me, baby
You got it all wrong
To think that I wouldnt find out
That you were cheating on me, baby
How could you do it to me
Since youre not around
For me to tell ya baby, face to face
Im writing you this letter
And this is what I have to say
Repeat 1
Heartbreak hotel
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
This is the heart break hotel
Repeat 1 with ad lib until fade

song performed by by Kelly Price
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love Hotel

If you travel with
Those who know you well
I can recommend
Stay at love hotel.
Every room a hallway
Softly sell
Dont get stranded on the lift
Of the love hotel
Love hotel, love hotel, love hotel.
Dont deny yourself
It wants simple truth
Ring for give and take
As the floor and room.
Every room a hallway
Who can tell
Dont get stranded by the lift
Of the love hotel
Love hotel, love hotel, love hotel.
Every room a hallway
Softly sell
Dont get stranded by the lift
Of the love hotel
Love hotel, love hotel.

song performed by by Neil Young
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Were An American Band

On the road for forty days,
Last night in little rock put me in a haze.
Sweet, sweet connie -- doin her act,
She had the whole show and thats a natural fact.
Up all night with freddy king,
I got to tell you pokers his thing.
A-booze n ladies keep me right,
As long as we can make it to the show tonight.
Chorus
Were an american band.
Were an american band.
Were coming to your town, well help you party it down.
Were an american band.
Four young chaquitas in omaha,
Was waitin for the band to return from the show.
Feelin good, feelin right, its saturday night,
The hotel detective -- he was out-a-sight.
Now, these fine ladies, they had a plan,
They was out to meet the boys in the band.
They said, come on, dudes, lets get it on,
And we proceeded to tear that hotel down.
Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Were an american band, ooo-ooo.
Were an american band, ooo-ooo.
Were an american band, ooo-ooo.

song performed by by Grand Funk Railroad
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Twilight Hotel

Midnight masquerade
Innocent fantasies
Never ended from room to room
Dressed up for sharades
Every guest has a part to play
And the rules are understood
Undercover
A secret rendez-vous
They won't discover
That it's me and it's you
At the Twilight Hotel
Check your soul at the door
They've got memories to sell
And so much more
Last call at the bar
Fast talkin' it promises
Never really reaching the lines
Seems to bizarre
Such a twisted reality
This place full of manic minds
It's like a dreamland
With time standing still
So make your big plans
They've got all the frills
At the Twilight Hotel
Check your soul at the door
They've got memories to sell
And so much more
In the Twilight Hotel
Price of life still like gold
It's a twilight magic spell
And anything goes
Undercover
A secret rendez-vous
They won't discover
That it's me and it's you
At the Twilight Hotel
Check your soul at the door
They've got memories to sell
And so much more
In the Twilight Hotel
Price of life still like gold
It's a twilight magic spell
And anything goes

song performed by by Quiet Riot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mysteries

All last night I kept speaking in this
archaic language, because I had been reading
Poe and thinking about him. I read 'The Murders
in the Rue Morgue' which is supposedly the first
detective story. Who dun it? I wondered.
It turns out an orangutan was the murderer.
It looks to me like the detective story genre got off
to a pretty ridiculous start. I used to visit
Poe's house in the Bronx. I used to think,
God, Poe must have been a midget. Everything
is so small. Poe died in Baltimore and I can see why.
In Baltimore, all the people are very big and sincere.
During dinner last night, I told Doug and Susan
about 'Murders in the Rue Morgue.' I said I hadn't
finished it yet, but it looked like the murderer
was going to turn out to be an orangutan, unless
the plot took a surprising new twist. Then Doug
suggested that he and I collaborate
on a series of detective stories in which
the murderer is always an orangutan.

