Fruitcakes

Fruitcakes
By: jimmy buffett, amy lee
1994
--spoken:
You know I was talking to my friend desdemona the other day she
Runs this space station and bake shop down near boomtown. she told
Me that human beings are flawed individuals. the cosmic bakers
Took us out of the oven a little too early. and thats the
Reason were as crazy as we are and I believe it.
Take for example when you go to the movies these days, you know.
They try to sell you this jumbo drink, 8 extra ounces of watered
Down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents. I dont want it.
I dont want that much organziation in my life.
I dont want other people thinking for me.
I want my junior mints. where did the junior mints go in the
Movies. I dont want a 12 lb. nestles crunch for 25 dollars. i
Want junior mints.
We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers!
We need people that care! Im mad as hell! and I dont want to
Take it anymore!
Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us
Paradise, lost and found
Paradise, take a look around
I was out in california where I hear they have it all
They got riots, fires, mud slides
Theyve got sushi in the mall
Water bars, brontasaurs, chinese modern lust
Shake and bake life with the quake
The secrets in the crust
Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us
--spoken:
Speakin of fruitcakes, how bout the government?
Your tax dollars at work.
We lost our martian rocket ship
The high paid spokesman said
Looks like that silly rocket ship
Has lost its cone shaped head
We spent 90 jillion dollars trying to get a look at mars
I hear universal laughter ringing out among the stars
Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the galaxy (fruitcakes in the galaxy)
Fuitcakes on the earth (fruitcakes on the earth)
Struttin naked towards eternity
Weve been that way since birth
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us
--spoken:
Religion! religion! oh, theres a thin line between saturday
Night and sunday morning. here we go now.
Alright, alter boys.
Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa
Wheres the church, who took the steeple
Religion is in the hands of some crazy-ass people
Television preachers with bad hair and dimples
The gods honest truth is its not that simple
Its the buddhist in you, its the pagan in me
Its the muslim in him, shes catholic aint she?
Its the born again look its the wasp and the jew
Tell me whats goin on, I aint gotta clue
--spoken:
Now here comes the big ones. relationships! we all got em, we
All want em. what do we do with em?
Here we go, Ill tell ya.
She said you gotta do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
I treat my body like a temple
You treat yours like a tent
But the right word at the right time
May get me a little hug
Thats the difference between lightning
And a harmless lightnin bug
Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us
--spoken:
The future. captains log, stardate two thousand and something.
Were seven years from the millenium
Thats a science fiction fact
Stanley kubrick and his buddy hal
Now dont look that abstract
So Ill put on my bob marley tape
And practice what I preach
Get jah lost in the reggae mon
As I walk along the beach
Stay in touch with my insanity really is the only way
Its a jungle out there kiddies
Have a very fruitful day
Hey.
Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen (fruitcakes in the kitchen)
Fruitcakes on the street (fruitcakes on the street)
Struttin naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week
Half-baked cookies in the oven (cookies in the oven)
Half-baked people on the bus (people on the bus)
Theres a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us
--spoken:
Thats right, you too. yeah those crumbs are spread all around
This universe. Ive seen fruitcakes. I saw this guy in santa
Monica rollerskate naked through the crosswalk. down in new
Orleans in the french market there are fruitcakes like you cannot
Believe. new york, forget it. fruitcake city. down island, weve got
Fruitcakes. spread them crumbs around. thats right, we want
em around. keep bakin baby. keep bakin.

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Misspoke

'Sir...
We clearly have you on videotape
Saying you baked those cookies.
When in actuality,
You did not.
If you are expected to be selected,
As our choice to lead...
We need immediate clarification.'

I must apologize.
On several occasions,
I now admit to saying...
~I baked those cookies.~
You see...
It was many years ago,
When I begged from door to door...
For a taste of homemade chocolate chip cookies,
I was made to feel inadequate.
Until one day...
Out of the blue,
I decided I could and would bake my own cookies!

'But sir...
These are 'not' your cookies.
You might have tasted these cookies.
However...
Your baking them is a false statement.'

Baked, ate...
Tasted!
What difference does it make?
I misspoke.
Can we move on?
There are other more important allegations to lie about.
And besides...
It's just an election.
What's the big deal?

