Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously.
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Portis and Coco
Where the hell are my socks?
I have no more
Portis and Coco
are at it again
all are torn, I can't wear them
Portis, the pit
Coco the Shepoo
playing tug of war
with my socks
so it's back to the store
I'ts never enough
to play with a toy
they still get the joy
for some reason, to sniff with my jocks and
tear up my socks
poem by Matt Mondschein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Actors need bricks to play with, and in fact we rejected all the improvised fragments we had made without a plan. Improvisation without a plan is like tennis without tennis balls.
quote by Lars von Trier
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Got You By The Balls
Hey mister businessman
Head of the company
Are you looking for a lady
One who likes to please?
Hey mister businessman
This one likes to tease
With a special service
In french quantities
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
And shes calling all the shots
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Hey mister businessman
High society
She can play the school girl
And spank you all you please
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
She dont go overtime
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
(kiss your balls goodbye)
Hang it left, hang it right,
Got you by the balls
Got your shorts, got your curlies
Got you - by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Yeah, yeah
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wear My Hat
She came looking for me with her arms open wide,
Like some long lost friend of mine.
She said excuse me, but do you remember me ?
I said no, I dont believe I do
So she looked me up and down
And undressed me with her eyes,
Then she said youve got everything I need, youve got everything I want
So I said ok,
You can wear my hat,
You can have my coat,
You can take my shirt
cos I dont need it.
You can wear my shoes,
You can take my socks,
Come on take my bag its yours
If you love it,
You can have it if you love it,
Aint no problem if you love it,
Come on take it if you love it.
So her friend came up to me
With a pen and paper in her hand,
Expressing some interest in the number of my room,
She said excuse me, but do you remember me?
I said no, she said can I appeal to you?
So I looked her up and down
And realising her insinuations I blushed
She said listen babe you dont know me,
No you dont know me but you owe me,
And I love you,
Yes I love you,
Put your arms around me cos I love you,
I got all your records and I love you
So I suggested
You can wear my hat,
You can have my coat,
You can take my shirt
cos I dont need it.
You can wear my shoes,
You can take my socks,
Come on take my bag its yours
If you love it,
You can have it if you love it,
Aint no problem if you love it,
Come on take it if you love it.
Well later on that day this guy came to me
With a scrap of paper in his hand
He said hey buddy can you sign your name for me?
I said why, do I owe you money? he said no
I said listen pal do I know you? have we ever met?
Why do you want my name on this little piece of paper?
He said i love you,
I dont know you but I love you,
Like my brother I love you,
Put your arms around me cos I love you
I said hey lets not rush things
You can wear my hat,
You can have my coat,
You can take my shirt
cos I dont need it.
You can wear my shoes,
You can take my socks,
Come on take my bag its yours
If you love it,
You can have it if you love it,
Aint no problem if you love it,
Come on take it if you love it.
You can wear my hat,
You can wear my hat,
You can wear my hat,
Come on wear my hat.
song performed by by Phil Collins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your Masters Are Paid Millions
Masters of small spinning balls
golf balls tennis balls baseballs
basket balls foot balls
are worth millions
should be paid millions
each year for services
services to society
services to local global community
but police nurses teachers
should be paid menial wages
such are not main players
players of great glory games
what is their service
service to the community worth
is it really worth so little
let me entertain you
while you watch watch watch
watch a poor police person take a bribe
watch a poor nurse sell some work drugs
watch a teacher change careers
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Big Balls
Im ever upper class high society
Gods gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say Ive got
The biggest balls of all
Chorus:
Ive got big balls
Ive got big balls
And theyre such big balls
Dirty big balls
And hes got big balls
And shes got big balls
But weve got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says Ive got
Great balls of fire
Chorus
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when theyre held for pleasure
Theyre the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
Its my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Chorus
And Im just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We are merely the stars tennis-balls, struck and bandied which way please them.
quote by John Webster
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Politicians' Gimmicks!
Ridiculous,
Hunger strike
Politicians' gimmicks!
