A good doctor treats both the patient and the disease.
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The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease.
quote by William Osler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Have A Nice Day
'Help, help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'
'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.
'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'
'Yes, I know, I heard you before.
Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You, see I've got a disease.
I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.'
'How long, ' said the man who was drowning. 'Will it take for the Doc to arrive? '
'Not very long, ' said the man with the disease. 'Till then try staying alive.'
'Very well, ' said the man who was drowning. 'I'll try and stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he wrote.'
'Help, help, ' said the man with the disease, 'I suddenly feel quite ill.'
'Keep calm.' said the man who was drowning, ' Breathe deeply and lie quite still.'
'Oh dear, ' said the man with the awful disease. 'I think I'm going to die.'
'Farewell, ' said the man who was drowning.
Said the man with the disease, 'goodbye.'
So the man who was drowning, drownded
And the man with the disease past away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in my flat,
It's been a very nice day.
poem by Spike Milligan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Patient, Thou speak’st only the truth
The truth, he speaks, the patient, sick when he's,
'Tis rare for him to tell a pack of lies;
If not, the Diagnosis will go amiss,
The patient knows all this if he is wise.
How can the Doctor know the malady,
Without the patient telling his Symptom?
Diagnosis must precede the Remedy,
A commodity, Health's bought but seldom.
0 patient, Thou better speak truth alone!
The Doctor is no real Demi-God;
Help him help thee, 'fore thy family shall moan;
If thou art ill, Doctor is next to God.
Diseases can dupe the best of Doctors,
A bad history can turn into thine hearse.
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Doctor To My Disease
Ive been treated for mild depression
And Ive been treated for growing pains.
Ive been treated for hallucinations;
Now I can see it all coming again.
Well, you can wind me up. yeah, you can slow me down.
You can dig a little, and you can mess me around.
But theres one thing I should tell you, to which
You must agree:
Theres no use you playing doctor to my disease.
Said its no use you playing doctor to my disease.
I got no cure for this condition
That youve been causing me tonight.
Well, you put my heart in overdrive:
Hand me the bullet I must bite.
You can stir me up and you can cut me down.
You can probe a little, push that knife around.
But theres one thing I should tell you, to which
You must agree:
Its no use you playing doctor to my disease.
Do you have to break my engine
So you can fix it up again?
Tuned to crazy imperfection
Just to score me out of ten.
Well, you can wind me up. yeah, you can slow me down.
You can dig a little. yeah, you can mess me around.
But theres one thing I should tell you, to which
You must agree:
That its no use you playing doctor to my disease.
song performed by by Jethro Tull
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sonnet- Medical History In Diagnosis
O Healer, lend thine ears to his story!
He talks by heart and cannot lie a lot;
To make the diagnosis and gain glory,
To all things possible, you must give thought.
Remember, patients come in much distress;
They need a soul kind who will hear their case;
The disease-state puts one into great stress;
A good history is the diagnosing-base.
Suspect all conditions under the Sun;
The eyes can see what mind already knows;
Examining case for clues is serious fun;
To every doctor, patient, his life owes.
Oh healer, God is the Physician, so great!
His help we need to change the patient’s state.
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The superior doctor prevents sickness;/ The mediocre doctor attends to impending sickness;/ The inferior doctor treats actual sickness.
The superior doctor prevents sickness; The mediocre doctor attends to impending sickness; The inferior doctor treats actual sickness.
The best doctor prevents illness, an average doctor visits when the illness is imminent, and the unskilled doctor treats your present illness.
Sonnet: Medical History In Diagnosis
O Healer, lend thine ears to his story!
He talks by heart and cannot lie a lot;
To make the diagnosis and gain glory,
To all things possible, you must give thought.
Remember, patients come in much distress;
They need a soul kind who will hear their case;
The disease-state puts one into great stress;
A good history is the diagnosing-base.
Suspect all conditions under the Sun;
The eyes can see what mind already knows;
Examining case for clues is serious fun;
To every doctor, patient, his life owes.
Oh healer, God is the Physician, so great!
His help we need to change the patient’s state.
31-5-2000 by John Celes
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Possibility Of Disease
Dance with the possibility of disease,
Validate your health when called by him
Who is the doctor, the doctor of healing.
To establish this is nearly the success
Of a lifetime, of lances and arrows
In need of war and battle.
You are lacking proof of the war
Plaguing the world, the war is where?
It may be hidden or it may be lost
By the side who fought so many wars.
Disease was the obstacle of peace,
Illness has brought us to corruption.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A patient going to a doctor for his first visit was asked, "And whom did you consult before coming to me?"
"Only the village druggist," was the answer.
"And what sort of foolish advice did that numbskull give you?" asked the doctor, his tone and manner denoting his contempt for the advice of the layman.
