If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
quote by Johnny Carson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
quote by Johnny Carson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
John & Elvis Are Dead
Close friend of mine as a child fell into a slumber
No sign of life since '75
Then one day he just, what do you know
I guess God just called his number
He called me up he called me up and said
I've been awake about a week
I'm thinking about asking the doctor
If he could put me back to sleep
Then he laughed and said
Hey all the girls they look the same
Don't they know just what their mothers
Paid in blood, and tears to change
But the words that made me cry
The thing he softly said
It stayed with me, it keeps messing with my head
He said, If Jesus Christ is alive and well
Then how come John & Elvis are dead?
Youth, beautiful youth
We walked through the walls until we found the truth
And said Change it, it's ugly just change it
Everyone we used to know
Must have given up, so long ago
You can see it, it's written on their faces
And the inside of their clothes
But the words that made me cry
'Cos I knew just what they meant
He turned to me and said
Hey boy, if Jesus Christ is alive and well
Then how come John & Elvis are dead?
Tell me if Jesus Christ is alive and well
Then how come Marvin & Elvis are dead?
I said If Jesus Christ is going to save us from ourselves
How come peace, love and Elvis are dead?
song performed by by George Michael
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I'm Alive (That Was The Day My Dead Pet Returned To Save My Life)
I was just kicking down the street
And the sun was in my eyes
So I couldn't see the truck
That was sixty times my size
And just seconds off from splattering me
Let me tell you
I was so scared I couldn't move
Like my boots were full of glue
Then I felt a little tug
And I thought of good Old Blue
And he pulled me from that catastrophe
That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
I'm alive
He's alive
I'm alive
I was spitting in the canyon
Near the cliff up on the mountain
When an unexpected sneeze
Hung me in the breeze
At forty five degrees in the sky
Suddenly I felt something
Had me by the belt
And in between my praying
Swore I heard a stallion neighing
Was the ghost of my horse
And I cried, yes I cried
That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
I'm alive
He's alive
Hey, I'm alive
Things were getting gory
Got caught on territory
Belonging to the Crutches
In an alley in their clutches
Looking kind of dismal that night
Well the leader's name was Fats
Swinging broken baseball bats
Things got really frantic
Starting jumping in their panic
That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
That was the day
My dead pet returned to save my life
I'm alive, I'm alive, real alive
That was the day my dead pet returned
That was the day my dead pet returned
That was the day my dead pet returned
That was the day my dead pet returned
To save my life
Hallucinating billions of rats
Lots of rats
I'm alive, I'm alive
He's alive, he's alive, he's alive
I'm alive, yeah
He's alive, he's alive
I'm alive, real alive
Alive, alive, alive
Alive, alive, alive, alive
Alive, alive, alive, alive
I'm alive
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Velvet Elvis
My life, it used to be incomplete
till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet
My life it wont be the same again
Now Im proud to say the king lives on inside my den
Oh, its all I live for, its all I need
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis means the world to me
Although he may not be worth much dough
He means much more to me than some old rembrandt or van gogh
Check out those sideburns, theres nothing greater
You can tell that hes no velvet elvis imitator
Oh, its all I live for, its all I need
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis
Oh, now you cant you see
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis means the world to me
In my own private graceland
In my own little shrine to the king
I dont want nothin else
No, I dont need anything
Dont need no lava lamp
Dont need no soap on a rope
No pictures of mexican kids with those really big eyes
Or dogs playing poker
When Im at home watching my tv
I know the king is always looking down on me
He looks so handsome, he stands so tall
So glad hes big enough to cover up that hole in the wall
(velvet elvis) hes so fuzzy
(velvet elvis) hes so great
(velvet elvis) never ages
(velvet elvis) never puts on weight
(velvet elvis) look at those rhinestones
(velvet elvis) hes just so fine
(velvet elvis) you can look but dont touch now
(velvet elvis) cause hes mine all mine
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Everything Zen
there must be something we can eat
maybe find another lover
should I fly to Los Angeles
find my asshole brother
minnie mouse has grown up a cow
dave's on sale again
we kissy kiss in the rear view
we're so bored
you're to blame
try to see it once my way
everything zen
everything zen
I don't think so
raindogs howl for the century
a million dollars a steak
as you search for your demi-god
and you fake with a saint
there's no sex in your violence
there's no sex in your violenc
try to see it once my way
everything zen
everything zen
I don't think so
I don't believe that elvis is dead
I don't believe that elvis is dead
I don't believe that elvis is
song performed by by Bush from Sixteen Stone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?
quote by Irv Kupcinet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive
quote by Irv Kupcinet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
quote by Irv Kupcinet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Hallucinating Elvis
(lebon, rhodes, cuccurrullo)
I was hallucinating
I was hallucinating
I was hallucinating elvis
Hawaii to las vegas
Special treatment all the way
Hallucinating elvis
Missing eighteen hours
Losing oxygen to the brain
Lyin on the floor
Theres a limit
How much more I can take
Rhinestone inside my shoe
Coz Im turning into you now
I was hallucinating
I was hallucinating
I was hallucinating
Elvis
I was hallucinating
I was hallucinating
I was hallucinating
Elvis
Fbi are tapping the kings phone
74 hes trapped in his home
Hidden camera, two way mirror walls
Walkie talkie, kung fu
Then the president calls
I was hallucinating elvis
Hawaii to las vegas
Special treatment all the way
Hallucinating elvis
Missing eighteen hours
Losing oxygen to the brain
Who ever has to know
Tune in to my show
What you see aint what you get
Shootin movies and thetv set
Elvis elvis elvis elvis
Elvis elvis elvis elvis
song performed by by Duran Duran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
They say Elvis is dead. I say, no, you're looking at him. Elvis isn't dead; he just changed color.
quote by Dennis Rodman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Simple As That
I know it isnt easy to refuse
A lot of thoughts are flying thru your head
Tell me this before you have to choose
Would you rather be alive or dead?
Its as simple as that
Would you rather be alive or dead
Its as simple as that, its so simple
It makes you wanna cry
They ask you if you wanna join in
You linger for a minute or so
Well nows a perfect time to begin
Are you gonna say yes or no?
Its as simple as that
Are you gonna say yes or no?
If s as simple as that, its so simple
It makes you wanna cry
And if you love your life
Everybody will love you too
Yes if you love your life
Everybody will love you too
Its harder when you start to get round
I want you to remember what I said
I know you never like to let them down
But would you rather be alive or dead?
Its as simple as that
Would you rather be alive or dead?
Its as simple as that, if s so simple
It makes me wanna cry
Yes if you love your life
Everybody will love you too
And if you love your life
Everybody will love you too
Would you rather be alive or dead?
Would you rather be alive or dead?
Would you?
Its as simple as that
Its as simple as that
Its as simple as that
And if you love your life
Everybody will love you too
Yes if you love your life
Everybody will love you too
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Elvis, Be True
Everyones talking bout elvis
cause it seems like the thing that we do
Elvis is walking around listlessly
Seems he cant even die if he wanted to
Its a bad business to be in
You dont get thanked and you dont get paid
Its a hard world to be in with
And to end with, and to think about leaving behind
Exhuming the body in memphis
Waiting five hours to get into graceland
Is this anybodys idea of a good time or a good joke?
Airport biographies are usually true
Fame and fortune took its toll
Hes not the king of rock and roll anymore
Hes just a junkie redneck
Pull the sheet over your head
Fold your arms across your chest
Lie back in bed, you can call folks constantly tomorrow
Ohhh, everyones talking bout elvis
cause it seems like a thing that we do
Elvis is living too fat and slow now
To care what we say about him
Picking up hitchhiking elvises
Christening babies at the foot of his grave
He was watching tv and laughing to himself
Just had to tell someone how he did it
Elvis, be good to me
Elvis, be true
Elvis, I love you
Elvis, be true
Elvis, be near me
Elvis, be mine
Elvis, come back to me
Please, elvis, be fine
Everythings coming up roses
Everythings coming up elvis
Everythings coming up roses
Everythings coming up elvis
Elvis
Elvis
Elvis
Elvis, be true
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Wanted Dead Or Alive
Written by: j. cannata and m. soldan
Dead or alive
They say that crime dont pay
(wanted) dead or alive
I was born to be a runaway
When youre out on your own
You can be so alone
City livin means breakin the rules
Once youre in you never get out
Theres just no way to stop
Theres nowhere to go theyre draggin you down
cos youre the one they want
Dead or alive
They say that crime dont pay
(wanted) dead or alive
I was born to be a runaway
If the street is your friend
Gotta fight to the end
Soldiers of fortune they never give up
And once youre out you have it made
You rake your way to the top
Nowhere to go theyre draggin you down
cos youre the one they want
Dead or alive
They say that crime dont pay
(wanted) dead or alive
I was born to be a runaway
Wanted dead or alive
Take it or leave it break all the rules
Once youre in you never get out
Theres just no way to stop
Theres nowhere to go theyre draggin you down
cos youre the one they want
Dead or alive
I was born to be a runaway
(wanted) dead or alive
I was born to be a runaway, anyway, (runaway)
Wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
song performed by by April Wine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Threnos
IN o more for us the little sighing.
No more the winds at twilight trouble us.
Lo the fair dead!
No more do I burn.
No more for us the fluttering of wings
That whirred in the air above us.
Lo the fair dead!
No more desire flayeth me,
No more for us the trembling
At the meeting of hands.
Lo the fair dead!
No more for us the wine of the lips,
No more for us the knowledge.
Lo the fair dead!
No more the torrent,
No more for us the meeting-place
(Lo the fair dead!)
Tintagoel.
poem by Ezra Pound
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Dead Or Alive
Dont turn off the light
You might draw the queen of spades
Dont shut the door
You dont need to be alone
I wont bring you no food
There might be some poison in your meat
Ive got to know are you dead or alive
Dont shut the door are you dead or alive
Dead or alive
Pick your window youre leaving
Dont look in the mirror
With a dollar up your face
Youve got money to burn
Youre cheap at half the price
Oh dont powder your nose
Dont blow your brains just for the the
Crack
Ive got to know are you dead or alive
Just for the crack are you dead or alive
Dead or alive
Pick your window youre leaving
Youre running so fast
But you know youre standing still
Im afraid of your shadow
And the knife in its hand
Youre dancing with death
To the tune of the dealer
And he dont care
Dont give a toss
Dont want to know if youre dead or alive
Dont want to know if youre dead or alive
Dead or alive
Pick your window youre leaving
song performed by by Deep Purple
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Dead Or Alive
There in the shadows, looks like a hand
Without its owner, to give it a command
Its got a purpose but I dont know what it is
Im in trouble
There in the streets, looks like a man
But something wrong that I dont understand
His eyes are open but he dont see a thing
His skin is peeling off, his bones are sticking out
Im getting scared
Oh my God (is it dead? )
Is it living? (is it dead? )
Is it dead or alive?
(is it dead? ), is it dead? (is it dead? )
Is it dead? (is it dead? )
Is it dead or alive?
Hiding in the cupboards, like little mice
Hiding in the frigerator, that isnt nice
Its not an animal, it dont have legs
No one else can see it
It moves so fast, corner of my eye
Look again its gone, its hiding
Wont somebody help me, doesnt anybody care?
It waits so patiently, for me to lose my guard
Im getting scared
Is it dead, is it
(is it dead)
Is it dead
(is it dead)
Is it dead or alive
(is it dead)
Is it dead
(is it dead)
Is it dead, is it
I remember there was a time
When dead and buried meant just that
Underneath the cold dark ground
Things stay put!
Oh them bones they make them bodies walk
Them bones, them bones
If they could only talk!
Is it dead (fade)
song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Voices From The Other Side
Voices from the other side
coming through
loud and precise
Sometimes they think
they are alive
and we are dead
They get confused
because the living
never seem to live
their life
Making it harder
for them to survive
because they can't
understand why we
are alive and they are dead
when most of us waste our life
poem by Dave Alan Walker
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Suicide Wonders
I walk
Dead or Alive
I may look
Alive on the outside
But on the inside
Im dead
Some can see
Past the mask I put on
Everyday
To cover up
My true emotions
But do they say
Anything to anyone
Of course not
They want me dead
As much as I want
Myself to be dead
And that
Is truly a lot
I know
People do not
Want me around
And Im fine with that
I get it
So just think
When you hear
That someone in
Your school
Has commited suicide
Think
Wonder
If you were
A reason why
They commited suicide
And if you know
That do didnt
Think again
Because you
Could have done something
To help
Save that life
poem by Allison Unknown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Dead Or Alive
Well the new sheriff sent me a letter
Yes the new sheriff sent me a letter
He said, come up and see me dead or alive,
Come up and see me dead or alive.
Well its a hard road dead or alive
Its a hard road dead or alive
Well its a hard road dead or alive
Its a hard road dead or alive
Well I really dont like your hard rock hotel (yeah) sheriff
Well I really dont like your hard rock hotel, sheriff
Dead or alive, no sheriff
Dead or alive, no sheriff
Well its a hard road dead or alive
And its a hard road dead or alive
And its a hard road dead or alive
And its a hard road dead or alive
Well he even sent me my picture
(oh yeah, and hello)
He even sent me my picture
(yeah yeah)
Hey, how do I look boy (wonderful)
Dead or alive?
How do I look boy (sweet) dead or alive?
Its a hard road dead or alive
Its a hard road dead or alive
Well, its a hard road dead or alive
And its a hard road dead or alive
Dead or alive
Dead or alive
Dead or alive
Dead or alive
Dead or alive
Dead or alive
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.
quote by David Letterman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!