I remember having an argument with Alan, I said the Queen's not just going to call the guy up and send him out to do it. And Alan says, well, how would a monarch give orders to her assassin.
quote by Eddie Campbell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
It's Five O'clock Somewhere
The sun is hot and that old clock is movin' slow,
An' so am I.
Work day passes like molasses in wintertime,
But it's July.
I'm gettin' paid by the hour, an' older by the minute.
My boss just pushed me over the limit.
I'd like to call him somethin',
I think I'll just call it a day.
Pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
Oh, this lunch break is gonna take all afternoon,
An' half the night.
Tomorrow mornin', I know there'll be hell to pay,
Hey, but that's all right.
I ain't had a day off now in over a year.
Our Jamaican vacation's gonna start right here.
if the 'phones for me,
You can tell 'em I just sailed away.
An' pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
I could pay off my tab, pour myself in a cab,
An' be back to work before two.
At a moment like this, I can't help but wonder,
What would Jimmy Buffett do?
JIMMY BUFFETT:
Funny you should ask Alan,
I'd say:
Pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
ALAN JACKSON & JIMMY BUFFETT:
Pour me somethin' tall an' strong,
Make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane.
It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.
He don't care.
I don't care.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
JIMMY BUFFETT:
What time zone am I on? What country am I in?
ALAN JACKSON:
It doesn't matter, it's five o'clock somewhere.
JIMMY BUFFETT:
It's always on five in Margaritaville, come to think of it.
ALAN JACKSON:
Yeah, I heard that.
JIMMY BUFFETT:
You been there haven't you.
ALAN JACKSON:
Yes, sir.
JIMMY BUFFETT:
I seen your boat there.
ALAN JACKSON:
I've been to Margaritaville a few times.
JIMMY BUFFETT:
All right, well that's good.
ALAN JACKSON:
Stumbled all the way back.
JIMMY BUFFETT:
OK. Just wanna make sure you can keep it between the navigational beacons.
ALAN JACKSON:
Between the bouys, I gotcha.
JIMMY BUFFETT:
All right. Well, it's five o'clock. Let's go somewhere.
ALAN JACKSON:
I'm ready, crank it up.
JIMMY BUFFETT:
Let's get out of here.
ALAN JACKSON:
I'm gone.
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hi 'My Name is Alan
Hi, my name is Alan,
Hi My name is karen
Hi, My name is assonance
Don't ask me why?
Sometimes it is condensed to
'ASS'
You know in that unfamiliar interlude
Between just 'in passing ' and being 'rude'
So how do I know Karen and Alan?
Though they don't know each other!
[neither friend or lover]
It is in the half ryhme of the vowel]
Alan is a plumber
Karen keeps fowls
On her farm
Alan knows how to charm
'A snake out of a U bend'
But without his rubber gloves
And cistern
He's lost for words
Karen is GERMAN
She is no good at love
Her husband klaus
Was chased out of the house
Later she ran him over
With her four wheel 'military' land rover
He now he lives quietly in Dover
With on leg permanently in plaster
They knew it would not be 'happy ever after
karen eats sauerkraut and lives with a
gerbil called 'rose'
Alan has bad manners and picks his nose
At a lonely heart meeting neither would show
And though they are destined to never meet
Assonance brings them together
Makes them complete
love Ass son ance
myrtle flower berry
poem by Yvette Smith
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I'd be interested to read Gull's paper on it, and I wish Alan would put it in somewhere. It gives him a relevance to our times, which he doesn't otherwise have. Gull, I mean, not Alan.
quote by Eddie Campbell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I did a Broadway show with Alan Alda and how much money can Alan Alda have.
quote by Alice Barrett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.
quote by Alan Coren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Do You Remember Rocknroll Radio?
Do you remember hullabaloo,
Upbeat, shindig and ed sullivan too? .
Do you remember rocknroll radio?
Do you remember rocknroll radio?
Do you remember murray the k,
Alan freed, and high energy?
Its the end, the end of the 70s.
Its the end, the end of the century.
Do you remember lying in bed with your covers
Pulled up over your head? radio playin so one can see.
