Lord of 'The Perti-Lays of Pages
'Sir...
There are some folks in the courtyard,
Who make claims they are long lost relatives.
And they've seen you take in the morning Sun
On the terrace,
But care not to return their waves and shouts of hello.'
Who are they claiming to be?
'They say the are...Pertee'Lars! '
That's incorrect.
My great, great, great grandfather...
He himself 'then' a poet used the pen name 'Pertill-ah'
And people would 'ooh' and 'ahhh'...
You know,
That sort of thing!
However,
When the Baron of Chestnuts
Bestowed upon my descendants the family crest...
We then became 'The Perti-Lays of Pages'
Royals of Crisp Speech and Poetic Verse.
Do you detect anyone among them with arrogance...
And a large ass ego?
'Yes...
In fact!
They all do! '
ALL?
What on Earth are you saying?
'I am saying there are thousands of them out there,
Just like that! '
LIES!
WHO are they 'claiming' to be...hmmm?
'Pertee'Lars of Public Service, Gorgious Looks...
And Impeccable Dress! '
LIES!
My goodness...
No way?
'Way,
Your Fabulousness!
Much 'way'...
And may I say,
The one giving much 'tude and 'flair'
Says 'he' is the 'original' Lord of 'The Perti-Lays of Pages'
Royals of Crisp Speech and Poetic Verse.
And you are...
Wait a minute.
I've written this down.
He says you are a 'Pompous, Plagiaristic, Two-face
And Twisted Fraud'...'
Hmmm...
And how was the spelling?
'Perfect.'
Any grammatical errors?
Anything denoting a noncomformity
To the rules of language use?
Any verbs, nouns out their proper placement?
Anything at all?
'None.'
Just let 'him' in!
Perhaps we can negotiate a deal.
He seems to be incredibly resourceful.
I am not a match for that kind of mind power.
We need to work together.
And bring this fantasticness under one roof!
'But how...
King of Delusions and Impossible Dreams.'
We'll have to feed from the same recipes!
And build a new wing onto the palace.
And..
IF all of them can cook like he can,
Have mercy on our hips, thighs and asses!
Send him in.
We must chat!
Distribute keys to the 'chalets' surrounding the kingdom,
To the others.
I want flags of the family crest hanging from each terrace.
And I don't want not a one making attempts,
To personalize with slang or nickname garbage!
OR...
Have a raised eyebrow.
Maybe a dropped jaw or two.
None of that...
'I can't believe it business.'
I want them all in comfort!
'What about expenses?
Who will provide for them? '
Don't be silly!
How do you think what is here, happened?
I made it all up? ? ?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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