"Oh," replied his patient, with no malice aforethought, "he told me to come and see you."
It is much more important to know what sort of a patient has a disease than what sort of a disease a patient has.
quote by William Osler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Once my doctor began treating my kidney disease, my greatest challenge was the constant exhaustion. Fortunately, my doctor explained that anemia was causing my exhaustion and that people with serious illnesses, like kidney disease, may be at increased risk for anemia.
quote by Alonzo Mourning
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sonnet: Advice to Doctors
No patient’s mine; no patient remains yours;
The patient comes and goes from Doc to Doc;
If he improves, we simply then rejoice,
Though God’s the key to the diagnostic-lock!
All patients ail and expect some relief;
A doctor’s duty is to help him out;
All patients speak the truth; Time is the thief;
To use his knowledge best, all Doctors ought.
Fleece not the poor; cheat not the ones who’re sick;
God is the Healer prime; He uses us;
Off not life’s candle-flame with intact wick;
The Doctor shirking work invites God’s curse!
Lose not Ethics; lose not your morals, Doc!
Like patients, Doctors are part of God’s flock.
8-28-2002
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I’m Proud, an Indian Doctor
I’m proud an Indian doctor;
I have a billion lives to save;
In practice, let me not falter;
But with my patients well behave.
’Tis thrilling to serve fellowmen,
Suff’ring from newer disease;
Let me use my fullest ken,
And teach them how to live in peace.
My country is a poor nation;
My brethren need my treatment;
So, let me serve with passion;
And free them from their ailment.
God turned me to be healer great;
And serve my fellowmen ill;
Let me improve patient’s fate;
By using my God-given skill.
I’m proud to serve my brethren;
God will bless me some day, some way;
A Doctor turns earth to heaven-
Some day, my patients will sure say!
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Hand That Feeds
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please, doctor, doctor, please
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Feel like an old diseace
Get your sweet ass off the floor
Doctor, doctor, doctor
I cant refuse any loose harted lady anymore
I scream your name into the crowd
You feel the flame, but yo aint proud
Mabye your attitude aint right
So all thats left for me to do is bite
The hand that feeds me
Feeds me
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
All things you put me through
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me
In the middle of, with a spittle of
Et tu like birds of a feather
When another day, love another way
Push, shove, make love, play
Never never, never ever
Never ever, never ever
Na, na...
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Please do a-what you can
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Would you please give my life a hand
All the things you put me trough
What the hell you want me to
Do all the things that uncle john needs
I aint the dog that bites the hand that feeds me, yeah
Doctor, doctor, doctor
Doctor, doctor, please
(repeat)
song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor
[parody of doctor! doctor! by the thompson twins]
Woah, cause hes my doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Im feelin pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is bernie, bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Wheres my pepto bismol?
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Another Reason To Believe
BAD MEDICINE
Bon Jovi
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Woah, shake it up just like bad medicine
There aint no doctor that can cure my disease
Bad medicine
I aint got a fever got a permanent disease
And it'll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy
And I got lots of money but it isn't what I need
Gonna take more than a shot to get this poison outta me
And I got all the symptoms, count 'em 1 2 3
First you need (Thats what you get for falling in love)
Then you bleed (You get a little and its never enough)
On your knees (Thats what you get for falling in love)
And now this boys addicted cause your kiss is the drug
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
There aint no doctor that can cure my disease
Bad, bad medicine
I don't need no needle to be giving me a thrill
And I don't need no anesthesia or a nurse to bring a pill
I got a dirty down addiction that doesn't leave a track
I got a jolt for your affection like a monkey on my back
There aint no paramedic gonna save this heart attack
When you need (Thats what you get for falling in love)
Then you bleed (You get a little and its never enough)
On your knees (Thats what you get for falling in love)
Now this boys addcited cause your kiss is the drug
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
So lets play doctor baby, cure my disease
Bad, bad medicine ... is what I want
Bad, bad medicine ... its what I need
I need a respirator cause I'm running out of breath
Your an all night generator
Wrapped in stockings and a dress
When yo
song performed by by Bon Jovi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Patient
Think of the patient;
Hear his cry;
With pain and suff’ring,
Eyes go dry.
Think of his poor state
And his mind;
His diseased body,
Doctors find.
Think of the patient
His travail;
Him from agony;
None can bail.
Think of the disease
Without cure;
Man lives for God’s sake:
And endure.
Think of his doomed fate;
None can change;
If drugs still work ’tis
From God’s range.
Think of the patient,
His family;
Can you give succor?
For what fee?
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Vertigo, it was thought at the time, could only be caused by a disease of the cerebellum. He observed this kind of patient for years and saw absolutely no symptoms of brain disease.
quote by Robert Barany
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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