Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
quote by Dave Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Faith Restricted
So glad am I faith restricted my attempts...
To take tempting shortcuts,
Around those obstacles I did not want to face.
So glad am I,
To have been faith restricted.
So glad it was not stubbornness but insight...
That shown as if a beacon bright,
On my path and journey.
Those doubts that appeared disappeared quickly.
So glad am I,
To have been faith restricted.
So glad am I to have been open to criticisms.
And not afraid to stumble and quit.
With an ego driven into embarrassment.
So glad am I,
To have been faith restricted.
So glad it was not stubbornness but insight...
That shown as if a beacon bright,
On my path and journey.
Those doubts that appeared disappeared quickly.
So glad am I,
To have been faith restricted.
Having it strong and blessed with it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A duck's nest was found today near the trail on the dry open prairie with as far as could be seen no water or marsh near. The bird flew off but could not tell what species. The eggs nine originally.
quote by George Mercer Dawson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Restricted
when i was a kid
they say it is restricted
for adults only
when i became an adult
they say
i must become a child
with all these
unexpected twists and turns
of my life
when i have become neither
a child
or an adult
a man or a woman at an age
where i can not really do
what i want
i say, i am so restricted
and it does not really matter
i am too old to think
i am too old to live
i am they say too young to die
and then when i said
i doubted everything
they tell me, and i like it really
that i am a wise man
of course, i do not understand
but as i am telling you
i like
from then on, just being
restricted
poem by Antonio Liao
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Ex Government Minister.
He lives on his fat retirement pension and he's doing quite okay
And with his wealthy buddies on the golf course every day
He practices his putting and his driving and the good life he enjoy
And of thirst and malnutrition this man will never die.
On the board of a big corporation he makes more in one day
Than many in a month do who work hard for their pay
A man who has become wealthy out of the social divide
As the gap between the haves and the have nots has grown wide.
A former Government Minister none of his mates are poor
And his wife and his family are financially secure
Still good luck to him as I not to be his judge
And of his easy life and affluence him I should not begrudge.
With their wealthy connections he and his wife dine
And in the upper class restaurants drink the most expensive wine
And his voters who gave to him fame and helped his wealth to grow
Are not part of his circle and them he does not wish to know.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Today
There has been a day like today
But a fresh new day is today
It is a unique day today
It is wide open today
All the answers for our questions has today
Let us dream today
Let us laugh today
Let us share our love today
Let us express our greatness today
Let us trade many a yesterday for today
Let us perform our tasks today
Let us make it a magnificent today
Let us thank God for giving life today
Let us thank God for seeing His creations today
Let us love most about today
A golden day is today
For it is a fact today
It has arrived today!
poem by Chandra Thiagarajan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Every dog has its day.
You are happy today.
You are pretty today.
You are proud today.
Do you know why?
You are the host today.
Every host owns that day
And will willingly pay.
03.03.2007
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In The Field Of Absence
in the field of absence
i may find you
as a flower
or a a worm
of someone else
as i stare
at the clouds
asking who owns you
and who owns me
finally i nod
at all the leaves
meeting me
someone owns
you
the western wind
no one owns me
as i decide
to fly east
where the wind
is as soft as silk
i have grown
a pair of wings
you ask
what for?
i am flying away.
you ask
why?
i have no answer
but it is this
why that moves
everything
inside me
i ask too: why?
it keeps on moving
it is silent
it is bitter
it is as deep as a
black river.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!
Being overweight and obesity are major risk factors for many chronic diseases for South Dakotans of all ages. When people are overweight or obese, they have more health problems and more serious health problems, in addition to higher health care costs.
quote by Mike Rounds
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In America today, the percentage of children and adolescents who are defined as overweight is more than double what it was in the early 1970s.
quote by Lois Capps
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Restricted Area
High voltage in the air
No way to know its good or bad
Dont try to trick it down
Otherwise you could be dead
So just look out
It may be mean
Just cant be too afraid of this machine
A hole in the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
Restricted area
A hole in the middle of the night
Restricted area
Your brains been mesmerized
And in your mind this place is full of steel,
So full of steel
So shift to overdrive
Crash away the gang with the men from another space
So be aware
Just leave the scene
The worlds been metallized by this machine
A hole in the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
Restricted area
A hole in the middle of the night
Restricted area
A hole in the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
Restricted area
A hole in the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
Restricted area
A hole in the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
The worlds been metallized
A hole in the middle of the night
Restricted area
A hole in the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
Its a restricted area
Hold on - hold on - hold on
Your brains been mesmerized
A hole in the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
Youre heavy metallized
A hole in the middle of the night
song performed by by U. D. O.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. You've met your New Year's resolution.
Tiger Woods
He is many times over a multi millionaire
And arguably the World's greatest ever golf player
The golfer most young golfers would love to emulate
The legendary sports star and a golfing great
'Tis true Tiger Woods is the golfer to beat
In every golf tournament in which he compete
For many years now the World's number one
So many golf majors the great champ has won
The golfer who has proved himself in every test
That's why by so many he is rated as the best
Professional golfer in the World of today
By millions beyond the borders of the U S of A
The World's number one golfer for many years now
Though to the father of time he eventually must bow.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Went Golfing
I'm so unstable
I mean, I took second in poker last night
and I was pissed because it was 2 in the morning
and it was going to throw my
schedule off the next day
I have meditation at 11
it's supposed to rain at 3
I have this expensive golf pass
and every day I can't use it
it just eats at me
not to mention a ton of work to do
'$%@*#^! '
(One of these days
someone is going to catch me screaming like that)
my poetry is so self-deprecating
plus it's both a home movie and boring
the two things my creative writing teacher says to never do
if I could just get out of debt
I really need to go to meditation today
but I don't know if I'll choose that or golf
seriously
poem by Dallin Bruun
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I guess what was going to come back came back on Monday. Of course now I've played a different golf course. I've played two practice rounds and two tournament rounds all kind of the same and now today I've played a different golf course.
quote by Raymond Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She Prefers Humans
My sister is also a werewolf
and her name is Stasis Ann
she sleeps with one eye open
and hunts whenever she can.
She likes the taste of humans
and especially overweight men
they’re easier to catch by far,
and have less fight in them.
To see her you wouldn’t believe
she was capable of doing this,
but once she’s seduced her man
they get a lot more than a kiss.
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If You Have Money Problems
If you have money problems your problems are not small
And that money speaks all languages that goes for one and all
But that money cannot buy happiness that seems so very true
And to the battlers who keep keeping on great credit must be due,
There are so many paupers for every millionaire
And for millions of people life must seem so unfair
It truly is a rat race in the bigger World out there
And people with compassion have never been so rare,
The poor keep getting poorer whilst the wealthy more wealthy grow
And like tis said how one half live the other half would not know
And an egalatarian World from us seems far away
And even in so called wealthy Nations poverty is rife today
And if you have money problems and are in financial strife
then you are made to struggle with the cross you bear in life.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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