He who was left by the bald is taken by the hairy.
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Of the Family
Hairy, Hairy, quite contrary
sat upon a stool.
Came the kindly wombat fairy
from the Fairy pool.
Said to Hairy, have a sherrie
makes the bowels loose,
Hairy thought it rather scary
maybe, too obtuse.
Hairy took a wife named Mary
fat she was and round
built a cosy, visionary
log home on the ground.
Home was small but Hairy loved it
'twas a sturdy log.
Found a lichen rug and shoved it
in to warm the frog.
Frog had been cast from his quarters
by his next of kin.
Sealed the wombat home with mortar
and they took him in.
Winter came and snow kept falling,
hibernate they did,
under Lichen there was balling
made another kid.
poem by Hairy Wombat
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Of the Family
Hairy, Hairy, quite contrary
sat upon a stool.
Came the kindly wombat fairy
from the Fairy pool.
Said to Hairy, have a sherrie
makes the bowels loose,
Hairy thought it rather scary
maybe, too obtuse.
Hairy took a wife named Mary
fat she was and round
built a cosy, visionary
log home on the ground.
Home was small but Hairy loved it
'twas a sturdy log.
Found a lichen rug and shoved it
in to warm the frog.
Frog had been cast from his quarters
by his next of kin.
Sealed the wombat home with mortar
and they took him in.
Winter came and snow kept falling,
hibernate they did,
under Lichen there was balling
made another kid.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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There was a bald lady named Mary
Who hated her wig - it was scary;
And, under stress and emotion
O'erdid the hair lotion
Now all of her body is hairy.
(Written Oct 2012)
quote by by John Carter Brown
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Basically, they had asked me if I would shave my head or wear a bald cap. I said look, if you are doing a series for five years I would want to shave my hair because I would go bald with all the gum and glue from the bald cap.
quote by Persis Khambatta
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A hairy man's a geary man, but a hairy wife's a witch.
Leise Rieselt Der Schnee
Leise rieselt der schnee,
Still und starr liegt der see.
Winterlich glnzet der wald:
Freue dich, christkind kommt bald!
In den herzen ists warm;
Still schweigt kummer und harm.
Sorge des lebens verhallt:
Freue dich, christkind kommt bald.
Bald ist stille nacht.
Friede auf erden erwacht.
Horch nur, wie lieblich es schallt:
Freue dich, christkind kommt bald
song performed by by Boney M.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bald as the bare mountain tops are bald, with a baldness full of grandeur.
quote by Matthew Arnold
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You don't find me too bald, do you? Old, and bald, and with a belly?
quote by Julio Iglesias
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Grand-stranding
With little success at hair retention
I've one strand left of small dimension
Scalped this way, I'm not enthralled
One-stranded now, I'm follicle-y bald
It's hair raising to feel alone and bereft
Deserted by all it's brothers who left
This ordeal has the hair standing there pining
Atop my bald scalp, so hairless-ly shining
The lonesome strand just keeps on grieving
Missing its mates, since their mass leaving
So soulful and sad, it can't seem to find
On the scalp of this lad, a hair-piece of mind
My dome once covered with hair-filled density
Has no foreseeable future-tense-ity
For so loyally standing hair-ly at hand
I'll always be grateful to that one last grand strand
poem by Stanley Cooper
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A Hairy Fairy
In life, there are things we never expect to see
and a very large hairy fairy
with Pancho Villa moustache is one of them.
This one flew into my garden and squashed all my roses
on his bad landing on that fateful day.
Every time he waved his supposedly magic wand,
everything went bottom up.
The roses he tried to mend
had their flowers in the ground
and their roots pointing skyward in the air.
It got that bad I had to replant everyone.
I shuddered to think what other magic
he might have up his sleeve.
The big hairy fairy dressed in a short Toto
spread out his wings to say goodbye and fly away.
He never got no more than three feet off the ground
before he again came crashing down
squashing all my tulips this time.
Enough is enough you’re ruining garden.
Do you realise all the hard work I have put in.
The hairy fairy looked at me
and then started to cry.
No body loves me, even the fairies kicked me out
because I am different from them.
Being a soft heated fool I am
I invited him in for a cup of tea,
but everything he sat on broke
and now I was stuck with
a ten ton hairy fairy as a house guest.
As time went on my replacement, furniture
was costing me a packet.
Then one day I woke up and the big hairy fairy was gone,
now I kinda miss him.
However, saying that
I can start to rebuild what was my happy home again
and hope with luck that big hairy fairy does not come back again.
Then in my garden,
I heard an almighty thump
and looked out the window.
In my agony I moaned,
Oh no. He is back again.
poem by David Harris
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Cravat Or Turkey Neck
The visible signs of ageing
the bald head
I've been nearly bald
since my early
twenties
the Friar Tuck grey hair
the last remnant
of a great teenage
Elvis pompadour
the turkey neck
I could disguise
with a cravat
but that's not me.
poem by Vince Gullaci
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Picture for Me
I have a picture.
It's a fairy
That I want to mount
..in a frame...
To capture
That hairy fairy.
Hey! !
Don't accuse me of being bent.