Men wear dress in white - Mark of purity,
Thinking of amassing wrongful wealth,
Politicians!
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Light Shoes with Straps
In Aruba I bought a pair of sandals, with leather straps and
shiny steel buckles; I wore them with white ankle socks.
Coming home from the sea in June no one in my town had
sandals like mine. Mind, not much call for sandals in
Liverpool, winter rain, soggy streets, hailstones and so on.
When I went back to sea, I left the sandals under my bed
to wear when returning, but when I came back brother had
worn them to death, broken straps and rusty buckles.
I was very sad, but then I met a girl called Sandra and since
it was October, too cold for sandals and white ankle socks,
I got over the loss.
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tennis
In the morning madness and the stabbing light
She pours the coffee and she says
What was wrong with you last night?
Dreams, just dreams my love, were half asleep
But the headlines on tennis
So it seems, everythings all right
Theres a girl from the midwest, with a pretty face
Scratched where it itched, they said it was a disgrace
I dont wanna go to work today
Wanna stay at home and watch that girl play
Do you like tennis?
Yes I do
There are people in boats in the middle of the sea
Crying and dying like jews
Do you like tennis?
Freedom is the man with the red grenade
She ran out of gas, got beat and raped
Do you like tennis?
Well do you like tennis?
Yes I do
song performed by by Chris Rea
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Desperate Balls
You always tried to be so nice
But always got it wrong
Day by day you played your games with me
But theres no way youll win
But the time has come
Ill start another light
And now Im gonna stand
Stand on my own - Ive always been a man
Kick your desperate balls
Its my command the mighty fall
Kick your desperate balls
Received the blow forever tall
You got desperate balls
Double talk and desperate lies
You failed to see and recognize
So sorry for your puny minds
No salvation for your kind
You tried to take me on
For you Im way too strong
I showed you how to stand
Stand on my own - Ill always be a man
Kick your desperate balls
So watch your back or I might call
Kick your desperate balls
From left or right or from below
You got desperate balls
You call those balls?
Feel the weight of mine!
You tried to take me on
For you Im way too strong
I showed you how to stand
Stand on my own - Ill always be a man
Kick your desperate balls
Its my command the mighty fall
Kick your desperate balls
Received the blow forever tall
Kick your desperate balls
So watch your back or I might call
Kick your desperate balls
From left or right or from below
You got desperate balls
Feel the weight of mine!
song performed by by U. D. O.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Big Ball's In Cowtown (feat. Asleep At The Wheel)
George Straight & Ricky Skaggs & Asleep At The Wheel
(Big balls in cowtown, yeah.)
(Come on fiddle.. yeah... sure)
Working on the railroad, sleeping on the ground,
Eating saltine crackers, ten cents a pound.(ha)
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
(Ehhhh, come here ma, the hogs done got me).
--- Instrumental ---
(yea...) (mind if I sing one George)
Ill go to cowtown, Ill dance around.
Board up your windows - big balls in town.
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
--- Instrumental ---
Put on your new shoes, put on you gown.
Shake off them sad blues - big balls in town.
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
(Come on Ricky, fiddle now.)
--- Instrumental ---
Everybodys smiling, you cant find a frown. (ha)
Girls are all happy cause big balls in town. (that's right)
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - (yeah...a)
Big balls in town... (Haa...)
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dynomite Satchel Of Pain
Lets write a song, baby
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Now sit your ass in the chair and I'll tell you my name,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
I hope this song will explain,
Just why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Well I was born in the back of a truck on the fourth of july,
I was raised by a Portuguese ninja who taught me to fly,
A business man pulled over and he asked if I needed a ride,
I had to eat that business man for lunch cos I wanted his tie,
Damn I look good in that tie,
Air born Portuguese ninja eats man for his tie,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain.
song performed by by Wheatus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dynamite Satchel Of Pain
Lets write a song, baby
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Now sit your ass in the chair and I'll tell you my name,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
I hope this song will explain,
Just why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Well I was born in the back of a truck on the fourth of july,
I was raised by a Portuguese ninja who taught me to fly,
A business man pulled over and he asked if I needed a ride,
I had to eat that business man for lunch cos I wanted his tie,
Damn I look good in that tie,
Air born Portuguese ninja eats man for his tie,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain.
song performed by by Wheatus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Two Balls One Clock
1 Football game playing on Fox,
Has 1 quarter back with 2 balls, one clock
Against 22 balls running after
1 football running with a cock.
