Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
quote by Mitch Hedberg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Hippopotamus
Behold the hippopotamus!
We laugh at how he looks to us,
And yet in moments dank and grim,
I wonder how we look to him.
Peace, peace, thou hippopotamus!
We really look all right to us,
As you no doubt delight the eye
Of other hippopotami.
poem by Ogden Nash
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I Had a Hippopotamus
I had a Hippopotamus, I kept him in a shed
And fed him upon vitamins and vegetable bread
I made him my companion on many cheery walks
And had his portrait done by a celebrity in chalk
His charming eccentricities were known on every side
The creatures' popularity was wonderfully wide
He frolocked with the Rector in a dozen friendly tussles
Who could not but remark on his hippopotamuscles
If he should be affected by depression or the dumps
By hippopotameasles or the hippopotamumps
I never knew a particle of peace 'till it was plain
He was hippopotamasticating properly again
I had a Hippopotamus, I loved him as a friend
But beautiful relationships are bound to have an end
Time takes alas! our joys from us and rids us of our blisses
My hippopotamus turned out to be a hippopotamisses
My house keeper regarded him with jaundice in her eye
She did not want a colony of hippotami
She borrowed a machine gun from from her soldier nephew, Percy
And showed my hippopotamus no hippopotamercy
My house now lacks that glamour that the charming creature gave
The garage where I kept him is now as silent as the grave
No longer he displays among the motor tyres and spanners
His hippopomastery of hippopotamanners
No longer now he gambols in the orchards in the spring
No longer do I lead him through the village on a string
No longer in the morning does the neighbourhood rejoice
To his hippopotamusically-meditated voice
I had a hippopotamus but nothing upon earth
Is constant in its happines or lasting in its mirth
No joy that life can give me can be strong enough to smother
My sorrow for that might-have-been-a-hippopota-mother
poem by Patrick Barrington
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Mouths Of Hippopotami And Some Recent Novels
(with apologies to Frederic Taber Cooper)
I well recall (and who does not)
The circus bill-board hippopotamus,
whose wide distended jaws
For fear and terror were good cause.
That month, that vasty carmine cave,
Could munch with ease a Nubian slave;
In fact, the bill-board hippopot-
amus could bolt a house and lot!
Wide opened, that tremendous mouth
Obscured three-quarters of the south
Side of Schmidt’s barn, and promised me
Thrills, shocks, delights and ecstasy.
And then, alas! what sad non plus
The living hippopotamus!
’Twas but a stupid, sodden lump
As thrilling as an old elm stump.
Its mouth—unreasonably small—
The hippo opened not at all,
Or, if it did, it was about
As thrilling as a teapot spout.
The Crimson Junk, by Doris Watt,
I’ve read it. Who, I pray, has not?
Bill Wastel, by C. Marrow. The
Plaid Cowslip. And The Hocking Lee.
The Fallow Field, by Sally Loo;
The Rose in Chains. I’ve read that too;
I’ve read them all for promised treat
Of thrills, emotions, tremblings sweet.
The bill-board hippopotamus
It was a wild, uprageous cuss—
The real one? Well—Can you recall
That it had any mouth at all?
poem by Ellis Parker Butler
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Where there is a hippopotamus, be careful when passing with a pirogue.
There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud.
quote by Carl Sandburg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Hippopotamus
I shoot the Hippopotamus
With bullets made of platinum,
Because if I use leaden ones
His hide is sure to flatten 'em.
poem by Hilaire Belloc
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Time is of the essence for Friend Thad
Herbert the hippopotamus
was feeling rather amorous
The female hippopotami
avoided Herbies roving eye.
They politely gave their reason
This is not the mating season.
Although he sang his best love song
the ladies would not go along.
So Herbie had to go without
of this the ladies had no doubt.
They told him firmly that he should
go cool his ardour in the mud.
Then come back when the time is right
to satisfy his appetite.
