A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Are You a Good Husband?
All married men want to be called a good husband
A good husband is a decent husband
Mr. Husband what you done to deserve this decency?
Has your wife ever referred to you as her good husband?
It is known that the eyes cannot see itself
Unless by reflection. Have you ever asked
Your wife for a performance appraisal
Honey, how did I perform last year?
On a scale of one to ten, one for very poor
Ten for excellent, how did I perform?
Your wife may think you are now on new drugs
If you receive less than six, you need to
Start fence mending before it is too late
A good husband sees his wife as his friend
A nice husband treats his wife as his lover
A decent husband regards his wife as a soul-mate
You should anticipate what your wife
Will need before she makes any request
By the way, have you ever bought a gift
For your wife without an occasion?
Do you have to wait for her birthday?
To inform her that she is very special to you?
Do you have to wait for your wedding anniversary?
To tell her that she is the best thing in your life
When last did you talk to your wife in-laws?
When last did you visit your wife in-laws?
What have you done to be called a good husband?
Ask for performance appraisal on a regular basis
Remember, if you make your wife happy
You will get happiness in return
poem by Julius Babarinsa
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Family life
At home
Husband
And wife...
Some time fighting...
Word's to words...
With bad words...
Sometime hit
The husband wife
Mistakes...
Wife was crying...
Husband was woory...
Wife also
Lovingely hit...
Husband also take easy...
At night husband
Wanted wife
For sex...
Wife will say
Backpain acting
Going for
Hear with life
Every day
At familylife...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Nasty Life
My friend
Married newely...
Fight to fight
Every his wife...
Wife did not
Interest in sex...?
Sex is not
Impreess wife
With husband...
So...
Fights going...
One day crying...
One day lough...
One day sad...
Life move boor
With boor...
My friend wife
Run for mohter's house...
My friend woory...
Pray for god...
Temple to temple...
The family problem is
Not sable...
Months are going...
Years are going...
My friend wife did
Not come...
Move the life...
Husband one side...
Wife one side...
It is life...?
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Pretty woman
Pretty woman.
But wife is beautiful.
Pretty woman is hot.
But wife is the sexiest.
Pretty woman is just for sex.
But a wife is to make love.
Wife is a forbidden fruit.
To you and all.
and wife is more caring.
Be at home and by her husband.
and wife is the husband diamond.
And the husband love making love to her.
That no other women can.
Make him feel so good.
and her husband always in love.
With her.
And wife is the husband success.
Loving and warm full happiness.
She bears our children. And
She is the most gifted darling.
poem by See Fee Lee
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At Home
At home
Wife was
Fighted every time...
With his husband...
One day husband
Run to girl friend too
Love married...?
The wife
Fighted for dog
And his children....
Husband happy
For newely married...!
Tommrow lot of fights
Thear enjoy...
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
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Happy Belated Birthday Andy
For my friend Andrew Mark Wilkinson
To Andy, I call him a friend,
but some friend I seem to be,
when I let his birthday pass by,
without saying Happy Birthday.
Therefore, I must apologise
for my oversight my friend.
Although this is nine days late,
May I take this time to say
I hope you had a wonderful Birthday.
I have no excuses for overlooking
a friend from my Birthday poem list.
As I read Andy’s poems almost daily,
I feel guilty that I overlooked his Birthday.
Andy is our resident Romantic poet,
whose poems of love and passion
fills quite a few with joy,
and whose friendship I value.
He writes from the heart
of loves entanglement there,
sometimes mirroring at times his own life.
A great poet and a great friend to all.
Therefore, from this friend who sadly forgot
a Happy Belated Birthday my friend, nine days late.
poem by David Harris
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The Seahorse
The seahorse doesn’t do divorce:
It picks a spouse for life.
The wife’s the husband and, perforce,
The husband is the wife.
A husband, feeling rightly proud
(As husbands are, of course) ,
Will say of her who’s well endowed:
‘My wife’s hung like a horse.’
poem by South Westerner
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Reciprocal Relationship
Wife and husband
reciprocate through love
as a centrifugal force
that settles only
to one another
Wife and husband
reciprocate through understanding
as a bonding conduit
to overrule electrifying
disagreements
Reciprocating wife and husband
make love and understanding
as best way of communication
that sustain the romance
and lasting relationship
When reciprocating collapses
between a husband and wife
romantic expression ceases
and the marital connection
becomes sour and arid
Reciprocating with each other
through love and understanding
builds up stronger foundation
as contented wife and husband
blessed with happy marriage
poem by Marvin Brato Sr
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Trouble In De Kitchen
DEY was oncet a awful quoil 'twixt de skillet an' de pot;
De pot was des a-bilin' an' de skillet sho' was hot.
Dey slurred each othah's colah an' dey called each othah names,
W'ile de coal-oil can des gu-gled, po'in oil erpon de flames.
