The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
quote by Henry Cate VII
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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How Do We Get Their Attention July 19th
Canadians are not encouraged to notice appointees,
Secretly politically selected and have no need to please,
To the Senate, the governor general and the Supreme Court,
Their word is then law and they don't need political support.
An elected High Court would make proper Canadian decisions,
An elected Senate might even make some legal revisions,
But our elected party politicians want nothing to change,
They'll form another sub committee soon but not to rearrange.
Therefore we are helpless to bring about real political change,
Though political parties often hint that they will rearrange,
We don't have binding referendums or death with dignity,
Even the BC Supreme Court was turned down dismally.
poem by James Bredin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Elected (live)
I'm your top prime cut of meat, I'm your choice
I wanna be elected
I'm a yankee doodle dandy in a gold Rolls Royce
I wanna be elected
The kids need a savior, they don't want a fake
I wanna be elected
We're all gonna rock to the rules that I make
I wanna be elected
Elected
Elected
Respected
I wanna be selected
I never lied to you, I've always been cool
I wanna be elected
I have to get the votes, I told you about school
I wanna be elected
Elected
Elected
Hallelujah
I wanna be selected, come on
Ooh yeah
We're gonna rock this place, take the country by storm
I wanna be elected
You and me together, young and strong
I wanna be elected
Elected
Elected
Respected, selected, call collected
I wanna be elected, oh, oh, come on
This time
song performed by by Def Leppard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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During a political campaign everyone is concerned with what a candidate will do on this or that question if he is elected except the candidate; he's too busy wondering what he'll do if he isn't elected.
quote by Everett Dirksen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I cannot doubt that women will line up, like the men elected, with the groups whose political thinking and convictions are in accord with their own political convictions.
quote by Edith Rogers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Problems
Too many problems, oh why am I here?
I need to be me, cause youre all to clear
And I can see theres something wrong with you
Oh, what do you expect me to do?
At least I gotta know what I wanna be
Dont come to me if you need pity
Are you lonely, you got no-one
You got your body in suspension
Thats a problem, problem, problem
The problem is you
Eat your heart out on a plastic tray
You dont do what you want and you fade away
You work for me, youre working nine-to-five
Its too much fun of being alive
Im using my feet for my human machine
You work for me, living for the screen
Are you lonely, all needs catered
You got your brains dehydrated
Problem, problem, problem, the problem is you
Oh what what you gonna do, problem, problem
Problem, problem, problem, the problem is you
Well, what you gonna do with your problem
The problem is you, problem
I aint death trip, but I aint automatic
You work for me, just stay ecstatic
Dont you give me any orders
To people like me, there is no order
Bet you thought you had it all worked out
Bet you thought you knew what I was about
Bet you thought youd solved all your problems
But you are the problem
Problem, problem, problem, the problem is you
Oh, what you gonna do with your problem?
Ill leave it up to you, oh problem
The problem is you, you got a problem
Oh what you gonna do?
They know a doctor, gonna take you away
Thay take you away and they throw away the key
They dont want you and they dont want me
You got a problem the problem is you
Problem, well, what you gonna do?
Problem, have you got a problem?
Problem, well you got a problem
Problem (x17)
song performed by by Megadeth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A President needs political understanding to run the government, but he may be elected without it.
quote by Harry S. Truman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The problem is, we elected a manager and we need a leader. Let's face it: Bush is just dim.
quote by George Clooney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Going ahead
What is the problem
And there is no problem.
You want to do
And the work done
You want to go
And you gone.
The problem is
There is no problem
The problem you created
Is not a problem.
It is your duty
To think yourself
What to do
And there is nothing
To do.
Who are you to do
And the problem is
You are going
A head to do.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We have to stop this violence. We have to make the political nature of the violence clear, that the violence we experience in our own homes is not a personal family matter, it's a public and political problem. It's a way that women are kept in line, kept in our places.
quote by Patricia Ireland
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. President, I believe your real problem is that you have somehow been unable to realize that you have won, not only won, but been re-elected by a tremendous margin.
quote by Elliot Richardson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There's a problem with political polling in that you have so much pressure to do what your client wants you to do and say what your client wants you to say. I've never felt that pressure. I am independent of the political parties.
quote by Frank Luntz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
quote by Wanda Sykes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stunned They Run
They've been there running,
Since he was elected.
Like plucked chickens,
Without necks.
They don't respect him.
No they don't.
Or his leadership that's best.
They've been there running,
Since he was elected.
Like plucked chickens,
Without necks.
They hate the fact he's where he's at.
And they're upset because of that.
Stunned they run,
Since he was elected.
He's no fun,
Since he was elected.
To do to get done,
Is his objective.
With more change to come.
Stunned they run,
Since he was elected.
He's no fun,
Since he was elected.
To do to get done,
Is his objective.
With more change to come.
They want reality delivered with more sweetening.
They've been there running,
Since he was elected.
Like plucked chickens,
Without necks.
They hate the fact he's where he's at.
And they're upset because of that.
They want reality delivered with more sweetening.
Stunned they run,
Since he was elected.
He's no fun,
Since he was elected.
To do to get done,
Is his objective.
With more change to come.
Stunned they run,
Since he was elected.
He's no fun,
Since he was elected.
To do to get done,
Is his objective.
With more change to come.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
quote by David Letterman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I had assumed that Bush's seemingly inflexible policy to support Sharon was for political reasons of his getting elected. But as to whether he really believes his actions are going to hasten the day of the final conflict, I do not know.
quote by Huston Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Political Prisoners
In fear of reform
Their walls begin to crumble
The rise of each voice
Calls out a social unrest
No longer accepting
The misjudged decisions
By those elected to office
There is no greater choice
There is barely a lesser evil
For they sell each promise
For an extortionate wage
While others live to get by
On a minimal support
Strip them of their cars
Of their grand houses
And expense reports
Each political clone
Cut from the same suit
Stands in fear of reform
The rising voices
Of who once were
Their political prisoners
poem by Matthew Holloway
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When Reagan was elected, I felt that the Agency had gone much more into the service of a political tendency in the country with which I had already felt very strong disagreement.
quote by Aldrich Ames
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Children of Our Age
We are children of our age,
it's a political age.
All day long, all through the night,
all affairs--yours, ours, theirs--
are political affairs.
Whether you like it or not,
your genes have a political past,
your skin, a political cast,
your eyes, a political slant.
Whatever you say reverberates,
whatever you don't say speaks for itself.
So either way you're talking politics.
Even when you take to the woods,
you're taking political steps
on political grounds.
Apolitical poems are also political,
and above us shines a moon
no longer purely lunar.
To be or not to be, that is the question.
And though it troubles the digestion
it's a question, as always, of politics.
To acquire a political meaning
you don't even have to be human.
Raw material will do,
or protein feed, or crude oil,
or a conference table whose shape
was quarreled over for months;
Should we arbitrate life and death
at a round table or a square one?
Meanwhile, people perished,
animals died,
houses burned,
and the fields ran wild
just as in times immemorial
and less political.
poem by Wislawa Szymborska
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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As you see the political problems are closely connected with the economical problems. With the help of politics, we will open the way for the economy and this is why all these problems are included in the program of the newly elected government.
quote by Ibrahim Rugova
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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