My Promise To My Dead Mother

tonight mother
i will dream of you
again
and you will talk
to me in whispers
as i grapple with
ciphers
tonight mother
i promise you
i will not wake
up until i get it.

you who always
think that i am
intelligent.

tonight mother
i will not fail you
again on the same
shocking lapse of my
my usual excuse
of insanity.