He Is An Expert (Fun Poem 130)
Someone showed him
how to lay a brick
and overnight he became
an expert bricklayer.
One lesson was all he needed.
One day he helped fix a puncture
on one of his car tyres,
then he went to bed
and when he woke up,
he was an expert motor mechanic.
Everything he does
no matter what it is,
he only has to do it once
and he is an expert
or so he thinks he is.
There are so many experts
it is had to find a real one
from all the wannabes
and the know it alls
that surround us everyday.
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
An Expert
An expert magician
practices his
magic
An expert card
dealer
deals his cards
carefully
An expert tailor
measures twice
cuts once
sews once
perfection
An expert husband
takes great pride
in his wife.
poem by Heather Burns
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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To be an expert
If you have people to say
You're an expert, then you are.
In the event of your failure,
If you have people to find
A scapegoat, you stay as an expert.
Such experts run the democracy.
14.09.2012
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The media tends to report rumors, speculations, and projections as facts... How does the media do this? By quoting some ""expert""... you can always find some expert who will say something hopelessly hopeless about anything.
quote by Peter McWilliams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And in Hollywood, you know, everyone is an expert. Most of them are expert editors. They can't direct, they can't write, they can't act, but, by God, they all think they can edit.
quote by John Frankenheimer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The old one is expert
I bring my sexy buttocks;
Them, boys don’t know to act on.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Turn me around and ride.
I bring my two sexy breasts;
Them, boys don’t know how to handle.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Hold me under and kneed.
I bring my hot rosy lips;
Them, boys don’t know how to lock.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Lift me up close and bruise.
I bring my burning lobes;
Them, boys don’t know how to pound on.
You, the aged, must be an expert.
Lay me on bed and tear.
I want a long, hard foreplay;
That boys aren’t patient to employ.
You, the aged, won’t be in hurry.
Bring me to orgasm and have glory.
26.09.2006.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I have spoken to expert audiences occasionally, but then no audience is expert over the whole range of things I want to explore.
quote by David Antin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dick the Mechanic
There is a mechanic from Duluth,
He is great and friendly to boot.
He fixed my car and got it ready to sale,
It sold for $3,000 with no problem at all.
Dick even fixed my water pump while fixing my motor,
He knew what parts my car needed in fast order.
He was thorough and complete,
He even removed a jerry rigged speaker next to drivers seat.
He even works on old collector cars,
He is an expert mechanic by far.
So if you want your vehicle to be fixed at a fantastic price,
Call Dick, and if anything he will give you great advice.
(By Suzae Chevalier on August 25, 2011)
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dick the Mechanic
There is a mechanic from Duluth,
He is great and friendly to boot.
He fixed my car and got it ready to sale,
It sold for $3,000 with no problem at all.
Dick even fixed my water pump while fixing my motor,
He knew what parts my car needed in fast order.
He was thorough and complete,
He even removed a jerry rigged speaker next to drivers seat.
He even works on old collector cars,
He is an expert mechanic by far.
So if you want your vehicle to be fixed at a fantastic price,
Call Dick, and if anything he will give you great advice.
(By Suzae Chevalier on August 25,2011)
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If an expert says it can't be done, get another expert.
quote by David Ben Gurion
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Crystal Ball
Expert lover, my baby
U ever had a crystal ball?
Expert lover, my baby
U ever had a crystal ball?
Ooh, expert lover, my baby
Ever had a crystal ball?
Expert lover, my baby
U ever had a crystal ball?
As bombs explode around us and hate advances on the right
The only thing that matters, baby, is the love that we make 2night
As little babies in make-up terrorize the western world
The only thing that matters, baby, is love between a boy and girl
Oh, expert lover, my baby
U ever had a crystal ball?
Undercover, no maybe
All 4 fun and fun 4 all
I cant remember my babys voice cuz she aint talkin no more
Only the sound of love and prayer echo from the yellow floor,
Yellow floor
Huh, shes sayin c dear jesus, save us from temptation
Dear jesus, save us from hell
Save us from the madness that threatens us all
Can u hear us? its hard 2 tell
In your name we pray
Expert lover, my baby
Ever had a crystal ball?
Undercover, no maybe
All 4 fun, fun 4 all
As soldiers draw swords of sorrow
My baby draws pictures of sex (yes, she does)
All over the walls in graphic detail - sex!
Everybody say it now
Expert lover, huh, my baby
Ever had a crystal ball?
Under undercover, ha, no maybe
All 4 fun and fun 4 all
Rip it, ouch! uh
Expert lover, my baby
Ever had a crystal ball?
Uh, expert lover, my baby (my baby)
Ever had a crystal ball?
Crystal ball
Expert
My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby
Kiss me, lick me, trick me, whoa!
Oh yeah, yeah
Come on, come on, come on, wont u come on?
Expert lover, huh, my baby
Have u ever had a crystal ball?
Dont u wanna?
What my drummer wanna say? {x2}
Yeah! drummer
Tell me what the bass said
Yeah
Oh, ow!
