I just bought a microwave fireplace. You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes.
Steven Wright in Standup Comedy Routine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Me And My Old Cat Sam
I sit here all alone well
Me and my old cat Sam
Rocking back and fro
As my
Chair squeaks
As I rock
In front of the old fireplace
Just me and my old cat
Sam
Knitting mittens
Singing while my cat sam takes
A nap
I’m growing old
Still alone
Me and my old cat Sam and my
Old rocking chair
As the fireplace is cracking while
The
Red blue flames seem to cracker
And pop
As it
Burn so happily it seem's
My chair squeaks my cat nod as I
Rock
In my rocking chair back and fro
Cheerfully in front of my old
Fireplace
With red and blue flames highlighting
The wall and ceilings
Me and my old cat Sam as he nod’s
I rock back and fro
While my rocking chair squeaks along
With the fireplace cracker and
Popping..
poem by Carolyn Sears
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I was lucky enough to get to perform on stage in front of 20 million people on TV, and 150 thousand in concerts. For 15 minutes I got to be a rock star, the 15 minutes is great! It turns into Spinal Tap after 20 minutes.
quote by Mark Mothersbaugh
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Last Worthless Evening
I know you broke up with him
And your hearts still on the shelf
Its been over two years for me
And Im still not quite myself
You cant be with someone new
And you cant go back to him
Youre beginning to realize
That its sink or swim
I see you around sometimes
And my heart just melts
Youre lookin like if you had your wish
Youd be somewhere else
And it just breaks my heart
To see you here this way
Someday Ill get the nerve
To walk up to you and say
This is the last worthless evening
That youll have to spend
Just gimme a chance
To show you how to love again
This is the last worthless evening
That youll have to spend
cause Ill be there
When your broken heart is on the mend
Every night its the same old crowd
In smoky rooms
You catch a faint glimpse of love sometimes
But it never blooms
Ive been around this block a time or two
And Ive made some big mistakes
But girl I promise you, I promise you
That this is the worthless evening
That youll have to spend
Just gimme a chance
To show you how to love again
This is the last worthless evening
That youll have to spend
cause it wont be long
till your little heart is on the mend
People inside their houses
With the shades pulled down
God knows, we could use some romance
In this sleepy bedroom town
I know youre still afraid to rush into anything
But therere just so many summers
And just so many springs
And this is the last worthless evening
That youll have to spend
Just gimme a chance to show you how
To love again
This is the last worthless evening
That youll have to spend, baby
cause Ill be there when your broken heart
Is on the mend
This is the last worthless evening
That youll have to spend
Just gimme a chance, gimme a chance
To show you how to love again
This is the last worthless evening
That youll have to spend cause it wont be long
til your little heart is on the mend
song performed by by Don Henley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lust or love?
If it’s lust or love
nobody will ever know
and the night in front of the hot fireplace
I cannot forget easily
and still both are at times
part of what is in a relationship
between two people.
Strangely the lust eats me
were I stand almost naked
at the fireplace
and small john,
tries to stand just as upright
and big as big john.
There are flames from the fireplace
flashing in your eyes
when I take my underpants off
and your white face
is suddenly strangely pure,
while the inner fire
eats both of us
and the nipples of your big breasts
erect and prominent
almost magically draws my fingers.
Your mouth is hot,
soft and sweet
and your body
better to play with
that the strings of a guitar
and there are passion that abate in us
and when I disappear in your depths
there’s pleasure that at times
builds and subsides
and later we both
hit the right chord
poem by Gert Strydom
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Before I do a play I say that I hope it's going to be for as short a time as possible but, once you do it, it is a paradoxical pleasure. One evening out of two there are five minutes of a miracle and for those five minutes you want to do it again and again. It's like a drug.