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Christmas Cookies

Chorus:
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, sugar
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe
The ones that look like Santa Claus
Christmas trees, and bells, and stars
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe
Now Christmas cookies are a special treat
The more she bakes the more I eat
And sometimes I can't get myself to stop
Sometimes she'll wait till I'm asleep
And she'll take the ones I didn't eat
And put those little sprinkly things on top
Chorus:
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, sugar
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe
The ones that look like Santa Claus
Christmas trees, and bells, and stars
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe
Now those sprinkly things just makes things worse
Cause it makes them taste better than they did at first
And they're absolutely impossible to resist
Some disappear to who knows where
But I make sure I get my share
And those kids just stand there waiting for the ones I miss
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, sugar
Sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe
She gets mad that they're all gone
Before she gets the icing put on
Sure do like those Christmas cookies babe
Now there's a benefit to all of this
That you might have overlooked or missed
So now let me tell you the best part of it all
Every time she sticks another batch in the oven
There's 15 minutes for some kissin' and'a huggin'
That's why I eat Christmas cookies all year long!
Ah, Take it away boys
--- Instrumental ---
Chorus:
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, sugar
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe
The ones that look like Santa Claus
Christmas trees, and bells, and stars
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, babe...

song performed by by George StraitReport problemRelated quotes
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I don't exactly know what it means to be ready. A cake when the oven timer goes off? Am I fully baked, or only half-baked?

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Cup Of Tea

A cup of tea
A sudden pause
A polite social occasion with the 'best china'
A big white mug with workmans handle to grip
A cup of tea
Some slurp, some sip
A social class of darjeelings and Yorkshire tea
A cup of tea, a mug or flask
Divides the 'workers', from the 'upper class'
Drunk in the morning or precisely at three,
A cup of tea
The soloution when a problem comes,
Lets pause, while someone 'puts the kettle on! '
A cup of tea for every occasion
Marriage, births and deaths,
A cup of tea
A pure nirvana
A simple joy
Eternal happiness!
by angela fruitcakes marigold titsworthington tootsbee

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I use nothing but the best ingredients. My cookies are always baked fresh. I price cookies so that you cannot make them at home for any less. And I still give cookies away.

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A Ballad Of Refreshment

The lady stood at the station bar,
(Three currants in a bun)
And oh she was proud, as ladies are.
(And the bun was baked a week ago.)

For a weekly wage she was standing there,
(Three currants in a bun)
With a prominent bust and light gold hair.
(And the bun was baked a week ago.)

The express came in at half-past two,
(Three currants in a bun)
And there lighted a man in the navy blue.
(And the bun was baked a week ago.)

A stout sea-captain he was, I ween.
(Three currants in a bun)
Much travel had made him very keen.
(And the bun was baked a week ago.)

A sober man and steady was he.
(Three currants in a bun)
He called not for brandy, but called for tea.
(And the bun was baked a week ago.)

'Now something to eat, for the train is late.'
(Three currants in a bun)
She brought him a bun on a greasy plate.
(And the bun was baked a week ago.)

He left the bun, and he left the tea,
(Three currants in a bun)
She charged him a shilling and let him be,
And the train went on at a quarter to three.
(And the bun is old and weary.)

poem by Robert Fuller MurrayReport problemRelated quotes
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You Needn't Switch Your Cookies

You needn't switch your cookies.
To offer them to someone else...
With a giving to me of a preferred substitute.
Your cookies are good...
But they have not seduced.

I was the first to taste the flavor to savor them.
Now you believe the chocolate in your cookies,
You can addict somebody else with to lick...
As you sit back to enjoy the doing.
Who came to turn up the heat in your oven?

My sensitive tongue is unlike any other!
And this you will discover...
When you realize this and come to your senses.
Only I supplied the ingredients you used,
To make your cookies taste as good as they do.

You needn't switch your cookies on me,
To offer them to someone else.
The whipping done on these you give,
With the added spice has been overdone.
And not as good to my tongue as the other ones.

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Oh Those Cookies Made

You hooked me with your looks,
And also cooking, 'bay-bee'.
Your speciality is baking sugar cookies, 'bay-bee'.
And a tasting of your cookies,
Is my favorite crave...
I rush to get to savor.
Because the flavor makes them great...
I've lost my patience to wait.

Oh your cookies made,
Are the best I've ever savored.
Yes your cookies made.
Is a taste that can't get better.
Oh...
Those cookies made,
Are fun to munch in any weather.
Yes,
Those cookies made.
Your cookies made.

