
God is definitely out of the closet.
quote by Marianne Williamson

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skeletons In The Closet
Woah-oh, woah-oh
Skeletons in my closet
Woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons in my shoes
Skeletons I can only see
I said woah-oh, woah-oh
I got skeletons in my closet
I said woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Skeletons I can lose
Skeletons in my basement
Loitering on my streets
Wearing my best pajamas
Sandwiched between my sheets
I said woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
I said woah-oh, woah-oh yeah
Skeletons in my closet
Ooh, I see bones
I see bones, icy bones
Ooh, I see bones
Say say bones - say boys don't you see them bones?
Rattle them bones at midnight
Shaking my bed, no sleep
I find fingers in my coat pocket
Skeletons from the deep
I said woah-oh, woah-oh
I got skeletons in my closet
I said woah-oh, woah woah-oh
I got skeletons in my closet
Ooh, I see bones
I see bones, s-see bones
Ooh, I see bones
I see bones
Say boys don't you see them bones?
No?
Heart bones, leg bones, ankle bones, arm bones,
finger bones, dogie bones, head bones
Skeletons in my closet
They even know when I'm in my closet
It's my.. my closet
Not your closet
My closet
You can have it though
Alice we want you
Alice
Alice
A-Alice
What?
Whaddya want
song performed by by Alice Cooper

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skeletons
(ian hunter/darrel bath/honest john plain)
(transcribed by adrian perkins; corrections by colin ford)
Bimbo, flirts, sluts in skirts - muscles brightly glisten
Conversation's full of filth - let's all have a listen
Oh dear oh dear we live in fear
Media bulbs a poppin'
If you're bent, they're on your scent
There can be no stoppin'
Peroxide blondes, vagabonds, into 'eavy metal
Your hair looks like its been done by a dyke with a score to settle
Mud needs raking, photos taken of your murky past
Haunts you, taunts you, love it don't you
Hey hey the gang's all here
Pimps 'n' pervs, straights 'n' queers
Enquiring minds want to sneer at the skeletons in your closet
Sunday morning in the park,
Down the pub or in the bath
We'll all have a good old laugh
At the skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
It's bloody marvellous - innit?
It's bloody marvellous - innit?
Juicy bits, saucy snips, there's gold in them there gutters
Blue rinse mob on the job, curtains all a-flutter
It's cheapo culture, bleeding ulcers, burnt out by the score
Lurid tales never fails to shock you to the core
Kinky boots 'n' rubbber suits,
It's all going on next door!
Caught you, taught you, love it don't you
If you've had your face re-done
If you spank your girlfriend's bum
We can all join in the fun
At the skeletons in your closet
What's the world coming to?
Ain't we got nothin' better to do?
To spend all day sifting through
The skeletons in your closet
Hey hey the gang's all here
Pimps 'n' pervs, straights 'n' queers
Enquiring minds want to sneer
At the skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
song performed by by Ian Hunter

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skeletons (In Your Closet)
(ian hunter/darrel bath/honest john plain)
(transcribed by adrian perkins; corrections by colin ford)
Bimbo, flirts, sluts in skirts - muscles brightly glisten
Conversations full of filth - lets all have a listen
Oh dear oh dear we live in fear
Media bulbs a poppin
If youre bent, theyre on your scent
There can be no stoppin
Peroxide blondes, vagabonds, into eavy metal
Your hair looks like its been done by a dyke with a score to settle
Mud needs raking, photos taken of your murky past
Haunts you, taunts you, love it dont you
Hey hey the gangs all here
Pimps n pervs, straights n queers
Enquiring minds want to sneer at the skeletons in your closet
Sunday morning in the park,
Down the pub or in the bath
Well all have a good old laugh
At the skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Its bloody marvellous - innit?
Its bloody marvellous - innit?
Juicy bits, saucy snips, theres gold in them there gutters
Blue rinse mob on the job, curtains all a-flutter
Its cheapo culture, bleeding ulcers, burnt out by the score
Lurid tales never fails to shock you to the core
Kinky boots n rubbber suits,
Its all going on next door!
Caught you, taught you, love it dont you
If youve had your face re-done
If you spank your girlfriends bum
We can all join in the fun
At the skeletons in your closet
Whats the world coming to?
Aint we got nothin better to do?
To spend all day sifting through
The skeletons in your closet
Hey hey the gangs all here
Pimps n pervs, straights n queers
Enquiring minds want to sneer
At the skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
Skeletons in your, skeletons in your, skeletons in your closet
song performed by by Ian Hunter

