Bathtub Gin
Brett is in the bathtub
Making soup for the ambassadors
And I am in the hallway
Singing to the troubadours
The kings are all lined up
Outside the gate
And the autumn bells are ringing
But theyll just have to wait
Where is the joker?
Have you seen him around
With his three coned cap
That he wears like a clown?
Have you seen his stripped stockings
And heard his sad tale
About the kids under the carpet
And the purple humpbacked whales
Here come the ambassadors
They show up one by one
Brett is tasting all the soup
To see if it is done
Wendys on the windowsill
Waiting to be let in
And were all in the bathtub now
Making bathtub gin
The kings storm the hallway
Theyve climbed up through the gate
They didnt mean to be impolite
But they just couldnt wait
Here comes the joker
With his silly grin
He carries a martini
Made of bathtub gin
Here comes the joker
We all must laugh
Cause were all in this together
And we love to take a bath.
song performed by by Phish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
All the Riches of Royalty
The king sat in his silver bathtub one morning
And he realized, as he soaked in the soft bubbles
That you can not rule your kingdom from a silver bathtub
So he did what any other king in a silver bathtub would do-
He got out.
Looking down, he realized that he was standing on his silver rug
And as he dried his arms, he considered that perhaps
You cannot rule a kingdom from a silver bathroom rug
So he slowly stepped off of the rug, and watched the patterns of his feet
Disappear into the silver carpet.
The king walked over to his window and looked over his kingdom.
It lay below him, sparkling in all it's silver beauty
And as he watched, it seemed to come alive with people
Shining like silver in the warm sun
A tear rolled down his quietly down his cheek
And he pondered that
Maybe, just maybe
Being a king is not all that they say it is
poem by Fallen Too Far
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mowing Over More Woes
Leave me with my rubber duckie,
In my bathtub feeling lucky.
These days we live right now are suckie.
And can make one feel so yucky!
With a nitpick, sticky, pricking fit,
That can make one go ballistic quick.
Time alone at home is wanted.
So I disconnect the phone.
Just to sit in quietness,
Away from lip flipped arguments.
To relax and feel free...
To sip,
On a cup of tea!
These days we live right now are suckie.
And can make one feel so yucky!
But when I rub my rubber duckie,
In my bathtub I feel lucky.
Enjoying my time,
Relaxed...
With a cup of tea!
When I rub my rubber duckie,
In my bathtub I feel lucky.
Freed I am from arguments...
To me that makes no bit of sense.
When I rub my rubber duckie,
In my bathtub I feel lucky.
Freed I am from arguments...
To me that makes no bit of sense.
When I rub my rubber duckie,
In my bathtub I feel lucky.
Freed I am from arguments...
To me that makes no bit of sense,
To keep a mowing over more woes.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Joke Ya Mind
Joke ya mind...
Joker jumping joker sing
Joke ya mind...
Wicked clown is in the house
Wake up in my golden bed
Wicked thoughts inside my head
Step outside and glide away
Nothings wicked here today
I can breathe the magic mist
And excell your every wish
Juggla jump from cloud to cloud
Ring them bells, ring them loud
I can jump across the land
Wind up in the emerald sand
Swing the jewels of endless time
Take it all cuz its mine
Pour a bowl of chocolate soup
Serve it with the fruit loop
This is my world I am king
Joker sing, joker sing
Joke ya mind...
Joker jumping joker sing
Joke ya mind...
Wicked clown is in the house
I can fall in love like that
In my world she loves me back
If I chose, I chose alone
Freak is gone, boys is on
Cuz the homies watch your back
Life is over like that
Once its done, its done, its dead
Ticky-tocky-ticky-dead
If you feel the need to go
Go, go, wont ya go
They call you a freak show
Welcome to the carnival
Yes, ladies and gentlemen
The wicked clowns will arrive in your town soon
And believe me, it wont be pretty
Justice must be served
To the uncaring selfish wealthy ones
Be prepared and get ready
To catch 400 years of hell
And, oh, one last note to all
Wicked clown is in the house
Joke ya mind...
