The Hostess With The Mostes' On The Ball
I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land
Nothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sand
One day father started digging in a field
Hoping to find some soil
He dug and he dug and what do you think?
Oil, oil, oil
The money rolled in and I rolled out with a fortune piled so high
Washington was my destination
And now who am I?
I'm the chosen party giver
For the White House clientele
And they know that I deliver
What it takes to make 'em jell
And in Washington I'm known by one and all
As the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
They could go to Elsa Maxwell
When they had an axe to grind
They could always grind their axe well
At the parties she designed
Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call
On the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
I've a great big bar and good caviar
Yes, the best that can be found
And a large amount in my bank account
When election time comes 'round
If you're feeling presidential
You can make it, yes, indeed
There are just three things essential
Let me tell you all you need
Is an ounce of wisdom and a pound of gall
And the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
An Ambassador has just reached the shore
He's a man of many loves
An important gent from the Orient
To be handled with kid gloves
He can come and let his hair down
Have the best time of his life
Even bring his new affair down
Introduce her as his wife
But she mustn't leave her panties in the hall
For the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
[Encore:]
I've been highly complimented
And I thank you what is more
You'll be damned well represented
By your new ambassador
For my one ambition is to make them fall
For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
In the handbag that I'll carry
There's a precious little note
To their highnesses from Harry
Introducing me he wrote:
"I'll appreciate a favor large or small
For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball"
There'll be no mistakes, I've got what it takes
To make friends across the sea
I'll make being smart an important part
Of my foreign policy
I'll cement our good relations
When I give my first affair
There'll be special invitations
To the Duke and Duchess there
Who's already written asking them to call
Not the priestess with the leastes'
But the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
song performed by by Irving Berlin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
One Meat Ball
(l. singer-h.zaret)
The little man walked up and down
To find an eating place in town
He read the menu through and through
To see what fifteen cents could do
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
He told the waiter near at hand
A simple dinner he had planned
The guests were startled one and all to hear
That waiter loudly call
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, this here gent wants one meat ball
Little man felt very bad
One meat ball was all he had
And in his dreams he hears that call
Ya gets no bread with one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, you get no bread with one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
All he could afford was one meat ball
One meat ball
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Havin A Ball
Written by james young, john curulewski
Lead vocals by james young
Yeah
Now tell me girl
Wont you tell me true
Help me get this out of my head
Now fenny thinks that there aint no stoppin
Until you got me flat on my back
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
Now theres things that I agree with
And things that I really dont
If you think Im free to try something crazy
There aint nothing round that I wont
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
Yeah
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Now if you want to spend some time with me
If youve got some time to kill
Tell more or else Ill leave this place
Know a couple of a ladies that will
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
Yeah
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
Just havin a ball
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
You know my number
Just give me a call
You know what Im thinking
Were just havin a ball
song performed by by Styx
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Appreciation
MY muvver's ist the nicest one
'At ever lived wiz folks;
She lets you have ze mostes' fun,
An' laffs at all your jokes.
I got a ol' maid auntie, too,
The worst you ever saw;
Her eyes ist bore you through and through, —
She ain't a bit like ma.
She's ist as slim as slim can be,
An' when you want to slide
Down on ze balusters, w'y she
Says 'at she's harrified.
She ain't as nice as Uncle Ben,
What says 'at little boys
Won't never grow to be big men
Unless they're fond of noise.
But muvver's nicer zan 'em all,
She calls you, 'precious lamb,'
An' let's you roll your ten-pin ball,
An' spreads your bread wiz jam.
An' when you're bad, she ist looks sad,
You fink she's goin' to cry;
An' when she don't you're awful glad,
An' den you're good, Oh, my!
At night, she takes ze softest hand,
An' lays it on your head,
An' says 'Be off to Sleepy-Land
By way o' trundle-bed.'
So when you fink what muvver knows
An' aunts an' uncle tan't,
It skeers a feller; ist suppose
His muvver 'd been a aunt.
poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lets Have A Ball
(bunn)
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I may never get a break like this in life no more
Well, I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I may never get a break like this in life no more
Got money in my pocket
I aint begging for bread
Cadillac el dorado
Well, its gone to my head
I got a short time living and a long greasy time to pay (play) dead
Aint doing no favours, aint asking for none
Honey, I got money, I can pay for my fun
Thats the way I want it, thats the way it must be done
[because]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
I may never get a break like this in life no more
A certain little mama [you ? ? ? ? for me]
Gonna jump and shout [oh, yeah]
When the el dorado rolls up [ ah]
And Ill come walking out [? ? ? ]
Gonna tell ya pretty baby [say you like nothing]
You dont know what its all about
(Ive got) no special woman [no special woman]
Want no special friend [no special friend]
Want a good time today [good time today]
Tomorrow may be down again [may be down again]
Dont dial my number [oh, lord]
Ill tell you when [Ill tell you when]
I wanna ball like I never did ball before [before, before, before]
Really wanna...never did ball before [before, before, before]
I may never get a break like this in life no more
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ball & Chain
I've been on this roller coaster just too many times
And always it seems like
The blind keep on leading the blind
Tried to get them on the 'phone
Tried to find my way back home
Tned and failed, and tried and failed, again
But baby i don't want you 'cos you look so good
I don't want you 'cos i know i should
I don't want you to come in f rom the rain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Ah just lately i've been roaming from town to town
I've been setting them up, setting them up
And i've been knocking them down
I was born to live, it seems, a fugitive dream
Make things always better than they seem
And i stop and start, and stop and start
And stop and start again
Baby i don't want you for your money
I don't want you 'cos i love you honey
I don't want you to ease this memory pain
No, i want you to be my ball and chain
Yes, i want you to be my, be my ball and chain
When i see you in the garden once again
Baby you'll be standing in the summer rain
Laugh and cry and say what it's all about
You can even jump and shout
And you'll smile and say how are you again
I don't want you 'cos i'm so blue
I don't want you 'cos you know what to do
I don't want you because all my love seems in vain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
Be my ball and chain, be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
I want you.....ball and chain, etc.
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm acting when I serve as a hostess, when I run my wig business. I was born to act, and life itself is the greatest part.
The Ball
What it ain't y'all?
Welcome 2 the Crystal Ball
Got any notion about the way things are? Give 'em up!
Come on y'all
(Ball) {repeats in BG}
Ooh wee! (Party!)
(Get up, come on)
All pound on the 2 y'all
Shake the weakest peach (Get off and party y'all)
If U got a weak heart, split now
We got 2 be funky
Everybody, say it
This is your Crystal Ball (Get up and party) (Yeah)
One time, say it (Ball)
(Come on, get up and get down, yeah)
Check it out if U want 2
Listen 2 a brand new sound
Peachy beat and harmony
Shake your body down
No time 4 attitudes
No, we don't wanna fight
All I wanna do is get yo' peachy stuff
And have some fun 2night ... people!
(Ball) {repeats in BG}
Ouch! (Come on) Come on, Ball
(Party) (Come on) Yeah
(Get down) Come on, come on, yeah (Ball)
Jam in the 3 y'all
Ain't no couples allowed
Unless U wanna do it right mama
And get married like a bull and cow
No time 4 attitudes (No time)
I said we don't wanna fight
All I wanna do is get pumped mama
And have some fun 2night ... people!
Ball, it's a party
Everybody get loose
Ball, shake your body
Just like a goose... goosey
(Ball) (Ball) Everybody
(Ball) (Ball) Ooh aah
Oooh wee!
Say it y'all, come on (Oooh wee!)
(Yeah, come on, get up)
(Join the party, get up, get up, yeah)
What it ain't y'all?
Welcome 2 the Crystal Ball
U got any notions about the way things are?
Give'em up and come on y'all... oh!
Any peaches in the house?
Sing with me y'all, come on
Whoa!
2 funky, say it again
Whoa!
Yeah ooh
Woo!
This is your Crystal Ball
All 4 fun, fun 4 all
Ow! Ow!
Crystal Ball
Alright, everybody on the one y'all
I want U 2 say "Ball"
(Ball) {repeat in BG}
Say it like U mean it, come on, say it
Woo, yeah
Say it y'all, come on
Baby?
Baby, do U wanna? Yes
This is your Crystal Ball
All 4 fun and fun 4 all, woo!
Keep singing y'all {x2}
Come on
What U wanna do? {x2}
Woo! Yes
Oh! Don't try and stop me!
Hit me girl!
Welcome 2 the Crystal Ball!
{crowd noise segues into "Joy In Repetition
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Where the hostess is handsome the wine is good.
High Ball Shooter
Well Im a rock and roll preacher
Not a sunday school teacher
You aint no shady lady
But I love the way you strut your stuff
Youre a snow queen looking mean
Tryin to make it on the scene
I guess you love it
cause I always see you hanging around
Youre a high ball shooter
You make it easy to see
High ball shooter
You sure ripped the low ones off me
A magnet brought you to me
Told me your name was jo
You said you liked my music
And you really did enjoy the show
Now I wanna play piano
But my fingers dont agree
Theyre busy on you woman
And I feel your fingers workin on me
Youre a high ball shooter
You make it easy to see
High ball shooter
You sure ripped the low ones off me
Its time to leave you honey
I know youre feeling sad
Dont you cry now baby
You know that only makes me mad
I see you everywhere I go
Every town and place
I cant recall your name
But I know I wont forget your sweet face
Youre a high ball shooter
You make it easy to see
High ball shooter
You sure ripped the low ones off me
cause youre a high ball shooter
You make it easy to see
High ball shooter
You sure ripped the low ones off me
song performed by by Deep Purple
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ball Chain
Ive been on this roller coaster just too many times
And always it seems like
The blind keep on leading the blind
Tried to get them on the phone
Tried to find my way back home
Tned and failed, and tried and failed, again
But baby I dont want you cos you look so good
I dont want you cos I know I should
I dont want you to come in f rom the rain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Ah just lately Ive been roaming from town to town
Ive been setting them up, setting them up
And Ive been knocking them down
I was born to live, it seems, a fugitive dream
Make things always better than they seem
And I stop and start, and stop and start
And stop and start again
Baby I dont want you for your money
I dont want you cos I love you honey
I dont want you to ease this memory pain
No, I want you to be my ball and chain
Yes, I want you to be my, be my ball and chain
When I see you in the garden once again
Baby youll be standing in the summer rain
Laugh and cry and say what its all about
You can even jump and shout
And youll smile and say how are you again
I dont want you cos Im so blue
I dont want you cos you know what to do
I dont want you because all my love seems in vain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
I want you to be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
Be my ball and chain, be my ball and chain
Oh, be my ball and chain
I want you.....ball and chain, etc.