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love-letting
'Woman places corpse of husband in closet.
Linah B-,64, said her husband died
In October 31 in either 1977 or 1978 and she
Put him in a closet because she
Couldn't pay for a proper burial...'
Might've been a good case
For Perry Mason if foul play
Had been suspected, but
The authorities got to the bottom
Of the matter when they
Got the call from the workmen
Painting the house.
Seems there was a little more than
Plaster-of-Paris on a closet floor
Than the woman let on.
One might wonder at the woman's stead
To bear the dead crime,
'No, J- is not home today, '
No one the wiser what lay
In the closet's keep.
It'll probably be the 'in' thing now-
Home Burial.
Little women will squirrel
Their loved ones away-
Where the dead never leave the house.
poem by Edward Steinhardt

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Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White
Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams
Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means
First Im goin shoppin in my underwear
Then all of sudden Im floating in mid air
My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare
Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere
Now doctor, wait a minute, you aint heard nothin yet
Next comes the part that I wont ever forget
Now Im bein followed by these russian spies
They give me some velcro, and an order of fries
Suddenly Im bowling on the starship enterprise
I fall down a hole and thats when I realize
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
All right!
Doctor, wont you tell me, am I going insane
Was it something I ate or something wrong with my brain
See, Im naked in church when I meet a dinosaur
Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor
Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door
And Im back in the very same place I was before
Now Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
And I cant bust out and I cant break free
And its gettin just a little too stuffy here for me
And I cant go home and I cant get loose
And I try to escape but its just no use
And I cant ever leave and I cant ever win
And were runnin outta air and the walls are closin in
And I cant go back and I cant get through
But vanna since youre here, why dont you let me buy a vowel from you
Come on vanna, come on!
Ow, buhhh
Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again
Thats right, I even wake up screaming now and then
See, Im coming home from work but I forgot my address
Im half an hour late for my algebra test
Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest
And Im falling and falling and I guess you know the rest
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Stuck in a closet with vanna white
N-n-n-night after night after night night night
Then Im stuck in a closet with vanna white (ya-ya ya-ya, ya-ya, ya, ya-ya)
Im stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white (ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya)
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cleaning The Closet
Clear out the clutter
Open the closet door
Take a look around
What is there?
Emotions, habits,
beliefs, people.
The closet must be
cleared,
to make room for the
new.
Exude positive energy.
poem by Heather Burns

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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First Person Omniscient
I made her tell me of the affair,
every detail,
and I became him, the man who pulled
her into the closet,
opening the many rooms of her mouth,
knobs spinning,
and then I was her, pulling him
by the tongue
through the river of rooms in the mansion
of my mouth,
his eyes pressing into me, his eye
seeing all,
and then I was the closet, the space
they traveled through
on their way to the mansion, and then the real
I entered the closet,
the wind of doors slamming, bodies
rushing, gone-
my eye lost in the mouth of my pocket,
or is it my hand,
my dirty, awful hand.
poem by Jeffrey McDaniel

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Keg In The Closet
We had a dog named Bocephus? living in the front yard he liked sleeping out on the top of
the car hed drink beer out of the mason jar and he climb up on everyone bed
A white frame house, a college town, a bunch of people always hanging around, no real
problems we need to drown but we tried our best anyway, we went to class just to pass the time
back in eighty nine
[Chorus:]
We had a Keg in the closet pizza on the floor left over from the night before where
we were going we didnt really care we had all we ever wanted in that keg in the closet
This old guitar taught me how to score right there on the Lambda Chi porch, Mary Ann taught
me a little more one what you cant have, sweatshirts and flag football, spring breaks down in
panama, for a while we had it all we never dreamed it wouldnt last, we went to class just to
pass the time back in eighty nine
[Chorus:]
We had a Keg in the closet pizza on the floor left over from the night before where
we were going we didnt really care we had all we ever wanted in that keg in the closet
We all kind of went our separate ways, but I swear it seems like yesterday
[Chorus:]
We had a Keg in the closet pizza on the floor left over from the night before where
we were going we didnt really care we had all we ever wanted in that keg in the closet
song performed by by Kenny Chesney