We need change, we need it fast before rocks just part
Of the past. cause lately it all sound the same to me.
Oh-oh. will you remember jerry lee,
John lennon, t. rex and ol moulty?
Its the end, the end of the 70s.
Its the end, the end of the century.
song performed by by Ramones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was 7, and I remember being given a part in a play and thinking, This is exciting.
quote by Alan Rickman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We can no longer let the threat of an early frost send a chill of fear throughout a large portion of our workforce. Diversification is the only answer.
quote by Alan Autry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lawless World
Streets paved with blood
From the murders and the rapes
of a lawless world
Our governments send the troops
around the world
Fighting not for justice
but for the oil
And anything else
they can call their own
While the murders
and the rapes
rule our streets
poem by Dave Alan Walker
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The Christening
What shall I call
My dear little dormouse?
His eyes are small,
But his tail is e-nor-mouse.
I sometimes call him Terrible John,
'Cos his tail goes on -
And on -
And on.
And I sometimes call him Terrible Jack,
'Cos his tail goes on to the end of his back.
And I sometimes call him Terrible James,
'Cos he says he likes me calling him names...
But I think I shall call him Jim,
'Cos I am fond of him.
poem by Alan Alexander Milne
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's responsibility as a free man.
quote by Alan Stewart Paton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's Five O'Clock Somewhere
[Alan:]
The sun is hot and that old clock,
is movin' slow, and so am I.
Work day passes like molasses,
in winter time, but it's July.
Getting paid by the hour,
and older by the minute.
My boss just pushed me,
over the limit.
I could call him something,
think I'll just call it a day...
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane, before I go insane.
It's only half past twelve. But I don't care,
it's five o'clock somewhere.
This lunch break is gonna take
all afternoon, half the night.
Tomorrow morning I know there'll be hell to pay,
but, hey, that's all right.
I ain't had a day off now, in over a year.
My Jamaican vacation's gonna start right here.
If the phone's for me you can tell them
I just sailed away....
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane, before I go insane.
It's only half past twelve. But I don't care,
it's five o'clock somewhere.
[Instrumental]
I could pay off my tab, pour myself in a cab,
and be back to work before two.
At a moment like this, I can't help but wonder,
what would Jimmy Buffett do.
[Jimmy:]
Funny you should ask Alan, I'd say...
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane, before I go insane.
It's only half past twelve, but I don't care.
[Together:]
Pour me something tall and strong.
Make it a hurricane, before I go insane.
It's only half past twelve. But I don't care,
it's five o'clock somewhere.
[Alan:]
... but he don't care, I don't care.
Together
It's five o'clock somewhere.
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I can't get the girl, at least give me more money.
Orders From Headquarters
Mathew 20: 28
Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give His life as a ransom for many
Jesus himself came to follow orders. And a great one too. To sacrifice His life for ours. To save us.
Not many like to take orders. Yet in reality, we take orders everyday. Whether it's work, school, parents, or even sports. We are all obliged to take orders whether we like it or not. Why is that though?
Most of the time we take orders from those we need. For example, your boss at work. You take his orders because you need the money. Or your teachers. You take their commands because you're looking to graduate.
In retrospect, we need to follow God's orders because we need Jesus more than anything in this world. He's our provider, our light, our breath of everyday, our everything.
He gave us orders, and that's to serve Him. So how much more do we need to carry out His orders? Jesus did it. So how much more do we?
These are the orders from headquarters, carry out His commandments, seek Him. Evangelize, and care for others according to His will.
In the Name of Jesus. Amen.
poem by Rafael Barboza
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Assassin
Track 1 of _Fugazi_ ---
I am the assassin, with tongue forged from eloquence.
I am the assassin, providing your nemesis.
On the sacraficial altar to success, my friend;
Unleash a stranger from a kiss, my friend;
No incantations of remorse, my friend;
Unsheath the blade within the voice,
my friend, my friend, my friend, my friend
I am the assassin, (assassin, assassin)
Who decorates the scarf with the fugi knot,
Who camouflaged emotion in the thousand-yard stare,
Who gouged the notches in the family tree,
Who hypnotized the guilt in career rhythm trance.
