Doctor Luther's shoes do not fit every parish priest.
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Dr. Luther's Assistant
Everything seems so tranquil
Home movies with no subtitles
Don't you wish you knew what they were sayin'
When the film keeps playin', playin' ?
Oh, he's doctor luther's assistant
He'll close in when he seems so distant
Doctor luther's assistant
He'll get on top of you when you lower your resistance
Some say he is just a lackey
Changing words while the ink is still tacky
He's absolutely indispensable
He keeps the other boys in suspense
Oh, he's doctor luther's assistant
He'll close in when he seems so distant
Doctor luther's assistant
He'll get on top of you when you lower your resistance
Luther is locked in a broken-down cinema
Watches his wife with his video camera
Sees his best boy makin' her grin
Out of the kitchen, she's gone with the wind
Oh, doctor luther's assistant
He'll close in, when he seems so distant
Doctor luther's assistant
He'll get on top of you when you lower your resistance
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Life of a Roman Catholic Priest
A priest is nearest Christ;
A priest is Christ at times;
A priest is almost Christ;
A priest is most divine.
A priest is God’s shepherd;
A priest must tend to flock;
A priest must be like ‘rock’;
A priest should ne’er defrock.
A priest communes with God;
A priest draws hope from Lord;
A priest shows love of Christ;
A priest carries His Cross!
A priest is tempted too;
A priest has falls in life;
A priest falters also;
A priest has strength from Christ.
A priestly job is tough;
A priest’s life can turn rough;
A priest has strife enough,
But has to smile and laugh!
A priest helps harvest souls;
A priest has many roles;
A priest has but one goal –
To drink from Christ’s own bowl!
Pray that more priests should come;
May priests curb their freedom;
May priest usher Kingdom;
A life for Christ’s welcome.
Fondly dedicated to Rev. Fr. Xavier Claudius,
Beloved Parish priest, ‘Holy Family Church, Perundurai
Copyright by Dr John Celes 25-7-2010
poem by John Celes
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Yes, I was a parish priest for five years. I was a curate in a large working class parish in Bristol and the Vicar of a village in Kent.
quote by John Polkinghorne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Father Ed
The day of his ordination his widowed mum's happiest day
To Sainthood she said my son is on his way
She raised him on her own when his dad of a heart attack died
Of her only offspring she took so much pride
At sixty eight he died in his sleep with his mum he now lay
At his funeral this morning his Parishioners for his soul did pray
He had been their Parish Priest for more than twenty years
And they did farewell him in sadness and tears
Of their Parish Priests the greatest of all
His sunday sermons on morals and chastity they will long recall
But the saddest one at the funeral was his housekeeper Kate
With head bowed as she sobbed she whispered I have lost my soul-mate
To me he was far more than Parish Priest Father Ed
He was my secret lover and he was damn good in bed.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Sailing Shoes
Theres a lady in a turban
In a cocaine tree
And she does a dance so rhythmically
Shes a crying and a singing
Havin a time
But dont that cocaine tree look fine
But you gotta put on your sailin shoes
Put on your sailin shoes
Everyone will start to cheer
When you put on your sailin shoes
Doctor, doctor, I feel so bad
This is the worst day I ever had
Have you this misery a very long time?
Well if you if, Ill lay it on the line
But you gotta put on your sailin shoes
Put on your sailin shoes
Everyone will hip hooray
When you put on your sailin shoes
Jedidah
Hes got a dime
Says he catches more fish every time
Well Ive gotta line
If youve got a pole
Well Ill meet you at the fishing hole
But you gotta put on your sailin shoes
Put on your sailin shoes
Everyone will start to cheer
When you put on your sailin shoes
Said, everyone put on
Put on your sailin shoes
song performed by by Robert Palmer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sailin' Shoes
Theres a lady in a turban
In a cocaine tree
And she does a dance so rhythmically
Shes a crying and a singing
Havin a time
But dont that cocaine tree look fine
But you gotta put on your sailin shoes
Put on your sailin shoes
Everyone will start to cheer
When you put on your sailin shoes
Doctor, doctor, I feel so bad
This is the worst day I ever had
Have you this misery a very long time?
Well if you if, Ill lay it on the line
But you gotta put on your sailin shoes
Put on your sailin shoes
Everyone will hip hooray
When you put on your sailin shoes
Jedidah
Hes got a dime
Says he catches more fish every time
Well Ive gotta line
If youve got a pole
Well Ill meet you at the fishing hole
But you gotta put on your sailin shoes
Put on your sailin shoes
Everyone will start to cheer
When you put on your sailin shoes
Said, everyone put on
Put on your sailin shoes
song performed by by Robert Palmer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Credo
I.
