Begin the Ending of My Dreary Evenings

Everyday it seems to me,
I am craving a need.
And suffering from a desire,
To heat it up...
And slowly feed.
Yes...
I'll confess it.
I am feeling like a kid,
From a much earlier time.
Have I reached some 'peak'?
And a wilting soon begins?

Is this the 'pausing' I've heard so much about?

It is a yearning that burns churning...
With what I can not identify.
It is just not the lust of sex.
It's something coming from someone,
Wanting to be near.
To be with me in comfort and rest.
Every day,
I crave this need.
Inside of me heating.

And everyday...
This gets a bit more acceptably 'weird'.
And undeniably...
A whole lot stranger.

With the weather and relationships.
Abusive are the people.
And they seem to enjoy,
Every last bit of it!
And more of them are classified as normal.
And I feel like I am the one who has gotten sick.
What's up with this...
Everyday!
Putting me in between bliss and mischief.
OH...
It is a yearning that burns churning,
With what?
I can not identify it.
It is just not the lust of sex.
And yet..
Sex it is!
Coming from someone,
Wanting to be near.
In comfort and rest...
After pleasuring our nakedness,
Every day!

I crave this need.
But,
From who?

If I knew I was doing it...
It would be stopped.
And once I had props,
To handle my own business!

And those who know about this...
Can attest I'm not lieing.

But of late...
I've been lieing low,
With 'hold-me-close' desires.

Everyday it seems to me,
I am craving a need.
And suffering from a desire,
To heat it up...
And slowly feed.

Someone out there is preparing me.
For a tongue lashing, lip licking kissing barrage.
And this teasing gives me a lift.

Who is this?
I wonder.
Someone who can just sit and invade my emotions.
And not be close enough to be touched,
By my fingertips and held in my grip...
Until I am ready to pop my nectar.

Could this be unconditional love?
And I am turning it into a miraging fit...
To please my fantasies of it!
Everyday?
To let my passions flow away,
With hopes they will be caught...
And brought back.
Packaged in a graceful carriage.
Zip poppin' hot...
And locked into a chemistry with me.
To begin the ending of my dreary evenings.
And passages like this one I have time to write!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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