Listen 2 my, uh, listen 2 my bass man play
(alright) (expert lover, my baby is alright)
(alright) (undercover, my baby is alright)
Listen 2 the guitar play
Hey! wait a minute now
Its groovy
Ouch! guitar, guitar
Come on now
Oh yeah!
My baby licked me fast
Her mama watch her gas
Come on, baby, do me fast
Come on, come on
Your mathematical gas
Uh
Ooh wee!
Darlin, darlin, u know u want a crycrystal ball
Crystal ball
I dont know, I have 2 ask my mommy first
As bombs explode around u and hate advances on your right
The only thing u can be sure of is the love we make 2night
Expert lover, my baby
Ever had a crystal ball?
Take off your clothes, baby
Come on, get the crystal ball
Oh, expert lover, my baby
U ever had a crystal ball?
Come on, take off your clothes, baby
Come on, get the crystal ball
Come on!
Expert lover, my baby
Ever had a crystal ball?
Oh, my baby, my baby, my baby
Come on, get the, get the, get the crystal ball
Oh, u ever had a crystal ball?
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What's an expert? I read somewhere, that the more a man knows, the more he knows, he doesn't know. So I suppose one definition of an expert would be someone who doesn't admit out loud that he knows enough about a subject to know he doesn't really know how much.
quote by Malcolm Forbes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I became a real Shell Motor Oil expert, and I did this 25-minute film. It turned out really well and, as a result, they offered me more work and lots of commercials to direct.
quote by Renny Harlin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter LIV: Expert
if I am the expert
and I'm the only one who have that knowledge
I hope I will never meet that day
when I know I can lie with my knowledge
and nobody knows
nobody
I can fool everyone
I can take their money
if someday somebody suspicious about me
that I lie to him with my knowledge
I will fool him
I will kill him easily to keep my secret
nobody will ever know
nobody
if I am an expert and I die
and I'm the only one who have that knowledge
I will leave no notes, letters, pictures, memories
so nobody will ever know which's right
or have I lied with my knowledge
I'll take my secret with my decayed body
and nobody will ever find the truth
nobody
poem by Maria Sudibyo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Like it or not, we have placed our destiny in the hands of the experts. A politician is, after all, a kind of expert, if self-styled. Even the fact that competent experts must serve under politicians of mediocre intelligence and little foresight is a problem that we are stuck with, because the experts themselves cannot agree on any major world issue. A logocracy of quarreling experts might be no better than the rule of the mediocrities to which we are subject. The declining intellectual quality of political leadership is the result of the growing complexity of the world. Since no one, be he endowed with the highest wisdom, can grasp it in its entirety, it is those who are least bothered by this who strive for power.
quote by Stanislaw Lem
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice.
quote by Norman Augustine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In Times When My Head
(carly simon)
In times in my head
Was together about you
I was an expert a silence
I enjoyed the blonds in their red jeeps
Stopping you on the street
Knowing none could compare with me
In my airy skirts and cool retreats
(chorus)
In times when my head was together about you
I was an expert at silence
You could have told the truth all the time
I was that at ease inside
You never made me cry
And then one night I lied
I got down with a boy in the backwoods
I didnt tell you and you didnt see
And thats when jealousy got the dog up in me
Now every look you get
Seems like another threat
I pick your pockets almost hoping to find
Something to hurt about, to prove you unkind
Oh but I still love you, baby
Though now I jsut cant sit still
And though that boy meant nothing to me
I believe Ive lost that simple thrill of the...
song performed by by Carly Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In the steps of Rumi: 86: Here, maybe now..
Maybe there really is ‘somewhere else’.
Maybe there isn’t.
Travel agents tell me there is.
They even suggest that I’ll be someone different
while I’m there…
but suppose I was? Would I
remember to come back?
Or stay there, be someone else..
until I’m sure, I stay here
and practise just being here.
It sounds simpler that way.
Then when I’m expert in being here,
and go somewhere,
I’ll still be ‘here’ there..
Really? You think that sounds dull?
But I’m happy to be me, here…
Maybe I’ll be happy being ‘here’ there, too..
And when I’m expert at being here,
then I might try being now..
no past to worry about,
no future to worry about;
It sounds simpler that way.
I’ll let you know.
*
[to Rumi and to Ronberge: poets of the light heart,
the light touch.]
poem by Michael Shepherd
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We expert teachers know that motivation and emotional impact are what matter.
quote by Donald Norman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
quote by Laurence J. Peter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Expert Dentist Dr Joseph
There is a dentist on Palm Beach,
who really knows how to fix your teeth.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph is his name,
your teeth will never be the same,
because 'Expert Dentistry' is his game.
His Star treatment makes you feel grand,
when his office picks you up in a limousine not a van,
driving you to his dentist office by ocean and sand.
Photos of Dr. Josephs, family and staff I did take,
to display past patients smiles real great.
By promoting his business in Palm Beach Today.
showing how he can prevent tooth decay.
Dr. Mitchell Joseph also is a generous soul,
he gave me a big tip at the Italian Bistro.
Just one more thing you should know,
he is an expert so listen his “Tooth Talk” radio show.
Written on Feb.16th 2011 by Christina Sunrise
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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