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Closet Man
(foster / mercury / gerrard)
Your secrets safe inside me
Closet man
Safe under lock and key
Understand
What youre thinkin is important
Isnt really so, youll see
But your secrets absolutely safe with me
Your lovers songs and nights
Turn into tears
Your tattoos and your muscles
Disappear
And the ring that I once gave you
Now, youre wearin in your ear
But your secrets absolutely safe my dear
Oh, your secrets safe with me
Oh, your secrets safe right here with me
Oh, your secrets safe with me
Oh, your secrets safe right here with me
You know, its all right to go on and live your life
So, come out into the light
Closet man
Theres nothing new at all under the sun
Youve got company
Youre not the only one
Why, its older than religion
And, quite honestly, more fun
But your secrets absolutely safe my dear, dont worry
Oh, your secrets safe with me
Oh, your secrets safe right here with me
Oh, your secrets safe with me
Oh, your secrets safe right here with me
You know, its all right to go on and live your life
So, come out into the light
Closet man, yeah
You know, its all right to go on and live your life
So, come out into the light
Closet man
You know, its all right to go on and live your life
So, come out into the light
Closet man
song performed by by Dusty Springfield

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What Did I Do!
I was looking for something in the closet,
I was sure it would be there.
But to my surprise it wasnt there
And I had to look all over the world.
I was telling anybody I need to find it now,
Its very important to find it now.
I wasnt surprised that they didnt care,
And I had to look for it myself.
Where is it? where is it?
Oh, where could it be?
Why dont you help me look for it?
Why dont you help me look for it?
I kept on looking for the thing they say was there,
But I couldnt find it anywhere.
And to my dismay, I didnt even remember
What I was supposed to look for anyway.
What is it? what is it?
Oh, what could it be?
Why dont you tell me what it is?
Why dont you tell me what it is?
I was looking for something I knew was in my head,
I wasnt sure if it were dead.
But to my dismay, it was still there,
I had to close the door real fast.
What did I do? what did I do?
Oh, what did I do?
Why didnt I look in the closet instead?
Why didnt I look in the closet instead?
I was looking for my head in the closet,
I was sure it would be there.
But to my surprise it wasnt there
And I had to look all over the world.
Where is it? where is it?
Oh, where could it be?
Why dont you help me look for it?
Why dont you help me look for it?
song performed by by Yoko Ono

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Closet
In the closet hung her dresses
and her shoes were on the floor.
She would not wear the dresses now
nor the shoes anymore.
He could not give her clothes away.
He smelled them everyday.
In the closet hung her robes
and nightgowns that were sheer.
She would not wear them in the nights,
her nights no longer here.
He could not give them all away.
He fingered them every day.
In the closet he felt close to her
and spoke in whispered word.
'I remember how you looked in these.'
He spoke as if she heard.
'I cannot give your clothes away.
They're all I have of you today.'
poem by Edwina Reizer

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Times' Closet
Rummaging through Time's Closet
small scenes and quiet joys
looking I
for Meaning's Ploy
which hides in corners
perhaps there is even a secret door in there
where I can or will deploy
some new found secret power
which will make my Time Closet
Grand.
But for now there are only small things
some tattered, semi-hopes
some sweet things
and many many dangling memories
which I take out occasionally;
some to mend and re-make
where reality was too bleak;
I cuddle these
infusing them
with words I never said
or should have
rescue some of them from ignomy
others fondly fondled
as befitting the tiny jewels they are
and then I smile
my slow smile
and for another night
close the door
my closet
treasures
sigh
anticipating
my return
another day.
poem by Lonnie Hicks

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Diamond in the rough
My teammates don’t know.
Surely none can suspect-
When I leave from the game
I don’t go home direct.
My lockers my closet,
And in it I hide
my alternate lifestyle
That some wear with pride
Reporters surround me
on the locker-room prowl
I patiently answer,
dripping wet, in a towel.
I’m a likeable guy
And I don’t duck the press
And they never suspect
How I look in a dress.
My lockers my closet,
And in it I hide
my alternate lifestyle
That some wear with pride.
I’ve been a star
in the City for years.
If fans knew what I’m hiding
Would I still hear the cheers?
Sure, you see me around
With a girl on my arm-
But if they want more
I back off in alarm.
It’s kind of ironic-
fans wish they were me-
Could they live with the fear
of chance publicity?
My lockers my closet,
And in it I hide
my alternate lifestyle
That some wear with pride.
poem by John F. McCullagh

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Out at the Plate
My teammates don’t know.
Surely none can suspect-
When I leave from the game
I don’t go home direct.
My lockers my closet,
And in it I hide
my alternate lifestyle
That some wear with pride
Reporters surround me
on the locker-room prowl
I patiently answer,
Dripping wet in a towel.
I’m a likeable guy
And I don’t duck the press
And they never suspect
How I look in a dress.
My lockers my closet,
And in it I hide
my alternate lifestyle
That some wear with pride.
I’ve been a star
in the City for years.
If fans knew what I’m hiding
Would I still hear the cheers?
Sure, you see me around
With a girl on my arm-
But if they want more
I back off in alarm.
It’s kind of ironic-
fans express their envy -
Could they live with the fear
of exposure like me?
My lockers my closet,
And in it I hide
my alternate lifestyle
That some wear with pride.
poem by John F. McCullagh

