Related quotes: With Congress, every time they...

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.

quote by Will Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes

Lies

Baby
What do I do
Playing my tune for you
Just to get you in the mood
Everybodys going to hollywood
Youre driving me mad
But Im smiling to the crowd instead
A lot of money is at stake, this is a hit and thats a fake
This is what you mean to me
This is what they all should see
Make a make up in a foolish style
Telling the truth by making a big lie
When I come, I come but nothings at ease
Breaking up the whole is a modern disease
Maybe you think tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
My love
Everythings an interview
And nothings really new
And everybodys looking for clues and you know what to do with a clue
My love
Get ready for the show
Theyre waiting and they will never go
This night is just a go
And its only for show
Dig that deal and be a millionaire
Drinking cocktails in the stratosphere
Getting jetlagged with my business friends in these supersonic wonderlands
Theres a flicker on the graphic display, first hes smiling then hes fading away
Maybe he thinks tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
Gold/1984

song performed by by Alphaville
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A joke

joke are

boor..

some time

haaa...

joke make

lough...

some

nasty...

poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It Is A Joke

it is a joke
and it will always be
a joke

that how it is,
it is a joke, my own joke, and i laugh
when i remember it,

i send it to you and you send it back
like a ping-pong ball
it bounces and i see it coming
back to me

it hits me right in my eyes
got double vision, cross-eyed

i am hurt. It is not a joke anymore.
it is here beside
a tear, a bruise, stained and scarred.

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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911 Is A Joke

Now I dialed nine one one a long time ago
Dont you see how late theyre reactin
They only come, and they come when they wanna
So get the morgue truck em back the goner
They dont care cause they stay paid anyway
They treat you like an ace that cant be betrayed
I know you stumble with no use people
If your life is on the line, then youre dead today
Late comings with the late comin stretcher -
Thats a body bag in disguise - yall Ill betcha
I call em body snatchers
Quick they come to fetch you -
With an autopsy ambulance just to dissect ya
They are the kings cos they swing amputation
Lose your arms your legs the famous compilation
I can prove it to you watch the rotation
It all adds up to a funky situation
Get up, get get down
911 is a joke in yo town
Get up, get get down
Late 911 wears the late crown
(chorus)
(ow)
911 is a joke , 911 is a joke
Everyday they dont never come correct
You can ask my man right here with the broken neck
Hes a witness to the job never bein done
He wouldve been in full effect , 911
Is a joke because their always jokin
They the token to your life when its croakin
They need to be in a pawn shop on a 911 -
Is a joke we dont want em
I call a cab cause a cab will come quicker
The doctors huddle up and call a flea flicker
The reason that I say that cause they
Flick you off like fleas
They be laughin at ya while youre crawlin on our knees
And to the strength, so go the length
Thinkin you are first when you really are tenth
You better wake up and smell the real flavor
Cause 911 is a fake life saver
(chorus) (chorus)
Ow, ow 911 is a joke
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke.
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke
(get up, get get down)
Ooooh, yeahh

song performed by by Duran Duran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Winter Of '95

do you remember when we
used to talk on the phone for hours,
or just kill time by
counting stars before we went to sleep?
do you still think I'm funny?
do you... still think I am?
well, at least to one of us.(x2)
sometimes I get a little out of hand.
I've made so many friends, so many plans,
a million people and too much time
that I don't have.
the joke's on you... I don't understand myself.
the joke's on you... I meant it the whole time.

song performed by by New Found Glory
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nobody Spoke (for Karen)

Nobody spoke to Lucy,
nobody spoke at all,
ain't no joke
nobody spoke.
nobody spoke
for five long years
ain't no joke
nobody spoke.

Lucy withdrew
without a clue
why nobody spoke,
nobody spoke
for five long years,
nobody spoke
Ain't no joke
nobody spoke!

Lucy went mad
she went crazy!
She screamed
she cried, she sobbed,
but nobody spoke,
for five long years
Ain't no joke
nobody spoke.

Many years later
she saw them,
those people she wanted
to be her friends.
but ain't no joke
nobody spoke,
nobody spoke
for five long years.
Ain't no joke
nobody spoke.

Lucy left a note
in daddy's drawer,
put on her very best dress.
Did her hair in a very fine way
and walked into the hall as a guest.
She walked up to the folk
that never spoke,
said hello in an ordinary way,
then she pulled out a gun
and opened fire.
Yes she shot all those folk
on that day.