[from The Great Indoors, Story Line Press, 1995]
http://www.terencewinch.com

poem by Terence Winch
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story.

quote by Agatha Christie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There is no mystery, at least not the kind you want. In real life there are no fogbound moors or clues on matchbooks or fifth columnists waiting to be unmasked. it would be nice if here were, because then there would be solutions to things in life, but it doesn't always work that way. Everyone likes a good detective story. I went through my Hammett phase in college. I think the attraction is, in life our mysteries aren't exciting. You know They're just intractable and depressing and enervating. Like, why do we always hurt the ones we love. Where does the money go ...in a detective story, at least the universe makes sense. It was him. He did it. The natural order is disturbed, but the beauty of it is that it's restored again.

quote by Rogers Turrentine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sitting In My Hotel

If my friends could see me now, driving round just like a film star,
In a chauffeur driven jam jar, they would laugh.
They would all be saying that its not really me,
They would all be asking who Im trying to be.
If my friends could see me now,
Looking out my hotel window,
Dressed in satin strides and two-tone daisy roots,
If my friends could see me now I know they would smile.
Sitting in my hotel, hiding from the dramas of this great big world,
Seven stories high, looking at the world go by-y.
Sitting in my hotel room, thinking about the countryside and sunny days in june.
Trying to hide the gloom, sitting in my hotel room.
If my friends could see me now, dressing up in my bow-tie,
Prancing round the room like some outrageous poove,
They would tell me that Im just being used
They would ask me what Im trying to prove.
They would see me in my hotel,
Watching late shows till the morning,
Writing songs for old time vaudeville revues.
All my friends would ask me what its all leading to.
Sitting in my hotel, looking through the window at the people in the street,
Seven stories high looking at the world go by,
Sitting in my hotel, looking at the world outside.
If my friends could see me now they would try to understand me,
They would ask me what on earth Im trying to prove.
All my friends would ask me what its all leading to.

song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cadillac Hotel

What in himmel makes us going there
Das blau in ihren blicken erinnert sehr,
An-ein swimming-pool Im winter
At cadillac hotel
Tour-retour acting on lamour, spielen
Das alte spiel
Der schlange kur-so nah
Ihr hohes ziel.
Denn die zeichen stehen verndert
Neuer tendenzen-konsequenz
Extravaganza hi-tech-hexen
And the pressure
And the pressure
Is immens!
Ive been waiting at cadillac hotel
Ive been waiting
Waiting for your love
I lost you
At cadillac hotel
I cant find you
Girl where are you now?
Cadillac hotel
Neue herrinnen warten nicht, dienen nicht
Neue herrinnen geben sich, nehmen sich
Whatever they want
At cadillac hotel.
Und die uhren sie stehen fr uns bereit
Bereit fr den kampf um unsere zeit,
Letzte schattenspiele
At cadillac hotel.
Dann ruft die domina-connection
Zur-promotion
Vom nymphomanian planquadrat
Bis zum single-market
Hatten wir alles
Hatten wir alles
Schon.
Ive been waiting at cadillac hotel
Ive been waiting
Waiting for your love
I lost you
At cadillac hotel
I cant find you
Girl where are you now?
Cadillac hotel

song performed by by Falco
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hotel Rooms

'Hotel rooms constitute a separate moral universe.'
-Tom Stoppard

A bed, a telephone, the cord
to the world
beyond the womb . . .
Here lovers meet, have met,
will meet again behind different faces
while the icy picures
look on,
seeing nothing.

Hotel rooms see nothing.

Business transacted,
prostitutes killed,
marriages silently shaken;
what happens here
is off the record;
there is no record
when the sheets
are changed
every night
for other guests.

& you my darling
my lover, my reader,
ultimately
myself,
why are you hungering so,
why are you opening
abysses in yourself
before you rush off
to the next appointment?

Eternity is just
a hotel room-
deluxe or seedy
as the fates allow,
lonely as the loneliest
one-night stand,
& with no telephone.

Or is it the body?
Is the body the hotel room after all?
O let us inhabit it amply, crying
& screaming & embracing
before we

check out.

poem by Erica Jong
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Orange And The Green

There were two Soccer teams
They were Irish and were called
The Orange and the Green
But alas, every time they played
They brawled and fought
And the playing of Soccer
Counted less then nought
When the match was over
They always travelled home by Bus
They were found early in the morn
Scattered and battered and most surely
All of them were dead
Much deader then all the dead
The police were baffled
As to how it all came about
The only clue was the Orange Mascot
So named Irish the sole survivor of the crash
He sat lonely by the road
Detective Green who was in charge
Of the investigation
Endeavoured to test the intelligence of the Monkey
So he put to him some questions
That could solve the mystery of why the Bus did crash
And the death of the Orange and the Green
He asked the Monkey what they were all doing
Just before the crash
The Monkey Irish grabbed a glass
And raised it to his lips
And what was the driver doing
Just before the crash, asked Detective Green
The Monkey smiled and raised the glass
Straight to his hairy lips
Just one more question said Detective Sargent Green
Who was driving the said Bus just before the crash
The Monkey smiled and showing all his pearly whites
He grabbed the battered steering wheel
And turned it to the right

poem by Allan James Saywell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I pretend I'm one of the royal family when I'm in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me - it is a palace.

