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Silly; Gross: Fart!
Having just exclaimed 'what can I write about? ' I heard a muffled noise,
...followed by a pungent cheesy smell which FEW of your ilk enjoys.
Now farts have gotten a bad reputation....along with burps and belches.
In our society they are THINGS...which a more 'polite' person often squelches.
And I'd say I'm one of the 'more polite'...in my normal daily life; that is except when I'm alone...with my loving, understanding WIFE.
Why even my wife farts on rare occasions.....Don't let her know I've told.
But she generally does it behind a CLOSED door. Unlike me, …she's not so bold.
So 'FART' is what I'll write about tonight, .... stretched out in this chair.
You'll excuse me please if I let one loose...though it MAY foul the air.
Farts come in at least four varieties. I'm sure you all know THAT.
I could break it down to sub-varieties, but I'll KEEP those in my hat.
First there are farts that are quiet and smelly. Not my cup of tea.
At least one should make some noise....so others won't HAVE TO SAY 'not ME'.
Then there are those quiet but NOT smelly; I think women mostly do those.
They give off nothing obnoxious….. to offend your ears or nose.
There are noisy farts that are also smelly. Some would say they're WORST OF ALL.
There are noisy farts that are NOT smelly, ...some like a bugle call.
I've heard of 'farting posts'....used in competitions, ....and
I've heard of using cigarette lighters...to ignite fart emissions.
I've been around dogs that fart and I guess some cows do too.
Probably lots of species fart (now and then) ...not just a FEW.
I believe what's behind all farts...is simply what we.....eat.
If you eat too much or the 'wrong thing'....you MAY be blown....OFF your feet.
Personally that's never happened to me. I'm not lying; ....it's really TRUE.
No 'Captain Ahab' has ever said of me: 'My god! There he blew! '
poem by Bri Edwards
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Oh Guilt
She seems to think
She seems too weak
She takes a week to get over it
She likes the sea
She likes to see
She likes to think she has all of it
She likes the sound
She likes the sand
She likes to stand, she cant afford to sit
She likes to be
Shes into guilt
Guilt
She likes to think
She likes to drink
She seems too weak, she takes all the rent
She likes the time
She owns the time
She borrows time to self-invent
She seems too weak
She likes to see
She likes to think she has all of it
She likes the sand
She likes to stand
She likes to sit
She likes to go
Go
She likes to be
She likes to go
Go
song performed by by Nirvana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Oh, The Guilt
She seems to think
She seems too weak
She takes a week to get over it
She likes the sea
She likes to see
She likes to think she has to alter it
She likes the sound
She likes the sand
She likes to stand, she can't afford to sit
She likes to be
She likes to be
She likes to be
She's into guilt
Go
She likes to think
She likes to drink
She seems too weak, she takes all the rent
She likes the time
She owns the time
She borrows time and has to self-invent
She seems too weak
She likes to see
She likes to think she has to alter it
She likes the sand
She likes to stand
She likes to sit
She likes to go
Go
song performed by by Nirvana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Oh The Guilt (Outtake '93)
She seems to think
She seems too weak
She takes a week to get over it
She likes the sea
She likes to see
She likes to think she has all of it
She likes the sound
She likes the sand
She likes to stand, she cant afford to sit
She likes to be
Shes into guilt
Guilt
She likes to think
She likes to drink
She seems too weak, she takes all the rent
She likes the time
She owns the time
She borrows time to self-invent
She seems too weak
She likes to see
She likes to think she has all of it
She likes the sand
She likes to stand
She likes to sit
She likes to go
Go
She likes to be
She likes to go
Go
song performed by by Nirvana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He Likes To Roll
(carly simon)
Why do I try to win the love
That Ive already wooed and won
(chorus)
cause he likes to roll he likes to roll
He likes to roll he likes to roll
He takes the flower from his button hole
When he likes to roll, he likes to roll
I tend to lose my self control
When he likes to roll, he likes to roll
Here in this little sunny bay
Once a day he comes and goes
(chorus)
He likes to roll...
