The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
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Average Guy
I aint no christian or no born again saint
I aint no cowboy or marxist d.a.
I aint no criminal or reverend cripple from the right
I am just your average guy, trying to do whats right
Im just your average guy
An average guy
I am just your average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy, Im just your average guy
Im average looking and Im average inside
Im an average lover and I live in an average place
You wouldnt know me if you met me face to face
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
I worry about money and taxes and such
I worry that my livers big and it hurts to the touch
I worry about my health and bowels
And the crime waves in the street
Im really just your average guy
Trying to stand on his own two feet
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average looks, average taste
Average height, an average waist
Average in everything I do
My temperature is 98.2
Im just your average guy
An average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Well-Adjusted- Don't Be-Brain-Stuffing
To be well adjusted
can be a terrible thing
for where am I to dream
what does not yet exist
if I am only focused
upon what currently is?
And where in this
is to come to be
Creativity?
It can be a terrible thing
to be adjusted
because the mind
becomes hard-wired
to only what we
have personally experienced-
when I am out to discover
what is different from me?
No small thing this:
sailors die on the open sea
because their hard-wired minds
think that they need to find land
for fresh-water
making them forget
that they can catch fish
and drink.
Adjusted means
thinking like all the others think
knowing they will punish those
who dare to utter something
different from the orthodoxy.
Takes a strong mind
and character
to really think
differently
from what the others
keep
saying you
should think.
Protect that brain:
don't let the others
fill it in
for you,
find your own stuffing
to put in there
after all
you have to
all your life
live with it.
So open up
the Brain-Door
spend at least
five hours
a day
day-dreaming
that is how the Brain
wards off
Brain-Stuffing.
This what Einstein did-
five hours a day
you can see
how good
he did.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
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The average adult laughs 15 times a day; the average child, more than 400 times.
quote by Martha Beck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It was a perfectly average well- adjusted childhood, not a bit unlike that of millions of other individuals.
quote by DeForest Kelley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cold
Mary gets up at six in the morning
she runs herself a bath while she's brushing her teeth
six thirty she's styled and dressed
in the kind of rag she layed out before she went to sleep
noone's there but a cup full of coffee
bored she stares at the morning news
she's feeling cold
feeling cold
she's feeling cold
Mary's feeling cold
Mary files the papers for the boss
of Smith
song performed by by H-BlockX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What results?
A password I will never lose
Nice messages
And funny poems
Stories, too
Gifts to treasure
Love to remember
Maybe even friendship to last forever
Oh yes, my first adult kiss
To open my chrysalis
But will I be a pretty butterfly-she?
And all this at the age of thirty!
Life is oh so funny
Hihihihi
What else does it have in store for me?
I am eager to wait and see
Patiently
At the age of thirty
A bud
And I still gather may
My prime
As I am a female
Comes with the age of thirty
Baby vs Adult
Baby is dumb
Adult has wisdom
Babies are small and crawl
Adults are tall and fall
Baby demands
Adult commands
Baby yearns to walk
Adult learns to work
Baby weeps
Adult sleeps
You carry a baby
You marry an adult
Baby chokes
Adult smokes
Baby stays at home to play
Adult brings home the pay
Baby cries
Adult sighs
Baby spikes milk
Adults like silk
And I saved this for the last
Baby at birth
Adult at death
Baby vs Adult becomes a thing of the past
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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Accurate statistics
‘Sir, there are two coaches to Agra.
Which would you prefer? ’
‘The one where the average age is less.’
‘Granted, the one where it is thirty,
The other being forty.’
The journey began to the dismay of
The lad who found himself among
Kids and their grandparents,
Whose average age is twenty
Whereas the other coach consisted of
Teenagers and their mothers.
How misleading the statistics is!
07.03.2003
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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I've always said when I broke in I was an average player. I had an average arm, average speed and definitely an average bat. I am still average in all of those.
quote by Brooks Robinson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Visions
I finally figured out why I'm always on guard when you're around
I'm feeling so uncertain bout do you really want me or what I got?
I really hope it's not
But I wonder why if I ain't taking you out somewhere nice
You ain't even tryna come on by and just say hi.
We can stay in the house for a quiet night tonight
I'm tryna tryna tyna tryna...Tryna let you know baby
But I can't make it that easy
A girl gotta have a little game too
You should know that it's all about you
I'm having visions of this girl like a warning
I'm waking up like six in the morning
Feeling like it really ain't healthy
Do she wanna be with me? I need to know
Visions of this girl like a warning
I'm waking up like six in the morning
Feeling like it really ain't healthy
Do she wanna be with me?
Think I'm sweating now, just trynafigure if you're the one
Wish you'd give me a clue about what you're about
Let's have it out, I'm going down
Hope you think of me, and if you really don't then let it be
Cuz I can't be nobody's charity
It's real love for me, entirely and completely
I need to know...
Having visions of this girl and
Ooohhh
Could this be my warning?
