My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
quote by Henry Youngman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Who is a wife?
Who is a wife?
Who can be a virtuous wife?
Who is a wife?
Who can stand the strife
To be a wife?
There is a woman
And there is a wife
Any one can be a woman
But not any one can be a wife
A wife will stand for her pride
A woman will always want a ride
A wife will say
“we ‘ll have a say”
A woman will say
“I ‘ld have a say”
A wife will say
“WE bought you those”
A woman will say
“Mom bought you those”
A wife would say
“We share the bills”
A woman would say
“I share the bills”
A wife cooks what “we” like
A woman cooks what “I” like.
A wife loves unconditionally
A woman loves conditionally
A wife always stands by…
A woman sometimes stands by…
A wife thinks about “us”
A woman thinks about “me”
A wife supports the plans
A woman plans the supports
A wife keeps the relationship
A woman snubs the relationship
A WIFE IS OPPOSITE OF A WOMAN
Who then is a wife?
Amidst all my strife
I‘ve found a darling wife
You too can, if you also tried.
poem by Jr. J.Lakie Kollie
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen
Theres too many cooks in the kitchen
Theres too many minds on the job
Theres too many cooks in the kitchen
Everybody wants a piece of the action
Cooking the books and getting their fractions wrong
What we need is law and order
Everybody knows
Cant have chiefs without the injuns
Stepping on their toes
Theres too many cooks in the kitchen
Theres too many daps in the pie
Theres too many cooks in the kitchen
Everybody needs a place in the rat race
Playing games of power, its only a cat chase
Too many too many too many etc.
Too many cooks in the kitchen
[by the colonel]
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Marriages stay
His wife cooks for him.
He is accustomed to it.
His wife sleeps with him.
He is accustomed to it.
Replacement is not easy.
Replacement is costly too.
Children are the bolts.
Thus marriages manage to stay.
29.01.2009
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Foolish Behaviour
(rod stewart / savigar, cregan, grainger)
Can I introduce myself
Im a man of panache and wealth
Sound in mind, body, soul and health
Why I wanna kill my wife
I have the urge to take her life
Been planing for years to get rid of her
Not divorce I really do mean to kill her
Shes so full of useless information and trivia
Thats why I wanna kill my wife
I have a duty to take her life
Her stupid friends get right up my nose
They all wear annoyingly sensible clothes
Theyre all so bleeding grandiose,
You know why I should kill her friends
Theyre all driving mercedes benz.
Hell escape down into mexico
Sell the house and find a nice young girl
Hell laugh and sing and he wont work anymore.
Should I string her up or strangle her in bed
Suffocate that little venomous head
Or perhaps Ill just whip her to death
Listen do me a favor kill my wife
Do it for mankind take her life
Or should I act quite cold and deliberate
Or maybe blow out her brains with a bullet
Theyll think suicide they wont know who done it
Im gonna kill my wife Im really gonna take her life.
Hell escape down into mexico
Sell the house and find a nice young girl
Hell laugh and sing and he wont work anymore
The moment of truth has come
Im at the point of no return
Ive got my hands locked round her throat
Im about to kill my wife
Dont stop me now Im gonna take her life
Too late now Im gonna kill my wife
Cant help myself Im gonna take her life
Telephone rang and he woke from his sleep
His wife snoring soundly next to him
It was all a very nasty dream
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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An Ideal Husband
An ideal husband doesn't argue,
He never squabbles or swears,
Only about his wife he cares.
He always says kind words,
Doesn't do anything that hurts.
Doesn't play cards or guzzles away money,
Days and nights repeats: You are my honey!
Out of the rest he is much wiser,
He is not poor or a miser.
In all he is good and so nice,
Always gives a good advice.
An ideal husband is very strong,
And his wife is never wrong.
Even in bed he is the best,
Every day with him is a fest.
At other women he never looks,
And plus to that he nicely cooks.
He is so handsome and not boring,
And you will never hear him snoring.
His wife is blameless and so gorgeous,
She goes out and he's not jealous.
In all his wife he loves to assist.