The moon is down but the odds are high
That seeming me, he wont pass me by
(chorus)
He likes to roll...
song performed by by Carly Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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That Smell
Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars
Oak tree you're in my way
There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Angel of darkness is upon you
Stuck a needle in your arm
So take another toke, have a blow for your nose
One more drink fool, will drown you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Now they call you Prince Charming
Can't speak a word when you're full of 'ludes
Say you'll be all right come tomorrow
But tomorrow might not be here for you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Hey, you're a fool you
Stick them needles in your arm
I know I been there before
One little problem that confronts you
Got a monkey on your back
Just one more fix, Lord might do the trick
One hell of a price for you to get your kicks
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
song performed by by 3 Doors Down
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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That Smell
(allen collins - ronnie vanzant)
Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars
Oak tree youre in my way
Theres too much coke and too much smoke
Look whats going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Angel of darkness is upon you
Stuck a needle in your arm
So take another toke, have a blow for your nose
One more drink fool, will drown you
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Now they call you prince charming
Cant speak a word when youre full of ludes
Say youll be all right come tomorrow
But tomorrow might not be here for you
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Hey, youre a fool you
Stick them needles in your arm
I know I been there before
One little problem that confronts you
Got a monkey on your back
Just one more fix, lord might do the trick
One hell of a price for you to get your kicks
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Ooooh that smell
Cant you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
song performed by by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I am the one of those.....
I am one of those who likes to live,
to be a friend and to forgive.
I am one of those who hates a lie,
if it were for me a war I would deny.
I am one of those who likes to dream,
if to play games then in a family team.
I am one of those who likes to sing
and listen to the bells ring.
I am one of those who likes to laugh,
the time with my dear ones is not enough.
I am one of those who likes fairy tales
and I know that even a hero sometimes fails.
I am thankful to my God and ask our Lord
to prolong my days
so that to look for the new ways.
I am one of those who tries to find the door
leading to more happiness,
I always try to avoid loneliness.
I am one of those who likes to give,
I am one of those who likes to live.
Larisa R (Odessa, Ukraine)
poem by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Think I Smell A Rat
Oh I think I smell a rat
I think I smell a rat
all you little kids
seem to think you know
just where it's at
I think I smell a rat
walking down the street
carrying a baseball bat
I think I smell a rat
Oh I think I smell a rat
I think I smell a rat
all you little kids
seem to think you know
just where is at
I think I smell a rat
treating your mother and father
like a welcome mat
I think I smell a rat
song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Some Like Poetry
Some -
thus not all. Not even the majority of all but the minority.
Not counting schools, where one has to,
and the poets themselves,
there might be two people per thousand.
Like -
but one also likes chicken soup with noodles,
one likes compliments and the color blue,
one likes an old scarf,
one likes having the upper hand,
one likes stroking a dog.
Poetry -
but what is poetry.
Many shaky answers
have been given to this question.
But I don't know and don't know and hold on to it
like to a sustaining railing.
poem by Wislawa Szymborska
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Gargoyles
Pet gargoyles grunt and snore and cough,
But sadly you can't turn them off!
The belch and wheeze and sneeze and spit,
I cannot bear the thought of it!
They slurp and burp, they howl and growl,
They moan and groan; they smell so foul!
Gargoyles gargle, and pass lots of gas,
Their gas it smells like sassafras!
If you get a gargoyle have no fear...
From their FARTS you can make root-beer!
poem by ToddMichael St. Pierre
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Downright Dirty and Disgusting
To Hell with fragrant bars of soap
That are the housewife's only hope
To keep her children free from grime
Now Body Odour is a crime!
She likes to keep them squeaky clean,
The slightest smell would be obscene;
Perfume's the order of the day
To keep those sweay pongs away!
But I prefer it if you don't wash,
Deodorants are far too posh,
I like the smell between your hips
And long to sniff your kipper lips! !
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Feed The Monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
She likes the monkey
Well gather 'round and let me tell you all a story
About a boy and his monkey
He's got that kind of monkey that the girls wanna know
He likes to take his monkey every place that he goes
(Can we pet your monkey?)
Hey, ho, you see the monkey?
Did you know you made my monkey hungry?
I didn't really know how it get so hungry
I'd like to know
Would you feed the monkey?
Well you can pet my monkey
'Cause my monkey don't bite
But when you pet my monkey
He get funky all night
My monkey ain't no ordinary orangutang
'Cause my monkey likes to do the wild thing
My monkey don't scratch
My monkey don't bite
My monkey don't swing no tree
My monkey don't hit
My monkey don't drool
My monkey be swing with me
My monkey don't freak
My monkey don't trip
My monkey don't wear no cape
But you can tell what my monkey wanna eat
'Cause it turn into a big ol' ape
Yeah...