Nairy a fairy.
Even one less hairy
And scary
Will ever get their way with me.
So you see
I just want to mount
...my fairy...
poem by George BernardBloodyShaw
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The Oubit
It was an hairy oubit, sae proud he crept alang,
A feckless hairy oubit, and merrily he sang-
'My Minnie bad me bide at hame until I won my wings;
I show her soon my soul's aboon the warks o' creeping things.'
This feckless hairy oubit cam' hirpling by the linn,
A swirl o' wind cam' doun the glen, and blew that oubit in:
Oh when he took the water, the saumon fry they rose,
And tigg'd him a' to pieces sma', by head and tail and toes.
Tak' warning then, young poets a', by this poor oubit's shame;
Though Pegasus may nicher loud, keep Pegasus at hame.
Oh haud your hands frae inkhorns, though a' the Muses woo;
For critics lie, like saumon fry, to mak' their meals o' you.
Eversley, 1851.
poem by Charles Kingsley
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Hairy Tits
You're mine to feel and touch,
I love your hairy tits,
I love you very much
And worship you to bits!
And when you feel my crutch
I get the age-old itch,
I like you very much,
I love your hairy tits!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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I Saw Your Hairy Chest
The first person said:
'I saw your hairy chest that is why,
I came to you last night and we made love together';
The second person said;
'Why'? !
Then the first person replied:
'It is because i love men with hairy chest and,
I am ever ready to sleep with any of them'! !
And this was the conversation i heard among two people;
Then i said to myself: 'Love is too blind at times'.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Astray
and times move so fast, and now there does not seem to be any
and once it felt that there was more than plenty
I do believe that something somewhere sent me
To you, astray, and the bald raging flame of your heart is making me stay.
and I admit, that I have spent some time in confusion
Not knowing what is or is not illusion
Riddled with myself and destruction
Astray, and the bald raging flame of your heart is making me stay.
and flux, we move, crawl across the sky like the weather
To think that she once thought that I was clever
But I was do or die not now or never
Astray, still the bald raging flame of your heart is making me stay.
song performed by by I Am Kloot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Legend Of Big Foot
A hairy man once roamed the earth,
a hairy thing, was he from birth,
the years would come, the years would go,
each year that passed, his hair would grow,
it grew so thick, his mum dispaired,
yet she kept trimming off his hair,
til sissors worn to nubs one day,
he shucked his clothes, and ran away,
his back, his bum, his chest, his head,
was covered with thick hair, it's said,
no need for clothes, so he wore none,
people would laugh, and he would run,
no runner born on Earth could beat,
this hairy critter with big feet,
he slept by day and roamed by night,
for cruel folk, had made him shy,
quite good in heart was he, bigfoot,
he never stole, he never took,
one day while he munched watercress,
he found a maiden in distress,
amazed, he looked upon her form,
her feet were bare, her dress was torn,
he towered over her and stared,
at all this chick's excessive hair,
he helped her up, not one word said,
he touched her hand, and smiled instead,
hand-in-hand, they walked from there,
to go where people could not stare,
the legend of big-foot began,
the night two hairy people ran,
into the lovely forrest green,
To mostly lived their lives, unseen
poem by Elizabeth Lindberg
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The Scholars
BALD heads forgetful of their sins,
Old, learned, respectable bald heads
Edit and annotate the lines
That young men, tossing on their beds,
Rhymed out in love's despair
To flatter beauty's ignorant ear.
All shuffle there; all cough in ink;
All wear the carpet with their shoes;
All think what other people think;
All know the man their neighbour knows.
Lord, what would they say
Did their Catullus walk that way?
poem by William Butler Yeats
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Wild Man From Borneo
(kinky friedman)
I'm the star of captain midnite's travelin' show
Came to this circus many moons ago.
My mother's in your storybooks, she loved a jungle king,
Left me standin' here alone inside the center ring.
In a bamboo cage i crossed the ragin' sea,
A livin' page torn clean from history.
A hairy, scary, legendary screamin' souvenir,
Now don't you come too close to me, don't you come too near.
I'm the wild man from borneo,
The wild man from borneo.
You come to see what you wanna see,
Ah, you come to see but you never come to know.
The tattooed lady left the circus train
Lost all of her pictures in the rain.
I wonder if you're happy, i wonder if you're free
I wonder if you'll ever know the mark you left on me.
I'm the wild man from borneo, the wild man.
You come to see what you wanna see,
Ah, you come to see but you never come to know.
We come to see what we want to see,
Oh, we come to see, but we never come to know.
song performed by by Kinky Friedman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Ping Spike after Spike Milligan A Thousand Hairy Savages
Ten thousand airy AP raps
w[r]itting down ra[n]t hunch
gobbledy-gook, yap yap,
crun[t]ch mu[n]ch punch
... core cause caws
(19 January 2007 revised 27 November 2008 robi03_1579_mill02_0002 PWX_IXX)
A Thousand Hairy Savages
A Thousand hairy savages
Sitting down to lunch
Gobble gobble glup glup
Munch munch munch.
Spike Milligan 1918_2002
poem by Jonathan Robin
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