Does such a husband really exist?
It seems he can be found only in dreams.
©Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)
The 22 of September,2012
poem by Larisa Rzhepishevska
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Never seen such a sexy girl in my life
Never felt inside so much love before
Never seen such a pretty girl for sure
Baby I want to love you more and more
Never felt inside so much love before
Never seen such a sexy girl in my life
If I could make you my wife baby my wife
Baby you can make me work nine to five
Never seen such a sexy girl in my life
Never seen such styles the dresses you wear
I will love you always baby I swear
I want you so much I have got no fear
Never seen such styles the dresses you wear
Never seen so much love in those eyes
My heart is happy but my eyes cry
Song is in soul when the music dies
Never seen so much love in those eyes
poem by Asif Andalib
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I wore dresses all the time. I like to wear dresses.
quote by Willard Scott
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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As I've explained to my wife many times, you have to kill your wife or mistress to get on the front page of the papers.
quote by Julian Barnes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My dresses are very reasonably priced, for dresses that are cut on the body.
quote by John Galliano
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Peace Dies From Bullet Wounds
The warrior killed;
pulled the trigger
dropped the bomb
and when asked why
he said
'it's my job.'
The militant fighter
planted the bomb
and when asked why
she said
'it is my beliefs
my values
I am committed
and therefore
am doomed to kill
and die.
The politician
sought the war
and when asked why
he said
to protect my people
I must kill,
and order men and women
take up arms and die.
The son
leaving for war
was asked
if he would kill
and why
he said
Yes, I would,
its expected
and I do it to protect
my home,
my wife
my kids.
We all would be better
off
if we didn't
kill
for
peace.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
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Let it Kill
let it kill me and if it doesnt let it try again and again and again till i die, then let it try again and again and finally let it kill me if not then let it try again till i die of pain cause this pain i cannot take, so let it kill until i feel death creep up the corner, let me die with honor or without it just let me die, so let it kill me again and again and if not let it try until i die, for this life i cannot take i have lost all faith so just let me die, let it try to kill me dont set me free come on kill me i refuse mercy or sympathy all i want is death so please let it kill let it send me to death as fast as things go past, let it kill, let it destroy my soul and leave it not whole for i want death, i want death again i say i want death let it kill and if not let it kill again and again till death is all that remain, let it kill
poem by Adens Kamwi
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Three Wives
Said Jones: "I'm glad my wife's not clever;
Her intellect is second-rate.
If she was witty she would never
Give me a chance to scintillate;
But cap my humorous endeavour
And make me seem as addle-pate."
Said Smith: "I'm glad my wife's no beauty,
For if a siren's charm she had,
And stinted her domestic duty,
I fear that she would drive me mad:
For I am one of those sad fellows
Who are unreasonably jealous."
Said Brown: ""I know my wife's not witty,
Nor is she very long on looks;
She's neither humorous nor pretty,
But oh how she divinely cooks!
You guys must come some night to dinner -
You'll see my little girl's a winner."
So it's important in our lives,
(Exaggerating more or less),
To be content with our wives,
And prize the virtues they possess;
And with dispraise to turn one's back
On all the qualities they lack.
poem by Robert William Service
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Men In Black Dresses
Led by “Black Pope” AKA “The General”
Wields more power than the “White Pope”
A shadowy figure, that’s wickedly venerable
Church “Hatchet man” and true misanthrope
Women were denied the Jesuit priesthood
God was reserved for men in black dresses
“You’ll serve as Nuns; for your own good,
We’ll need you to clean up church messes”
Jesuits responsible for “Medieval Inquisition”
Tortured, burned countless women as witches
Sold “Indulgences” to the rich, for absolution
“Kill all healers, midwives they’re just bitches”
Justice soon visits men in black or white dresses
God too, has a way of cleaning up man’s messes
“Beware of ravenous wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing”
ROTMS
poem by Ray Lucero
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Macbeth
Macbeth is a great worrier
He never disobey his loyer
He has an evil wife
Those made him have a miserable life
He kills King Duncan in his room
Gust beside his broom
Macbeth started to have a red face
So he toke the king’s place
He tried to kill the king son
In a day where was a sunny sun
He heard best murders that he has
The murders kill his friend but his son escape from them
Macbeth wife die
After his friend son kills him with a pie
Then king son ruled
Macbeth was fooled
poem by Violet Gum Gum
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Killings
You kill who might eat you.
