The purpose of most computer languages is to lengthen your resume by a word and a comma.
quote by Larry Wall
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
I Believe
i believe that in the novel
written about us
it shall not end on the last
sentence with a period
i ask the Great Writer
to at least end it with a comma
the silence of the comma
the suspense of the comma
and the exclamation point
of the Hallelujah!
I do not prefer the eternal rest
i pray for that Bliss.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Dictaphone Bard
[And here is a suggestion: Did you ever try dictating your stories or articles to the dictaphone for the first draft? I would be glad to have you come down and make the experiment.--From a shorthand reporter's circular letter.]
(As "The Ballad of the Tempest" would have to issue from the dictaphone to the stenographer)
We were crowded in the cabin comma
Not a soul would dare to sleep dash comma
It was midnight on the waters comma
And a storm was on the deep period
Apostrophe Tis a fearful thing in capital Winter
To be shattered by the blast comma
And to hear the rattling trumpet
Thunder colon quote capital Cut away the mast exclamation point close quote
So we shuddered there in silence comma dash
For the stoutest held his breath comma
While the hungry sea was roaring comma
And the breakers talked with capital Death period
As thus we sat in darkness comma
Each one busy with his prayers comma
Quote We are lost exclamation point close quote the captain shouted comma
As he staggered down the stairs period
But his little daughter whispered comma
As she took his icy hand colon
Quote Isn't capital God upon the ocean comma
Just the same as on the land interrogation point close quote
Then we kissed the little maiden comma
And we spake in better cheer comma
And we anchored safe in harbor
When the morn was shining clear period
poem by Franklin P. Adams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Cow Cow Boogie
Out on the plains down near Santa Fe
I met a cowboy ridin' the range one day
And as he jogged along I heard him singin'
The most peculiar cowboy song
It was a ditty, he learned in the city
Comma ti yi yi yeah
Comma ti yippity yi yeah
Now get along, get hip little doggies
Get along, better be on your way
Get along, get hip little doggies
He trucked 'em on down that old fairway
Singin' his Cow Cow Boogie in the strangest way
Comma ti yi yi yeah
Comma ti yippity yi yeah
(Chorus)
Now singin' his cowboy songs
He's just too much
He's got a knocked out western accent with a dixie
touch
He was raised on local ways
He's what you call a swingin' half breed
Singin' his Cow Cow Booogie in the strangest way
Comma ti yi yi yeah
Comma ti yippity yi yeah
(Repeat Chorus)
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Computer Age
Cars and trucks
Fly by me on the corner
But Im all right
Standin proud before the signal
When I see the light
I know Im more than just a number.
And I stand before you
Or else we just dont see the other
Computer age computer age
Computer age.
Bikes and vans
Fly by me on the desert
But Im all right
Standing out here in the hot sun
When I see the light
I feel like more than just a number
And I stand before you
Or else we just dont see the other
Computer age computer age
Computer age.
Precious metal lines
Molded into highways
Running through me
So microscopically
Days and nights
Weeks and months and seasons
Rolling through me
So chronologically.
Computer age computer age
Computer age.
I need you
To let me know that theres a heartbeat
Let it pound and pound
And Ill be flying like a free bird
And you need me
Like ugly needs a mirror
And day by day
This horizons getting clearer
Computer age computer age
Computer age.
song performed by by Neil Young
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
quote by Dave Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The business, task or object of the scientific study of languages will if possible be 1) to trace the history of all known languages. Naturally this is possible only to a very limited extent and for very few languages.
quote by Ferdinand de Saussure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Yeah, well, the F-bomb - it's become as ubiquitous as the word 'like.' People just throw the word 'like' around as punctuation. And I think in a lot of everyday speech, the F-bomb has become a kind of dash or a comma.
quote by Geoffrey Rush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My Computer
"what?" they say, "you got a
computer?"
it's like I have sold out to
the enemy.