De pot, hit called de skillet des a flat, disfiggered t'ing,
An' de skillet 'plied dat all de pot could do was set an' sing,
An' he 'lowed dat dey was 'lusions dat he wouldn't stoop to mek
'Case he reckernize his juty, an' he had too much at steak.
Well, at dis de pot biled ovah, case his tempah gittin' highah,
An' de skillet got to sputterin', den de fat was in de fiah.
Mistah fiah lay daih smokin' an' a-t'inkin' to hisse'f,
W'ile de peppah-box us nudgin' of de gingah on de she'f.
Den dey all des lef' hit to 'im, 'bout de trouble an' de talk;
An' howevah he decided, w'y dey bofe 'u'd walk de chalk;
But de fiah uz so 'sgusted how dey quoil an' dey shout
Dat he cooled 'em off, I reckon, w'en he puffed an' des went out.
poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
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Happy Birthday Love
For my wife who is -? Today
Today is your birthday
and you are telling everyone
that you are twenty-one years young.
The children don’t believe it
as it makes you younger that them.
When you tell them they say,
“In your dreams, mum.”
However, having said that
you are twenty-one to me
still filled with love and vitality.
We’re still young as when we fell in love
and today is your birthday.
You are sure to have a good one
surrounded by friends and family.
That is all I have to say except
Happy Birthday Love,
have a wonderful day.
Your loving husband David,
the one born down on the funny farm.
8 March 2008
poem by David Harris
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The Faithful Wife
The faithful wife in the Christ
Obeys her husband's word;
Claims her own authority
By calling her husband, lord.
She will love her husband dearly
As she submits unto his hand,
Teaches younger women so
In this her family stands.
The faithful wife perceives in God
Her husband is given rule;
As he submits unto the Lord
But a rebellious wife is a fool.
poem by Richard Merrell
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My Special Birthday Card to You
No words could be found that could
tell you how delighted I am spending
this special day telling you how lucky
and privileged I am to be sharing this
day with you, my husband!
I could find no words in the store that said, “you’re
My friend in good times, my rock in
times of sorrow-my reason for all the
wonderful yesterdays, and my promise for tomorrows!
Too, I found no words that said to you: “honey
I feel the same love for you today, your birthday,
that I felt for you the many days before-even
before becoming your wife, and promise to make
this year, and every year the best in your life!
I couldn’t even find final words to tell you: that this year’s
betters and worst, pains and sorrows, we stayed by each
other’s side sharing the laughter and tears through
those uncertain hours and days. Still not knowing
what the future has in store for you and me,
but this I know, without a doubt, the best is yet to come.
Happy birthday, my dear sorry I didn’t have a birthday card
Lying on your pillow when you awaken-but sometimes, we must “have our say”
Here, wishing you a Happy Birthday! We’ll celebrate this weekend!
Perhaps, it wasn’t such a great idea getting married on your birthday. LOL
By
Almedia Knight-Oliver
November 7,2011
poem by Almedia Knight Oliver
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A Brief History Of Modern Warfare Vis-a-Vis Men And Woman
The Evolutionary War Wife: Wife created in likeness of diety, concludes husband descended from ape.
The Uncivil Wife War: Slave man uprises against cruel evil owner.
The First World War Wife: The wife to end all wives. War declared. It ended.
Wife World War Two: No peace in our time. After years of conflict, loser Wife passes Marital Martial Plan. Husband gives all money to rebuild loser.
The Korean Police Action Wife: Too much action. Wife calls police. Peace breaks out after divorce.
The War Wife From Southeast Asia: Linga, linga ling, ling, ling, ling, ling. It's over.
The Islamic War Wife: Husband refuses to submit. Jihad finally forces him to knees. He prays it will end soon.
poem by Bob Eichen
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Mistake of Fact!
Crow! Crow!
Male crow! Female crow!
Love each other,
Wife and husband;
Wife crow lays eggs,
All are white!
Husband crow suspects
Loyalty and fidelity;
Ignorant husband,
Innocent wife,
Wife crow shows
other nests;
Trust assured
Sorry sorry,
Mistake of Fact, Forget it,
We love for ever!
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
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Lecturer
He wrote on the board
“The husband said the wife
Is having an extra-marital affair”.
He asks the class, “Who is having the EMA? ”
Shout comes up loud, “the wife”.
He takes a piece of chalk, and puts two commas
One after husband, and one after wife.
It now reads, “The husband, said the wife, is
Having an extra-marital affair”.
He asks the class, “Who is having the EMA? ”
Confused murmur of husband, wife flutters.
“Not a word has changed, but the meaning has reversed
With just two commas.” Eats shoots and leaves, eh?
May I start the lecture on grammar, he said.
The class was all ears.
