I go the VA Hospital when I have a problem and the doctor jumps on me.
quote by R. Lee Ermey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Problems
Too many problems, oh why am I here?
I need to be me, cause youre all to clear
And I can see theres something wrong with you
Oh, what do you expect me to do?
At least I gotta know what I wanna be
Dont come to me if you need pity
Are you lonely, you got no-one
You got your body in suspension
Thats a problem, problem, problem
The problem is you
Eat your heart out on a plastic tray
You dont do what you want and you fade away
You work for me, youre working nine-to-five
Its too much fun of being alive
Im using my feet for my human machine
You work for me, living for the screen
Are you lonely, all needs catered
You got your brains dehydrated
Problem, problem, problem, the problem is you
Oh what what you gonna do, problem, problem
Problem, problem, problem, the problem is you
Well, what you gonna do with your problem
The problem is you, problem
I aint death trip, but I aint automatic
You work for me, just stay ecstatic
Dont you give me any orders
To people like me, there is no order
Bet you thought you had it all worked out
Bet you thought you knew what I was about
Bet you thought youd solved all your problems
But you are the problem
Problem, problem, problem, the problem is you
Oh, what you gonna do with your problem?
Ill leave it up to you, oh problem
The problem is you, you got a problem
Oh what you gonna do?
They know a doctor, gonna take you away
Thay take you away and they throw away the key
They dont want you and they dont want me
You got a problem the problem is you
Problem, well, what you gonna do?
Problem, have you got a problem?
Problem, well you got a problem
Problem (x17)
song performed by by Megadeth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Hospital Food
Coming down through the alley
Trying to walk without a sound
It doesnt really matter
cause there aint no one around
Tip toe through the alley and
Tip toe through your life
You still got it coming
Be it gun be it knife
Next thing you know
Youre eating hospital food
Karaoke castration
Take the wasp alive
Hes gonna sting you anyway
And take you to the hive
Yesterday was suckin and
Tomorrows looking bad
Who knew that today
Was the only thing I had
Hospital food
Want some hospital food
Hospital food
Delicious hospital food
In your tribute album to the world
You must never forget
To sing the one about the cat
Whos always getting wet
He always got a problem
Hes a very bitter dude
And now hes complaining
About his hospital food
Hospital food
Its gonna help the medicine go down
Want some hospital food
Gonna take a walk without a sound
A little hospital food
Helps the spoonful of sugar come up
I want some hospital food
In your blender and in my cup
song performed by by Eels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Because these kids get away from their parents, and they binge drink until they are sick. Dozens of them are going to the hospital, and some of them dying. This is a problem, a big problem that needs to be addressed, and we need accurate information.
The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
When a compassionate Nurse dress your wounds
Doctor told him' You are all right and discharge in the evening.'
The patient begs; ' I would like to stay one more night Doctor.'
'It's up to you.'
He informed his beloved wife; 'Hey! Darling, Doctor wants to see me tomorrow for an urgent matter, no idea? '
And he waits till the kind Nurse's visit to his cubicle room.
But another one came and she is on leave it seems.
He dreamed in the particular night that he met an accident and admitted to the same hospital.
* Human mind is an untamed beast explores new adventures?
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Doctor’s Day,2010
Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!
Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.
Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.
Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Doctor Doctor
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh the mess Im in
She walked up to me
And really stole my heart
And then she started
To take my body apart
*livin, lovin, Im on the run
Far away from you
Livin, lovin, Im on the run
So far away from you
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, Im goin fast
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, Im goin fast
Its only just a moment,
Shes turnin paranoid
Thats not a situation for a nervous boy
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, the mess Im in
But you look so angry
As I crawled across your floor
Shes got the strain,
And I cant take any more
*repeat
*repeat
song performed by by Ufo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Leaf Of A Doctor
The emblem of a fruit takes on cures,
Making me happy as a doctor of skill and precision.
Learned and skilful, pressing on my shoulders,
The other doctor vanishes then returns to diagnose
And treat with goodness and delight.
I am the man of the hospital, the man of right,
Forgiving others like the old women and children.
Deciding the treatment I laugh and loudly,
The leaf of burden collapses tonight.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Doctor Robert
Ring my friend, i said you call doctor robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all, doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
If you're down he'll pick you up, doctor robert
Take a drink from his special cup, doctor robert
Doctor robert, he's a man you must believe,
Helping everyone in need
No one can succeed like doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
My friend works for the national health, doctor robert
Don't pay money just to see yourself with doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Going ahead
What is the problem
And there is no problem.
You want to do
And the work done
You want to go
And you gone.
The problem is
There is no problem
The problem you created
Is not a problem.
It is your duty
To think yourself
What to do
And there is nothing
To do.