Now they were silent
now they were still,
cos ain't no joke
that nobody spoke
and now
they never will.

poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sentence of All

Hunt a sentence this day to the next,
One can not find a finer one
Than the very joke I have reasoned with.
What is this joke? What is that joke?
I can not see anyone with flowers,
But I see everyone with words
And they differ: ever so much.
A sentence such as this is enough
And what is this humorous one?
It is the very subject and predicate of our souls -
“Sentences are written not said.”

poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Joke's On Me

The old days were no fun
Im not sorry that they're gone
I don't miss them and I won't miss them
and it was always wrong
Everything I've ever done
From the beginning and to the ending
and things never got better, it seems like forever
Since we had fun or maybe I never have fun
And this whole time! I've been around
One minute up!
and a hundred down uhhh ohhh
Keep on laughing, Keep attacking
I'll show you what it means
To keep on lying, Keep denying
That there's nothing good in me
I'm not worthless, I know you heard this
My life's a joke and the joke's on me
The joke's on me
You were always lame, a headache and a pain
I don't miss you and I won't miss you
I tried not to get bitter but I was such a quitter
Oh yeah I had dreams but they were only ever bad dreams
And this whole time! I've been around
One minute up!
and a hundred down uhhh ohhh
Keep on laughing, Keep attacking
I'll show you what it means
To keep on lying, Keep denying
That there's nothing good in me
I'm not worthless, I know you heard this
My life's a joke and the joke's on me
The joke's on me, The joke's on me...
Well there never were any good old days
Looking back I'm still amazed
How everything went wrong in every way
There were no good old days
Well there never were any good old days
Looking back I'm still amazed
That everything went wrong in every way
There were no good old days
[2x]
And this whole time! I've been around
One minute up!
and a hundred down uhhh ohhh
Keep on laughing, Keep attacking
I'll show you what it means
To keep on lying, Keep denying
That there's nothing good in me
I'm not worthless, I know you heard this
My life's a joke and the joke's on me...

song performed by by Reel Big Fish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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(I Remember) When Suicide Was Just a Joke

Do you know what I’d give
What I got, what I’d give to go back?
Do you know that I’d give
Up my life just as easy as anything?
And we pass and your voice
Like a death grip on my heart attack
It’s so superficial
Such a f**king w***e don’t care about anything

[Chorus]
Hate is a word that describes what this
In a hall emptied up I’m a name on a list
Of a laundry bag filled with glass I punch with my fist
I remember
When suicide was just a joke

I believed what you said
You believed that I’d always be clean
A fresh slate of my arms
Couldn’t take the days that I hurt for you
Maybe if you weren’t so cruel
I wouldn’t ‘ve had to feel the pain
And if you weren’t so good lookin’
Maybe I wouldn’t want to die

[Chorus]
When suicide was just a joke [X2]

Well everybody knows you’re the one to call
When the girls get ugly on the back of the wall
You’re a polysaccharidal leaching germ to my brain
The camera sees the one thing leaving

Do you know what it is
To make stop dropp offs of misery?
And when I tell you I feel
Do you know that I’d really rather go?
A mixed media chart
Tracing cold hard lies of my history
Yes I scream in the night
Because of you, I’ve never felt so low

[Chorus]

When suicide was just a joke
(I remember)
When suicide was just a joke
(I remember)
When suicide was just a joke
[Spoken: This life was so funny]
When suicide was just a joke
[Take back your f**king things]
When suicide was just a joke
[I remember all your lies]
When suicide was just a joke

(fade out)

poem by Christopher's Dead
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Killing Joke

People shoutin nigger
Well its time to draw a truce
Exxons dumpin oil
Probably goin for that deuce
A baby boy of eighteen
Gets his license to kill
Mother in the ghetto
Sells pills to pay her bills
Here comes the punchline
Its a killin joke
Welcome to you future
I leave you with no hope
Ah ah ah
Ah ah ah
Ah ah ah
Its a killin joke
Bastards bent on genocide
Well happy happy day
Kids killin cops make
The weak begin to prey
Demon voice of evil
In the church and here to stay
And god
I really have no faith
(chorus)

song performed by by 58
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Too Late To Try

I don't want to die
Even though I have to
I just want to live a long, long time
And I see the gang to which I belong
Time to sing out our happy song
Wouldn't it be a cruel joke
If it's too late to try? Why?
I don't wanna grow
Even if it's good growth
I just wanna stay just like this
And I see the comfortable place to rest
Time to get this $^@! off my chest
Wouldn't it be a cruel joke
If it's too late to try? Why

song performed by by Weezer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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That Joke to Some

That joke told and thought funny by some...
No longer brings with it smirks.
Or the half smiles on faces.
A seriousness upon them lurks.
And they wonder...
From where the echoed laughter comes,
Surrounding their startled hearts.
The sound of it frightens.
And unfamiliar to anyone!
Has something once done to undermine...
Discovered it was them all this time?
Finding it a thrill to haunt their minds,
This time.

