He must not laugh at his own wheeze. A snuff box has no right to sneeze.
quote by Dave Preston
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He must not laugh at his own wheeze: a snuff box has no right to sneeze.
quote by Keith Preston
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Old Man Whiskery-Whee-Kum-Wheeze
Old Man Whiskery-Whee-Kum-Wheeze
Lives 'way up in the leaves o' trees.
An' wunst I slipped up-stairs to play
In Aunty's room, while she 'uz away;
An' I clumbed up in her cushion-chair
An' ist peeked out o' the winder there;
An' there I saw--wite out in the trees--
Old Man Whiskery-Whee-Kum-Wheeze!
An' Old Man Whiskery-Whee-Kum-Wheeze
Would bow an' bow, with the leaves in the breeze,
An' waggle his whiskers an' raggledy hair,
An' bow to me in the winder there!
An' I 'd peek out, an' he'd peek in
An' waggle his whiskers an' bow ag'in,
Ist like the leaves'u'd wave in the breeze--
Old Man Whiskery-Whee-Kum-Wheeze!
An' Old Man Whiskery-Whee-Kum-Wheeze,
Seem-like, says to me: 'See my bees
A-bringin' my dinner? An' see my cup
O' locus'-blossoms they've plum' filled up?'
An' '_Um-yum, honey!_' wuz last he said,
An' waggled his whiskers an' bowed his head;
An' I yells, 'Gimme some, won't you, please,
Old Man Whiskery-Whee-Kum-Wheeze?'
poem by James Whitcomb Riley
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Tale of a Nose
Twas a hard case, that which happened in Lynn.
Haven't heard of it, eh ? Well then, to begin,
There's a Jew down there whom they call " Old Mose,"
Who travels about, and buys old clothes.
Now Mose — which the same is short for Moses —
Had one of the biggest kind of noses:
It had a sort of an instep in it,
And he fed it with snuff about once a minute.
One day he got in a bit of a row
With a German chap who had kissed his frau,
And, trying to punch him a la Mace,
Had his nose cut off close up to his face.
He picked it up from off the ground,
And quickly back in its place 'twas bound,
Keeping the bandage upon his face
Until it had fairly healed in place.
Alas for Mose! 'Twas a sad mistake
Which he in his haste that day did make;
For, to add still more to his bitter cup,
He found he had placed it wrong side up.
"There's no great loss without some gain;"
And Moses says, in a jocular vein,
He arranged it so for taking snuff,
As he never before could get enough.
One thing, by the way, he forgets to add,
Which makes the arrangement rather bad:
Although he can take his snuff with ease,
He has to stand on his head to sneeze!
poem by Charles Follen Adams from Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Snuff The Punk
Snuff the punk
Snuff the punk, Im getting tired of you chump
Bass in your face youll get a taste of p.o.d. funk
When I say punk or chump I dont mean you
Talkin about the devil and his crew
Listen
You came to rob and steal from the helpless
Warriors in christ we stand up for the defensless
So if you can get with this then step to this
And if you say yes sing the p.o.d. checklist
This is a spiritual war, we take no prisoners
Live a life of sin, you dont know what your getting into
You picked a winner, love the sinner, hate the sin dude
We got a plan to understand, heres what we gonna do
Snuff da punk, snuff the punk, snuff em, snuff em
Snuff the punk, snuff the punk
2x
P.o.d. hit one more time for those that dont be knowin
Merrily, merrily, merrily down the stream is how Im flowin
Keep goin, dont stop all props to p.o.d.
P.o.d. the gospel, the gospel that rocks
Rock you, we did it, I think its time to quit it
And when my king is greaking, yo, you better take a seat kid
The shield of god, aint nothin gonna hurt me
And too rough, were gonna get down and dirty
I told you once before homie, this is the real deal
No time to win your soul, its too late, we gotta steal it
Blinded by ignorance use some common sense
Though so tough God challenged my bluff g
I thank the lord the day he snuffed a punk like me
Snuff the punk, p.o.d. snuff the punk
4x
song performed by by P.O.D.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Slot Me Not to Peg In Fields
Slot me not,
To peg in fields...
Appeasing to your comfort,
With a zest to raise your zeal
Not me.
If I want to sneeze out loud!
I'll do it,
When that happens...
In a crowd.
I live not to be so addressed.
Within your limits.
To bring a sweetened peace to your nest.