I had no idea so many
people were prejudiced
against
computers.
even two editors have
written me letters about
the computer.
one disparaged the
computer in a mild and
superior way.
the other seemed
genuinely
pissed.
I am aware that a
computer can't create
a poem.
but neither can a
typewriter.
yet, still, once or
twice a week
I hear:
"what?
you have a
computer?
you?"
yes, I do
and I sit up here
almost every
night,
sometimes with
beer or
wine,
sometimes
without
and I work the
computer.
the damn thing
even corrects
my spelling.
and the poems
come flying
out,
better than
ever.
I have no
idea what causes
all this
computer
prejudice.
me?
I want to go
the next step
beyond the
computer.
I'm sure it's
there.
and when I get
it,
they'll say,
"hey, you hear,
Chinaski got a
space-biter!"
"what? "
"yes, it's true!"
"I can't believe
it!"
and I'll also have
some beer or
some wine
or maybe nothing
at all
and I'll be
85 years old
driving it home
to
you and me
and to the little girl
who lost her
sheep.
or her
computer.
poem by Charles Bukowski
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
There is the fear, common to all English-only speakers, that the chief purpose of foreign languages is to make fun of us. Otherwise, you know, why not just come out and say it?
quote by Barbara Ehrenreich
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Computer and Man
I am great
All men I educate
I am capable
I am Irresistible,
I have a lot of memory
I answer every query
I have loads of power
Around me mankind hover
I solve problems arithmetical
I carry out operations logical
I am very intelligent
From men I'm different
I am a titan
I am super human
Can you guess
Who I am?
Yes! I am the COMPUTER.
The computer, itself thus prides
And on a high horse it rides.
It cannot comprehend
That man has been his friend
And that he had been behind
The work computer had stream-lined
To execute the multitude of commands
Which man had given for his demands.
Man is equal to the computer
When he speculates he is the man of matter.
As is the computer in man's hands
Is he not the man in God's hands?
.
poem by Chandra Thiagarajan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
With Each Quiver Of The Heart
The space of silence
Word limited cage for an inch
The limits I push
Away from my own limits
Born a poetess
I knew nothing
A cunning stealer of whispers
I did not choose
I swear with the silence
In thousands of languages pronounced
In thousands of languages translated
In thousands of languages silent
Sa svakim treptajem srca
Prostor tišine
Riječ ju omeđ en kavez za pedalj
Granice guram
Daleko od svoje omeđ enosti
Ko pjesnikinja rođ ena
Prevejana kradljivica šapata
Birala nisam
Kunem se tišinom
Na hiljadama jezika izgovorenom
Na hiljadama jezika prevodjenom
Na hiljadama jezik preć utanom
poem by Miroslava Odalovic
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Six legs... but who can see them? .....[SHORT; Nature observations; Humor]or]bservation; Humor]
As I read an article about how we humans age,
I suddenly spied a comma crawling slowly ‘cross the page.
I knew it couldn't be a comma, but it WAS so small
that if it were much smaller, I'd NOT see it at all.
I'm sure it was an insect or some related critter.
I wonder if, on that page, it did leave some insect litter.
I tried to pick out the legs it'd have if an insect it truly were,
but my eyes, not being microscopes, could only see a moving blur.
poem by Bri Edwards
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Computer Cowboy
Well, his cattle each have numbers
And they all eat in a line
When he turns the floodlights on each night
Of course the herd looks perfect!
Computer cowboy.
Well, he rides the range 'til midnight
And the wild coyotes yowl
As he trots beneath the floodlights
And of course the rhythm is perfect!
Computer cowboy.
Ride along computer cowboy
To the city just in time
To bring another system down
And leave your alias behind:
Computer syscrusher.
Computer syscrusher.
Crusher. syscrusher.
Syscrusher.
Come a ky ky yippee yi yippee yi ay
Come a ky ky yippee yi ay.
Come a ky ky yippee yi yippee yi ay
Come a ky ky yippee yi ay.
