Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
quote by W.C. Fields
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
I Gots A Weasel
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
Jumped in.....
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
Said somethin to show me the blimp, babe
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
I got me this big weasel out!
Weasel, teazel pleazel pleazel
Got a weasel its a teazel mah pleazel
Got a weasel teazel my pleazel got a weasel
Got a weasel its a pleazal mah bay!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
It come through the roof in a blimp!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
Weasel flying upstairs in the air!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah weasel -- got a weasel
I got the weasel jumped in the air!
Weasel, teazel pleazel pleazel
Got a weasel its a teazel mah pleazel
Got a weasel pleazel my pleazel pleazel weasel
Got a weasel its a pleazal mah bay!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
Weasel flyin around up in the ceiling!
Got a weasel -- its a teazel -- mah pleazel -- mah pleazel -- got a weasel
He jumped upstairs and down again!
Yeah!
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Weasel Face
Twenty four hours ago
No one could help me
I'm alone in life
No where to go
So I picked up the phone
Called out for help
Some one please help me
I'm afraid and alone
Weasel face
Weasel face
Weasel face
It's way past midnight
T.V. set is on
It's my only friend
One crisis after another
Ain't no loser or quitter
It's all or nothin' baby
'Cause we fought so hard
For our piece of this world
Weasel face
Weasel face
Weasel face
song performed by by Ramones from Halfway To Sanity
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
quote by W. Clement Stone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Squelch The Weasel
Squelch the little weasel, crush him before he spawns
Break it to me gently, but with merriment and song
Squelch the little weasel, juice him as he bleeds
Feed him to the many, for thoust their souls shall weep
Sipping of the sunray blading in the earth
Evolving was the nectar given to the weasel birth
I was just a puppet until the clouds caved in
Bless me now you are sacred my flesh betwixt my skin
Sipping of the sunray blading in the earth
Evolving was the nectar given to the weasel birth
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On The Cork Hurlers Strike
The best hurlers will not be playing for the Rebel County this year
At least not under coach Gerald McCarthy for Cork fans such sad news to hear
The Liam McCarthy Cup this year won't be coming to the hurling City by the Lee
Without Cork's best hurling only half dressed as hurling fans all would agree
Cork hurling fans not very happy to them hurling more than a game
Some blame the hurlers and others blame Gerald and others the County Board blame
Gerald has no notion of resigning and Cork's best under him will not play
And the loser is the game of hurling and that does seem a sad thing to say
Cork will have a hurling team in the League and All Ireland Championship but their best the red jersey will not wear
And for any hope of sporting success as we do know a team would need every top player
And in 2009 Cork will only make up the numbers though the game of hurling will go on
For hurling does live on in Ireland though great players to and from the game have come and gone
In 2009 Cork will not have their best team at least now it's looking that way
In a sad time for Cork and for hurling in Ireland and that seems a sad thing to say.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Dove And Weasel
He was solitary, cruel n' tough
A weasel "Bad to the bone"
He, gentle, wise n' downy soft
"The dove of love" 'twas widely known
One day the dove came upon the beast
Touched down lightly on the ground
Weasel thought "I'll eat this tiny feast"
As hungrily he circled round n' round
Before he could pounce they locked eyes
Drool dripping off weasel's pointy chin
But something happened much to his surprise
The dove began to softly sing n' spin
'I bring peace n' goodwill to you" He cooed
Weasel froze in place n' stared in wonder
"I've come to teach you humility n' gratitude"
"To devour me my friend would be to blunder"
"I'm a weasel n' must do what weasels do"
"You're just another meal to me" he said"
"If they were here I'd eat your parents too"
"You'll have no need to sing n' spin once dead"
Undeterred the fearless dove sang on
"How sweet it is to love you precious one"
"I seek not be your folly or Rubicon"
"Come sing n' spin with me my son"
Hearing this the weasel began to cry
He begged forgiveness for his many sins
The dove moved close n' dried his eyes
Whispered softly;
"This is when your life truly begins"
Just then the Dove became a Living Jesus
The weasel became the first human being
The man fell down n' begged forgiveness
"How dare I destroy such a precious thing"
The Lord smiled n' said "Now you know,
"How peace n' love compel a soul to grow"
ROTMS
View writings, images and video by ROTMS at;
rotms.blogspot.com
poem by Ray Lucero
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Girls Just Want To Have Lunch
[parody of girls just want to have fun by cyndi lauper]
I know to keep a woman satisfied.
When I whip out my diners card their eyes get so wide.
Theyre always in the mood for something to munch.
Ah girls, they wanna have lunch.
Ah, girls just wanna have...
Thats all they really want,
Some lunch.
Dont ask em to dinner
Or breakfast or brunch,
cause girls, they wanna have lunch.
Ah, girls just wanna have lunch.
Girls they want, wanna have lunch, girls, wanna have...
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Cabin Tale
THE YOUNG MASTER ASKS FOR A STORY
Whut you say, dah? huh, uh! chile,
You 's enough to dribe me wile.
