The suffering patient knows more than the expert doctor.
Related quotes
Patient, Thou speak’st only the truth
The truth, he speaks, the patient, sick when he's,
'Tis rare for him to tell a pack of lies;
If not, the Diagnosis will go amiss,
The patient knows all this if he is wise.
How can the Doctor know the malady,
Without the patient telling his Symptom?
Diagnosis must precede the Remedy,
A commodity, Health's bought but seldom.
0 patient, Thou better speak truth alone!
The Doctor is no real Demi-God;
Help him help thee, 'fore thy family shall moan;
If thou art ill, Doctor is next to God.
Diseases can dupe the best of Doctors,
A bad history can turn into thine hearse.
poem by John Celes
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The old one is expert
I bring my sexy buttocks;
Them, boys don’t know to act on.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Turn me around and ride.
I bring my two sexy breasts;
Them, boys don’t know how to handle.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Hold me under and kneed.
I bring my hot rosy lips;
Them, boys don’t know how to lock.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Lift me up close and bruise.
I bring my burning lobes;
Them, boys don’t know how to pound on.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Lay me on bed and tear.
I want a long, hard foreplay;
That boys aren’t patient to employ.
You, the aged, won’t be in hurry.
Bring me to orgasm and have glory.
26.09.2006.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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A patient going to a doctor for his first visit was asked, "And whom did you consult before coming to me?"
"Only the village druggist," was the answer.
"And what sort of foolish advice did that numbskull give you?" asked the doctor, his tone and manner denoting his contempt for the advice of the layman.
"Oh," replied his patient, with no malice aforethought, "he told me to come and see you."
Sonnet: Advice to Doctors
No patient’s mine; no patient remains yours;
The patient comes and goes from Doc to Doc;
If he improves, we simply then rejoice,
Though God’s the key to the diagnostic-lock!
All patients ail and expect some relief;
A doctor’s duty is to help him out;
All patients speak the truth; Time is the thief;
To use his knowledge best, all Doctors ought.
Fleece not the poor; cheat not the ones who’re sick;
God is the Healer prime; He uses us;
Off not life’s candle-flame with intact wick;
The Doctor shirking work invites God’s curse!
Lose not Ethics; lose not your morals, Doc!
Like patients, Doctors are part of God’s flock.
8-28-2002
poem by John Celes
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An Expert
An expert magician
practices his
magic
An expert card
dealer
deals his cards
carefully
An expert tailor
measures twice
cuts once
sews once
perfection
An expert husband
takes great pride
in his wife.
poem by Heather Burns
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The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bizarre Satire
Life is bizarre, received a letter
incriminating a State Doctor for
assaulting a patient; subsequent
indictment of another doctor and
all officers at the police station
where she lodged a complaint
Made it clear this person causes
her own problems, she descries
all in self-righteous indignation -
everybody gets angry when she
opens her mouth to spew forth
a stream of poisonous words
A second letter even more absurd, a
patient claiming a psychiatrist tortured
her diagnosing schizophrenia and the
medication prescribed did not agree with
her system, she demands prosecution
for murderous intent…
I should claim indemnification for suffering
when reading such aberrational material,
luckily it reminds so much of the burlesque
I started laughing, realising that these ab-
solutely marvelous complaints contribute
immensely to the satire of life
I cannot blame them for being mental, knowing
that on a spiritual level, they create their own
problems through their vitriolic attitude to people
who try to do good – this should teach all altruists
you cannot help those who refuse to accept res-
ponsibility for anything that happens to them!
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Doctor’s Day,2010
Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!
Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.
Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.
Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010
poem by John Celes
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When a compassionate Nurse dress your wounds
Doctor told him' You are all right and discharge in the evening.'
The patient begs; ' I would like to stay one more night Doctor.'
'It's up to you.'
He informed his beloved wife; 'Hey! Darling, Doctor wants to see me tomorrow for an urgent matter, no idea? '
And he waits till the kind Nurse's visit to his cubicle room.
But another one came and she is on leave it seems.
He dreamed in the particular night that he met an accident and admitted to the same hospital.
* Human mind is an untamed beast explores new adventures?
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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Had Surgery
The small throat, the larger stomach, all this concern
With the wrong certain structure so made of me.
The surgeon has a guile, a patience too dear, but I
Am patient, a patient of well-being so well cooked.
The small throat has been enlarged and the stomach enticed
To cook me the food of luxury, the plastic relish of society.
This religion I follow of a surgeon in surgery shall last
For a life-time, forming more years onto my life tonight.