Oh...
Oh your cookies made,
Are the best I've ever savored.
Yes your cookies made.
Is a taste that can't get better.
Oh...
Oh those cookies made,
Are fun to munch in any weather.
Yes,
Those cookies made.
Your cookies made.

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Get Your Biscuits In The Oven & Your Buns In The Bed

(kinky friedman)
You uppity women I dont understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
Youd better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
Thats what I to my baby said,
Womens liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Early every morning youre out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your maiden form for lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.
Every single brakeman thats ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin him that hes wrong.
Eve said to adam, heres an apple you horse
And delilah defoliated samsons moss.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
Thats what I to my baby said,
Womens liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.
So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you cant love a male chauvinist
Youd better cross me off your shopping list.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
Thats what I to my baby said,
Womens liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

song performed by by Kinky FriedmanReport problemRelated quotes
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If hope could be a colour.

If hope could be a color
It would be baby blue
As blue as the sky

If hope could be a taste
It would be sweet lemonade

If hope could be a smell
It would be fresh baked cookies right out of the oven


If hope could be a sound
It would be the melody of everyday things


If hope could be a feeling
It would be an indescribable love


If hope could be an animal
It would be a baby bird.

poem by Sarina ParsakhianReport problemRelated quotes
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Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

(Kinky Friedman)
You uppity women I don't understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
You'd better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Early every morning you're out on the street
Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.
You gave up your Maiden Form for Lent
And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.
Every single brakeman that's ever come along
Had a little woman always tellin' him that he's wrong.
Eve said to Adam, ?Here's an apple you horse?
And Delilah defoliated Samson's moss.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.
Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws
Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,
Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean
And your coffee makes my hair turn green.
So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,
Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.
If you can't love a male chauvinist
You'd better cross me off your shopping list.
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

song performed by by Kinky FriedmanReport problemRelated quotes
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A Oven Liet

Where the flesh goes,
The mind follows.

The body is weak.
Why she left me alone.
How she got sick.
And no one calls the phone.

Never had to cook with her around
Now I found a light in the most unexpected place
The oven.

I sit in the dark tonight
In the kitchen
With only the oven light
While I try to mend.

And I brood like a chicken with her eggs
My seat feels like it's hatching
My bottom is burning
My soul squirming like a worm
Or a snake.

Yellow.
The color of companionship.
Cowardly, fearful, impertinent.
I stare into the oven

Light.

poem by Eon EzkielReport problemRelated quotes
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Stand Together(song)

Fresh out the oven
and baked like new
I do a wake and bake
for all of you
I become pleasant
and present
Aware of the peasant
who are always neglected
and some how uneffected
Able to live survive
Revive
No divide
Will reside
if we all just stand together

Alright...just stand together
(I will be on your side)
Just stand together
(I'll give you support)
Just stand together

Comin' fresh out of the oven
woke up to some lovin'
I declared my time to you
I was hoping that we grew
together not apart
It felt right from the start
Livin' in this crazy world
trying to get ahead
But everything always
seems dead
Shells that bleed
With the ability to move
and act
The streets are pact
Cause love is lost
cause we don't
stand together

Alright....Just stand together

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Based Upon Appearances And Not Technique

As if children fighting over crumbs left,
On plates once stacked with cookies...
No one can get near the kitchen to clean it.
Or restore the cleanliness of its presence.
Since an argument has ensued,
As to who should do what with a doing to do...
To recreate the flavor of the cookies once munched.
And who is best qualified to imitate the recipe.
Based upon appearances and not technique or skills.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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DIRTY CRAZY MONKEY SEX...by talile ali

DIRTY CRAZY MONKEY SEX

GRAB ME BY THE HAND
MAKE ME UNDERSTAND
HAD A MASTER PLAN
THE USE OF ALL OUR GLANDS

UP AND DOWN SHE GOES
OH HOW THE LADY KNOWS
WHAT TO STROKE AND WHAT TO BITE
THE LADY KNOWS JUST WHAT I LIKE

DIRTY CRAZY MONKEY SEX ME PLEASE
YOU GOT ME ON MY ACHING KNEES
YOU KNOW I WANT IT ALL THE TIME
THE WAY YOU DO ME, MAKE'S ME SHINE

PEEL MY ONION
WHILE YOU MAKE ME CREAM
A LIL BIT A ME
AND A WHOLE BUNCHA STEAM
I LIKE YOUR LOVIN ME
AFTER LUNCH
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE DOIN
ME A WHOLE BUNCH