Want a sto'y; jes' hyeah dat!
Whah' 'll I git a sto'y at?
Di'n' I tell you th'ee las' night?
Go 'way, honey, you ain't right.
I got somep'n' else to do,
'Cides jes' tellin' tales to you.
Tell you jes' one? Lem me see
Whut dat one's a-gwine to be.
When you 's ole, yo membry fails;
Seems lak I do' know no tales.
Well, set down dah in dat cheer,
Keep still ef you wants to hyeah.
Tek dat chin up off yo' han's,
Set up nice now. Goodness lan's!
Hol' yo'se'f up lak yo' pa.
Bet nobidy evah saw
Him scrunched down lak you was den--
High-tone boys meks high-tone men.
Once dey was a ole black bah,
Used to live 'roun' hyeah some whah
In a cave. He was so big
He could ca'y off a pig
Lak you picks a chicken up,
Er yo' leetles' bit o' pup.
An' he had two gread big eyes,
Jes' erbout a saucer's size.
Why, dey looked lak balls o' fiah
Jumpin' 'roun' erpon a wiah
W'en dat bah was mad; an' laws!
But you ought to seen his paws!
Did I see 'em? How you 'spec
I 's a-gwine to ricollec'
Dis hyeah ya'n I 's try'n' to spin
Ef you keeps on puttin' in?
You keep still an' don't you cheep
Less I 'll sen' you off to sleep.
Dis hyeah bah 'd go trompin' 'roun'
Eatin' evahthing he foun';
No one could n't have a fa'm
But dat bah 'u'd do' em ha'm;
And dey could n't ketch de scamp.
Anywhah he wan'ed to tramp.
Dah de scoun'el 'd mek his track,
Do his du't an' come on back.
He was sich a sly ole limb,
Traps was jes' lak fun to him.
Now, down neah whah Mistah Bah
Lived, dey was a weasel dah;
But dey was n't fren's a-tall
Case de weasel was so small.
An' de bah 'u'd, jes' fu' sass,
Tu'n his nose up w'en he 'd pass.
Weasels 's small o' cose, but my!
Dem air animiles is sly.
So dis hyeah one says, says he,
'I 'll jes' fix dat bah, you see.'
So he fixes up his plan
An' hunts up de fa'merman.
When de fa'mer see him come,
He 'mence lookin' mighty glum,
An' he ketches up a stick;
But de weasel speak up quick:
'Hol' on, Mistah Fa'mer man,
I wan' 'splain a little plan.
Ef you waits, I 'll tell you whah
An' jes' how to ketch ol' Bah.
But I tell yow now you mus'
Gin me one fat chicken fus'.'
Den de man he scratch his haid,
Las' he say, 'I'll mek de trade.'
So de weasel et his hen,
Smacked his mouf and says, 'Well, den,
Set yo' trap an' bait ternight,
An' I 'll ketch de bah all right.'
Den he ups an' goes to see
Mistah Bah, an' says, says he:
'Well, fren' Bah, we _ain't_ been fren's,
But ternight ha'd feelin' 'en's.
Ef you ain't too proud to steal,
We kin git a splendid meal.
Cose I would n't come to you,
But it mus' be done by two;
Hit's a trap, but we kin beat
All dey tricks an' git de meat.'
'Cose I 's wif you,' says de bah,
'Come on, weasel, show me whah.'
Well, dey trots erlong ontwell
Dat air meat beginned to smell
In de trap. Den weasel say:
'Now you put yo' paw dis way
While I hol' de spring back so,
Den you grab de meat an' go.'
Well, de bah he had to grin
Ez he put his big paw in,
Den he juked up, but--kerbing!
Weasel done let go de spring.
'Dah now,' says de weasel, 'dah,
I done cotched you, Mistah Bah!'
O, dat bah did sno't and spout,
Try'n' his bestes' to git out,
But de weasel say, 'Goo'-bye!
Weasel small, but weasel sly.'
Den he tu'ned his back an' run
Tol' de fa'mer whut he done.
So de fa'mer come down dah,
Wif a axe and killed de bah.
Dah now, ain't dat sto'y fine?
Run erlong now, nevah min'.
Want some mo', you rascal, you?
No, suh! no, suh! dat 'll do.
poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Miss Piggy regrets..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
That tastelessly named flu’s got her
(She forgot to wash her front trotter…) so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
It’s a swine of a stroke of bad luck:
Her eyelashes, she sneezed them unstuck… so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today…
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today, madam..
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today:
She’s all pink from her snout to her face;
Her mascara’s all over the place… so
Miss Piggy regrets she’s unable to lunch today..
Why not try the lamb today, madam…?
