We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.
quote by Mel Brooks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
Sam Brown in Washington Post (1977)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I Offend, So Be It
If I offend...
So be it!
I am not here,
To be the 'next' James Baldwin.
Or follow in the footsteps,
Of Langston Hughes.
The shoes I wear are quite comfortable.
And the path I walk upon,
Has not already been paved.
That is the task that has be laid before me.
To do that myself!
If I offend...
So be it!
I am not living my life intending to be anyone else,
Than who I am.
I am the first Lawrence S. Pertillar.
And make no mistake about it...
I will be acknowledged,
For the life I've lived.
If I offend...
So be it!
I just know who it is I am.
And I am not who I am because I seek to get paid for it!
Like most folks lost and deluded,
By the meaning of 'identity'.
I've been blessed and I am grateful...
To have a dignity as well.
And 'if' I offend...
So be it!
There's so many others,
Who have minds associated with making a quick buck.
And people like that...
Are indoctrinated with corrupted agendas!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
The masses demand a fighting President, and that means you've got to offend somebody, because the way I see it, a strong offense is the best attack. So what can you offend? That's an easy one. Offend the other candidates, because they'll be too busy talking to hear you, and besides, they might not vote for you anyway.
quote by Gracie Allen
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Laughing
I'm laughing at your funny face
I'm laughing at this funny place
I'm laughing in my space
I'm laughing at a fast pace
I'm laughing and cannot stop
I'm laughing feeling the bop
I'm laughing at your top
I'm laughing with a cop
My stomach hurts
My cheeks are sore
Yet I want to laugh some more
Just want to laugh day and night
Want to laugh 'cause it feels alright
I'm laughing with Pat
I'm laughing at the cat
I'm laughing at the mat
I'm laughing as the cat sat
Giggle, Giggle, Giggle
Giggle, Giggle, Giggle
Giggle, Giggle.
©Copyright 2010 Willmington. All rights reserved
poem by Somniator Moon
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Everybodys Laughing
Sammy lerner / ben oakland
Everybodys laughing
Yes everybodys laughing
They know that you and I are through
And everybodys laughing
I told the world you loved me
And bragged about it proudly
But since they know its over
Theyre laughing at me loudly.
People love to linger
So they can point a finger
And tear apart a gal whose heart
Was taken through the wringer
It we could start all over
The laugh might be on them
But meanwhile
Everybodys laughing
It we could start all over
The laugh might be on them
But meanwhile
Everybodys laughing
song performed by by Billie Holiday
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let Me Help You Mend
Come in...
To my world.
And end,
All defenses begun...
Within you that go on,
To offend.
Come in...
To my world.
And end,
All defenses begun...
Within you that go on,
To offend.
Unlock your hold on troubles,
You keep deep...
To repeat.
Release them from yourself,
And you'll be free...
To visit me.
Come in...
To my world.
And end,
All defenses begun...
Within you that go on,
To offend.
Come in...
To my world.
And end,
All defenses begun...
Within you that go on,
To offend.
Let me,
Help you mend...
And now!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Offend In Every Way
I'm patient of this plan,
As humble as I can.
I'll wait another day,
Before I turn away.
But know this much is true,
No matter what I do,
Offend in every way,
I don't know what to say.
I'm commin through the door,
But they're expecting more,
Of an interesting man.
Sometimes I think I can,
But how much can I fake?
I'll speak until I break,
With every word I say,
Offend in every way.
You tell me to relax,
and listen to these facts.
That everyone's my friend,
And will be till the end.
But know this much is true,
No matter what I do,
No matter what I say,
Offend in every way.
song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Offended In Every Way
Im patient of this plan
as humble as I can
Ill wait another day
before I turn awaya
but know this much is true
no matter what I do
offend in every way
I dont know what to say
You tell me to relax
and listen to these facts
that everyones my friend
and will be till the end
but know this much is true
no matter what I do
no matter what I say
offend in every way
Im walking through the door
but theyre expecting more
of an interesting man
and sometimes I think I can
but how much can I fake
Ill speak until I break
with every word I say
offend in every way
song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Angry Hills
heaven it shines in the dawn's early light
in a movement out in the brush
far out!
watering graves of the people who read in the book
of forbidden content
tragedy!
in a gentle way hear the angry hills
in a gentle way hear them laughing
imagination under attack for the
pictures I can't even think
i don't even know them
in a gentle way hear the angry hills
in a gentle way hear them laughing
in a gentle way
in a gentle way hear the angry hills
in a gentle way i am laughing
yes i am laughing
i am laughing
yes i am laughing
song performed by by Iggy Pop
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Everybody Loves Me, Baby
Everybody Loves Me Baby
Don McLean
From his "American Pie" LP
This song was not released as a single
: One, two, three, four!
Fortune has me well in hand, armies 'wait my command
My gold lies in a foreign land buried deep beneath the sand
The angels guide my ev'ry prayer, my enemies are sick or dead
But all the victories I've led haven't brought you to my bed
CHORUS:
You see, everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won'tcha tell me what did I do to offend you?