LIKE DIRTY DANCIN
LIKE NAKED PRANCIN
AND THAT ALL
DAY ROMANCIN


NEED YOUR FUNKY LOVIN
DEEP INSIDE YOUR OVEN
NEED YOU NOW TO
BAKE MY LUSTS AWAY

I GOT THE RIGHT BREAD FOR YOUR OVEN
BAKED HARD WITH YOUR LOVIN
ENCUBATED BY YOUR NEED
TO PLEASE

WHILE MY LIPS ADDRESS YOUR BUST
I SIMPLY TURN TO DUST
IN THE ECSTACY OF
YOUR NEEDS

GET YOU NAKED IN MY BED
GRIND THEM LIPS AROUND MY HEAD
TILL YOUR HIPS ARE HARD AND FULL

READY FOR MY TAFFY PULL, BABY
LET MY GRIP COME ADDRESS YOUR WOOL, BABY

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Cork and Sip

Sausage.
Beef and sautéed.
With a bit of soy sauce.
Bedded with sliced onions...
And green pepper.
Wrapped in foil.
Tin,
I prefer.
Baked in a preheated oven,
At 350 degrees.
And left for at least one half hour.
Then served with garden grown tomatos.
Appetize yourself with this.
Remove the cork and sip...
On your White Zinfandel!

'OH...
How could I forget the dashing of brown sugar?
Do it...
If you dare new sensations! '

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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My Mom Is the Best Mom

She’s my first home
for nine months
and for my first nine years
she was always there for me
still treating me as her precious baby
feeding me rice and fish
beef, ham or anything deliciously prepared
and even a simple sunrise egg
was a gourmet

She’s the best chef
and I miss the moment
she would use her bare hands
shaping the food to anything
just to persuade us
to eat while we were playing
and just let us be kids for those moments.

Then sometimes I would just wait in the kitchen
as she baked cakes and cookies
while I was watching her
creating magic out from flour, sugar, eggs chocolates and any else
and my favorite from her is her home baked chiffon cake.

and during my first day in school
I was in panic
I felt not safe without her
and my first year in school
I couldn’t concentrate in the lessons
my mind was always thinking
of going home

and during middle school
She was my inspiration
just wanted my mom to be at the stage
to place my medal for excellence

I love my mom so much
She’s the best mother in the neighborhood
all mom’s in the neighborhood go to work
but my mom sacrifice her work for us
to show her love 24 hours a day.

My mom is the best mom
Hope I can be the best son too
: D

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If You Bake It

If you bake it...
So hard it is to then look for escapes.
To create.

If you bake it...
It is easier to face it than to fake.
What you have baked.

People know a flavor,
And the origin of scent...
If you bake it,
To create.

And if you bake it...
So hard it is to then look for escapes.
To create.

People know a flavor,
And the origin of scent...
If you bake it,
To create.

If you bake it...
It is easier to face it than to fake.
What you have baked.

If you bake it...
It doesn't make a difference if you're naked.
You can't even fake it,
If you're naked.

And if you baked it...
It doesn't make a difference if you're naked.
You can't even fake it,
If you're naked.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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1 In The Morning