A doctor is blessed for the guilt he does not own,
A doctor planned me a retreat from life, and the time.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Doctor Doctor
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh the mess Im in
She walked up to me
And really stole my heart
And then she started
To take my body apart
*livin, lovin, Im on the run
Far away from you
Livin, lovin, Im on the run
So far away from you
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, Im goin fast
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, Im goin fast
Its only just a moment,
Shes turnin paranoid
Thats not a situation for a nervous boy
Doctor doctor, please
Oh, the mess Im in
Doctor doctor, please,
Oh, the mess Im in
But you look so angry
As I crawled across your floor
Shes got the strain,
And I cant take any more
*repeat
*repeat
song performed by by Ufo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Robert
Ring my friend, i said you call doctor robert
Day or night he'll be there any time at all, doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
If you're down he'll pick you up, doctor robert
Take a drink from his special cup, doctor robert
Doctor robert, he's a man you must believe,
Helping everyone in need
No one can succeed like doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
My friend works for the national health, doctor robert
Don't pay money just to see yourself with doctor robert
Doctor robert, you're a new and better man,
He helps you to understand
He does everything he can, doctor robert
Well, well, well, you're feeling fine
Well, well, well, he'll make you ... doctor robert
song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He Is An Expert (Fun Poem 130)
Someone showed him
how to lay a brick
and overnight he became
an expert bricklayer.
One lesson was all he needed.
One day he helped fix a puncture
on one of his car tyres,
then he went to bed
and when he woke up,
he was an expert motor mechanic.
Everything he does
no matter what it is,
he only has to do it once
and he is an expert
or so he thinks he is.
There are so many experts
it is had to find a real one
from all the wannabes
and the know it alls
that surround us everyday.
poem by David Harris
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Down to the Bone
Doctor...
Shouldn't the patient be given an anesthetic?
Something to ease the pain,
And provide comfort during this procedure?
'No!
If there is any pain felt...
They will know that soon enough,
When I prepare the bill.
And this one will leave them in shock,
For the rest of their lives.
I'll prescribe something...
That will keep them coming back again.
There are too many vacations my family and I
Desire to take.
And I have clubhouse fees that are essential,
To keep paid.
And if I don't receive my fee in a timely fashion...
I am the one who bares the brunt end of the suffering!
Hand me the buzz saw, please!
I need to get down to the bone.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Remembrances of our family doctor
Our family doctor was Dr.Panickar,
T.N.Ramakrishna Panickar,
His diagnosis used to be sharper;
He used to do a few laboratory tests then and there,
He was an expert in treating us for ever;
He used to treat free for the poor,
He used to convince and comfort us whomsoever;
He mostly dispensed us tablets and mixtures,
He never sent us to cities and referred
rarely to higher centres;
He charged his fees only very meagre,
Disease for which we approached him used to disappear;
Remembrances of our family doctor
who was our savior
remain in our mind for ever!
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
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Happy Doctors’ Day,2008
All doctors are not demi-gods;
No doctor is miraculous;
All doctors are human beings,
Who help the sick and try to cure.
But doctors deal with human lives;
The profession’s noblest of all;
The Healer is Almighty God;
The doctor is His instrument.
The world is rife with ailments new;
The doctor strives his best to cure;
The doctor lessens suffering;
The miracles are done by God.
Yet, newer therapies have come;
The future for patients is bright;
Let people be more health-aware,
And live lives longer happily.
‘A Happy Doctors’ Day, ’08! ’
Pray God gives cures for more ailments;
The body’s, mind’s health stands foremost;
The doctor is like you, human.
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2008
poem by John Celes
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A playwright in a lunatic asylum
The Psychiatrist read the script and said;
'I am your doctor my brothers and sisters.'
'It's a common saying and we too whispered the same line
When we're enrolled to this college.' A colleague interupts.
'But now we're almost cured' Someone muttered.
'What's your religion? ' Doctor inquired a patient
He tells; ' My Dad is a Strong Catholic and mother is a simple Buddhist,
Sister eloped with a Muslim and the youngest brother converted to Hindu.'
'Sorry you need my religion isn't it?
He wants to give me a scholarship to Harvard University it seems.'
My religion is Oxygen.'
'What, A new religion? '
'No doctor the oldest religion since the beginning and once that stopped
All the sages go to hell or Heaven who knows? '
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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A Lunatic Asylum and a Sunrise
'I loss of interest in activities once I enjoyed,
It's very difficult to concentrate and make a decision at once.
Sometimes I feel worthlessness
And I need more sleep, my poor appetite never improves.
Sad thoughts mingle with gloom in the hidden mind at all.'
He whispered to the doctor.[ another patient]
Then doctor said; 'I too had the same symptoms earlier
And those are called depressive disorders,
But now I am quite O.K.
That's why I see the patients voluntarily and there you see a Sunrise in the west.'
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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