Not me.
If I want to sneeze out loud!
I'll do it,
When that happens...
In a crowd.
Living with a meaning,
To have others pleased,
Makes that for me a nightmare...
Screamed out from my dreams.
Not me.
If I want to sneeze out loud!
I'll do it,
When that happens...
In a crowd.
You may wish,
To high profile.
Quick to grin...
Or give wide smiles.
But I...
Am not one to do charades.
Or sit pretending,
I'm living to be Grade A.
Not me.
If I want to sneeze out loud!
I'll do it,
When that happens...
In a crowd.
Slot me not,
To peg in fields...
Appeasing to your comfort,
With a zest to raise your zeal.
No not me.
If I want to sneeze out loud!
I'll do it,
When that happens...
In a crowd.
I've earned to do what I please.
And...
If I want to sneeze out loud!
I'll do it,
When that happens...
In a crowd.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Gargoyles
Pet gargoyles grunt and snore and cough,
But sadly you can't turn them off!
The belch and wheeze and sneeze and spit,
I cannot bear the thought of it!
They slurp and burp, they howl and growl,
They moan and groan; they smell so foul!
Gargoyles gargle, and pass lots of gas,
Their gas it smells like sassafras!
If you get a gargoyle have no fear...
From their FARTS you can make root-beer!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sense Of Humor For Reece Kay
i laugh so hard about your joke
i'll take the hints
of the sneeze and the orgasms
and the tissue
and some pepper
the woman on the the train with you,
now laugh,
i also laugh with you, yet not knowing me
really
we are miles apart, and you with your
present problems
losing one of your identities
this danny reynolds, you tell me
i do not have they say
this sense of humor,
Loll
Lol,
it is unjust to say the least,
in my country one day
i was admitted to the maternity hospital
on bloated stomach
filled with laughter
they think
i am pregnant.
(ulol!)
oh, lol!
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Snuff at a wake is fine if there's nobody sneezing over the snuff box.
Shanghai Jar
Standing in a Shanghai Jar
water trickles down my nose
debris falls upon my head
mud builds up around my toes.
My clothes are sodden, caked with mould,
water splashes round my knees.
The air is misty damp and cold,
I cough and splutter, wheeze and sneeze.
What am I doing in this zone
holed up in this dreadful pot?
This is my own my very own
though why or how I have forgot.
Outside, the sun spins through the heavens.
The stars, like gold dust, fill up space.
The cosmic wind slides through the void.
Somewhere, out there, my own true face?
poem by Brian Taylor
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fool-Youngens
Me an' Bert an' Minnie-Belle
Knows a joke, an' we won't tell!
No, we don't--'cause we don't know
_Why_ we got to laughin' so;
But we got to laughin' so,
'We ist kep' a-laughin'.
Wind wuz blowin' in the tree--
An' wuz only ist us three
Playin' there; an' ever' one
Ketched each other, like we done,
Squintin' up there at the sun
Like we wuz a-laughin'.
Nothin' funny anyway;
But I laughed, an' so did they--
An' we all three laughed, an' nen
Squint' our eyes an' laugh' again:
Ner we didn't ist _p'ten'_--
We wuz _shore-'nough_ laughin'.
'We ist laugh' an' laugh', tel Bert
Say he _can't_ quit an' it hurt.
Nen I _howl_, an' Minnie-Belle
She tear up the grass a spell
An' ist stop her yeers an' _yell_
Like she'd _die_ a-laughin'.
Never sich fool-youngens yit!
Nothin' funny,--not a bit!--
But we laugh' so; tel we whoop'
Purt'-nigh like we have the croup--
All so hoarse we'd wheeze an' whoop
An' ist _choke_ a-laughin'.
poem by James Whitcomb Riley
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Meddlesome Matty
One ugly trick has often spoil'd
The sweetest and the best;
Matilda, though a pleasant child,
One ugly trick possess'd,
Which, like a cloud before the skies,
Hid all her better qualities.
Sometimes she'd lift the tea-pot lid,
To peep at what was in it,
Or tilt the kettle, if you did
But turn your back a minute.
In vain you told her not to touch,
Her trick of meddling grew so much.
Her grandmamma went out one day,
And by mistake she laid
Her spectacles and snuff-box gay
Too near the little maid;
"Ah! well," thought she, "I'll try them on,
As soon as grandmamma is gone. "
Forthwith she placed upon her nose
The glasses large and wide;
And looking round, as I suppose,
The snuff-box too she spied:
"Oh! what a pretty box is that;
I'll open it," said little Matt.