Who are you to do
And the problem is
You are going
A head to do.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Problem With Teeth
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out their course
They shift when you're eating
Or fly loose at a greeting
Some marriages end with divorce!
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they won't always lie
In a mouth half their size
And can drive a sane man up the wall
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out life's course
In on a hospital stay they get 'put away'
Until you can't find them at all!
And when they do finally arrive
It's on a woman whose barely alive
Though's she's making a terrible din
But when she smiles she possesses your grin
And it's hard to reclaim them
Because she's renamed them
But the teeth that you've got won't fit in! ! .
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they rarey survive in life's course
So it's better to brush and religiously floss
So you don't have to lose them at all!
yvette smith
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
So I had to be the doctor to these wounded men until we could remove them to the hospital. There were fifty-four women and forty little boys with the Red Army prisoners, and I went daily to take care of them also.
quote by Agnes Smedley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A hospital patient from Leicester
Said, 'look, I do not want to pester,
But Doctor, I need
For this thing not to bleed
And it's nearly filled up my sou'wester.
(Written Oct 2012)
quote by by John Carter Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Bullet Below Her Breast (missed...udderly)
Sad, Saggy Saga
Ninety three year old lady,
sad and bereft
By her beloved husband’s
untimely death
Decided to join him
and no longer be apart
Twould best be done
by a bullet to the heart
To her doctor posed the question,
“exactly where does my heart rest”
The doctor replied,
“just below your left breast”
Gunshot under her left breast
Failed to set her free
She was admitted to hospital
With gunshot wound to left knee
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Doctor, Doctor
Doctor, theres something wrong with me
My health is not all that it used to be
My heart is out of beat, I got chokers on my feet
My eyesights getting dimmer, I cant see
Doctor thanks for seeing me today, Im glad,
Ive got every sickness there is to be had
I had whooping cough last month
And today Ive got the mumps
And tomorrow Ill catch chicken pox as well.
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go now I can tell
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Those pills I took have no effect at all
Just the other day I had a nasty fall
And I think I broke my jaw when it hit the kitchen floor
And Im shrinking last week I was five foot four
Ive been getting shivers lately, is it flu?
I know the bug is going round, what can I do?
Its about to pick on me, Ive still got the other three
Do you think I caught smallpox Id get flu?
[chorus]
Do you think its time that I made out my will?
Ill leave everything to you to pay my bill
Just how long is there to go
Please tell me I want to know
But on second thoughts dont tell me, Im too ill.
song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I just had that conversation this morning with my doctor. I just got back from the hospital a half-hour ago, and nothing will make me happier than to replicate the DNA of my amazing husband. I'm optimistic.
quote by Karen Duffy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Doctor Said
The stroke was bad, and arriving at the hospital
we expected hushed, grim words
from the preoccupied doctor.
The doctor said it was brain-stem, hopeless;
the coma was total; his mind, the doctor said,
was at the bottom of a deep well.
So we entered his room and
saw the machinery of life-support,
reassuring noises, glowing red displays,
tubes and wires tethering his shattered mind to the bed.
The doctor said that Ed would not come back,
and we should cut off the milky food
flowing down a clear tube to his still living gut,
and give him a gentle death by starvation;
it would not be painful, the doctor knowingly said.
But his coma was so restless and active,
his eyes were wide and darting,
his mouth opened, as though to speak,
and his legs rose and fell,
like he was walking to Sunday Mass.
He looked alive, so we refused
and directed the nurses
to keep hope flowing,
at least for now.
When it was my turn to sit with him,
I said, “Hey Ed! You know,
I’ve been drinking all your beer at home, ” and he smiled
and looked at me with humor and said, “ohhh? ”
But the doctor said it was automatic reflex,
and smiled indulgently at me.
The next morning the doctor,
(expecting no response) said,
“Hello Ed. How are we feeling today? ”
but stopped, nothing to say at last,
when Ed replied, “Lousy! ”
Ed lived for the next three years
as grandchildren were born,
baptisms were witnessed,
and first communions were celebrated,
and ready at last, he died
one bright, peaceful
April morning,
with nothing more
to be said.
poem by Steven Federle
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
As I laid in the hospital bed I started thinking that I had a show to do. I was hoping the Doctor would put me together so I could do the show.
quote by Ben Vereen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Mental Hospital
There was a doctor of death
a maker of pain
all he ever said
was don't play games
I was an innocent man
in a sea of pain
but all I could see
was the broken dreams
of the lost souls
walking the corridor
of hope and pain
High royds hospital
never broke me
but it took twenty years
to shake the pain
of doctor death
Now it's time
for all the lost souls
to be laid to rest
No one ever helped them
deal with their pain
they was just a face
with no name
Find the victims
ease their pain
poem by Dave Alan Walker
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!