Thoughts No. 2

Sometimes i feel
I live like a prisoner
But i don't know
If this really is pressure
Surprise you win
I'm lost as screamers roll in
Sometimes i feel
Like leaving this room i'm in
Faded film people dropping words
About the real things to say
? (not "someone pulls me deeper", as in cd booklet)
And tells me who i will be if i stay
A clever machine writes pretty words
For pretty boys
To sing to us all
We're all so grateful
My face you cry
And i show my darker side
The night is yours
And i just switch off and hide
Cafe and sin
The wine's not to my liking
My face you cry
Oh my didn't i say come in?
Frown (?) in my eyes showing nothing
But surprise about you
And what are you thinking
About my life and her drinking to you too
A dying non-human writes unkind words
For unkind friends
And as for the tears, they'll never show
Asylum people calling on my door
From day to day
The image must fall
I've had my time

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Psycho

I told you time and time again
that we would meet just as friends
and now i just can't seem to get my story through
if i'd known all about this then
i wouldn't have said the things I said
im left now with a problem
what to do
cuz i can't seem to tell her
exactly the way i feel
i can't seem to find the words to show what i know is real
and if she calls me on the phone
wont you tell her im not home
just say ive gone so very far away
if she asks when ill return
tell her that you have not learned
and that i might have plans to stay
cuz i can't seem to tell her
exactly the way i feel i
can't seem to find the words to show what i know is real
i can't seem to tell her
exactly the way i feel
i can't seem to find the words to show what i know is real
here she comes again
this time surrounded by her friends
do i pretend that i dont see her or say hi
she asks me if im free
i said i would if it was up to me
and pray she sees the truth behind my lie
cuz i can't seem to tell her
exactly the way i feel
i can't seem to find the words to show what i know is real
i can't seem to tell her
exactly the way i feel
i can't seem to find the words to show what i know is real

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Pretty Girls Aint Smart.

Cat calls and whistle.
The only thing I hear
As I walk down the street.

Girls telling me he only likes me,
Because of the size of my chest.
And my pretty face.

They say it just to be mean,
But there words cut deep.
Deeper then the cuts on my wrists.

People are amazed when I talk.
Because they see my face,
And cant believe I’m smart.

There stereotypes hurt.
They hurt more then the bruises
That I inflict upon myself.

We live in a world where pretty girls
Can never be smart
And men abuse with eyes and words.

I feel I stand alone,
In my fight for equality
And alone I fall.

I have admitted my defeat.
And I live a life of idiotic stupidity.
Only for the enjoyment of many.

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Must

She writes as if there’s not much time.
She writes to pain, to happiness,
She writes to every remote detailed thought.
She writes to the departed,
to the extant,
to poverty,
to wealth.
She writes to mourn, and grief.
She writes to the wind, the rain,
forest, the desert, and mountains.
She writes to her pouring tears,
to her grateful moments,
She writes because really what she has is time.
She has no little ones to feed, or bathe,
nor a husband to make happy. To write is
to escape- to her. Time is not a problem, time
is just a killing system, she needs to kill in many words.
She writes as if there’s not much time.

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Pretty Boys

Pretty boys - on my tv screen
Teeth so white and hair so clean
Pretty boys - sing and play guitars
Pretty boys get to be big stars
How do you rate my sex appeal from one to ten
Is my image just a bit confusing
Maybe I should get a facelift, start again
Maybe I should trade my pointed shoes in
cause talent dont count
For pretty boys
Those promo people got a lot to answer for
You can take your face and see just where it fits
Be a pretty pawn in someone elses war
Your baby blue eyes - somebody elses wits
Equals success
For pretty boys
I wanna see a human being on my tv set
Want some action for the fat and thin man
Theyre getting closer but they aint got robots yet
Just a hero with a smile like a tin man
No brains and no heart
Just pretty boys

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Do You Feel Like I Feel?