Computer syscrusher.
song performed by by Neil Young
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Computer Cowboy (a.k.a. Skycrusher)
Well, his cattle each have numbers
And they all eat in a line
When he turns the floodlights on each night
Of course the herd looks perfect!
Computer Cowboy.
Well, he rides the range 'til midnight
And the wild coyotes yowl
As he trots beneath the floodlights
And of course the rhythm is perfect!
Computer Cowboy.
Ride along computer cowboy
To the city just in time
To bring another system down
And leave your alias behind:
Computer syscrusher.
Computer syscrusher.
Crusher. Syscrusher.
Syscrusher.
Come a ky ky yippee yi yippee yi ay
Come a ky ky yippee yi ay.
Come a ky ky yippee yi yippee yi ay
Come a ky ky yippee yi ay.
Computer syscrusher.
song performed by by Neil Young
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
quote by Dave Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
New Language
Anderson/squire/howe/white/sherwood/khoroshev
I speak from some sort of protection of learning
Even tho I make it up as I go on
A special trait is that Ive tried
To reach all feelings
So I speak a new language of love
Some say that it is written in the circle
Others that it is written in the sun
But I protect myself by seeing this experience
As a metaphor for moving on
Sometimes I check myself
To start to believe in
The horoscopes you read everyday
Theyre telling me somethings
I really ought to know
But then again I like to
Then again I learn to
Then again Im running away
Vision is coming so fast I cant stop myself
Vision forgets who is real
On the city streets, people get lost
Just waiting for history
Pushing the real world away
Taking a chance only once in your life
Only weakness can stop you from hearing
New languages
Translate each word
As they bring you creation
Your voice is the perfect key
Is there something that
Im supposed to see
Is there something that im
Supposed to feel
Im with you
And I cant help but want to know
(talk to me)
Is there something that Im supposed to teach
(speak to me)
Is there something that Im supposed to find
As I reach to the healing in each spoken word
For some strange reason time just cannot wait a minute
Im chasing every second before I let go
Yesterday my history
Dreams are still a mystery
This living is a gift I should know
Lay it down and let me live the new language
Let me learn at every twist every turn
Lay it down and let me love the further future
Let me know Im running
Let me know Im learning
Let me know Im moving on
Vision is racing so fast I cant stop myself
Chasing the reason
For all kinds of wondering
People embracing these feelings of limbo
Just waiting for some kind of truth
Taking a chance as it comes only once
Only strength can do justice
With words of new languages
Translate creation
To bring you salvation
Your voice is the perfect key
(talk to me)
Is there something that
Im supposed to see
(speak to me)
Is there something that im
Supposed to feel
Im with you
And I cant help but want to know
(new languages)
(talk to me)
Is there something that
Im supposed to teach
(speak to me)
Is there something that Im supposed to find
As I reach to the healing of each spoken word (new languages)
Taking a chance as it comes only once
Only strength can do justice
With words of new languages
Translate creation
To bring you salvation
Your voice is the perfect key
(talk to me)
Is there something that
Im supposed to see
(speak to me)
Is it something that im
Supposed to feel
Im with you
And I cant help but want to know
(new languages)
(talk to me)
Is there something that
Im supposed to teach
(speak to me)
Is there something that Im supposed to find
As I reach to the healing of each spoken word (new languages)
Is it something that Im supposed to find
As I reach to the healing of each spoken word (new languages)
song performed by by Yes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
New Language
Anderson/squire/howe/white/sherwood/khoroshev
I speak from some sort of protection of learning
Even tho I make it up as I go on
A special trait is that Ive tried
To reach all feelings
So I speak a new language of love
Some say that it is written in the circle
Others that it is written in the sun
But I protect myself by seeing this experience
As a metaphor for moving on
Sometimes I check myself
To start to believe in
The horoscopes you read everyday
Theyre telling me somethings
I really ought to know
But then again I like to
Then again I learn to
Then again Im running away
Vision is coming so fast I cant stop myself
Vision forgets who is real