"I know that grandmamma would say,
'Don't meddle with it, dear;'
But then, she's far enough away,
And no one else is near:
Besides, what can there be amiss
In opening such a box as this? "
So thumb and finger went to work
To move the stubborn lid,
And presently a mighty jerk
The mighty mischief did;
For all at once, ah! woful case,
The snuff came puffing in her face.
Poor eyes, and nose, and mouth, beside
A dismal sight presented;
In vain, as bitterly she cried,
Her folly she repented.
In vain she ran about for ease;
She could do nothing now but sneeze.
She dash'd the spectacles away,
To wipe her tingling eyes,
And as in twenty bits they lay,
Her grandmamma she spies.
"Heyday! and what's the matter now?"
Says grandmamma, with lifted brow.
Matilda, smarting with the pain,
And tingling still, and sore,
Made many a promise to refrain
From meddling evermore.
And 'tis a fact, as I have heard,
She ever since has kept her word.
poem by Ann Taylor
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Return of the forest
War …………………!
War …………………! !
War to the dwellers
Gain ………………….!
Gain ………………….! !
Gain from the vain of inheritance
tranquil and madly ready
Wasn’t a massacre.
War ………………..!
War: joint-sperm to replenish
On the soil of mute.
Gain ………………….!
Gain; they are exiled and wont return.
Lia, eldest honoured to keep the peace.
Egwe, youngest, Gloried to care.
War ……………..!
War ……………...! !
War, their peace troubled to escape.
War, ‘’Warri’’ destroyed and no one to cook with the fire
Slattered and prisioned tittles.
War ………………!
War ………………! !
War, Gain, gain, gain.
These enemies of pacifism
wait for no age,
dwellers of all land.
To claim, to reign and gain.
Little wheeze close to the prewinkle.
sneeze their repent.
poem by Ebi Robert
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Laughter Holding Both His Sides
Ay, thou varlet! Laugh away!
All the world's a holiday!
Laugh away, and roar and shout
Till thy hoarse tongue lolleth out!
Bloat thy cheeks, and bulge thine eyes
Unto bursting; pelt thy thighs
With thy swollen palms, and roar
As thou never hast before!
Lustier! Wilt thou! Peal on peal!
Stiflest? Squat and grind thy heel--
Wrestle with thy loins, and then
Wheeze thee whiles, and whoop again!
poem by James Whitcomb Riley
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter XXII: Laugh
there's laugh, forced laugh
laugh, gentle rejection without word
laugh, looking sympathy with laugh
laugh but actually doesn't laugh
hiding anger, hiding pain
cheerful laugh but alone inside
why you try hard to impress people?
tired and wounded more
laughing your foolish joke
and crying life in the dark room
laugh for yourself
laugh with your heart
and you'll never regret to try an honest laugh
poem by Maria Sudibyo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Coughs and Sneezes
I hate it when I sneeze, these days,
It lifts my fringe, my curls, my greys;
It blasts my ears and rattles my head,
But at least it gets me out of bed.
I hate it when I cough, these days,
It hurts my chest, my eyes o'erglaze;
It's hard to breathe, I feel like dead,
I think I'd rather sneeze instead.
(Written Sept 2012)
poem by John Carter Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dead Souls
The first rays of sunshine,
Spread a warm welcome glow,
Sugary amber light so delicately fine,
Sifting through my window,
Casting The Darkness from my mind,
With the hue of a refracted rainbow,
Dreams interrupted by spectrum squeeze,
Of Dawn's sensational forenoon show.
I awake floating on a summer breeze,
Riding a rippling wave of velvet heat,
Wind aroused by pietistic sneeze,
Apple blossoms whispered and coaxed from retreat,
As trees are shifted and uplifted by divine wheeze.
Rousing once dead souls,
From lucid lanquidity,
Birthing us like spring foals,
Slumber stirred beside me,
Awakened amongst the scented flowers,
With renewed esprit and energy,
Refreshed for the daylight hours,
Enabling you to walk the world happily.
poem by Dale Mullock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Laugh Clown Laugh
Laugh Clown laugh,
that's what they want me to do.
I guess I'm doing something right
because this Clown made you laugh too.
Laugh Clown laugh,
make everyone laugh real hard.