Someone amongst them has elected to stun!
Someone victimized by their tactics...
And missed with them to have their fun.
And that joke told and thought once funny by some?
Seems to now only satisify just one...
Who masquerades in a vengeance of delight.
Knowing their misdeeds done then...
Keeps them in cold sweats in taunted sleepless nights.
Fearing 'what' or 'who' has found whatever they did offensive.
They have forgotten which joke had been told.
And which 'fool' they picked...
They believed then had been defenseless!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.

quote by John Krasinski
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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How To Make You Funny?

How to make you funny?
And you are always funny,
You hide it and
It is still funny,
And that makes me laugh.

How to make you serious?
And you can not be serious,
Funny is funny,
And being seriously funny is not that funny,
And you laugh.

How to tell you a joke?
And you are the funniest joke
That makes you more funny and serious
While you are drinking and thinking
At the risk
Of spilling the juice of your lips
At my laugh.

poem by Atef Ayadi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Damned

Don't smoke don't fight don't light no cigarettes
Or else you'll wind up in the can
No jokes no rights sit tight don't fool around
You are a guest of Uncle Sam
Stand up look right don't slouch and stand at ease
Allow no sex above the knees
When I snap you jump into the master plan
I'll be damned
Well I'll be damned

I'll be damned if I drink or smoke
Damned if I steal your joke
I'll be damned if I go for broke
Damned if I do
Damned if I don't

Don't talk don't fool don't try to mess around
I'll make a monkey outta you
You sign your name right on that dotted line boy
I'll be damned

I'll be damned if I drink or smoke
Damned if I steal your joke
I'll be damned if I go for broke
Damned if I do
And damned if I don't

I'll be damned if I drink or smoke
Damned if I steal your joke
I'll be damned if I go for broke
I'm damned if I do
I'm damned if I don't

I'll be damned (6x)

song performed by by AC/DC from Stiff Upper Lip
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Mockery

Sometimes I laugh—what else can a man do
Who does not know ? This little ego here
Braving the void, this fleck upon the blue,
This filmy wing sounding the starry sphere—
What bold abysmal incongruity,
What joke of the gods to make a mock of me !

I hear you sing, and wonder how you dare.
Too fine for song they are—the tint of the rose,
The touch of a child, love's beauty and despair,
All the sad furtive exquisiteness that blows,
Like scent of gardens I may never see,
Across my sense to make a mock of me.

That I, this atom infinitesimal,
This chance-blown seed of flesh and fire, that I
Should front the dread immensity, the all,
Shocking the silence with my futile cry—
What dark inscrutable absurdity,
What joke of the gods to make a mock of me!

poem by Harriet Monroe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hello And Goodbye

So long my friend, don't say goodbye
Just give me one last kiss beneath this glowing sky.
We'll go walking through the park
And hang out in the rain.
Tell a joke and watch me smile
As we drink away the day.
And know the next time that you
Make a wish upon a star
I'll be wishing on the same one that you do
And every night i'm all alone
In some burn out highway town
I'll be thinking of the day that i met you.
Hello again, it's been to long.
What happened to our love
Since the last time i was gone?
I detach myself again
And lose something everytime.
The solutions in the problem
Temporarily alright.
And know the next time that you
Make a wish upon a star
That sometimes it might actually come true.
Our conversation can't consist of hello and goodbye
And the silence between saying i love you.
And sometimes i wonder 'bout that too.

song performed by by Ataris
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hello & Goodbye

So long my friend, dont say goodbye
Just give me one last kiss beneath this glowing sky.
Well go walking through the park
And hang out in the rain.
Tell a joke and watch me smile
As we drink away the day.
And know the next time that you
Make a wish upon a star
Ill be wishing on the same one that you do
And every night Im all alone
In some burn out highway town
Ill be thinking of the day that I met you.
Hello again, its been to long.
What happened to our love
Since the last time I was gone?
I detach myself again
And lose something everytime.
The solutions in the problem
Temporarily alright.
And know the next time that you
Make a wish upon a star
That sometimes it might actually come true.
Our conversation cant consist of hello and goodbye
And the silence between saying I love you.
And sometimes I wonder bout that too.