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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There is no need to worry about mere size. We do not necessarily respect a fat man more than a thin man. Sir Isaac Newton was very much smaller than a hippopotamus, but we do not on that account value him less.
quote by Bertrand Russell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's Too Late To Drive Into Town....
for that giant chocolate covered marshmallow bunny/pumpkin/
seahorse/racehorse/polar bear/hippopotamus/brontosaurus..............
poem by that's how I intended to ... delilah contrapunctal
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If you kill a little hippopotamus, you also kill his mother.
I found in one of the tombs an inscription saying, 'If you touch my tomb, you will be eaten by a crocodile and hippopotamus.' It doesn't mean the hippo will eat you, it means the person really wanted his tomb to be protected.
quote by Zahi Hawass
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I have seen the hippopotamus, both asleep and awake; and I can assure you that, awake or asleep, he is the ugliest of the works of God.
quote by Thomas Babington Macaulay (1850)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Recipe For A Hippopotamus Sandwich
A hippo sandwich is easy to make.
All you do is simply take
One slice of bread,
One slice of cake,
Some mayonnaise
One onion ring,
One hippopotamus
One piece of string,
A dash of pepper -
That ought to do it.
And now comes the problem…
Biting into it!
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Arhin
My Fant name is Arhin and i come from Takoradi,
But i am now forgotten inbetween your love;
My love to you was like the hippopotamus in the river,
But my muse to you was like 'Louis XVI'!
So do visit me in Takoradi and let me take you round like,
A tourist on this love with many windows.
My care to you is like Jomo Kenyatta of Kenya and,
I will show you what it is to be a Fante;
For the love of this muse is my way of life too.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Sleeping
Sleeping daffodils
Drooping lotus
Laughing hyena
Hungry hippopotamus
All of them boarded on a boat
To cross the stream of sorrow
The ferryman was Father Gonzalo
It never reached the other shore
So they were drowned in the waves of tears
So they were swallowed by the waves of fears
And they were born in the womb of leaden eyed despair
And they were born in to the world of Disney land fair
poem by Dr. Ramesh Chandra Mukhopadhyaya
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We Are A People Of Peace
Sir?
There is an elderly woman,
Carrying what appears to be roses...
On the battlefield.
'That's preposterous.'
No sir?
It is not a rhinoceros.
'I said preposterous.
Like a hippopotamus.'
Sir...
What we see is not anonymous.
We all see it is a woman.
What shall we do with the roses?
Sir?
Sir?
'I'm not getting paid enough.'
Sir?
Will you make a decision.
That's all we ask.
'I would love to tell you where to put them? '
We are closing in on a nearby town.
We could ask if the woman would like us,
To locate a vase?
This will prove to everyone,
We are a people of peace.
'What is going on?
WHAT IS GOING ON?
Has EVERYONE gone mad? '
No sir.
We all are very calm.
It is a little hot.
You are the only one shouting.
Maybe the heat is beginning to affect you?
Perhaps you've been on too many missions of peace?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A Donkey In Milwaukee
I've spent too many nights,
Wondering who I am.
And why am I not a termite,
A rabbit or a bear.
Could I be a tree delusioned?
Or a hippopotamus,
Hypnotized.
I'm told I walk as if,
I waddle like a duck...
With pride.
Oh my!
Oh!
I've spent too many nights,
Wondering who I am.
And why am I not a termite,
A rabbit or a bear.
And 'if' my parents weren't who they were...
Would I be,
Here?
Or...
Would I be a monkey,
In despair!
Or...
A donkey in Milwaukee,
Without...
A care!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A Cat And Mouse tale
My young niece asked me
what animal would I like to be?
would I be a great big Polar Bear
or a Dolphin swimming in the sea?
How about being a Camel in the desert
or buzz about like a busy busy bee
then again I may want to live in a jungle
be a monkey swinging from tree to tree?
She said she really loves amphibians
so she'd be a toad or a giant Bullfrog
or an animal that likes to roll around in mud
like a Hippopotamus or a Warthog.
But in the end she changed her mind
as she decided she'd want to be a mouse
so in that case I replied to her
I'll be a big cat and chase you round your house!
poem by Kevin Halls
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