Welcome to the carnival
I can breathe the magic mist
And excell your every wish
Juggla jump from cloud to cloud
Ring them bells, ring them loud
song performed by by Insane Clown Posse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Forty Dollar Bathtub
a forty dollar galvanized bathtub!
carrying buckets of water up the hill
to heat on the old cook stove...
i watched you bathing in the kitchen,
in the old house down on Henry River.
fried Spam and pork 'n beans,
moonlit trips to the outhouse....
stray dogs on the porch.
endless truckloads of wood scraps;
we made love through winter nights,
so cold in the room you could see your breath!
you licked the frost from my moustache,
and the world went on without us....
a forty dollar bathtub, buckets of water,
nothing needed, nothing more!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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The Bath-Tub
As a bathtub lined with white porcelain,
When the hot water gives out or goes tepid,
So is the slow cooling of our chivalrous passion,
O my much praised but-not-altogether-satisfactory lady.
poem by Ezra Pound
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I Remember Larry
Say, do you remember that guy larry next door
Well, he always was the neighborhood clown
Like the time he pulled my pants off
And he took those color pictures
And posted copies all over town
Or the time that he dumped toxic waste on my lawn
Or those wacky prank phone calls from midnight till dawn
What a crazy kid larry was, always foolin around
Boy, what a joker
What a funny, funny guy
Ill never forget about larry
No matter how I try
Say, do you remember when I lost all my hair
cause lar gave me that nair shampoo
And hey, how bout the day he put ben gay inside my jockstrap
And filled my toothpaste tube up glue
All those wedgies he gave
All those shoestrings he tied
All those brownies he made with the ex-lax inside
Oh, lar, I swear, it was a laugh a minute with you
Boy, what a joker
What a funny, funny guy
Ill never forget about larry
No matter how I try
You know I couldnt help but laugh
Even though he treated me like slime
Remember when he cut my car in half?
Well, he really got me good that time!
Say, do you remember when I broke in larrys house
Late at night and tied his mouth with a rag
Then I dragged him by his ankles to the middle of the forest
And stuffed him in a big plastic bag
If the cops ever find him, who knows what theyd say
But Im sure if ol lar were still with us today
He would have to agree with me
It was a pretty good gag
Oh boy, what a joker
What a funny, funny guy
Ill never forget about larry
No matter how I try
Oh boy, what a joker
What a funny, funny guy
Ill never forget about larry
No matter how I try
No matter how I try
Oh, I remember larry
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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From The Bathtub To The Ocean
start with the bathtub, scrub yourself
with soap and some perfume
smooth white skin and flawless body
cleaned with soft water
safe on the privacy of your
comfort room
there is no challenge there
there is just this stagnancy
that kills
and numbs the mind
life is more than that
life always
wants an exploration
of the unknown
and so you begin to think of the shore
of the sea
and its waves and its rolling nature
its challenge for you
to swim or take the sail
towards the ocean
beyond the comforts of your domestic mind
you look forward to the vast expanse
of the Atlantic or the Pacific
you anticipate the storms
the cyclones
of your life
the way other people's ships sink
how other people drown
and how they tell you
they survive
and then they start telling you the real meaning of life
you must go
and find the meaning of your life yourself
definitely not in that silly bathtub
it is always in that ocean
the cyclones
the storms after
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Being in a floodplain is like sitting down in a bathtub.
quote by Robert Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He who doesn't die on the battlefield slips in the bathtub.
We never had a bathtub. Mom would bathe me in the wooden or tin washtub in the kitchen, or in a big lard can.
quote by Ethel Waters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our goal is to shrink government to the size where we can drown it in a bathtub.
quote by Grover Norquist
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My goal is to cut government in half in twenty-five years, to get it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.
quote by Grover Norquist
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
quote by Erma Bombeck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Liverpool Days
Wavertree road used to have a café there called
“Tasty Toaster, ” business was good till the formidable
M.T. came to power and low paid worker, my main
costumers, got the sack, and told to go on bikes they
couldn’t afford to buy in the first place.
Above the shop lived a lady teacher, she drank, at ten
in the evening, as I closed and cleaned up, I could hear
her sing, when filling her bathtub with water.
One night, it was raining; she must have had a stroke
or something, the water kept running, rotten floor she
and the bathtub ended up in my café.
Under the door the water ran and down the street, since
it was raining few has noticed. Called the police when
I got there, the landlord came, insisted that I had to pay.