You kill who might hurt you.
You kill who you want to eat.
You kill one in accident.
You kill one as punishment.
Can you dispense with killings?
29.08.2007
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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The Thief Of Hearts
He’s real good looking and dresses real slick
He’s an older man looking for a pretty young chick
He tells everyone he’s single and new in town
Don’t believe the pretty words, he’s been around
He tell you he’s not married and so lonely now
With you it was love at first sight, doesn’t know how
He will promise you the moon and pledge his love for life
He will forget to tell you, back home he has a wife
Flowers and candy, so romantic he will be
He might even serenade you and get down on one knee
He makes frequent trips back to his hometown
He’ll say to see the kids, can’t let them down
He won’t be around for a holiday or birthday
Can’t let his wife know that he will betray
She thinks she’s got a wonderful marriage to him
She doesn’t know he came home only on a whim
He’s a thief of hearts, you will be his prey
He won’t be there when you need him anyway
You’ll be his plaything when he has time to burn
He’ll be with his wife and kids with the money he earns!
poem by Donna Nimmo
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Ill Always Be With You
I just went to the corner
To get some bread and butter,
Dad called, hed got your letter,
This is his new number.
Chickens on the burner
But wait for me if you can,
Ill be back soon, honey,
Big kiss from mommy.
(chorus)
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill,
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill,
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.
Please, I have a son!
(chorus)
Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss,
Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
Sorry, I was so late,
Did you call your dad?
I hope he was nice to you,
I dont wanna see you sad.
I see you ate your chicken,
And saved me a plate,
I dont know how to tell you, I dont know how to tell,
But I love you, baby, rememember, Ill always be with you
Ill always be with you.
I love you, mommy, I love you with all my heart,
Please, always be with me.
(chorus)
Miss, miss, miss, miss,
Miss, miss, miss, miss.
Mommy! mommy!
Why do I love you so if youre just a spec of dust,
Floating endlessly amongst the trillion stars?
Knowing that one day we may float apart,
Meeting each other in universe.
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Man can…
I don’t feel I kill when I take
Antibiotics to kill germs.
I don’t feel I kill when I kill
Rodents, mosquitoes and serpents.
I kill fowls, goats and fish for food.
This’ the way I’ve been brought up
And I do it for my survival.
Terrorists don’t feel that they kill
When they kill innocent people,
Without which too they can survive.
Man’s mastered all his predators.
Terrorists are his predators.
It is time he annihilated them.
31.11.2008
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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I Cook
I eat more than I cook, little eyes are on me,
As I weep and shudder furiously, full of bad habit.
The reality of a life beyond encases me still,
To stop this, tragedy appears to mock and arrive
At our doorstep. The door is a forceful entrance
Into the brilliance of the universe, the gates remind.
I have eaten all this while, food to mock,
As the lipids stretch my body, with proteins and salts.
These minerals are what cooks are made of,
Cooks remind me of worlds and foods.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Jane
My daughter Jane makes dresses
For beautiful Princesses;
But though she's plain is Jane,
Of needlework she's vain,
And makes such pretty things
For relatives of Kings.
She reads the picture papers
Where Royalties cut capers,
And often says to me:
'How wealthy they must be,
That nearly every day
A new robe they can pay.'
Says I: 'If your Princesses
Could fabric pretty dresses,
Though from a throne they stem
I would think more of them.
Peeress and shopgirl are
To my mind on a par.'
Says Jane: 'But for their backing
I might be sewing sacking.
Instead, I work with joy
In exquisite employ,
Embroidering rich dresses
For elegant Princesses . . .
Damn social upsetters
Who criticise their betters!'
poem by Robert William Service
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