Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.
quote by Dave Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
I believe without exception that theory follows practice. Whenever there is a conflict between theory and practice, theory is wrong. As far as I'm concerned, we make theories for what people have done.
quote by David Baker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Issues
For all, issues arise every day in every shape and size.
You must deal with all of them in ways that are wise.
For some you are glad while others make you mad.
Lucky for you, but a few, are in themselves, truly sad.
Worst of all are issues that you alone cause to be bad.
Before your presence there was no problem to be had.
Love, family and health are key issues of each day,
Though issues of money and power hinder your way.
If not addressed these infections will spread and may
Kill the love you have and result in a life of dismay.
poem by Gregory Huyette
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Marriage Of The Same Sexes
Marriage is not about opposite sexes
coming together for tax breaks
Marriage is for two souls to evolve
spiritually and become great.
Couples are a microcosm of how
we all relate.
If we come from the heart we can add
to the collective consciousness of happiness
not hate.
It's far better same sex married couples are happy
no matter what,
then have opposite sex married couples
hurting each other by kicking each other's butts?
Written by Christina Sunrise on May 14,2012
poem by Christina Sunrise
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Shouting...
i cannot sleep for this constant shouting...
the shouting of trees, the shouting of alleyways,
the shouting of rats crawling through trash.
the shouting of needles and Family Bibles,
the shouting of flags folded and given.
the shouting of machines, abandoned and morose,
the shouting of fields gone barren.
the shouting of poverty ripping color from being,
the shouting of hunger in faces silent.
the shouting of guns loaded and unloaded,
the shouting of clinics, filled without names.
the shouting of prayers wriiten in pavement,
the shouting of rivers filled with sewage.
the shouting of birth, and the shouting of death...
the shouting of love, distant and forgotten.
the shouting of god, in doubt's innumerable forms.
poem by Eric Cockrell
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On The Practice, I get to do what I love to do, and I am making a contribution that will, in the end, help raise social consciousness, dispel some of the myths about being large, and change the way that people view and interact with large people.
quote by Camryn Manheim
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice In practice, there is.
quote by Chuck Reid
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is.
quote by Chuck Reid
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In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
quote by Yogi Berra
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All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.
quote by Ann Landers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership.
quote by Ann Landers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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New Jersey is the first state in the country to agree to treat gay and unmarried couples the same as married couples.
quote by Michael Adams
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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
quote by Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut
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In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not.
quote by Yogi Berra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Without theory, practice is but routine born of habit. Theory alone can bring forth and develop the spirit of inventions.
quote by Louis Pasteur
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Same Sex Marriages
Marriage is not about opposite sexes
coming together for tax breaks
Marriage is for two souls to evolve
spiritually and become great.
Couples are a microcosm of how we all relate.
If we come from the heart we can add
to the collective consciousness of happiness not hate.
It's far better to see same sex marriages
couples be happy no matter what
then seeing opposite sex married couples
hurting each other by kicking each other's butts.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on May 14,2012
poem by Suzae Chevalier
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Practice Every Step
Practice every step.
Do not second guess what it takes.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
There's no sleeping for someone who has a place to go,
So...
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Focus on that goal,
And tighten on your hold,
And...
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Do not second guess what it takes.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Every journey taken,
Must be thought of as a race...
And,
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
There's no other way to straighten out a crooked road,
So...
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
No matter what you're told,
There will be some doubts and woes...
But you,
Practice every step.
Yes you,
Practice every step.
Woes you hold will eventually go,
So...
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
Practice every step.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Men Who Made Bad Matches
'Tis the song of many husbands, and you all must understand
That you cannot call me coward now that women rule the land;
I have written much for women, where I thought that they were right,
But the men who made bad matches claim a song from me to-night.
Oh, the men who made bad matches are of every tribe and clime,
And, if Adam was the first man, then they date from Adam’s time.
They shall live and they shall suffer, until married life is past,
And the last sad son of Adam stands alone—at peace at last.
Oh, the men who made bad matches, and the Great Misunderstood,
Are through all the world a mighty and a silent brotherhood.
If a wife is discontented, every other woman knows—
But the men who made bad matches keep the cruel secret close.
You may say that you can tell them, by their clothing, if you will,
But a man may seem neglected, and his home be happy still.
You may tell by their assumption of conventional disguise—
But, the men who made bad matches, I can tell them by their eyes!
