Yes, I was a parish priest for five years. I was a curate in a large working class parish in Bristol and the Vicar of a village in Kent.
quote by John Polkinghorne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Father Ed
The day of his ordination his widowed mum's happiest day
To Sainthood she said my son is on his way
She raised him on her own when his dad of a heart attack died
Of her only offspring she took so much pride
At sixty eight he died in his sleep with his mum he now lay
At his funeral this morning his Parishioners for his soul did pray
He had been their Parish Priest for more than twenty years
And they did farewell him in sadness and tears
Of their Parish Priests the greatest of all
His sunday sermons on morals and chastity they will long recall
But the saddest one at the funeral was his housekeeper Kate
With head bowed as she sobbed she whispered I have lost my soul-mate
To me he was far more than Parish Priest Father Ed
He was my secret lover and he was damn good in bed.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Oh to be in England...
[The names and some of the details of this report have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved - Ed.]
Yes I'm afraid so.
Mr Smith and Mrs Jones from down the road.
Five years now.
It's Mr Jones I feel sorry for.
Though from what I hear...
But it's Mrs Smith who really miffs me.
We're supposed to be friends, I thought.
Not a word, not a hint, these five years.
I really feel - betrayed.
Of course the men and the women here have a different take on this.
Well you'd expect it, considering.
(My Jack laughed like a drain when he read the details.
Went out early to buy the News of the Screws he calls it.)
I think the bastard's envious.
Not a word, not a hint.
Even the vicar's wife didn't know.
At least Catholics have confession.
Though of course their parish priests don't have wives...
I'm a historian. Was. The village well,
the parish pump, market day, after church, coffee mornings...
'Social cohesion in rural communities'.
I B.A.- ed on it.
Say what you like,
gossip keeps a community together.
Five years.
No, I'm not going round to see her.
I feel - betrayed...
poem by Michael Shepherd
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I wouldn't say the world is my parish, but my readers are my parish. And especially the readers that write to me. They're my parish. And it's a responsibility that I enjoy.
quote by Andrew Greeley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The beadle of the parish is always of the vicar's opinion.
When I Die
when i die, what shame can i have?
do not take the blame, neither all the shame
you may bury my body with dignity
a coffin made of mahogany
with a glass cover and white carnations
all over my body
there will be a make-up of my face
like i am a freshman of
a class A university,
but i pity you for that will be too expensive
to add the parish priest's fees
and the the food and prayers
plus the songs of the choir
and the cost of candles
not to count the wreath
and the drinks
oh, you will be buried in debt and you will have
all the hard earned years to pay,
so, take it easy, it is more for our advantage
that i will not die or you perhaps
but i have no shame
and i take no blame & grrr
i don't care about what people say
if you die
i will make you a coffin of coconut wood
sprinkle your body with flowers from the grass
that i can pick along the goat's paths
i can pray and sing myself
no one eats snacks and i will not invite the parish priest,
hire no choir or buy ready made wreaths
for i know and you know that these will be very expensive
and i have no money or if i have some
i will not spend a cent
for all these no-sense rituals
useless prayers and out-of-tune choirs
so we will take it easy now,
you can't take it? then fake it
let us live and just be ourselves
let us survive all these
or suffer those consequences.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Life of a Roman Catholic Priest
A priest is nearest Christ;
A priest is Christ at times;
A priest is almost Christ;
A priest is most divine.
A priest is God’s shepherd;
A priest must tend to flock;
A priest must be like ‘rock’;
A priest should ne’er defrock.
A priest communes with God;
A priest draws hope from Lord;
A priest shows love of Christ;
A priest carries His Cross!
A priest is tempted too;
A priest has falls in life;
A priest falters also;
A priest has strength from Christ.
A priestly job is tough;
A priest’s life can turn rough;
A priest has strife enough,
But has to smile and laugh!
A priest helps harvest souls;
A priest has many roles;
A priest has but one goal –
To drink from Christ’s own bowl!
Pray that more priests should come;
May priests curb their freedom;
May priest usher Kingdom;
A life for Christ’s welcome.
Fondly dedicated to Rev. Fr. Xavier Claudius,
Beloved Parish priest, ‘Holy Family Church, Perundurai
Copyright by Dr John Celes 25-7-2010
poem by John Celes
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I just wanted to be an ordinary parish priest.
quote by Martin Scorsese
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It is a poor parish where the priest has to ring his own bells.
Doctor Luther's shoes do not fit every parish priest.
Disrespect
A crafty cat crapped in the crypt.
A furtive feline felony,
it left its mark and then it skipped.
The parish priest proclaimed that he
had cause to curse the cunning cat
for sacrilege and blasphemy.
He double damned the dastard cat
that crept into the crypt and crapped.
The theocrat though that was that.
His saintly self-control had snapped.
The phantom feline failed to flee,
the moggy met with no mishap.
The crafty cat quite cleverly
decided it would demonstrate
that it could crap contentedly.
His contempt to communicate
to parish priests. Quite powerless
to declare excommunicate.
Unchristian cats who crap in crypts
or pagan pups, which pee in pews.
They are exempt from his prescript.
All animals act as they choose
they won’t refrain to please the priest
impervious to his abuse.
Such is the nature of the beast
who only do as they must do
. Priests do not matter in the least.
04 Jun.07
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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Everything Is Kiling Me....
As soon as you're born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
There's room at the top they are telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
If you want to be a hero well just follow me
If you want to be a hero well just follow me
poem by Adnan Zahedi
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If you have a priest that is pushing social justice, go find another parish. Go alert your bishop.
quote by Glenn Beck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love Making Inside The Comfort Room
we pretend
that this is the
church
that this is
the favorite
confessional
box of the
priest and
his favorite
concubine
we pretend
i am the parish
priest and you
are the wife
of the mayor
and now you
kneel before
me without
a lace
without
clothes
i preach
you
the
naked
truth.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Working Class Hero
As soon as you're born they make you feel small,
By giving you no time instead of it all,
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all.
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool,
Till you're so f***ing crazy you can't follow their rules.
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear.
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,
And you think you're so clever and classless and free,
But you're still f***ing peasants as far as I can see.
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
There's room at the top they are telling you still,
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,
If you want to be like the folks on the hill.
A working class hero is something to be.
A working class hero is something to be.
If you want to be a hero well just follow me,
If you want to be a hero well just follow me.
song, music by John Lennon, lyrics by John Lennon from John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band (11 December 1970)
Submitted by anonym
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When the poor man is burried, the large bell of the parish is silent.
In Brief - A Lifetime's Work
First a teacher and
A lecturer
In French and in Spanish
In Durham
Then a lecturer
In charge of
Modern Languages
In Harrogate
Thirdly a curate
Also in Harrogate
In charge of nothing
But praying for everyone
Fourthly a roving priest
In Salta, Northern Argentina
Fifthly, a Vicar
Of San Salvador in Buenos Aires
Sixthly a school chaplain
In two different schools
Then a priest in charge
Of two different Churches
Finally, a welcome rest
In retirement in Kenilworth
In a bungalow in a close
In peace and in quietness
poem by James Hart
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The only conclusion you can draw from the real historical movement is that by and large, in day-to-day life, what Lenin called trade union consciousness dominates the working class. I would call it elementary class consciousness of the working class.
quote by Ernest Mandel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The last occasions when the timetable of our lives would be interrupted for many years to come.
quote by Sister Parish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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