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Someone Else's Shoes
As I look through my closet of
poetry I realized that many of my
poems are someone else's shoes.
I was never a woman who had one breast
removed. For that’s someone else's shoes.
Nor did I know a man who hung himself
by the laces of his old brown shoes.
Once again that's someone else's shoes.
Neither was I on crack or a little
homeless girl named Suzy Brown.
Those too are someone else's shoes.
Now as I close my closet of poetry
I realize that in order for me to be true
to my art of poetry. I must sometimes
be willing to walk in someone else's shoes.
A Smothering of Poets
A love which ends badly-
if we let it-
freezes Time;
and we move on
covering it;
leaving it unchanged and unresolved.
We plant the last Kiss
with a question mark
knotted in the Semi-finish..
We drag our Dead Poet Love
into the future
bound and gagged
in the truck of the car
because all past loves
are Dead Poets;
we ignore the muffled cries
in the rear;
drive toward the future
tamping down the present
with a finger
dipped in
past and jaded memory.
We smother old past poets
put them away in the dark closet
because New Love
most often
doesn't share our love of
Former Poetries.
We reel in the Future now
before it is born;
strangled;
we make Hope for New Love
to lie
down in the cold;
but, our warm coat
is in the closet
which means
at odd times
in the chill
we dream of dead poets,
who sometimes
don't remain
dead still
in the trunk of the car
in the closet
in the category
nil.
poem by Lonnie Hicks

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They Use to Be in The Closet
Mommy...
What are illegal lesbians?
'No, honey...
They are aliens.'
So the aliens are lesbians?
'No, baby...
The lesbians are legal.
But the aliens are not.'
So...?
Who are the homosexuals?
'Well...
That's a tough one.
At one time,
They use to be in the closet.
Today...
You can't tell who's what!
Or what's going on!
Whether they are downlow in the closet...
Or out tossing balls to one another.'
Oh you mean like daddy and Uncle Ray?
I see them doing that all the time in the garage.
So far I've collected $50 to keep my mouth shut!
That's when Uncle Ray told me...
He was an illegal lesbian.
And they laughed!
Mommy?
Why are you lookiing at me like that?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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In The Closet
There is more in the closet,
Coming out of them these days.
More besides clothes, coats...
And those sneaking to get quick booty,
To hide to 'get off'
Like teenagers in a rage.
Not too many today,
Care who does what to whom.
Except those living in smaller towns...
Where there is nothing else to do,
Other than to test the beds
In their neighbors' bedrooms!
And having sex with pets!
And other kinds of sexual digressions.
'But you didn't hear that from me.
Just in case you're in the mood for steamy gossip! '
There is more in the closet,
Coming out of them these days.
People catching all kinds of sexual diseases.
HIV that can develop into AIDS.
And some folks wish to keep their sneaking discreet!
As they sweat up wetness on strange sheets...
During nighttime sleepovers.
And these same booty buddies,
Who get it on...
During the day,
Do not speak!
'Wassup with that?
But you didn't hear that from me.
Just in case you're in the mood,
For some steamy gossip! '
But folks 'down low' who are in the closet...
Don't have to be that way.
Since it seems everyone wants to be lesbian.
Even those who say they 'aren't' gay!
They just want it strickly on the bottom!
Caring less who tops as a preference.
'And...
You didn't hear that from me.
In case you're in the mood...
For some steamy gossip!
Just keep my name out of it,
And you and I will stay alright!
Aiight?
Later! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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An Old Soldier's Closet
The old soldier's closet holds memorabilia
in which he enjoys to reminisce and browse,
and thoughts of his military service to the
Nation gradually begins to rouse.
This is a closet where moth balls abound
with hangers of uniforms from former bases
still neatly pressed and offering him
an imaginary trip to former world places.
The old soldier's uniforms hanging there
suggests an earlier military styling
and instantly his present thoughts
with his past service is reconciling.
Staring at all the military paraphernalia
transfers him from this modern plane -
with teary eyes and a spirit of humbleness,
he is a dedicated soldier again.
poem by Joseph T. Renaldi

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I'm not big on the closet.
quote by Dan Butler

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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