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Them Heavy People
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
They arrived at an inconvenient time.
I was hiding in a room in my mind.
They made me look at myself. I saw it well.
Id shut the people out of my life.
So now I take the opportunities:
Wonderful teachers ready to teach me.
I must work on my mind. for now I realise:
Everyone of us has a heaven inside.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Them heavy people help me.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
They open doorways that I thought were shut for good.
They read me gurdjieff and jesu.
They build up my body, break me emotionally.
Its nearly killing me, but what a lovely feeling!
I love the whirling of the dervishes.
I love the beauty of rare innocence.
You dont need no crystal ball,
Dont fall for a magic wand.
We humans got it all, we perform the miracles.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Them heavy people help me.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball...
song performed by by Kate Bush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Cricket Ball
A ball spends its time with Time,
Spilling agony, waste and collisions so rightly found;
By this we spoke too loudly of the ball I’m
Spinning like in cricket, and all this sound!
The field caught my ball this over,
Expensive play! Expensive day of my sport.
There needs a container
For this cricket ball, my real important sort.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Where the hostess is beautiful the wine is tasty.
The fairer the hostess the fouler the reckoning.
The fairer the hostess, the heavier the reckoning.
Analysis Of Baseball
It’s about
the ball,
the bat,
and the mitt.
Ball hits
bat, or it
hits mitt.
Bat doesn’t
hit ball, bat
meets it.
Ball bounces
off bat, flies
air, or thuds
ground (dud)
or it
fits mitt.
Bat waits
for ball
to mate.
Ball hates
to take bat’s
bait. Ball
flirts, bat’s
late, don’t
keep the date.
Ball goes in
(thwack) to mitt,
and goes out
(thwack) back
to mitt.
Ball fits
mitt, but
not all
the time.
Sometimes
ball gets hit
(pow) when bat
meets it,
and sails
to a place
where mitt
has to quit
in disgrace.
That’s about
the bases
loaded,
about 40,000
fans exploded.
It’s about
the ball,
the bat,
the mitt,
the bases
and the fans.
It’s done
on a diamond,
and for fun.
It’s about
home, and it’s
about run.
poem by May Swenson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Vicars, MPS and lawyers were amont those who considered me to be the best hostess in London.
quote by Cynthia Payne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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After The Ball/million Miles
After the ball, after the ball, you were the one out in the hall
You were the one, the one who would love me, after the ball.
After the ball, after the ball, you were the one out in the hall
You were the one, the one who would love me, after the ball.
Well, I arrived, looked around but the room was full of strangers
Nowhere was a freindly face to be found.
Later on, I awoke, but the party it was over
There you were waiting to bring me round.
How many million miles, day-oh?
How many million miles, day-oh?
When I get up, up, up in the morning, whoa! lord I know.
When I look up, up, up in the morning, whoa! lord I know.
How many million miles, day-oh?
How many million miles, day-oh?
How many million miles, day-oh?
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Crystal Ball
Written by tommy shaw
Lead vocals by tommy shaw
I used to like to walk the straight and narrow line
I used to think that everything was fine
Sometimes Id like to sit and gaze for days through sleepless dreams
All alone and trapped in time
All alone and trapped in time
I wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me
Or am I even in its mind at all
Perhaps Ill get a chance to look ahead and see
Soon as I find myself a crystal ball
Soon as I find myself a crystal ball
Tell me, tell me where Im going
I dont know where Ive been
Tell me, tell me, wont you tell me
And then tell me again
My heart is breaking, my bodys aching
And I dont know where to go
Tell me, tell me, wont you tell me
Ive just got to know
Crystal ball
Theres so many things I need to know
Crystal ball
Theres so many things Ive got to know
Crystal ball
[extra verse used occasionally live]
If you should see me walking
Through your dreams at night
Would you please direct me
Where I ought to be
Ive been looking for a crystal ball
To shed the light
To find a future in me...
To find a future in me...
Crystal ball
Theres so many things I need to know
Crystal ball
Theres so many things Ive got to know
Crystal ball
song performed by by Styx
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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