Cider on beer, never fear; beer upon cider, makes a bad rider.
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Serene Saturday
Serene Saturday
It's Saturday
and I’m listening to the football
on the radio
It's Saturday
and I’m listening to the football
while slurping my coffee
and having a cigarette
It's not my team who are playing
they play tomorrow
I'm on the brink of falling asleep
but I’m fighting it
My leg is twitching, must be the coffee
I’ve drank too much of it today
Meanwhile my cigarette has burned out in the ashtray
The football has just finished as I wake up,
the classified results are being read out
I light up a cigarette and lie back with my eyes closed
and I remember my dream, 'I’ve had weirder' I think to myself
taking a drag of my cigarette
I wonder, should I get some beer tonight? Decisions, decisions,
yeah, I probably will, maybe cider, yeah, beer and cider...yeah
Andrew Matthews
01/05/2002
16: 26: 01
poem by Andrew Matthews
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Older Than You
We are younger in years! Yes, that is true;
But in some things we are older than you.
For instance, you sometimes say with a smile,
'It will do to drink wine once in a while.'
We say, 'It will not do at all!'
Wine is an imp of old Alcohol.
So are gin and beer, and cider, too.
If you drink up them, they will eat up you.
'Cider is not a strong drink,' you say.
Ah! but, my friend, it opens the way
For brandy and whiskey to follow fast.
It has done it many a time in the past.
It tempts and teases the appetite.
Let it alone, boys, keep to the right;
Onward and upward we mean to go.
Heaven is reached that way, you know.
People who drink are behind the time.
They are back with darkness, and woe, and crime.
This age is progressive. You people who drink,
Though ever so little, just pause and think-
Think of the anguish that liquor makes;
Think of the hearts that it burdens and breaks.
Let it alone: stop drinking to-day-
This is what we, the children, say.
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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Chug-a-lug
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Gary likes a girls tight black pants
Larry knows he doesnt stand a chance
Carl says hurry up and order it quick
Dave gets out to chase that chick
Dennis wonders whats under the hood
A big chrome tach and it sounds real good
I go down to the root beer stand
And drink up all that I can
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, root beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Brians still glued to the radio
Louies lookin out the rear window
Guys got around to orderin fries
But root beers my best buy
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, root beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, root beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Root beer, need another mug now
Root beer, chug-a-lug-a-lug now
Root beer, need another mug now
Root beer, chug-a-lug-a-lug now
Root beer, need another mug now
Root beer, chug-a-lug-a-lug now
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to come up to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not bet this man, for as sure as you are standing there, you are going to end up with an earful of cider.
quote by Damon Runyon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Miss Ol' What's Her Name
I miss her complainin’
Makes me cry in my beer
I’m so miserable without her
It’s as if she’s still here
My pickup and coon dog
Give me a lil’ cheer
And my ma getting’ out of prison
And me drinkin’ more beer
Catchin’ some ol’ catfish
Makes me wish she were near
To clean em’ and cook em’
And bring me more beer
I miss her cute lil’ ol’ mustache
That hides the wart on her chin
I miss her high piercing voice
Tho It gets under my skin
Miss the smell of her foot fungus powder
Miss havin’ her bring me more beer
I’m so miserable without her
It’s as if she were still here
My dirty shorts and socks can just lay there
But dang! I hate getting’ my own beer
And I’m so dang miserable without her
It’s as if she were still here
So there’s one more thing to me
That’s become crystal clear
And it’s that I’ve got to teach
Ol’ Blue to fetch my beer
And there’s one more thing
That’d make me miss her less so
That’d would be to teach ol’ Blue
To play the 5 string banjo
I miss her so badly
She fills my thoughts so
Whoa! I just heard a squirrel!
Gotta git my gun (and another beer)
Gotta go!
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We're basically after Joe's beer money, and Joe likes his beer, so you better make sure that what you give him is at least as pleasurable to him as having his six-pack of beer would be.
quote by Jerry Pournelle
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and it's hard to stop drinking beer.
quote by Billy Carter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cold Beer, Women and Music
I like cold beer on a hot day
I like hot women on a cold day
I like music on a hot or cold day
I like to have cold beer in my pad
I like to have my women scantily clad
I like to have my music not bad
I like my cold beer enshrouded
I like my women endowed
I like my music loud
I like my cold beer in my right hand
I like my women tanned
I like my music close at hand
I like cold beer to unwind
I like women to dine
I like music to remind
I like cold beer with women
I like women with cold beer
I like cold beer and women with music
poem by Bill Kamen
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Strong Beer
“What do you think
The bravest drink
Under the sky?”
“Strong beer,” said I.
“There’s a place for everything,
Everything, anything,
There’s a place for everything
Where it ought to be:
For a chicken, the hen’s wing;
For poison, the bee’s sting;
For almond-blossom, Spring;
A beerhouse for me.”
“There’s a prize for every one
Every one, any one,
There’s a prize for every one,
Whoever he may be:
Crags for the mountaineer,
Flags for the Fusilier,
For English poets, beer!
Strong beer for me!”
“Tell us, now, how and when
We may find the bravest men?”
“A sure test, an easy test:
Those that drink beer are the best,
Brown beer strongly brewed,
English drink and English food.”