Besides, Who would it hurt?
Will anyone notice
how it has scarred?
Laugh Clown laugh,
but only for a while,
at least until you see
that the humor is in your denial.
poem by Cecelia Warner
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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She Hits Back
(doo-oo, doo-oo, doo-oo, doo-oo)
(doo-oo, doo-oo, doo-oo, doo-oo)
My ears getting tired of listening all the time,
Theyve been talking lots of garbage all their lives.
And suddenly they decided to ring one back,
Ring-ring, ring-ring,
My ears are ringing like a warning.
My eyes getting tired of looking all the time,
Theyve been talking a lot of winking all their lives.
And finally the decided to flash one back,
Flash-flash, flash-flash,
My eyes are flashing like a warning.
My nose is getting tired of sniffing all the time,
Shes been taking memphis blues all her life.
And surely she decided to sneeze one back,
Sneeze-sneeze, sneeze-sneeze,
My nose is sneezing like a warning.
My bodys getting tired of taking all the time,
Shes been taking lot of cornballs all her life.
Suddenly she decided to hit one back,
Bang-bang, bang-bang,
She hits back like a warning.
(she hits back like a warning)
Ring-ring, flash-flash, sneeze-sneeze, bang-bang,
She hits back like a warning.
Shes gonna hit back, (yeah)
Shes gonna kick back, (yeah)
You wont know what hit you
Till you see her flashing. (yeah)
Shes gonna hit back, (yeah)
Shes gonna kick back, (yeah)
You wont know what hit you
Till you see her head flashing. (yeah-yeah)
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Over With A Revolver
It's already over.
Revolver in hand so steady.
Oh my god I'm so ready.
All I can see a bulls eye right above your head.
Trust me when I say your dead.
Snuff out before you even know what's going on.
An absence of all emotion.
Closure too so many traumatic events.
From the mountain into the great valley is the descent.
The weight is so heavy.
Yet I'm still dragging it.
Sooner or latter we all have let it go.
And this time it is all I know.
It's already over.
Revolver in hand so steady.
Oh my god I'm so ready.
All I can see a bulls eye right above your head.
Trust me when I say your dead.
Snuff out before you even know what's going on.
An absence of all emotion.
Such devotion has been through such a roller coaster ride.
An ocean tells me secrets of making a disposal.
Time to get rid of the time when you made your proposal.
An identity I must hide.
Let smoke and mirrors reflect the biggest lie.
An illusion within the eyes.
It's already over.
It's already over.
Oh my god it's already over.
Revolver in hand so steady.
Oh my god I'm so ready.
All I can see a bulls eye right above your head.
Trust me when I say your dead.
Snuff out before you even know what's going on.
An absence of all emotion.
I blame no one.
I blame everyone.
A fault can not be defined by a single event.
An preposterous idea that it was something that you could prevent.
The poison was already in my system.
It spoke in demon tongues.
A evil energy already breathing among the living.
My heart was already gone.
It's already over.
Revolver in hand so steady.
Oh my god I'm so ready.
All I can see a bulls eye right above your head.
Trust me when I say your dead.
Snuff out before you even know what's going on.
An absence of all emotion.
It's already over.
It's already over.
Oh my god it's already over.
Revolver in hand so steady.
Oh my god I'm so ready.
All I can see a bulls eye right above your head.
Trust me when I say your dead.
Snuff out before you even know what's going on.
An absence of all emotion.
Of all emotion.
The tears will never fall again.
A mother is cradling a already forgotten grave.
The death to the foolish moth willing to enter flame.
A forsaken child of god is one that does not know he has sinned.
A sentence of unknown hurt and pain.
An experience of the insane.
He sits upon the killing fields with bloody hands.
For him this is no game and it will have no easy ending.
It's already over.
It's already over.
Oh my god it's already over.
Revolver in hand so steady.
Oh my god I'm so ready.
All I can see a bulls eye right above your head.
Trust me when I say your dead.
Snuff out before you even know what's going on.
An absence of all emotion.
Of all emotion.
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Happy Way
Live life laugh
Every day...
Laugh wanted every
Time each theday...
Laugh is gift
For the life
So -
Laugh for your
Mistakes and your
Funny mind working way...
Laugh is taken
The life somethy
Day today's....
Don't laugh
Another person
Life the way...
Simply laugh
And making life
Your happy way...
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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