For the sole edification
Of this decent congregation,
Goodly people, by your grant
I will sing a holy chant—
I will sing a holy chant.
If the ditty sound but oddly,
'Twas a father, wise and godly,
Sang it so long ago—
Then sing as Martin Luther sang,
As Doctor Martin Luther sang:
'Who loves not wine, woman and song,
He is a fool his whole life long!'
II.
He, by custom patriarchal,
Loved to see the beaker sparkle;
And he thought the wine improved,
Tasted by the lips he loved—
By the kindly lips he loved.
Friends, I wish this custom pious
Duly were observed by us,
To combine love, song, wine,
And sing as Martin Luther sang,
As Doctor Martin Luther sang:
'Who loves not wine, woman and song,
He is a fool his whole life long!'
III.
Who refuses this our Credo,
And who will not sing as we do,
Were he holy as John Knox,
I'd pronounce him heterodox!
I'd pronounce him heterodox,
And from out this congregation,
With a solemn commination,
Banish quick the heretic,
Who will not sing as Luther sang,
As Doctor Martin Luther sang:
'Who loves not wine, woman and song,
He is a fool his whole life long!'
poem by William Makepeace Thackeray
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Love Making Inside The Comfort Room
we pretend
that this is the
church
that this is
the favorite
confessional
box of the
priest and
his favorite
concubine
we pretend
i am the parish
priest and you
are the wife
of the mayor
and now you
kneel before
me without
a lace
without
clothes
i preach
you
the
naked
truth.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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I just wanted to be an ordinary parish priest.
quote by Martin Scorsese
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Sliver Of Silver
A sliver of silver laying on the dunes of the beach
All of them gathered around it, the horsemen, the doctor and priest
When it's midnight glow sparkled into the air, a commotion began
The greed in their eyes as large as can be, they all crafted their own little plan
'LORD give me strength' the Priest would say everyday
He was a good fundamentalist persecuting the nonbelievers all day
He wanted the riches the silver provided
All to himself, completely undivided
The horsemen, on the other hand, was defiantly overeager
He wanted most of the silver, his quantity to equal meager
But the doctor was crafty and gave him bad meds
And the Priest condemned him while lying on his death bed
The doctor stabbed the priest, but had a good attorney
He convinced everyone he was innocent, even Uncle Ernie
He ran through the streets looking for all the riches
But he ran so fast he began to loose his britches
None of the men ended up with the sliver of silver
The morale of this story is not to chase power
If so, what you'll find is all your wine will turn sour
Chase after your dreams and let your hearts decide
How you will change the whole world wide
poem by Jonathan Ross
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It is a poor parish where the priest has to ring his own bells.
The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Disrespect
A crafty cat crapped in the crypt.
A furtive feline felony,
it left its mark and then it skipped.
The parish priest proclaimed that he
had cause to curse the cunning cat
for sacrilege and blasphemy.
He double damned the dastard cat
that crept into the crypt and crapped.
The theocrat though that was that.
His saintly self-control had snapped.
The phantom feline failed to flee,
the moggy met with no mishap.
The crafty cat quite cleverly
decided it would demonstrate
that it could crap contentedly.
His contempt to communicate
to parish priests. Quite powerless
to declare excommunicate.
Unchristian cats who crap in crypts
or pagan pups, which pee in pews.
They are exempt from his prescript.
All animals act as they choose
they won’t refrain to please the priest
impervious to his abuse.
Such is the nature of the beast
who only do as they must do
. Priests do not matter in the least.
04 Jun.07
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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I wouldn't say the world is my parish, but my readers are my parish. And especially the readers that write to me. They're my parish. And it's a responsibility that I enjoy.
quote by Andrew Greeley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Credo (after the German)
For the sole edification
Of this decent congregation,
Goodly people, by your grant
I will sing a holy chant --
I will sing a holy chant.
If the ditty sound but oddly,
'Twas a father, wise and godly,
Sang it so long ago --
Then sing as Martin Luther sang,
As Doctor Martin Luther sang:
"Who loves not wine, woman and song,
He is a fool his whole life long!"
He, by custom patriarchal,
Loved to see the beaker sparkle;
And he thought the wine improved,
Tasted by the lips he loved --
But the kindly lips he loved.
Friends, I wish this custom pious
Duly were observed by us,
To combine love, song, wine,
And sing as Martin Luther sang,
As Doctor Martin Luther sang:
"Who loves not wine, woman, and song,
He is a fool his whole life long!"
poem by William Makepeace Thackeray
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If you have a priest that is pushing social justice, go find another parish. Go alert your bishop.
quote by Glenn Beck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor’s Day,2010
Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!
Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.
Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.
Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010
poem by John Celes
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