D T Joseph
19.02.08
poem by Daniel Trevelyn Joseph
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My dear friend happy birthday
My dear friend happy birthday
i may not have the best rhymes today
but few words i'll like to say
i wish you happiness on this special day
my dear friend happy birthday
God has made it this way
guarding you by night and by day
for boyhood to roll away
and men stage to come and stay
my dear friend happy birthday
sweet memories are here to stay
smiles, hugs and gifts on display
many talk about old time and rough play
my dear i'm on my way
seraphic voices singing happy birthday
poem by Chibuzor Ossai
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Togetherness Is Gone
My wife,
Stop cleaning the house
Please come here
To accompany me
My husband,
The house is dirty
We aren't able to pay the maid
You've already retired
My wife,
Don't cook
It's a holiday
Let us eat outside the home
My husband,
Don't eat outdoors
We need efficient
You've already retired
My wife,
Let's keep me company
Why the rush to sleep
It's still early
My husband,
I have to get up early
To clean the house
And prepare breakfast
My wife,
I have to go this morning
My friends were waiting
Long we don't meet
My husband,
Be careful on the road
Greetings for your friends
But, why not breakfast?
My wife,
You have fallen asleep last night
I see you sleeping soundly all
I don't have the heart to wake you
My husband,
I'm sorry
I don't welcome you home
But, why should sleep on the sofa?
My wife,
I have to go again
I have social activities
With my old friends
My husband,
Don't forget dinner at home
You look very dapper
Although not wear perfume
My wife,
sorry, we were very busy
I had dinner with friends
Happy dinner, dear
My husband,
I woke up too early
But you're not at home
Where are you?
My wife,
I came home at midnight
I have to go early in the morning
I don't have the heart to wake you
My husband,
I just finished washing clothes
I've found the clothes that you wear today
But, why the smell of perfume?
poem by Hasanudin Sofyan
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Who Is Your Best Friend?
Everybody needs friends, we all have friends
Some friends are closer to us than our families
If we happen to fall, there are friends to pick us up
What will our life be without friends?
There are many categories of friendship
There are casual friends, bad friends and good friends
The question here is – who is your best friend?
Friends who can turn your tears into laughter
Is your wife your best friend?
I mean the friend you go to
When you need honest advice
Is your husband your best friend?
I mean the friend who knows you
More than you know yourself
Is your brother or sister your best friend?
I mean the friend who always assists you
To solve difficult personal problems
Is your father or mother your best friend?
I mean the friend you feel safe to keep secrets
Are your in-laws your best friend?
I mean the friend you can tell anything
Is your boss or co-worker your best friend?
I mean the friend who can cover you up at work
Is your son or daughter your best friend?
I mean the friend you use as sounding board
For all your confidential and private thoughts
Is your former classmate your best friend?
I mean the friend who cheers you up on bad days
Whoever may be your best friend, remember that
A friend in need is always a friend indeed
poem by Julius Babarinsa
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My Wife’s Second Husband
THE WORLD goes round, old fellow,
And still I’m in the swim,
While my wife’s second husband
Is growing old and grim.
I meet him in the city—
It all seems very tame—
He glances at me sometimes
As if I were to blame.
Oh, my wife’s second husband
Was handsome, young and true;
He had his boyish visions
(I had my visions too).
He made a model lover—
The greenest in the game—
They say, when I was married
That I was just the same.
Though I am ten years older
My hair is dark to-day,
While my wife’s second husband
Is quickly growing grey.
I drank when first he knew me,
And he drank not at all;
I see that he, through drinking,
Is going to the wall.
A sweet ill-treated woman,
A drunken brute (Good Lord!)—
Ah, well, she got her freedom,
And he got his reward.
He’ll fight it out a season,
For Fate will not be forced,
But my wife’s second husband
Shall surely be divorced.
I sympathize, and wonder
What mutual friends would think
If my wife’s second husband
And I should have a drink.
And I a mere bystander—
It almost seems absurd—
Might lay prophetically
My hand on my wife’s third.
But my wife’s second husband
His sorrows shall forget,
We’ll clasp warm hands in friendship
And clink our glasses yet.
We’ll smoke cigars together,
In pure philosophy,
While calmly contemplating
The fate of number three.
poem by Henry Lawson
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Happy Birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Well, its time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
Well eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that theres something you can eat
A million npeople every day are starving in the street
Your daddys in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mamas in the kitchen with a can of cycle four
Theres garbage in the water
Theres poison in the sky
I guess it wont be long before were all gonna die
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Well, whats the matter little friend, you think this party is the pits
Enjoy it while you can, well soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the pentagon are gonna cook our goose
Their fingers on the button, all they need it an excuse
It doesnt take a military genius to see
Well all be crispy critters after world war iii
Theres nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one, we all get fried
(come on boys and girls, sing along, ok? )
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Wow! (background screaming, sound effect)
Well theres a punk in the alley and hes looking for a fight
Theres an arab on the corner buying everything in sight
Theres a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed
Seems that everywhere you look today theres misery and greed
I guess you know the earth is gonna crash into the sun
But thats no reason why we shouldnt have a little fun
So if you think its scary, if its more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Wow!
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
(happy birthday!)
And a pinch to grow an inch!
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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