Ooohhh
Having visions of this girl and
I don't know
If maybe this is my warning, warning, warning, warning.
song performed by by Jagged Edge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Morning Rain
Written by christine mcvie.
Clear as the morning rain
Seeing it very plain
Weve got to start again
Whats that you do
Whats that you say
Theres no use complaining
Its the only way
Theres no use feeling dissatisfied
Cause how can you know until youve tried
Clear as the morning rain
Seeing it very plain
Weve got to start again
Everthings going around in my head
The futures new and the past is dead
Pull out the stops, turn on the light
Cause away from the darkness everything seems bright
Clear as the morning rain
Seeing it very plain
Weve got to start again
Do do do do do
Do do do do do do do
Do do do do do
Do do do do do do do
Do do do do do
Do do do do do do do
Do do do do do
Do do do do do do do...
song performed by by Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Screw Driver
Tuesday morning now
I gotta have somewhere to go
I call up tommy now
I call him on the telephone
Won't you wake up and come with me now
I'm going to the pawn and loan
Walking down thirty three
Walking on thirty o
Well what am i supposed to think
I drop a nickel in the sink
I love people like a brother now
But i'm not gonna be their mother now
What if someone walked up to me
And like an apple cut right through me
im not just gonna stand there grinnin
cause I'm not the one who's sinnin
Screwdriver
Now that you have heard my story now
I've got a little ending to it now
Whenever you go out alone
Take a little dog a bone
Think about your little sister
Then you got to drive it home
With a screwdriver
I got a little feeling goin' now
I got a little feeling goin' now
song performed by by White Stripes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A fairly bright boy is far more intelligent and far better company than the average adult.
quote by John B. S. Haldane
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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First Love (Love Poem)
Do you remember when she first held your hand?
Thirty seconds that seemed like thirty minutes,
The first kiss thrills with a scrambled egg feeling,
You simultaneously slightly drunk and flying high.
Never forgotten, never repeated, frozen instants,
The forever moment, now forever lost in time,
Unless she said yes and that faint reminder,
Of your first love, is a morning coffee smile.
poem by Ian Beckett
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To Mrs. Thrale on Her Completing Her Thirty-fifth Year
Oft in danger, yet alive,
We are come to thirty-five;
Long may better years arrive,
Better years than thirty-five.
Could philosophers contrive
Life to stop at thirty-five,
Time his hours should never drive
O'er the bounds of thirty-five
High to soar, and deep to dive,
Nature gives at thirty-five.
Ladies, stop and tend your hive,
Trifle not at thirty-five;
For, howe'er we boast and strive,
Life declines from thirty-five:
He that ever hopes to thrive
Must begin by thirty-five:
And all who wisely wish to wive
Must look on Thrale at thirty-five.
poem by Samuel Johnson
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What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Must Work To Make Ends Meet
Have you ever felt so tired as you struggle out of bed
And switch off the alarm clock with a throbbing in your head
At five thirty in the morning as dawn's lamp brighten the sky
And the fluting of the butcherbird to you is not a thing of joy.
And your wife she is still sleeping on the bed snoring she lay
You must make your own breakfast at five thirty a m of the new day
And as you leave for work at six thirty the children are asleep
But to work to keep your wife and family is a duty you must keep.
Your boss drives a new Mercedes which he need not share with his wife
He's just bought her a new B M W such are the ways of life
You work so hard for that man for what would seem as average pay
And you must drive in your old mid eighties Datsun to and from the work yard every day.
And when you ask your boss for a raise to you he always say
More young men come to me almost begging for a job start every day
You can forget a raise in wages and if you decide to quit that is okay
I won't even ask you for to stay on if working for me you don't wish to stay.
You do not like the man you work for he does not pay you nearly enough
Though you have just got to hang in there even though the going is tough
But you must work just to make ends meet you have got big bills to pay
And you drive your old eighties Datsun to and from the work yard every day.
poem by Francis Duggan
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The Ballade Of The Average Reader
I try to touch the public taste,
For thus I earn my daily bread.
I try to write what folks will paste
In scrap books after I am dead.
By Public Craving I am led.
(I' sooth, a most despotic leader)
Yet, though I write for Tom and Ned,
I've never seen an average reader.
The Editor is good and chaste,
But says: (Above the public's head;
This is _too_ good; 'twill go to waste.
Write something commonplacer-
Ed.)
Write for the average reader, fed
By pre-digested near-food's feeder,
But though my high ideals have fled,
I've never _seen_ an average reader.
How many lines have been erased!
How many fancies have been shed!
How many failures might be traced
To this-this average-reader dread!
I've seen an average single bed;
I've seen an average garden-weeder;
I've seen an average cotton thread-
I've _never_ seen an average _reader_.
L'ENVOI
Most read of readers, if you've read
The works of any old succeeder,
You know that he, too, must have said:
'I've never seen an Average Reader.'
poem by Franklin P. Adams
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Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.
quote by C.S. Lewis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love is staying up all night with a sick child - or a healthy adult.
quote by David Frost
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