On the city streets, people get lost
Just waiting for history
Pushing the real world away
Taking a chance only once in your life
Only weakness can stop you from hearing
New languages
Translate each word
As they bring you creation
Your voice is the perfect key
Is there something that
Im supposed to see
Is there something that im
Supposed to feel
Im with you
And I cant help but want to know
(talk to me)
Is there something that Im supposed to teach
(speak to me)
Is there something that Im supposed to find
As I reach to the healing in each spoken word
For some strange reason time just cannot wait a minute
Im chasing every second before I let go
Yesterday my history
Dreams are still a mystery
This living is a gift I should know
Lay it down and let me live the new language
Let me learn at every twist every turn
Lay it down and let me love the further future
Let me know Im running
Let me know Im learning
Let me know Im moving on
Vision is racing so fast I cant stop myself
Chasing the reason
For all kinds of wondering
People embracing these feelings of limbo
Just waiting for some kind of truth
Taking a chance as it comes only once
Only strength can do justice
With words of new languages
Translate creation
To bring you salvation
Your voice is the perfect key
(talk to me)
Is there something that
Im supposed to see
(speak to me)
Is there something that im
Supposed to feel
Im with you
And I cant help but want to know
(new languages)
(talk to me)
Is there something that
Im supposed to teach
(speak to me)
Is there something that Im supposed to find
As I reach to the healing of each spoken word (new languages)
Taking a chance as it comes only once
Only strength can do justice
With words of new languages
Translate creation
To bring you salvation
Your voice is the perfect key
(talk to me)
Is there something that
Im supposed to see
(speak to me)
Is it something that im
Supposed to feel
Im with you
And I cant help but want to know
(new languages)
(talk to me)
Is there something that
Im supposed to teach
(speak to me)
Is there something that Im supposed to find
As I reach to the healing of each spoken word (new languages)
Is it something that Im supposed to find
As I reach to the healing of each spoken word (new languages)
song performed by by Yes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
My computer
Here is my dearest friend computer.
It is much more cuter than anybody else.
And... it is certainly my best tutor.
I sometimes feel nervous or sad
And it is always neutor, my computer.
But sometimes it behaves like an executer
Showing the things I don't like
Thinking I am just a looker.
It keeps mute as a fish, my computer.
But puts me sometimes into a fluter.
Oh, my dearest computer!
It is such a cure and even rude.
And behaves like a lure.
It can be ruder than anything else
Then I am in a stupor.
But...it is still my super.
It is my best curator.
It gives me a cue or something new.
The rest about it I'll tell you later.
poem by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
How Many Ways To Show Affection?
wuzzup ladies
need to know...
something about
all men again?
“Will you help me to understand? ”
“How many ways are there? ”
“How many ways to show affection? ”
“Somehow, I feel that I and my man
have different love languages. Been
trying to learn... getting harder...
Dunno what to do...”
“Remember all men
women are not the same
like varieties women
they are all individuals...
the rare are unique...”
loves struck Romeos Juliets
an infinite number of little things
small gestures of affection in the eyes
voice touch a look a soft feather caress
a word soft spoken speaks volumes
“How many languages?
Indonesia alone has over 17500
islands with over 180,000
living languages still extant...
each soul an island alone adrift apart
will force irresistible continental drift
impact love lock together or ripe apart
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
At The Speed of Light, What Word Pops Up?
It's not now called evesdropping.
No one is right outside,
Standing under your eves.
Not right now.
Where are they standing,
Standing by, while software
Scans, listens, but does not record,
Until that word is recognized?
Who knows what that word is?
In the fictional movie,
'The Bourne Ultimatum, '
The word was 'Blackbrier.'
That's what popped up the red flags
On all our spies computer screens:
Like someone looked the Old Testament God
In the eye and shouted His name.
That was fiction, right?
One word can't trigger all that?
Excuse me.
There's a knock on my door.
poem by Tom J. Mariani
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!