Oh, never choose as Gideon chose
By the cold well, but rather those
Who look on beer when it is brown,
Smack their lips and gulp it down.
Leave the lads who tamely drink
With Gideon by the water brink,
But search the benches of the Plough,
The Tun, the Sun, the Spotted Cow,
For jolly rascal lads who pray,
Pewter in hand, at close of day,
“Teach me to live that I may fear
The grave as little as my beer.”
poem by Robert Graves
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If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
quote by Don Marquis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Beer Bong
If I want some beer
I don't want to hear
About how I missed the show
Because I drink to slow
So pass me the beer bong
It wont take very long
For me to put down
This torpedo to the ground
Because drinking beer is to slow
Beer bong is the way to go
To go to go
Don't drink to slow!
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Newcastle
The winding smooth river,
The restless city life,
the fantastic football team,
and best of all the grateful souls of Newcastle.
The enormous stadium,
The small players,
The vast crowd,
and the gigantic atmosphere,
all here at the home of
NEWCASTLE!
Before the match burgundy wine,
first half scorching goal,
half time smooth as a babies bottom beer,
second half dramatic penalty
after match scrumptious fruity cider,
all in days fun in Newcastle.
poem by Ogi Renforth
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House Of The Gods
Finally found a place they could never reach
Sipping singha beer on pattaya beach
Singha beer dont ask no questions
Singha beer dont tell no lies
Singha beer dont ask no questions
Singha beer dont tell no lies
Theres a guy next to me wont tell me his name
Buys me mekong whiskey just the same
Singha beer dont ask no questions
Singha beer dont tell no lies
Singha beer dont ask no questions
Singha beer dont tell no lies
Im just a wally
Hanging out on pattaya beach
Im just a wally
Hanging out on pattaya beach
Met a girl said shes really going to blow my mind
She says she dont mean sex and I say alright
Turns out shes a bloke, tries to give me head
I have to run out screaming to the street instead
Shes just a wally
Hanging out on pattaya beach
Im just a wally
Hanging out on pattaya beach
Singha beer dont ask no questions
Singha beer dont tell no lies...
In the house of the gods
Where no mongrels preach
I watched the sun going down
On pattaya beach
Im just a wally
Hanging out on pattaya beach
Im just a wall
Hanging out on pattaya beach
song performed by by Pogues
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What made you see your father becoming part of me?
I have never being drunk,
is one of those men
that can drink beer, cider
and whiskey
while the legs of others fold
and still hold my own
comprehensibly
without changing my personality.
In the operating theatre I have
to get a second shot
to make me go unconscious
to give the doctors
a chance to do their work.
What made you see
your father becoming part of me,
what made you doubt
my integrity?
Was it in my poetry
that you found similar words appear
as the lines that he wrote?
Was it because I didn’t cry
when our relations came to an end
and was too shocked and stunned
or my believe that life goes on,
and that you are not the only one
in this great big world,
or talking privately in a different room
on my phone on my birthday
when you came to visit me,
or were you just made that way
never really to trust,
always to check up
even if it is to invade
the privacy of some one else?
poem by Gert Strydom
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Beer Song
If I want some beer I dont want to hear about how I missed the show
Because I drink to slow so pass me the beer bong it wont take very long
For me to put down this torpedo to the ground because drinking beer is too
Slow beer bong is the way to go to go to go dont drink too slow !
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Whiskey on beer, never fear. Beer on whiskey, mighty risky.
Wine upon beer is very good cheer; beer upon wine consider with fear.
A Son Of A Gun
I wish I had a barrel of rum
and sugar three hundred pound.
I’d put it in the College bell
and stir it ‘round and ‘round.
Let ev’ry honest fellow
drink his glass of hearty cheer,
For I’m a student of old Dartmouth
and a son of a gun for beer.
I’m a son of a, son of a, son of a,
son of a gun for beer.
I’m a son of a, son of a, son of a,
son of a gun for beer,
Like ev’ry honest fellow I like my whiskey clear.
For I’m a student of Old Dartmouth
and a son of a gun for beer.
And if I had a daughter, sir,
I’d dress her up in green;
I’d put her on the campus
just to coach the freshman team.
And if I had a son, sir,
I’ll tell you what he’d do
He’d yell, ‘To Hell with Harvard!’
like his Daddy used to do.
(Chorus)
poem by Anonymous Americas
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No Beer, No Work
The shades of night was fallin’ slow
As through New York a guy did go
And nail on ev’ry barroom door
A card that this here motter bore:
'No beer, no work.'
His brow was sad, his mouth was dry;
It was the first day of July,
And where, all parched and scorched it hung,
These words was stenciled on his tongue:
'No beer, no work.'
'Oh, stay,' the maiden said, 'and sup
This malted milk from this here cup.'
A shudder passed through that there guy,
But with a moan he made reply:
'No beer, no work.'
At break of day, as through the town
The milkman put milk bottles down,
Onto one stoop a sort of snore
Was heard, and then was heard no more—
'No beer, no work.'
The poor old guy plumb dead was found
And planted in the buryin’ ground,
Still graspin’ in his hand of ice
Them placards with this sad device:
'No beer, no work.'
poem by Ellis Parker Butler
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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