quote by Isabelle Huppert
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Last Worthless Evening
I know you broke up with him
And your heart's still on the shelf
It's been over two years for me
And I'm still not quite myself
You can't be with someone new
And you can't go back to him
You're beginning to realize
That it's sink or swim
I see you around sometimes
And my heart just melts
You're lookin' like if you had your wish
You'd be somewhere else
And it just breaks my heart
To see you here this way
Someday I'll get the nerve
To walk up to you and say
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
Just gimme a chance
To show you how to love again
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
'Cause I'll be there
When your broken heart is on the mend
Every night it's the same old crowd
in smokey rooms
You catch a faint glimpse of love sometimes
But it never blooms
I've been around this block a time or two
And I've made some big mistakes
But girl I promise you, I promise you
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
Just gimme a chance
To show you how to love again
This is the last worthless evening
that you'll have to spend
'Cause it won't be long
'Till your little heart is on the mend
People inside their houses
with the shades pulled down
God knows, we could use some romance
in this sleepy bedroom town
I know you're still afraid to rush into anything
But there're just so many summers
And just so many springs
And this is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend, baby
Just gimme a chance, gimme a chance
To show you love again
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend 'cause it won't be long
'Til your little heart is on the mend
That you'll have to spend
Just gimme a chance to show you how
to love again
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend 'cause it won't be long
'Til your little heart is on the mend
Written by Don Henley, John Corey and Stan Lynch
*Produced by Don Henley, John Corey and Stan Lynch
John Corey--guitars, keyboards
Bob Glaub--bass
Stan Lynch--percussion
Mike Campbell--additional guitar
(c) 1988 Cass County Music/Grey Hare Music ASCAP
song performed by by Don Henley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The old never lack for a story when they're standing in the sun or in front of a warm fireplace.
When I retire I'm going to spend my evenings by the fireplace going through those boxes. There are things in there that ought to be burned.
quote by Richard Milhous Nixon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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25 Minutes To Go
They're buildin' the gallows outside my cell.
I got 25 minutes to go.
And in 25 minutes I'll be in Hell.
I got 24 minutes to go.
Well, they give me some beans for my last meal.
23 minutes to go.
And you know... nobody asked me how I feel.
I got 22 minutes to go.
So, I wrote to the Gov'nor... the whole damned bunch.
Ahhh... 21 minutes to go.
And I call up the Mayor, and he's out to lunch.
I got 20 more minutes to go.
Well, the Sheriff says, 'Boy, I wanna watch you die'.
19 minutes to go.
I laugh in his face... and I spit in his eye.
I got 18 minutes to go.
Well...I call out to the Warden to hear my plea.
17 minute to go.
He says, 'Call me back in a week or three.
You've got 16 minutes to go.'
Well, my lawyer says he's sorry he missed my case.
Mmmm....15 minutes to go.
Yeah, well if you're so sorry, come up and take my place.
I got 14 minutes to go.
Well, now here comes the padre to save my soul
With 13 minutes to go.
And he's talkin' about burnin', but I'm so damned cold.
I got 12 more minutes to go.
Now they're testin' the trap. It chills my spine.
I got 11 minutes to go.
'Cuz the goddamned thing it works just fine.
I got 10 more minutes to go.
I'm waitin' for the pardon... gonna set me free
With 9 more minutes to go.
But this ain't the movies, so to hell with me.
I got 8 more minutes to go.
And now I'm climbin up the ladder with a scaffold peg
With 7 more minutes to go.
I've betta' watch my step or else I'll break my leg.
I got 6 more minutes to go.
Yeah... with my feet on the trap and my head in the noose...
5 more minutes to go.
Well, c'mon somethin' and cut me loose.
I got 4 more minutes to go.
I can see the mountains. I see the sky.
3 more minutes to go.
And it's too damned pretty for a man to die.
i got 2 more minutes to go
I can hear the buzzards... hear the crows.
1 more minute to go.
And now I'm swingin' and here I gooooooooo....