Now the purest race I've bred to be to live in my democracy
And the highest human pedigree awaits the first-born boy baby
And my face on ev'ry coin engraved, the anarchists are all enslaved
My own flag is forever waved by the grateful people I have saved
CHORUS:
You see, everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won'tcha tell me what did I do to offend you?
Now, no man is beyond my claim when land is seized in the people's name
By evil men who rob and maim, if war is hell, I'm not to blame!
Why, you can't blame me, I'm Heaven's child, I'm the second son of Mary mild
And I'm twice removed from Oscar Wilde, but he didn't mind, why, he just smiled
Yes, and the ocean parts when I walk through, and the clouds dissolve and the sky turns blue
I'm held in very great value by everyone I meet but you
'cause I've used my talents as I could, I've done some bad, I've done some good
I did a whole lot better than they thought I would so, c'mon and treat me like you should!
Because everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won'tcha tell me what did I do to offend you?
Everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won'tcha tell me what did I do to offend you?
Yeah, everybody loves me, baby, what's the matter with you?
Won'tcha tell me what did I do to offend you?
song performed by by Don McLean
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Laughing Boy
Laughing boy keep movin
Keep movin, keep movin
Laughing boy keep movin
Keep movin, keep movin
Find a clown and grind him down
He may just be laughing at you
An unprincipled and uncommitted
Clown can hardly be permitted to
Sit around and laugh at what
The decent people try to do
Laughing boy keep movin
Keep movin, keep movin
Laughing boy keep movin
Keep movin, keep movin
song performed by by Randy Newman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hmph...People
Leave me alone.
'Okay,
I will.'
I'm not talking to you.
'I see.
Then...
Who ARE you talking to? '
No one in particular.
It has been a while since I've said it.
And it is refreshing to know,
You weren't offended at all.
I remember the days,
My saying that would upset you.
'Why should I feel offended?
Or upset.
I was hoping you weren't going to ask me,
Where I am going? '
What?
Where are you going?
'That's none of your business.
And I'm hoping that doesn't offend.
Now you can practice not getting upset.'
Upset?
Why should I get upset?
You're trying to get me upset.
And I'm not a child.
You can do whatever you want.
Who cares?
I don't.
Upset?
Why should I get upset?
You're trying to get me upset.
You can do whatever you want.
Who cares?
I don't.
And what are you laughing about?
'I was only teasing.
I'm not going anywhere.'
Oh yes you are!
You're going to leave me alone.
'Okay,
I will.'
People!
They will do anything to get on your nerves.
Upset?
As if I was that easily provoked!
Hmph...people!
'I heard that.'
Who cares!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Sonnet: Lost & Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed with emotions, sobs with no tears
Can’t understand where to go from here
Confused I am in every aspect of life
Lost with no map, dark with no light
Alone in the world but surrounded by people
Screaming in silence fearing the evil
I hold on to hope but I am losing my grip
Hung over with life and still taking a sip
I am lost in this life and tomorrow will be worse
I don’t know what to do, I am lost I am cursed
Lost in my thoughts solving the puzzle
Lost in myself while holding the muzzle
Laughing, smiling, happy for now trying not to offend
I don’t know where to go from here I'm at the very end
poem by Ramon Escamilla
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I remember certain people in the audience laughing and I wanted to ask: 'What are you laughing at? This isn't funny.' Now I realize that laughter can come from insecurity. They don't know how they should be feeling.
Shopping at the Mall
People! Me, looking at People.
People, looking at me.
Old people, trying to look young.
Young people, trying to look old.
Walking, talking, laughing people.
fuzzy, frowsy, sober people.
tipsy, tip-toesy, striding people.
people's people.
Walking in protective units
of sobriety and gaiety,
merriment, wonder, and awe.
All kinds of people.
My people
poem by Joyce Williams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Clean
Today, everything was fine fine fine
Until roundabout quarter to 9, suddenly I found myself in a bind, a bind
Was it something I said
Something I read
And manifest thats getting you down
Dont you dare come to bed with that ambiguous look in your eye
Id sooner sleep by an open fire and wake up fried
Say what u will
Say what u mean
No, you could never offend
Your dirty words come out clean, clean
Tomorrow, what price will I pay
Could I make it all up to you by serving coffee for two in bed, would you then give me
The time of day
I need a map of your head, translated into english so I can learn to not make you frown
Feel better if you vent, put your frustrations into four letter words and let them out on
Mine
The most weathered ears in town!
Say what u will
Say what u mean
No, you could never offend
Your dirty words come out clean
Clean (x6)
Say what u will
Say what u mean
No, you could never offend
Your dirt words come out clean
Say what u will
Say what u mean
No, you could never offend
Your dirty words come out clean, clean
song performed by by Incubus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If By Chance Your Eye Offend You
If by chance your eye offend you,
Pluck it out, lad, and be sound:
'Twill hurt, but here are salves to friend you,
And many a balsam grows on ground.
And if your hand or foot offend you,
Cut it off, lad, and be whole;
But play the man, stand up and end you,
When your sickness is your soul.
poem by Alfred Edward Housman
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Art should offend people because art should challenge people.
quote by Eriq La Salle
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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People are going to say what they say. I know sometimes I say things; I offend people.
quote by Mike Tyson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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