The doctor demands his fees whether he has killed the illness or the patient.
Related quotes
The best doctor prevents illness, an average doctor visits when the illness is imminent, and the unskilled doctor treats your present illness.
Patient, Thou speak’st only the truth
The truth, he speaks, the patient, sick when he's,
'Tis rare for him to tell a pack of lies;
If not, the Diagnosis will go amiss,
The patient knows all this if he is wise.
How can the Doctor know the malady,
Without the patient telling his Symptom?
Diagnosis must precede the Remedy,
A commodity, Health's bought but seldom.
0 patient, Thou better speak truth alone!
The Doctor is no real Demi-God;
Help him help thee, 'fore thy family shall moan;
If thou art ill, Doctor is next to God.
Diseases can dupe the best of Doctors,
A bad history can turn into thine hearse.
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If the patient dies, the doctor has killed him, but if he gets well, the saints have saved him.
A patient going to a doctor for his first visit was asked, "And whom did you consult before coming to me?"
"Only the village druggist," was the answer.
"And what sort of foolish advice did that numbskull give you?" asked the doctor, his tone and manner denoting his contempt for the advice of the layman.
"Oh," replied his patient, with no malice aforethought, "he told me to come and see you."
Down to the Bone
Doctor...
Shouldn't the patient be given an anesthetic?
Something to ease the pain,
And provide comfort during this procedure?
'No!
If there is any pain felt...
They will know that soon enough,
When I prepare the bill.
And this one will leave them in shock,
For the rest of their lives.
I'll prescribe something...
That will keep them coming back again.
There are too many vacations my family and I
Desire to take.
And I have clubhouse fees that are essential,
To keep paid.
And if I don't receive my fee in a timely fashion...
I am the one who bares the brunt end of the suffering!
Hand me the buzz saw, please!
I need to get down to the bone.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Sonnet: Advice to Doctors
No patient’s mine; no patient remains yours;
The patient comes and goes from Doc to Doc;
If he improves, we simply then rejoice,
Though God’s the key to the diagnostic-lock!
All patients ail and expect some relief;
A doctor’s duty is to help him out;
All patients speak the truth; Time is the thief;
To use his knowledge best, all Doctors ought.
Fleece not the poor; cheat not the ones who’re sick;
God is the Healer prime; He uses us;
Off not life’s candle-flame with intact wick;
The Doctor shirking work invites God’s curse!
Lose not Ethics; lose not your morals, Doc!
Like patients, Doctors are part of God’s flock.
8-28-2002
poem by John Celes
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We Let the Illness In
At first, we both make contact
With mucus membranes,
And we let the illness in.
The fevers we may contract
Fester in our brains,
And we let the illness in.
We won't know how to react
While writhing in pain,
And we let the illness in.
Yet, such is the fate we pick,
Choosing to be sick,
And we let the illness in.
poem by Tim Stensloff
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Poison Whiskey
Daddy was a cajun, raised on southern land
And so my kinfolks tell me, was a street-fightin man.
Well, they rushed him down to see the doctor
hey doctor, wont you check his head?
The only thing that was wrong with him
Was johnny walkers red
He drank ole poison whiskey
til it killed him dead.
It happened back in the bayou many years ago
Satan came to take him and he did it real slow
Well, they rushed him back to see the doctor
The doctor just shook his head,
twenty years of rotgut whiskey
Done killed the poor man dead.
He drank ole poison whiskey
til it killed him dead.
Take a tip from me, people... brothers cant you see
Aint no future in ole poison whiskey.
Theyre gonna rush you down to see the doctor,
The doctors gonna shake his head.
The only thing hes gonna tell ya
stop drinkin johnny walkers red
Dont drink poison whiskey, dont you drink it boy.
song performed by by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bizarre Satire
Life is bizarre, received a letter
incriminating a State Doctor for
assaulting a patient; subsequent
indictment of another doctor and
all officers at the police station
where she lodged a complaint
Made it clear this person causes
her own problems, she descries
all in self-righteous indignation -
everybody gets angry when she
opens her mouth to spew forth
a stream of poisonous words
A second letter even more absurd, a
patient claiming a psychiatrist tortured
her diagnosing schizophrenia and the
medication prescribed did not agree with
her system, she demands prosecution
for murderous intent…
I should claim indemnification for suffering
when reading such aberrational material,
luckily it reminds so much of the burlesque
I started laughing, realising that these ab-
solutely marvelous complaints contribute
immensely to the satire of life
I cannot blame them for being mental, knowing
that on a spiritual level, they create their own
problems through their vitriolic attitude to people
who try to do good – this should teach all altruists
you cannot help those who refuse to accept res-
ponsibility for anything that happens to them!
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
quote by Benjamin Franklin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Poison Whisky
(ed king - ronnie vanzant)
Daddy was a cajun, raised on southern land
And so my kinfolks tell me, was a street-fightin man.
Well, they rushed him down to see the doctor
Hey doctor, wont you check his head?