I have seen them by the camp-fire, where a child’s voice never comes,
I have seen them by the fireside, in their seeming happy homes—
Seen their wives’ false arms go round them, and the kisses that were lies—
Oh, the men who made bad matches! I can tell them by their eyes.
I have seen them bad in prison—seen them sullen, seen them sad;
I have seen them (in the mad-house)—I have seen them raving mad.
Watched them fight the battle bravely, for the children’s sake alone,
Like a father who has wronged them, and who lives but to atone.
But it’s cruel, oh! it’s cruel, for the husband and the wife,
Who have not one thought in common, and are yoked for weary life.
They must see it through and suffer, for the children they must rear—
Oh, the folk who made bad matches have a heavy cross to bear.
There is not a ray of comfort, in the future’s gloomy sky,
For the children of bad matches will make trouble by-and-bye.
And though second wives be angels, while the first wives were the worst,
No second wife yet wedded makes a man forget the first.
Ah! the men who made bad matches think more often than we know,
Of the girls they should have married, in the glorious long ago,
And there’s many a wife and mother thinks with bitter pain to-day,
Of her giddy, silly girlhood, and the man she sent away.
Life is sad for men and women, but the thoughts are bitter sad
Of the girls we should have married, and the boys we should have had.
But we’ll part now with a handshake, if we cannot with a kiss,
And bad matches may be mended in a better world than this.
poem by Henry Lawson
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0031 Ted and Sylvia meet the marriage counsellor
‘Let me not to the marriage of true minds
admit impediment’ – and let me say
first of all, that I’m all for that…
but Dr Freud asked me if I’d call you in –
that is, invite you – for a little chat;
there’ll be no fee, of course…
Sylvia, would you sit over here,
and Ted, you over there?
I’ve read your case notes
which my secretary compiled, from
your previous poems – she’s quite
well-read; indeed, I believe she’s now applied
for a post with Mr. Eliot the poet…
Now I understand you’re both madly in love
and – ahem – can’t wait to ‘get at
one another’ as they say these days …
I guess the ‘Do not Disturb’ notice
may be there for days, ha ha?
but a word of admonition..er.. advice:
although in theory two artists co-habiting
is a great idea in theory – you’ll understand
each others’ situation, help with tax returns,
maybe use the same literary agent –
it’s not all plain sailing: creativity
comes in individual cycles; it’s known
today as ‘biorhythms’; you’re down,
he’s up; he’s down, you’re up
and since you already, Sylvia,
have – harrumph – issues,
these cycles could conflict
quite vigorously; with considerable care
you can make this work
to your advantage; we had marked success
with a previous pair in your situation,
Robert and Elizabeth..
But it will require considerable care,
as I said; and there’s always the chance –
my Hollywood clients face this constantly –
that one of you may find your public fame
outstrips the other – this can be difficult;
I’m treating several well-known couples
for this very problem; Richard and Elizabeth
were frequent visitors here in Belair...
a marriage of two fine creative artists
can become like crows picking at
the flesh and then the bones..
So I hope you don’t mind this little chat;
best wishes, and I suggest
you come and see me again
not too soon – who needs psychiatrists
when they’re in love, ha ha – but
not too late?
My receptionist
will see you out…
this Hollywood practice,
though busy and, ahem, quite lucrative,
brings me much sadness, as my
wives have often commented…
poem by Michael Shepherd
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Lately
Lately i've been feeling
A little bit neglected.
When it comes to your ex-boyfriends,
Well, i guess i'm overprotective.
But it's nothing personal
I just wanted you to tell me that you
Care.
Lately i've been thinking bout'
Stickin' my head in a toaster.
I never asked to take a ride
On this emotional roller-coaster
It's you that i want,
And lately it feels like you're not there.
Lately i've been contemplating
Jumping in the ocean.
Sometimes even spock would show
A little more emotion!
Do you still love me now
As much as you loved me yesterday?
(chorus) i try to let it out...
I bitch, i cry, moan, whine, scream and
Shout today,
But the wall wouldn't listen to me!
Why wouldn't it listen to me?
I'm sick of always cryin'
I don't wanna be sick of trying,
But you've gotta want me too.
Lately i've been hoping for
A little bit of affection.
Sometimes i wish that you had came
With your own set of directions.
I guess it's not that easy,
But i hope that you still love me anyway
Lately i've been thinkin' bout'
Takin' a vow of silence.
I've never seen a monk result
In any acts of violence.
Or, maybe i'll just cry
And hope you come around again today.
(repeat chorus)
song performed by by Ataris
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking.