How Much Tequila
How much tequila did i drink last night?
It's really anybody's guess.
I poured them so fast,
I couldn't keep them in the glass,
But this morning i sure am a mess.
My head is four or five times its normal size
And i got this big old cactus stuck between my eyes.
I can't recall a single thing i did or said
Or the names of all these people sleeping in this bed.
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
Tell me how much tequila did i drink last night?
How did i get these cuts and bruises all over my body?
I must have fallen down somehow.
I believe it had something to do with karate
-- it's all coming back to me now.
I was standing in a bar with king kong's cousin,
He must have been seven foot three.
His elbow gave me a bump, and so i said "hey, chump,
Would you like to step outside with me?"
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
Tell me how much tequila did i drink last night?
My mouth is filled with cotton and my brain is sore.
I left last night's dinner on this morning's floor.
My stomach is swollen and my eyeballs shrunk.
I drank so much that my hair got drunk.
I see a big old worm about ten feet long
Hallucinating purple cows.
Somebody moved the furniture while i was gone.
Uh oh, this is not my house.
I could call us a taxi on the telephone
If i only knew where we are.
I guess i'm gonna have to drive myself back home
As soon as i can find the car.
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
Tell me how much tequila did i drink last night?
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
I've been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it's never been about drinking to get drunk. I don't do that. I never drink tequila during the day, and I don't drive at night.
quote by Sammy Hagar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Have A Drink On Me
Whiskey, gin and brandy
With a glass Im pretty handy
Im trying to walk a straight line
On sour mash and cheap wine
So join me for a drink boys
Were gonna make a big noise
So dont worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the cheque
Well get hell to pay
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
On me
Come on
Dizzy, drunk and fightin
On tequila white lightnin
My glass is getting shorter
On whiskey, ice and water
So come on and have a good time
And get blinded out of your mind
So dont worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the cheque
Well get hell to pay
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
On me
Get stoned
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah
Have a drink on me
Come on
Oooh
Gonna roll around
Gonna hit the ground
Take another swing
Have another drink
Gonna drink it dry
Gonna get me high
Come on all the boys
Make a noise
Chorus
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink oooooooon me
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tequila Talkin'
I called about that conversation that I had with you last night
It must have been a combination of shooters and neon lights
And I didn't really mean to say
I've been losing it since you left
Yeah I may have said the words, but they came from somewhere else
It was just the tequila talkin'
When I told you I'm still not over you
I get a little sentimental when I've had one or two
And that tear in my eye was the salt and the lime
Not the memory of you walkin'
If I said I'm still in love with you
It was just the tequila talkin'
I don't know what they put in Cuervo that got me to say those things
Usually I wouldn't care so much of make such a scene
But seeing you there in that dress you were wearing
Just drove me right out of my head
So don't hold me responsible for anything I might've said
It was just the tequila talkin'
When I told you I'm still not over you
I get a little sentimental when I've had one or two
And that tear in my eye was the salt and the lime
Not the memory of you walkin'
If I said I'm still in love with you
It was just the tequila talkin'
If I said I'm still in love with you
It was just the tequila talkin'
song performed by by Lonestar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Absence
in the boat
we were decent people
on a party
this cruise leaving
for the Caribbean
at night
the grand party
begins
you drink cognac
it is a need
you always want
to belong
but there is none
that you can
find
in the middle of
this ocean
you are always an
island
you see a continent
behind you
it does not always
see you
you drink some more
you wish
death upon a tequila
on tomorrow's
sunset
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tequlia Talkin
(bill labounty/chris waters)
I called about that conversation that I had with you last night
It must have been a combination of shooters and neon lights
And I didnt really mean to say
Ive been losing it since you left
Yeah I may have said the words, but they came from somewhere else
It was just the tequila talkin
When I told you Im still not over you
I get a little sentimental when Ive had one or two
And that tear in my eye was the salt and the lime
Not the memory of you walkin
If I said Im still in love with you
It was just the tequila talkin
I dont know what they put in cuervo that got me to say those things
Usually I wouldnt care so much of make such a scene
But seeing you there in that dress you were wearing
Just drove me right out of my head
So dont hold me responsible for anything I mightve said
It was just the tequila talkin
When I told you Im still not over you
I get a little sentimental when Ive had one or two
And that tear in my eye was the salt and the lime
Not the memory of you walkin
If I said Im still in love with you
It was just the tequila talkin
If I said Im still in love with you
It was just the tequila talkin
song performed by by Lonestar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tequila Sunrise
It's another Tequila Sunrise
Staring slowly cross the sky
I said goodbye
And he was just a hired hand
Working on the dreams he planed to try
As days go by
And ever night when the sun goes down
Just another lonely boy in town
And shes out runnin' round
She wasn't just another woman
And I couldn't keep from coming home
It's been so long
Ho and it's a hollow feeling
When it comes down to seeing friends
It never ends
Take another shot at courage
And wonder why the right words never come
You just get none
It's another Tequila Sunrise
this whole world still looks the same
another friend
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tequila Mockingbird
(pam tillis/mel tillis, jr.)
Its a slow, smoky scene at the county line cantina
Where strangers stop to hear her sing a song
Shes a legend round these parts
For stealing all the hearts of cowboys on their way to san antone
She used to be a desert rose with ballerina toes
But that wasnt in the cards she chose to play
The pages of her life are wrinkled, but her spanish eyes still twinkle
Every time she steps out on the stage
Tequila mockingbird, flying underneath the neon moon
Tequila mockingbird, dreaming of a love that ended too soon
She sings the saddest song you ever heard
So bittersweet
Tequila mockingbird, tequila mockingbird
Well now once she had a man, and they called him diamond dan
He was wild and reckless as a mustang stud
til one night tequila found him with the gamblers gathered round him
Lyin in a pool of cheaters blood
Tequila mockingbird, flying underneath the neon moon
Tequila mockingbird, dreaming of a love that ended too soon
She sings the saddest song you ever heard
So bittersweet
Tequila mockingbird, tequila mockingbird
She sings ooh hoo, woo hoo hoo
It wasnt God who made those blue neon angels
Ooh woo hoo hooh
I know hes waiting on the other side for me
Tequila mockingbird, flying underneath the neon moon
Tequila mockingbird, dreaming of a love that ended too soon
She sings the saddest song you ever heard
So bittersweet
Tequila mockingbird, tequila mockingbird
She sings ooh hoo, woo hoo hoo
She sings ooh hoo, woo hoo hoo ooh
song performed by by Pam Tillis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
quote by George Carlin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tequila Talking
I called about that conversation
That I had with you last night
It must have been a combination
Of shooters and neon lights
And I didnt really mean to say
Ive been losing it since you left
Yeah, I may have said the words
But they came from somewhere else
(chorus)
It was just the tequila talking
When I told you Im still not over you
I get a little sentimental
When Ive had one or two
And that tear in my eye was the salt and the lime
Not the memory of you walking
If I said Im still in love with you
It was just the tequila talking
I dont know what they put in cuervo
That got me to say those things
Usually I wouldnt care so much
Or make such a scene
But seeing you there in that dress you were wearing
Just drove me right out of my head
So dont hold me responible
For anything I might have said
(repeat chorus)
If I said Im still in love with you
It was just the tequila talking.
song performed by by Lonestar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Th Drink That You Hand Me
the drink that you hand to me
shall take my mouth
watering to your
lips,
the drink that you give me
shall take all of me
to you
the drink shall take another drink
and another drink
from you
and i shall not be quenched
until i am drunk
of all of you
and then you take me
all of me
and then i shall be lost
all of me
lovingly to you
my body dissolving like ice cubes
to your glass
your spirit in mine
our bodies mixing as one
and then we both shall be drunk
so gently
so lovingly as though this glass
owns the night
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Yes I Guess They Oughta Name A Drink After You
Oh I get drunk most every night
Seems like all we do is fight
The more I drink
The less I feel blue
Sometimes I feel like an awful fool
Spendin' my life on an old bar stool
And yes I guess they oughta name a drink after you
If this date were to be our last
I'd never sit down this glass
It'd take all the booze in the world
To forget you
You've left my heart a vacant lot
I'll fill it with another shot
And yes I guess they oughta name a drink after you
Looks like I had my fill
Guess I better pay my bill
When I started out I only meant to have a few
Someone just said that you left town
I better get a double round
And yes I guess they oughta name a drink after you
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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They Oughta Name A Drink After You
Oh I get drunk most every night
Seems like all we do is fight
The more I drink
The less I feel blue
Sometimes I feel like an awful fool
Spendin my life on an old bar stool
And yes I guess they oughta name a drink after you
If this date were to be our last
Id never sit down this glass
Itd take all the booze in the world
To forget you
Youve left my heart a vacant lot
Ill fill it with another shot
And yes I guess they oughta name a drink after you
Looks like I had my fill
Guess I better pay my bill
When I started out I only meant to have a few
Someone just said that you left town
I better get a double round
And yes I guess they oughta name a drink after you
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Another Good Reason
(harley allen/carson chamberlain)
I woke up the other night
Lying on the floor
Right beside someone
Ive never seen before
She said my names juliet
And romeo you aint
Thats another good reason not to drink
Thats another good reason not to drink
When Im sober Im almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
Ill end up like ole hank
Thats another good reason not to drink
I cant go see my best friend
He said stay away
Just because of what I said
On his wedding day
He oughta call a sherman
Cause she looks just like a tank
Thats another good reason not to drink
Thats another good reason not to drink
When Im sober Im almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
Ill end up like ole hank
Thats another good reason not to drink
Im gonna sue to city
About that policeman
Last night as I left the bar
He stepped right on my hand
He said are you drunk or blind?
I said let me think.
Thats another good reason not to drink
Thats another good reason not to drink
When Im sober Im almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
Ill end up like ole hank
Thats another good reason not to drink
Thats another good reason not to drink
When Im sober Im almost a saint
If I keep going on like this
Ill end up like ole hank
Thats another good reason
Baby let me in Im freezing
Another good reason not to drink
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Picasso's Last Words (Drink To Me)
The Grand Old Painter Died Last Night
His Paintings On The Wall
Before He Went He Bade Us Well
And Said Goodnight To Us All.
Drink To Me, Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
Drink To Me, Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
3 O'clock In The Morning
I'm Getting Ready For Bed
It Came Without A Warning
But I'll Be Waiting For You Baby
I'll Be Waiting For You There
So Drink To Me Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
Drink To Me Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
Jet... Drink To Me
Drink To Me... Ho Hey Ho
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Picassos Last Words
The grand old painter died last night
His paintings on the wall
Before he went he bade us well
And said goodnight to us all.
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
3 oclock in the morning
Im getting ready for bed
It came without a warning
But Ill be waiting for you baby
Ill be waiting for you there
So drink to me drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
Drink to me drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
French interlude
Temp change
Jet... drink to me
Drunken chorus
French (tempo) drink to me... ho hey ho
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Last Call
[all]
Last call for alcohol
The club is almost closed
(thats right)
So I need your name and your number
(yo, yo)
Before the night is through
[tash]
Yall wanna talk about drinking?
I took a drink, took a swallow
Left the champagne bottle hollow
Passed my keys to lil talo
Cant crash the el dorado
You know how it go
When you sipping on mo
You be tore up from the floor up
And you dont even know
[xzibit]
I had the bartender set up three shots
I knocked em back
Nitrate over the track
The whole crowd reacted
From right here through the ? ?
Baby relax youre rolling with me
Its mister a through x to the z
[sfp]
Going out with my friends
To celebrate the weekend
I hope the club is jumping
So I can find a little something
Wanna get my drink on
Wanna get my freak on
Im gonna try to come on
Before the night is over
1 ? [all]
Last call for alcohol
The club is almost closed
So I need your name and your number
Before the night is through
Last call for alcohol
The club is almost closed
So I need your name and your number
Before the night is through
[sfp]
Checkin for the sisters
Flossin the prada
Dolce gabana baby can I holla?
You know Im peepin atcha
Hoping I can catch ya
I wanna get atcha
Can we dance before the night is over?
Come on, oh
Repeat 1
[sfp]
This round is on me
Champagne and hennesy
I got chips just get whatchu like
Next round is on you
Tequila shots and brew
Im getting faded yo
Cause I didnt drive
[tash](xzibit)
Its last call yall so all yall
Its time to pull your money out
Come through, post up
Peepin all the honeys out
Smoke fest, guinness out
Got your homies passing out
(party down baby)
You know what x and ca-tash about
[xzibit]
Yo I stay with it
While you perpetrate and try to play with it
Something people with the all chrome
Custom fitted whatever you want
From the car straight to the bar
Were the la guns holding hennesy for everyone
Repeat 1 till end
song performed by by Xzibit
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Someone Like My Niece
at the party i chance to sit next to her
on a white covered sofa
we are so careful not to stain it
watching the food that we fork
the orange juice that we drink from a shiny glass
no drops please
her mother warns, she's is my sister
too concerned about her furniture
she likes her hair long and falling
like herself i suppose falling into a
certain despair, her mother, unable to
accept, she pretends she is more concerned
about the fate of her new rosewood
furniture
' i do not like myself' she whispers to
her glass half filled with tequila,
she sets aside the orange juice
too mild, she quips,
' i like to run away from her' she
insists, telling me that no one understands her here
that this house is full of indifferent people
i fix my gaze at the TV pretending i am not interested.
there is this soap opera about a mom who just lost
her son to a war somewhere in Jolo.
how can a mother's love be so misunderstood?
the mother knows how to pretend, and the daughter
drowns herself inside the bubbles of a glass wine
tequila, i am sure about that..
' i like the love story most. The brother takes his brother's girlfriend
and he punishes himself at the end. Tears and death.'
I am evading
her leading questions.
she's groggy. She leaves me and says she is sleepy. She goes to her
room and locks the door.
Then i tell myself, this world is fair. I am lucky not to have someone
like that niece. I am alone but not sad. Anyway,
the soap opera ends. Something new crops up tomorrow.
A twist of fate. But i will not watch anymore.I had enough.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Man on the Moon
when in the night i start to drink
i always look at him
he encouragingly grins
as if he understands my need
i ask him to join me but
he's stuck on the moon
and thus he's so sad
when in the night i need a drink
i always look up to him
then i drink and drink some more
and meet the dawn sprawled on the floor
he would have joined me but
he'd stuck on the moon
and thus he is sad
celestial gloom
for the man on the moon
i'm off pretty soon
to the man on the moon
poem by Max Kuvaev
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Morning Night And Day
One time didn't do it
Two times didn't feel quite right
I didn't know where i was going
I just knew that i would be alright
I woke up in a druken haze
The sun shone to my window?
I said that i'd never do it again
What kind of fool do you think i am?
It happens
It always seems to happen
Morning night and day
I just want some action
Give me satisfaction
Send me to my?
Morning night and day
I had a good time late last night
I didn't think it would ever end
I walked home in a broad day light
Couldn't get a cab at half past five
One drink wouldn't do it
Two drinks are far too much
I didn't know what i was doing
I ate the floor and a pile of dust
It happens
It always seems to happen
Morning night and day
I just want some action
Give me satisfaction
Send me to my?
Morning night and day
So if you think that it won't get you
Well think again friend 'cause it's not true
In my case, it was not my fault
Other people made that call
One time didn't do it
Two times didn't feel quite right
It happens
It always seems to happen
No matter what i say
Morning night and day
I just want some action
Need some satisfaction
Before it gets too late
Send me to my?
Morning night and day
song performed by by New Order
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pour Me Another Tequila Sheila
(Chorus)
Pour me another tequila, Sheila.
Take off that red satin dress.
'Cause I crossed the border,
And I beat the dealer for all of that gold in Juarez.
I feel like ol' Pancho Villa, Sheila,
And I've got the pesos to spend,
So pour me another tequila, Sheila.
And lay down and love me again.
No I can't tell you about it.
Don't mind the gun by my bed,
But I feel kind'a naked without it,
And it eases the fears in my head.
I never trusted in woman,
But Sheila I trust you tonight.
So pass me the salt and a lemon,
Bend down and blow out the light.
(Chorus)
Sheila I'm hearin' your heartbeat,
But I'm hearing footsteps outside.
The courtyard is crawlin' with them Federales
And Sheila, there's no place to hide,
but I don't know who could have tipped 'em,
nobody knew it but you,
but I never have trusted in woman,
Sheila, here's what I'm going to do.
(Chorus)
Yeah! Pour me another tequila,
I'm gonna put on your red satin Dress.
You put on my clothes, and you go face the dealer.
Sheila I wish you the best.
I never trusted in woman,
Sheila I trusted you tonight.
So pour me another tequila Sheila,
And I'll run for the border again.
Yeah! Pour me another tequila,
Sheila, as I ride for the border again.
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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