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sinking
You're on a wide open ocean
No one around you for miles
You're thinkin' of drinkin' on water
While you're sailing the Nile
No one to stop you on your way
Flyin' by goes a stork
You decide to bring your oars in now
But accidently knock out the cork
Row your boat to shore
'Cause it is leaking and you're still drinking
Unless you cork the hole
You won't be sailing
song performed by by No Doubt from No Doubt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Independent Man
Now who could take you off to tiny life
In one room or in two rooms or in three
And cork you smartly, like the flask of wine
You are? Not any woman. Not a wife.
You'd let her twirl you, give her a good glee
Showing your leaping ruby to a friend.
Though twirling would be meek. Since not a cork
Could you allow, for being made so free.
A woman would be wise to think it well
If once a week you only rang the bell.
poem by Gwendolyn Brooks
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Everything Right Is Wrong Again
Everything right is wrong again
Just like in the long long trailer
All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving
And nobody would stop to save her
Wake me when its over, touch my face
Tell me every word has been erased
Dont you want to know the reason
Why the cupboards not appealing
Dont you get the feeling that
Everything thats right is wrong again
Youre a weasel overcome with dinge
Weasel overcome but not before the damage done
The healing doesnt stop the feeling
Everything right is wrong again
Just like in the long long trailer
All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving
And nobody would stop to save her
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
The song is over now
Everything right is wrong again
Every movement false, every four is waltz again
Every five and dimes been gained and spent
Tell me that you like my float upstream
Draw the line dividing laugh and scream
You know everything that I know so I know
Youve heard the voice that makes the silent noise
That says that
Everything thats right is wrong again
Youre a weasel overcome with dinge
Weasel overcome but not before the damage done
The healing doesnt stop the feeling
Everything right is wrong again
Just like in the long long trailer
All the dishes got broken and the car kept driving
And nobody would stop to save her
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
And now the song is over now
The song is over now
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Coffee Dream
Although it’s only one hour till lunch -
my stomach won’t wait.
Non-stop growling for the past two hours
has gotten the best of me.
Besides, my taste buds
are ready to murder for a cup of coffee.
Should I say ‘murder’ in a courthouse?
I discovered myself in the eating lounge
with a coffee machine that still doesn’t work.
How unfair that I can’t leave the building
for a quick cup of coffee till lunch.
So, I resort to having the small salad and orange
that was to be my lunch.
Still, I want that coffee!
I’ll take it boiling hot
right out of the pot.
So now I look forward
to when then release us for lunch.
I plan to run down the street and get
a very large cup of coffee -
maybe two or three.
I desperately need my caffeine fix for today.
Miss Otis Regrets
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today, madam,
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
She is sorry to be delayed,
But last evening down in lover's lane she strayed, madam,
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
When she woke up and found that her dream of love was gone, madam,
She ran to the man who had led her so far astray,
And from under her velvet gown,
She drew a gun and shot her love down, madam,
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
When the mob came and got her and dragged her from the jail, madam,
They strung her upon the old willow across the way,
And the moment before she died,
She lifted up her lovely head and cried, madam......
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today.
Miss otis regrets, she's unable to lunch today
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Setanta O Hailpin
He played hurling for Cork just a few years ago
And as an an Aussie Rules footballer his legend now grow
He now plays full back for Carlton for him a remarkable feat
Young Setanta O Hailpin is an amazing athlete,
Truth is stranger than fiction some are known to say
And in Setanta's case it does seem that way
A top hurler who has become a top player in Australian rules football
What did seem impossible not impossible at all,
The hurler who made it playing Australian Rules Football
In decades from now sports writers will recall
To the young man from Cork credit is only due
He followed his dream and his dream did come true
And though such a fairy tale story may not happen again
A huge loss to Cork hurling is the Carlton's Blues gain.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lunch? You gotta be kidding. Lunch is for wimps.
quote by Stanley Weiser
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rue Family
April makes no difference
to the Lavalle cork tree
imported from central Japan;
to the Sakhalin cork,
its diamond bark
rising into branches
from a trunk of plated sand.
In the city park, this family of trees
wears its rue as buds
traveled into leaf each year—
predictably, invisibly,
as your sister wears hers
on a South Dakota highway:
there behind her knee, tempering
the air above her hand.
poem by Christina Pugh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I have many memories of waking up to eat breakfast that my mother carefully prepared for us and her saying, what do y'all want for lunch, and as we're eating lunch, what do y'all want for dinner? It's always about the next meal.
March of the Wheelchairs
In Dakota land lunch is dinner
and dinner supper while lunch is lunch,
as traditions from farmlands go.
Now breakfast is at 6, lunch at 9
dinner at noon, lunch at 3
supper at 7, everything timed.
Day in and day out, better not be late.
Weather fickle, eating ain’t!
Farm traditions, genetics ‘grained.
No surprise, nursing meals,
wheelchairs marching, internal time,
largo moves, staccato fades.
Day in, day out…they’re not late
Wheelchairs marching, marching in
farm traditions, genetics ‘grained.
Weather fickle….eating ain’t!
Hope God keeps the schedule,
or has… a special dining hall.
As these Wheelchairs… arrive
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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