I dont know how you do what you do
Im so shaken by you baby
I can barely breath
Everytime I see you
I just want to break down and cry
No ones ever moved me
Just the way you move me inside
Do you feel like I feel
Or am I all alone
Is this love really real
Baby Ive got to know
When you held me last night
Were your words really real
Are you just using me
Or do you feel like I feel
Do you feel like I feel
From that moment that I met you baby
I just knew
It was so easy for me just to be with you
When the sun comes shining
Will you still be lying by my side
Tell me if Im dreaming
Is there deeper meaning
For me in your life
Do you feel like I feel
Or am I all alone
Is this love really real
Baby Ive got to know
When you held me last night
Were your words really real
Are you just using me
Or do you feel like I feel
Do you feel like I feel
Im the one who wants you
Im the one who needs you
Im the one who wont let go
Youve got all the power
Im dying by the hour
Come on baby let me know
When you held me last night were your words really real
God Im so much in love
Do you feel like I feel, like I feel, like I feel

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Fiend

Whats behind your painted face
Can you see the real pig in the mirror
Revenge you breed I hate
Your skeletons begging to get out one by one
Dont let your secrets get out
Keep it in the brain dead circle
This is you
Create a new fantasia
cause it beats hating yourself, hating yourself
Chorus:
You came first in to mind
Known to feel unkind
Blind by what were showing
Known to feel unkind
Violet pretty show your face
Youre always fiending
So you crave
Laying the dumb ones down
You love the thrill of the chase
This is you
I laid you down then walked on you
Torrid binges bit you throughout
Misery for two
Im choking on your sweetness
I took fifteen from you
And youll never get this back
Truly disgraceful
Dont you know youre not the lucky one
You cant promise me
You dont know
Promise me youll know

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Two Angels

There was a time in my life
I just closed my eyes
days I couldn't look back
at the memories faded in my mind
wandering down this lonesome track
with two Angels here by my side
showing me where I had to go

These wounds that would never heal
lost pictures of you I never could find
they seem to still haunt me
stuck here in what now is reality
I can no longer feel
with two Angels here by my side
showing me the things I needed to know

Sitting in some empty motel room
staring out the window
into the silence of the night
thinking about what I left behind
some things you just can't hide
trying to make it right
with a heart full of gloom
two Angels to guide my way
remembering words you would never say

Lovers left in a masquerade
broken promises we never made
knowing neither one could stay
as we both just turn and walk away
in a world that never dies
two Angels try to fly
(spiritwind-2005)

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He's A Man of His Word

He contemplates life
In general who people are
Or what things are
What is it all about?

He likes to learn
From those of us
With knowledge
Of the here and now
And of the past

He taps away
At his keyboard
As he reads
As he writes
And discovered
To his knowledge
That it helps him
To be a better man

His words are immaculate
Even words I've never heard
But when he writes his poetry
It has meaning to each word

The man is so humble
On what he writes
On what he feels
And on how he preserves others
And their words

I bow to thee Kevin Patrick
Who is a man?
Of his every word

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In The Presence Of

AndersonHoweSquireWhite
September 11, 2001
Deeper than every ocean
Deeper than every river
That's what your presence brings to me
Revealing the words I listen
Seeing you in my silence
Learning I'm with you constantly
As I was before
If we were flowers
We would worship the sun
So why not now?
This high is shining brightly
Brighter than before
As the door was open wide
There inside was a diamond chair
Where I sat when I was young
I wrote down the words
Only when the young at heart
Can enter the real world
This chance I've waited for
For you to see
If I had chances I would spend them with you
To hold you close and let your love surround me
Deeper than before
(Deeper than every ocean)
And I know this love is real
(Deeper than every river)
Realize this is meant to be
That's what your eyes they say to me
You are listening to how I feel
So expectedly
(Brighter than every morning)
From the ocean to the sky
(Beautiful as the sunset)
Every river to the sea
Nature surrounds me constantly
We can hear love constantly
This is for you and me
Turn around and come deeper now
So what happens when I touch you there
You feel the words roll over you
Thinking of the better scenes
The memories
As everybody else just
Hasn't got the time
To help you anymore
'Cause if the reason for
The things that pleasure us
To please ourselves
Not pressure us
To give our ego
Some pleasure time
Can you imagine
Any reason
To know you're only fooling yourself
And then you'll unders