I threaten to sue him; he called me a Polish shit and
blamed me for the holocaust I called him a Jewish shit
and blamed him for Palestine. I finally collected my
insurance money and retired from the catering business
poem by Jan Oskar Hansen
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Playfellow
He is not belongs to any of the cards composing a pack of four suits.
(Hearts, Diamonds, Clubs and Spades.)
Just a plaything and his name is Joker.
When used, it has special rights;
Thus, in Euchre it's the best trump.
* A joker lives in every politician.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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Fairies Day
Before the sun began to rise, a miracle appears
Flying through the moonlit sky making her premier
On a misty blue dragonfly she swirls through the air
Stars shining in her eyes moonbeams in her hair
The fairy queen is Stelli she rings the morning bell
Letting all her subjects know time to weave their spell
From leafs of green, flowers of pink, and vines with purple hue
They stretch, yawn and with a smile make their day’s debut
Their bathtub is a buttercup filled with morning dew
Breakfast is the nectar from a flower of brilliant blue
Fairy wings on the wind spread mischief everywhere
They dip and fly through the sky as music fills the air
Queen wears vibrant colors they sparkle, shine and dance
If you look in her eyes, you will fall into her trance
Her hair is ever changing streaks of black or blond
Lightly she touches down making ripples in the pond
poem by T.James Becker
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Just Couldnt Wait
I miss her face, but the girl left seven years ago.
Guess I never shouldve let her go.
Thats how I feel because I love her so.
But Im afraid that she will never know.
She just couldnt wait, she said she couldnt wait til some day.
She just couldnt wait, my baby just couldnt wait, no.
She said she couldnt wait til some day, til some day.
Oh, tell me now, where do the broken-hearted go from here.
You missed her love and now youre steering clear.
I aint afraid of nothin but my fear.
The fear that she might see this rollin tear.
She just couldnt wait, she said she couldnt wait til sunday.
She just couldnt wait, my baby just couldnt wait, no.
She just couldnt wait, my baby just couldnt wait, no.
Oh she couldnt wait til sunday no, til sunday.
She just couldnt wait, my baby just couldnt wait, no.
She said she couldnt wait til sunday.
She just couldnt wait, my baby just couldnt wait, no.
She said she just couldnt wait.
You know she just couldnt wait, no.
She said she couldnt wait til sunday, til sunday.
Oh, oh...
song performed by by Grand Funk Railroad
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If The World Was Crazy
If the world was crazy, you know what I'd eat?
A big slice of soup and a whole quart of meat,
A lemonade sandwich, and then I might try
Some roasted ice cream or a bicycle pie,
A nice notebook salad, and underwear roast,
An omelet of hats and some crisp cardboard toast,
A thick malted milk made from pencils and daisies,
And that's what I'd eat if the world was crazy.
If the world was crazy, you know what I'd wear?
A chocolate suit and a tie of eclair,
Some marshmallow earmuffs, some licorice shoes,
And I'd read a paper of peppermint news.
I'd call the boys 'Suzy' and I'd call the girls 'Harry,'
I'd talk through my ears, and I always would carry
A paper unbrella for when it grew hazy
To keep in the rain, if the world was crazy.
If the world was crazy, you know what I'd do?
I'd walk on the ocean and swim in my shoe,
I'd fly through the ground and I'd skip through the air,
I'd run down the bathtub and bathe on the stair.
When I met somebody I'd say 'G'bye, Joe,'
And when I was leaving - then I'd say 'Hello.'
And the greatest of men would be silly and lazy
So I would be king... if the world was cazy.
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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All The Kings Horses
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Couldnt put me back together again
My heart lies in pieces all over the ground
Whos gonna help me when youre not around
And I know inside me ,that nobody cares
Whatever happens to me
I live my life as a plea
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Couldnt put me back together again
I was in love when I sat on my wall
No one could hurt me , no one at all
And I know that somewhere my love walked away
She threw my love to the sky
Nothing to do but to cry
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Couldnt put me back together again
All the kings horses , all the kings horses
All the kings horses , all the kings horses
song performed by by Bee Gees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I noticed every time I spent a lot of time in the bathtub, I would just get fantastic realizations about myself, and they were so valuable and liberating.
quote by Leonard Orr
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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