Hey..
The monkey's getting hungry
Hey, hey, why don't you feed your monkey?
(REPEAT x 3)
What she want?
She wants the monkey
(REPEAT x 3)
You know she want
You know she want
You know she wants the monkey
(REPEAT x 3)
Hey, hey, she likes to feed the monkey
Ooh, she's sayin' it's time to feed the monkey
Everyday she wants to feed the monkey
All through the day she likes to feed the monkey
She likes to feed the monkey
(REPEAT x 7)
Feed the monkey
(REPEAT x 19)
She likes to feed the monkey
song performed by by Infectious Grooves
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There are no black film composers doing the likes of Star Wars, doing the likes of E.T., doing the likes of Jurassic Park. There are none, nor will there ever be one. That ain't about to happen!
quote by J.J. Johnson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Like Smells
i like smells...
woodsmoke, and food,
black coffee in the morning.
the smell of rain,
of mud, of wetness.
the smell of the walls
of the cave, of the stone,
of the moss...
the smell of sex, of arousal,
of a woman's neck.
the smell of pine needles,
of an old house,
of fresh turned earth...
the smell of old books,
of old dogs, of shadows
without form...
i've even become accustomed
to the smell of death!
poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm just like every other girl who likes to shop, likes to look good, likes to spend time with friends.
quote by Maria Sharapova
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She Likes It Too
(jack turner/tim nichols)
I got my first motorcycle when I turned sixteen
I remember my mama raisin cane with me
She said, son tell me why you want to ride that thing
She didnt know about the blonde at the dairy queen
I got my own reasons why I do what I do
I like to ride motorcycles
She likes it too
I like to ride motorcycles
She likes it too
I always wore my hair just a little too long
Daddy didn;t like it and he made no bones
If Id have gotten it cut like he wanted me to
She wouldnt have had nothin left to run her fingers through
I got my reasons why I do what I do
I like to wear my hair long
She likes it too
I like to wear my hair long
She likes it too
I remember ridin around with my buddies back home
Listenin to some country on the radio
When they tried to change the startion to some rock n roll
Id turn the opry up just as loud as it would go
I got my reasons why I do what I do
I like country music
She likes it too
I like country music
She likes it too
I got my own reasons
Why I do what I do
I know what I like
She likes it too
I know what I like
She likes it too
Yeah I know what I like
And she likes it too
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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MY BABY LIKES TO.......by Talile Ali
MY BABY LIKES TO GET BANGED
MY BABY LIKES IT A LOT
DO IT ALL DAY LONG
WITH JUST AS MANY STIFF DONGS
MY BABY LIKES TO GANG BANG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
5,19,15,29
BIG, STRONG, HANDSOME, UGLY
MY BABY WANTS TO FEEL THE MONKEY'S COME
BACK TO BACK,2,3 & 4
MY BABY CAN DO SO MANY MORE
MY BABY LIKES HER SOME
MY BABY LIKES HER FUN
MY BABY LIKES TO GET BANGED
MY BABY LIKES IT A LOT
DO IT ALL DAY LONG
WITH JUST AS MANY STIFF DONGS
MY BABY LIKES TO GANG BANG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
SHE CAN DO IT IN THE MORNIN
SHE CAN DO IT NOON AND NOGHT
SHE CAN DO'EM EATING HER LUNCH
EVEN WHEN SHE DON'T FEEL RIGHT
MY BABY LIKES TO GAND BANG
EVERY SINGLE KIND OF WAY
IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK
WE'LL SHE'D BE DOING ALL, OK?
MY BABY LIKES TO GET BANGED
MY BABY LIKES IT A LOT
DO IT ALL DAY LONG
WITH JUST AS MANY STIFF DONGS
MY BABY LIKES TO GANG BANG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
THATS WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
poem by Talile Ali
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In Bloom
Sell the kids for food
-weather changes moods
Spring is here again
-reproductive glands
He's the one who likes all the pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
And I say aahh
We can have some more - nature is a whore
Bruises on the fruit - tender age in bloom
song performed by by Nirvana from Nevermind
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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