Terrified I Am to Commit Again

I think of it and try,
Not to show how utterly terrified I am...
To commit again to unconditional love.
But it is without conditions and prerequisites,
I wish for it!

Maturity is there.
And my heart searches seeking.
But the act of it...
Stays a reluctant fixture in my head.

Suppose my love is actually shared?
And a committment I am afraid to receive,
Is dared by someone with devotion to spare.
Suppose the love I give,
Is returned without thought.
And I am aware,
What is there is no longer sought!

I think of it and try,
Not to show how utterly terrified I am...
To commit again to unconditional love.

And I do not want to appear to be fickled.
Afterall I am at the age,
Where the gray in my hair...
More than testifies I have lived nine lives.
And appearances have arrived,
To prevent denial without my lips to lie.

But I...
Do think of it and try,
Not to show how utterly terrified I am...
To commit again to unconditional love.
But it is without conditions and prerequisites,
I wish for it!

And I do admit,
I am seeking someone to convince me...
I am on that side of time,
When the ticking of the tock heard from my clock...
Is no longer energized by sustained youth,
On watch with anticipated patience.

I'm looking for an express delivery these days.
And willing to change if...if,
Well...
We'll see!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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