The only thing that was wrong with him
Was johnny walkers red
He drank ole poison whisky
til it killed him dead.
It happened back in the bayou many years ago
Satan came to take him and he did it real slow
Well, they rushed him back to see the doctor
The doctor just shook his head,
Twenty years of rotgut whisky
Done killed the poor man dead.
He drank ole poison whisky
til it killed him dead.
Take a tip from me, people... brothers cant you see
Aint no future in ole poison whisky.
Theyre gonna rush you down to see the doctor,
The doctors gonna shake his head.
The only thing hes gonna tell ya
Stop drinkin johnny walkers red
Dont drink poison whisky, dont you drink it boy.
song performed by by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A doctor is only a doctor when he has killed one or two patients.
Lady & The Doctor
The lady keeps the doctor in a place inside her pocket
The circle made her circle like a wheel
The doctor gives a strange love, but the lady she dont knock it
Shes glad to get a piece of anything
Because the lady needs the medicine ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Doctor needs the lady to see
The doctor keeps the lady in a page in a book
On the history of communicable diseases
The ladys been to school, she lets the doctor play it cool.
He writes the script, she follows his lead.
cause the doctor writes love story so fine
The ladys learned to read between the lines
Sometime
The doctor, he takes housecalls where he visits the animals
In their stalls, shoots them full of juice and then goes home.
The lady hits the supermarket where she rides the aisles in a shopping cart
till she feels shes played enough of the part to set by ooh,
The lady feels its enough to just be good.
But the doctor has his need to be understood.
The doctor feels hes so abused and the lady feels shes so unused
And demands the doctor tends her daily parts.
Ooh, but the doctor just cant do it because so long ago the lady
Blew it, theyre too old now to make another start.
The lady feels the doctors made of stone.
The doctor heart, it just aint fond of ? home?
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor’s Day,2010
Doctor, doctor, carer of sick!
Doctor, doctor, healer on earth;
Doctor, doctor, noble is thine field;
Doctor, doctor, serve thine brethren well!
Doctor, labor all the more;
Clean and dress the chronic sore;
Let no person taint thine name;
Never forget thine great aim.
Doctor, let not wealth allure;
Doctor, lead a life all pure;
Doctor, try to always cure;
God will bless thee on earth, sure.
Dear Dr.B, K, Padmavathi M.D.,
‘Happy Doctor’s Day,2010! ’
From the Dean and staff of IRT, PMC
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-1-2010
poem by John Celes
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Name, not stuff, carries
She charged fees in thousands.
Now she demands in millions
As she has been crowned Miss World.
Your pulse, not her flesh, rates.
23.12.2000, Pmdi
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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When a compassionate Nurse dress your wounds
Doctor told him' You are all right and discharge in the evening.'
The patient begs; ' I would like to stay one more night Doctor.'
'It's up to you.'
He informed his beloved wife; 'Hey! Darling, Doctor wants to see me tomorrow for an urgent matter, no idea? '
And he waits till the kind Nurse's visit to his cubicle room.
But another one came and she is on leave it seems.
He dreamed in the particular night that he met an accident and admitted to the same hospital.
* Human mind is an untamed beast explores new adventures?
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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The Possibility Of Disease
Dance with the possibility of disease,
Validate your health when called by him
Who is the doctor, the doctor of healing.
To establish this is nearly the success
Of a lifetime, of lances and arrows
In need of war and battle.
You are lacking proof of the war
Plaguing the world, the war is where?
It may be hidden or it may be lost
By the side who fought so many wars.
Disease was the obstacle of peace,
Illness has brought us to corruption.
poem by Naveed Akram
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The Old Village Doctor
In the village where he married,
Doctor Eldebury tarried;
And for fourty years our people knew him well.
How he listered us and bled us,
How with calomel he fed us,
Only I am living now to tell.
Though his drugs were deadly, yet his heart was kind,
And with voice tuned cheerily and high,
It was "Up, now, my little fellow! livly's can be!
Come, take your medicine like a little man,
And you'll feel better by-and-by."
Count the mossy marbles in the graveyard!
Our old doctor and his patients, there they lie.
All regradless of the weather,
They are waiting there together,
For that long-sought "better by-and-by."
Some physicians talk in Latin;
Some array their wives in satin;
As for our old doctor, such was not his way.
Gleaning fees of half a dollar,
Would you find a learn-ed scholar
'Mong the mountains, riding night and day?
Saddle-bags behind him, on his "pale white horse,"
To his far off patient see him fly,
Saying "Up, now, my little fellow! livly's can be!
Come, take your medicine like a little man,
And you'll feel better by-and-by."
Oh! the doses he invented!
Us in youth he tormented
With his plasters, and his powders, and his pills;
Water for our thirst denying,
Fevered though we were and dying,
While the cool springs wasted from the hills!
Yet he thought no evil, and he meant no harm:
We had faith--yes, hope when he came nigh
With his "Up, now, my little fellow! livly's can be!
Come, take your medicine like a little man,
And you'll feel better by-and-by."
poem by Henry Clay Work
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