Not Me! Leave My Emotions Alone

Not me!
This I would say to myself,
As if to convince with belief...
The air that I breathe once again cleared,
Of lies contaminating with deceit...
Would open my eyes to commitment and relationships.
To see that I was not,
Going to find someone for me to cherish.
Not me!
My definition of true love,
Was not for me to experience.
Of this I was convinced.

Not me!
Wounds to heal from a bleeding unnecessarily,
I would and could prevent.
But love as love can be and is...
Can masquerade itself in many ways.
And there is no safety net to catch a heart,
Plunging to the depths of disappointment.

Not me I thought.
Not me, again...
Brought to a weeping of tears.
To harden and reject the slightest aspect of love.
Even with a building of a higher wall,
Only stalls temporarily...
Someone new willing to scale it.
Who is 'this' out to adventure?
At my expense.

Not me, please.
Leave my emotions alone.
I need time to defend against your attempts.
Not me, please.
I need time to...
Forget what feeling like this,
Once meant.

Not me, please.
Leave my emotions alone!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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