Can the team with the most gowl,
Take the 1 ball and win them all?
I don’t know,
But what a show
In the stadium at Chicago
70,000 nuts and all of them dicks,
Paid to freeze as popsicle sticks.
Half the audience is men with only 2 balls,
Saying can we make it to the Super Bowl?
Looks like I guess not,
Because all our balls shriveled up,
Green Bay really one us by a long shot!
By Christina Sunrise on Jan.23,2011
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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041310e Sometimes It Could Happened
there's this group of trees by golf course
it collects lost flyballs; home for geese
nobody wants to crass stagnant water
so their balls is stranded there forever
sometimes i go there to pick good ones
some i keep, some i hit it back to them
one day there's an old man playing
he politely ask me if i could find his
lost balls, so i ask what is brand name
he said, ' it could be anything, my son'
i reach into my pocket and throw some
he said, ' thanks, i lost all my balls today'
poem by Manonton Dalan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.
quote by Albert Einstein
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Own Them
Are my two balls
Too big for you?
When they are exposed and admired...
Do you become ashamed
You have none to show too?
You want your friends to believe,
You wear the pants in here!
I played along with you for years...
But it is what it is,
And if I would leave...
You would be in tears.
They are loved,
And you like them there!
Hanging in front of your nose.
Just as they appear!
So why are you letting small town talk
And gossip you hear...
Make you feel these balls and not for you,
And near!
Are my two balls
Too big for you?
When they are exposed and admired...
Do you become ashamed
You have none to show too?
If you let me be the man I am
And not one just to screw...
Like your friends and neighbors
Tell you they do
Behind the backs of their spouses,
And that's a fact that's true!
It will be much better...
If you decided I own them!
They are mine,
Hanging in front of my behind!
And they are there to share with you.
Anytime you've got an hour or two!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When I was 12, every little girl in Russia was trying to wear her hair like mine and playing tennis.
quote by Anna Kournikova
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Baby Talk
This is a song about Spike
He is a bad ass guy
Who just happens to be
A really good friend of mine
Everyone I know...yeah
Who knows Spike too
Would agree when
I say the words
That Spike is cool
The problem with
my friend Spike
He has fallen into
a true love with a nice girl
Who has gotta lot of tattoos
He always talks crazy
Whenever she calls
He always talks like a baby
It's obvious now...
She has got him by the balls
She has got him by the balls...
She has got him by the balls
My weird little brother...James
And his ex-girlfriend
They would talk in those
ridiculous voices
We would all be hanging out
getting drunk in
the neighborhood
And they both would make
those ridiculous noises
He would always talk crazy
Whenever she calls
He always talks like a baby
It is obvious now
They have got him by the balls
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown man
(they have got you by the balls)
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown man
(they have got you by the balls)
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown up man
(they have got you by the balls)
You will never see me...
walking that walk
You will never catch me...
talking that babytalk
(you know it's true...
they've got you by the balls)
Which brings me back to Spike
A good guy to have in a fight
Unless he was
With his girlfriend
Obnoxious on Saturday night
You know he couldn't care less
What anyone thinks
He does not give a damn
No, because he has no shame
He looks so happy
Just like everything is fine
He is oblivious to the fact
That he has no spine
He always talks crazy
(you have no shame)
Whenever she calls
(you have no shame)
He talks like a baby
(you have no shame)
It is obvious...
they have got him by the balls
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown man
(they have got him by the balls)
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown man
(they have got him by the balls)
You will never see me...
walking that walk
You will never catch me
....talking that babytalk
(you know it's true...
they've got you by the balls)
I am not going to let it
get to me
They've got you by the balls
song performed by by Everclear
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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