[LL Cool J]
It's one in the mornin - you know what time it is!
It's one in the mornin
It's one in the mornin - you gonna have come out your clothes on this one
It's one in the mornin
Yeah I'm still at it, the microphone addict
You get your dome splattered, cause homey will not have it
Your ashes get scattered across the Atlantic
For actin like you a teenage chick with her bra padded
You might laugh at it, but if you do the knowledge
It's really a tad tragic how they runnin through they cabbage
You know my track record, L battle like a savage
I think and grow rich, that gives me the advantage
Uncle LL, I got product for sale
So I can bail Al Sharpton out of jail
Somebody gotta do it, somebody in the black community
gotta get this money while y'all march for unity
So march on, I'ma get my Bentley park on
Then get my dogs a platform to bark on
The realest brother, you Nicole Kidman, one of 'The Others'
Children shiverin under the covers
The man in black, the tilted Fedora hat
I'm bringin it raw, you never want your money back
I'm focused baby, livin like a quarterback
Playin in the wishbone, L keep options black
Systematically, burn you like calories
Watch your mouth, go earn your lil' salary
I'm a classic like Nike Airs and Wallabees
You could catch it like the flu, homey follow me
[Chorus]
It's one in the mornin - flash the dough
It's one in the mornin - crack the Mo'
It's one in the mornin - get on the flo'
It's one in the mornin - who wanna go?
[LL Cool J]
That's right Sleeping Beauty, wake up see the light
That Tylenol PM got you caught for your BM
Everybody can see I'm the king of rippin coliseums
C'mon, youse a male groupie beggin for per diem
A fruitcake laid out in the masoleum
I'm the richest man in Babylon, nobody could see him
Money's my slave, it do what I say
It cry for me, like Denzel in "Glory"
But I broke the cycle, no more poverty
I wonder if you hatin on the low - probably!
But cats know I'm real, I keep 'em on they heels
Damn! Look at my body, coulda been a Navy Seal
But you lack the discipline to do what I do
Reinvention, I'm in the 11th dimension
I'm a value stock pop, get it while it's hot
Cause once I blow, I'ma split and that's it
[Chorus]
It's one in the mornin - flash the dough
It's one in the mornin - crack the Mo'
It's one in the mornin - get on the flo'
It's one in the mornin - who wanna go?
[Chorus]
It's one in the mornin - flash the dough
It's one in the mornin - crack the Mo'
It's one in the mornin - get on the flo'
It's one in the mornin - who wanna go?
[LL Cool J]
Aiyyo E it's one o'clock
Time to get one and bounce baby
It's time to get one and bounce, you know what time it is
Your honor, last week he punched me in my face
I want twenty million, you know he liftin weights
Last week, me and the President was takin flicks
Last week, my video dropped and you was sick
Last week, I copped my lil' shorty some kicks
that cost 29 hundred, homey you don't want it
My ears stay flooded like your man stay blunted
My American Express is Black, I'm at the Summit
The Benjamin Grier of Def Jam, y'all know
My po'tfolio was sicker than polio
For real God is good, he took me out the hood
Got me livin in a mansion like a big boy should
And I never do Cribs, I ain't gonna have y'all fruitcakes
knowin how I live, bed extra big
You sit around, run your mouth, POTbelly on the couch
Claimin you hot but honey what you wove out
When she alone, pump L, I make her bounce
You on the corner riskin your life to sell a ounce
Wish you was Pablo, lay in the carbo
With a chick named Margo who flew from Chicago
But no, in real life cats catch it
It's not what you expected huh? Life kinda hectic huh?
[Chorus]
It's one in the mornin - flash the dough
It's one in the mornin - crack the Mo'
It's one in the mornin - get on the flo'
It's one in the mornin - who wanna go?
[Chorus]
It's one in the mornin - flash the dough
It's one in the mornin - crack the Mo'
It's one in the mornin - get on the flo'
It's one in the mornin - who wanna go?
[LL Cool J]
Yeah yeah
It's the definition
Definition
Definition potna, eleven in a row!

song performed by by LL Cool JReport problemRelated quotes
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Dead End Street

Theres a crack up in the ceiling,
And the kitchen sink is leaking.
Out of work and got no money,
A sunday joint of bread and honey.
What are we living for?
Two-roomed apartment on the second floor.
No money coming in,
The rent collectors knocking, trying to get in.
We are strictly second class,
We dont understand,
(dead end!)
Why we should be on dead end street.
(dead end!)
People are living on dead end street.
(dead end!)
Gonna die on dead end street.
Dead end street (yeah)
Dead end street (yeah)
On a cold and frosty morning,
Wipe my eyes and stop me yawning.
And my feet are nearly frozen,
Boil the tea and put some toast on.
What are we living for?
Two-roomed apartment on the second floor.
No chance to emigrate,
Im deep in debt and now its much too late.
We both want to work so hard,
We cant get the chance,
(dead end!)
People live on dead end street.
(dead end!)
People are dying on dead end street.
(dead end!)
Gonna die on dead end street.
Dead end street (yeah)
Dead end street (yeah)
(dead end!)
People live on dead end street.
(dead end!)
People are dying on dead end street.
(dead end!)
Gonna die on dead end street.
Dead end street (yeah)
Dead end street (yeah)
Dead end street (yeah)
Head to my feet (yeah)
Dead end street (yeah)
Dead end street (yeah)
Dead end street (yeah)
Hows it feel? (yeah)
Hows it feel? (yeah)
Dead end street (yeah)
Dead end street (yeah)

song performed by by KinksReport problemRelated quotes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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