quote by Martin Short
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Suspect

Tonight the real clues approach the detective,
Angry images of a god parade the temple,
Forces are at work eventually.

We matter to themselves as a party,
The godly forceps, these godly powers.
Yet anger creeps into the rhyme,
A poem is incomplete and unfair,
Yet the irate shepherd shall carry his sheep
Back with haste to half-complete the poetry.

To feel worshipful we must complete the duty
Daring us tonight, to speak with fists
As far as dollies and their fairy-talk.
This poem concentrates on the
Suspicions held by the detective.

poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hell Hotel

Salutations paint his karma, bend joints in fighting words
Got his mean streak from his mother, ha ha ha
Now love boats paint his liver, with eyes on the city lights
Collapsin on the upbeats or relaxin for the night
He steps into a crazy hotel, the desk clerk hands him soap-on-a-rope
What does he mean by this?
Bellhop takes his flashlight, takes john up to his room
Va-va-va-voom this is a sweet life, anthrax on the couch
Were here to entertain you, or have you seen this episode
Were the ancient order of robot dolls, were putting you at the controls
Well, well, well welcome to hell hotel
Well, well, well welcome to hell hotel
Sports cars and the gamblin, johns winning every night
Well theres certain smells john cant repel, but momma it cant be right
He bolts awake laughing, but no ones in his room
And the big boss man doesnt understand why john cant smile no more
Were here to make you happy, thats all that we are programmed for
But you say this pleasures a pain for you
Sebastian c. could tell you more
Well, well, well welcome to hell hotel
Well, well, well welcome to hell hotel

song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Room At The Heartbreak Hotel

From where I stand
I can see thrugh you
From where youre sitting, pretty one
I know it got to you
I see the stars in your eyes
You want the truth, but you need the lies
Like judy garland, like valentino
You give your life for rock n roll
Uh huh
Stand, were on a landslide of love
You got everything you want
But what you need you give away
For primitive love
And a ride on the mistery train
A primitive love
A room at the heart...
The heartbreak hotel
A room at the heartbreak
Heartbreak hotel
A room at the heartbreak
Heartbreak hotel
You say its love, its not the money
You let them suck your life out like honey
Turning tricks, youre on the street
Selling your kisses so bittersweet
[gospel voices]
A primitive love
A and a ride on the mistery train
A primitive love
A room at the heart
The heartbreak hotel
A room at the heartbreak, the heartbreak,
The heartbreak hotel, hotel
[repeat until end]

song performed by by U2
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We stay in U2's hotel. They bought a hotel, The Clarence, a nice place and it's in an area where everything's happening, so many fantastic restaurants and bars and the people are so friendly.

quote by Bonnie Tyler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Happy Hogan’s Hotel

Welcome to Happy Hogan’s Hotel
with a bedpan under the bed
for when the call of nature calls
in the middle of the night.
We would not like you to get
cold tootsies walking on the floor
or stumble about in the dark
looking for the toilet door.
We include a tin of air freshener
in case the air gets noxious too
and a box of matches so you can wee straight
and not across the floor.
If you do, it will leak through the ceiling
and onto the person on the floor below
and they might not be happy
lying in a soggy bed.
Welcome to the Happy Hogan’s Hotel
your needs are what we happily cater for
and any complaint will be dealt with quickly
in the alley around the back,
it is quite painless and it is also free.
We’ve never had any complaints
after they see the sumo wrestler
whose job is to sort them out.
Welcome to the Happy Hogan’s Hotel
and we hope you like your stay
the atmosphere here is always cheerful
as any prison can be.
If you don’t want to visit
then you know just what to do.
When you are asked to pay your fine
just do it on time
or you to can join us
at the Happy Hogan’s Hotel.

17 October 2009

poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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