Assassin, assassin, assassin, assassin.
(Assassin , my friend.)
Listen as the syllables of slaughter cut with calm precision,
Patterned frosty phrases rape your ears and sew the ice incision.
Adjectives of annihilation bury the point beyond redemption,
Venomous verbs of ruthless candor plagiarize assassins' fervor.
Apocalyptic alphabet casting spell, the creed of tempered diction,
my friend, your friend, the assassin.
my friend, your friend, the assassin.
A friend in need, is a friend that bleeds...
(my friend, your friend, the assassin.)
A friend in need, is a friend that bleeds...
(my friend, your friend, the assassin.)
Let bitter silence infect the wound,
Let bitter silence infect the wound,
I am the assassin, (your friend)
I am the assassin, (your friend)
I am the assassin, (your friend)
Assassin!
You were a sentimental mercenary in a free-fire zone,
Parading a Hollywood conscience;
You were a fashionable objector with a uniform fetish,
Pavlovian slaver at the cash till ring of success.
A noncom observer, I assassin, the collector... defector.
So you resigned yourself to failure, my friend,
And I emerged the chilling stranger, my friend,
To eradicate the problem, my friend,
Unsheath the blade within the voice,
within the voice, within the voice,
within the voice.
And what do you call assassins who accuse assassins, anyway...
My friend
song performed by by Marillion
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And I learned a lot from working with this kid, and I think he's gonna be a big star. Remember the name, Tim Dark, because he has something about his voice that's different from all the other rappers, even though his style is similar.
When does she do all this thinking? We're together all the time but she thinks deeply about things and with feeling and she can remember the facts. We've been married 48 years.
Im An Agent
Send in eyes
Thoughts of crashing, all those pictures
Send in thoughts of john the god
Send in dreams
Lovers on corners, clean my sheets
Your only chance is break the state
We are clean
Dont ask, Im an agent
Send in change
Secretaries, nothing more
You can be replaced you know
Send in chance
Bad conditions, talk of leaving
Talk of walking out on me
Send in you
Send in pain, send in lies
Send in words that I believe
Send in you
Just watch the face, your sure to see
Something, give this game away
Send in you
Get her out, get her out
Call me, just dont say the name
song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The King's Breakfast
The King's Breakfast
The King asked
The Queen, and
The Queen asked
The Dairymaid:
"Could we have some butter for
The Royal slice of bread?"
The Queen asked the Dairymaid,
The Dairymaid
Said, "Certainly,
I'll go and tell the cow
Now
Before she goes to bed."
The Dairymaid
She curtsied,
And went and told
The Alderney:
"Don't forget the butter for
The Royal slice of bread."
The Alderney
Said sleepily:
"You'd better tell
His Majesty
That many people nowadays
Like marmalade
Instead."
The Dairymaid
Said, "Fancy!"
And went to
Her Majesty.
She curtsied to the Queen, and
She turned a little red:
"Excuse me,
Your Majesty,
For taking of
The liberty,
But marmalade is tasty, if
It's very
Thickly
Spread."
The Queen said
"Oh!:
And went to
His Majesty:
"Talking of the butter for
The royal slice of bread,
Many people
Think that
Marmalade
Is nicer.
Would you like to try a little
Marmalade
Instead?"
The King said,
"Bother!"
And then he said,
"Oh, deary me!"
The King sobbed, "Oh, deary me!"
And went back to bed.
"Nobody,"
He whimpered,
"Could call me
A fussy man;
I only want
A little bit
Of butter for
My bread!"
The Queen said,
"There, there!"
And went to
The Dairymaid.
The Dairymaid
Said, "There, there!"
And went to the shed.
The cow said,
"There, there!
I didn't really
Mean it;
Here's milk for his porringer,
And butter for his bread."
The Queen took
The butter
And brought it to
His Majesty;
The King said,
"Butter, eh?"
And bounced out of bed.
"Nobody," he said,
As he kissed her
Tenderly,
"Nobody," he said,
As he slid down the banisters,
"Nobody,
My darling,
Could call me
A fussy man -
BUT
I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!"
poem by Alan Alexander Milne
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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