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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Wild Thing
Wild thing
You made the boys spring
You made everything expensive
Spend it, spend it, wild thing
Theres hardly a man left around that you havent sought out
Theres hardly a dress shop in town that you havent bought out
In case youre wondering why the hair salon wouldnt take you
Theres hardly a woman left in any state that doesnt hate you
Wild thing
You made the boys spring
You made everything expensive
Spend it, spend it, wild thing
Its truly awesome
When she was younger she thought her mother had missed her calling
And she, in turn, thought that her daughters conduct was appalling
After each date she had the boys, went home and dreamed of spiders
She never fell for any man who wasnt rich as midas
Wild thing
You made the boys spring
You made everything expensive
Spend it, spend it, wild thing
Its truly awesome
If theres a lesson to be learned then Im sure I dont know it
Weve all been waiting twenty years to see her finally blow it
But as far as I can tell shes happy, rich, and worry-free
And thats a hell of a lot more than I can say for me
Wild thing
You made the boys spring
You made everything expensive
Spend it, spend it wild thing
Wild thing
You made your heart sing
You bought everything you wanted
Spend it, spend it, wild thing
It was truly awesome
Thats my girl, go baby!
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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042811B looking for easy venue
you notice more and more of
us consuming microwaveables
yes, i have this bowl of ravioli
which is dollar and fifty cents
i pop metal lid, throw it away
put in microwave for 3 minutes
i do save lots of time for lunch
how healthy could be, question
this saves me good five bucks
that's a gallon of gas and candy
for a poor guy like me, stretching
to keep going on this lovely planet
poem by Manonton Dalan
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Ten Minutes Aint Enough
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With a chat that sits.
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With eyes that are fixed.
And not drifting.
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
Some may wish a quick...
Beginning that swiftly ends.
With nothing to explore.
But an exit out a door!
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With a chat that sits.
There has to be a bit of teased acquaintance.
With eyes that are fixed.
And not just there to lift and drift.
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To have my needs satisfactorily pleased.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
Ten minutes aint enough,
No!
To know what I want before it leaves.
Ten minutes aint enough.
Ten minutes aint enough!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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In the steps of Rumi 86: The Mirror
This mirror.
She has stood in front of it for many minutes;
this; that;
finally asked the mirror silently
its opinion.
The mirror agreed with the perfection
that she saw in herself now, in front of it..
Now she leaves the room.
The mirror has nothing to reflect.
While it’s reflecting nothing,
steal up to it from the side,
admire it. Maybe praise it
by polishing it. Wonder, how it is
that it has an in front of it,
yet no behind it.
Wonder how it is
that it never lies,
always tells the truth,
yet agrees with all we see in it..
Wonder too, how it brings
all who stand in front of it, to silence..
bestows this rare blessing upon all,
which is beyond the ability of men,
of books..
Somewhere where ideas emerge
from nowhere into somewhere,
then roam anywhere and everywhere,
mind and mirror were given a secret which they share.
poem by Michael Shepherd
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30 Minutes
Mama, papa forgive me
Out of sight, out of mind
Out of time to decide
Do we run? should I hide
For the rest of my life
Can we fly? do we stay?
We could lose we could fail
And the more minutes take
To make planer, or mistakes
30 minutes, the blink of the night
30 minutes to alter our lifes
30 minutes to make up my mind
30 minutes to finally decide
30 minutes to whisper your name
30 minutes to shelter the blame
30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies
30 minutes to finally decide
Carousels in the sky
That we shape with our eyes
Under shade silhouettes casting
Shapes crying rain
Can we fly do I stay
We could lose, we could fail
Either way, options change
Chances fail, trains derail.
30 minutes, the blink of the night
30 minutes to all of our lifes
30 minutes to make up my mind
30 minutes to finally decide
30 minutes to whisper your name
30 minutes to show her the blame
30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies
30 minutes to finally decide
To decide, to decide to decide to decide
(repeat until fade)
song performed by by Tatu
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Eight Minutes To One
In the early hours the radio alarm
went off at eight minutes to one
despite me setting it earlier for six
and checking that it was on.
Now wide awake I rechecked the setting;
and I had definitely made no mistake.
I put it down to an electrical malfunction
and fell asleep until it was time to wake.
I didn’t think any more about the alarm
and continued with my normal day.
The alarm was already set for six o’clock
so I went to bed in the usual way.
At eight minutes to one the alarm went off
exactly the same time as the previous night.
Again I checked on my alarm settings
and again everything was set right.
This time I unplugged the whole radio unit
and recalibrated the time and alarm.