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In The Presence Of

AndersonHoweSquireWhite
September 11, 2001
Deeper than every ocean
Deeper than every river
That's what your presence brings to me
Revealing the words I listen
Seeing you in my silence
Learning I'm with you constantly
As I was before
If we were flowers
We would worship the sun
So why not now?
This high is shining brightly
Brighter than before
As the door was open wide
There inside was a diamond chair
Where I sat when I was young
I wrote down the words
Only when the young at heart
Can enter the real world
This chance I've waited for
For you to see
If I had chances I would spend them with you
To hold you close and let your love surround me
Deeper than before
(Deeper than every ocean)
And I know this love is real
(Deeper than every river)
Realize this is meant to be
That's what your eyes they say to me
You are listening to how I feel
So expectedly
(Brighter than every morning)
From the ocean to the sky
(Beautiful as the sunset)
Every river to the sea
Nature surrounds me constantly
We can hear love constantly
This is for you and me
Turn around and come deeper now
So what happens when I touch you there
You feel the words roll over you
Thinking of the better scenes
The memories
As everybody else just
Hasn't got the time
To help you anymore
'Cause if the reason for
The things that pleasure us
To please ourselves
Not pressure us
To give our ego
Some pleasure time
Can you imagine
Any reason
To know you're only fooling yourself
And then you'll unders

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More Than Words

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now Ive tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close dont ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

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More Than Words

Saying 'I love you'
Is not the words
I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say
But if you only knew
How easy
It would be to
Show me how you feel
More than words
Is all you have to do
To make it real
Then you wouldn't
Have to say
That you love me
'Cause I'd already know

What would you do
If my heart was torn in two
More than words
To show you feel
That your love
For me is real
What would you say
If I took those words away
Then you couldn't
Make things new
Just by saying
I love you

Just more than words
Is more than
What you say is the things you do
Oh yeah x2

Now that I have tried to
Talk to you
And make you understand
All you hav to do
Is close your eyes
And just reach out your hand
And touch me
Hold me close
Don't ever let me go
More than words
Is all I ever
Needed you to show
Then you wouldn't
Have to say
That you love me
'Cause I'd already know

What would you d
If my heart
Was torn in two
More than words
To show you feel
That you love
For me is real
What would you say
If I took
Those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying
I love you

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~Smile~

We all smile to show our happiness,
We use it a lot, Yes,

Smile can be fake or real,
Its used to show or hide how we feel,

Fake smile is shown when,
Pain in heart rises,
And real smile is shown when,
Unexpected happiness doubles in sizes,

Natural or Not,
But its better to show a real one on the spot,

Let us be honest,
the only time we show the real smile is when someone has touched our heart,
and when we show the fake smile,
is when someone has tear everything apart,

Yes we show our fake smile,
to show people that we are okay so they wont revile,

Its hard to put on a real one as your hurt,
And yes we try to heal it as we flirt,

Its time to face the fact,
Showing a fake smile is like showing a fake and stupid act,

Put every pain to the side and smile for now,
not for someone,
But for everyone,
and show it as we are endowed.

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More Than Words

Saying 'I Love you' is not the words
I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you not to say
But if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do
To make it real then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you
And make you understand all you have to do
is close your eyes and just reach out your hands

And touch me hold me close
Don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love 'cause I already know

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I Am The Pretty Girl-Chapter Two

By junior year I was feeling pretty lonely
and I went to this party
where all the pretty girls go
so I had to go and everything
there were boys there from the college.
boys I didn't see very often
mature boys
and I was curious
especially about the one named Josh;
he seemed nice
I had watched him from the time I arrived.
but more important
he seemed to have confidence about himself
in a way I wished I had confidence in my self.
I openly looked at him
caught his eye
letting him know girl-way
I liked him
miracle of all miracles he understood my look-
closed his eyes and started across the room toward me
a gentle smile on his face, growing as he drew near.

I was thrilled as I felt him before he even got close to me,
he had something which made me feel weak
a bit frightened but very excited.

Directly in front of me now
I gave him my blank stare
as he towered above me
and I
suddenly realizing
that all eyes were upon us.

To have a college boy interested in you
was the height
the room stood still
as he pivoted to stand
beside me
like we already knew
each other and everything
I could hear little gasps of surprise because
my girls friends thought that we
somehow
did know each other.