I was now happy that all would be okay
and fell asleep relaxed and calm.
The following night I went to bed as usual
and slept until eight minutes to one.
The cursed radio alarm went off again,
so this radio’s days were done.
The next day I bought an electrical travel clock
and tried out the alarm there and then.
It worked like a charm and I was very pleased,
so that night I went to bed at ten.
At eight minutes to one the alarm went off again
and I could hardly believe this to be true.
I was faced with a problem that had to be sorted,
and a mechanical clock should do.
I bought a large brass, twin belled wind up clock;
set the alarm and several times tried it out.
That night I retired expecting a good night’s sleep,
with no electrics to care about.
At eight minutes to one the alarm went off,
and I threw the clock against the wall.
I was now convinced something supernatural
was causing the earlier morning call.
Over the next few days I tried several clocks
and the alarms went off the same.
In the end I didn’t have a clock in the room,
and I never will again.
poem by Orlando Belo
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The Last Five Minutes Of Your Life
given the last five minutes
of your life
what shall you do?
let the last five minutes
be a waiting
let there be that willingness
to go where the last five minutes take you
let there be a respect
for an ending
let it be as nice as the first welcome
let it be as silent as a cat's feet
on the carpet
embrace the last five minutes
like your long lost friend
tightly
without any tears.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Be Here In The Morning
Its been such a long day so you better hurry home
Lit all my incense and I wish you were home
Only five minutes and you walk through my door
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life full
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life
Stay here on the weekend and unplug the phone
(alright then)
No calls from korthoff, parks, or grillo
I only hope that you come here alone
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life full
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Be Here In The Mornin'
It's been such a long day so you better hurry home
Lit all my incense and i wish you were home
Only five minutes and you walk through my door
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life full
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life
Stay here on the weekend and unplug the phone
(alright then)
No calls from korthoff, parks, or grillo
I only hope that you come here alone
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life full
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life
Be here in the morning
Be here in the evening
Be here and make my life
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I miss you
Tonight I am alone again
and know how miserable separation is
and wish that we
could discover the heat of flames
in front of the fireplace
and only you and me could be in our own world.
Winter’s first cold fingers
is already here
and time flashes bye
and I miss you.
poem by Gert Strydom
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Christmas (A Sestina)
Christmas is here, Jesus to the world brought peace
Everyone is rested as kids spend time with family
Kitchens are ablaze, wives creating good ol’ soul-food
Leslie and Destra, await their turn, under the mistletoe
Love is burning bright, outshining the fireplace
And playing kids fill the house with laughter
Worries are swept away, sadness replaced by laughter
As love flies through the air, enemies make peace
Whilst sweet carols are sung by the fireplace
We thank God for the greatest gift of family
As grandma and grandpa steal a kiss, under the mistletoe
My tummy just yelled: where is my soul-food?
Memories to the tongue, grandma’s special soul-food
Don’t know how, but to my tongue, it brings laughter.
Grandma and Grandpa are still under the mistletoe
Showing love so ancient, a picture of heaven’s peace
They are the beginning and measure of our family
Captured purely in pictures taken by the fireplace
Love bubbles deep within, and around the fireplace
As its oil fuses with the spice of Grandma’s soul-food.
Moriah, the youngest; four weeks added to the family
Her little eyes sparkle, her little face filled with laughter
Looking at her, so lovely, One is taken into peace
In times coming soon, her place would be the mistletoe
Her's would be lovely and her destiny the mistletoe
And she too, someday would have her own fireplace
As she grows to celebrate and cherish Christmas peace,
She would learn from Grandma, how to craft soul-food
Her kids would fill the house solely with laughter
As one day, she would have her a family
Fresh out the womb, Moriah completes the family
Even as Grandma and her boo are still by the mistletoe
Their love brings to the heart tears and laughter
Treasures of joy. Now we depart from the fireplace
To the table to dive into some soul-food
That the wives had made in love, and peace.
Thank God for family! Gazing at the fireplace
And the mistletoe, loving me some soul-food
That sets my tongue on laughter, I thank God for peace.
Copyright © 2009 Leslie Alexis
poem by Leslie Alexis
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