He stood there beside me
watching everyone in the room watch us
then he took my hand
slowly into his,
a soft touch,
just a soft touch
not an aggressive touch
and whispered
'Act casual and we can just cruise on out of here
You go first-I will cover you.'

He made me laugh and in that moment I relaxed.
Josh had the ability to make me laugh from the very start.

I took his hand and led him toward a side door
into what was a small garden
with sliding glass doors
so everyone could see us
but not hear us.
I was so relieved to be out of there
and he was too I guess.
He chuckled,
still holding my hand
finally saying;
'I am never going to let go of your hand
ever.'

I looked at him sideways
and he burst out laughing
'Well I will let go sometime
but not before you give me
one of your beautiful smiles.'

Involuntarily I did give him a big smile-
he made me smile,
and then with that smile still on my face
he slowly took his hand from mine
and placed his finger tips on my lips.

The entire room behind those glass doors
gave a hushed gasp
I could almost hear;
from my corner eye
I could see
see heads swirling
as people did double-takes
looking at us.
Then for the first time
in a long time
I felt like the pretty girl
a real pretty girl
thinking if Josh was
or was not going to be the one
to whom I would lose my virginity to.

The thought made me blush.

To be Continued

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Say The Words

Every light shines on you tonight
Making a fool out of me
Why wont this love leave me alone
All of the people in this smoky room
Crowded with faces I know
I feel them watching me watch you
Chorus
Say the words
Say the words
Say the words
Say the words so I can leave its over
Your eyes are deeper
They are worthy of many words
But none I can conjure up will do for you
I shouldnt see you
cause I know my own motivation
Its taking too long for this love
To leave me alone
Chorus
Say the words
Say the words
Say the words
Say the words so I can leave its over
Bridge
Oh love you worry me
When you say youll wait forever
I have another life
We just cannot be together
Chorus
Say the words
Say the words
Say the words
Say the words say them for me
I need to hear you say its over
Say the words
Say the words
Say the words so I can leave its over

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Still In Your Heart

The night you met, it was a magic start
All the connections were made in your heart
Following you everywhere, you could feel her eyes -
A glimpse of somebody, takes you by surprise
Another place and day, now wheres she gone?
You cant forget her face, or things you left undone
Re-run memories from the start -
The time has flown
All the time youve been appart
And shes still in your heart
Try as you might the recollections stay
Like a photographic memory of each day
You can feel her by your side in an empty room -
And words like forever, you spoke too soon
Another place and day, now wheres she gone?
You cant forget her face, or things you wish youd done
Re-run memories from the start -
The time has flown
Wheres end ending and the start?
Is she still in your heart?

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Deeper Side

Ive found a reason to dig deep down.
Theres a part of you that I aint found thats in your deeper side.
Instead of wondering what I should do,
I tried to learn a couple things about you from your deeper side.
Show me your deeper side. (show me your deeper side)
Show me your deeper side. (show me your deeper side)
Show me your deeper side. (its a mystery)
That I would give most anything to see.
Theres a lot of things that I would know
If you would let me climb into your soul and see your deeper side.
Everybody always seems so pure,
Then they show you what their heart stands for in their deeper side.
Show me your, yeah. (show me your deeper side)
Show me your deeper side. (show me your deeper side)
Show me your deeper side. (its a mystery)
I would give most anything to see.
You think the world has got your number now.
You cry about it but you know somehow its your deeper side.
I heard you wishing you were someone else
But all thats stopping you from being yourself is your deeper side.
So, show me your deeper side. (show me your deeper side)
Please, show me your deeper side. (show me your deeper side)
Oh, show me your deeper side. (its a mystery)
I would give most anything, and, I would give most anything.
You would give most anything to see.
Show me your deeper side.

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Deceived by a pretty face

Deceived by a pretty face
~
She talked so softly, almost sweet
With an air of sorrow in her voice
She looked on with a pretty face
And caught the eye and words
Of a passer by who stopped to believe
That a gentle soul lay in wait
And by being there he could help
Perhaps win her heart so he could protect
A feeling he at first did not concede
But grew to feel in the time he spent
Only such time he did not see
How a game was put to play
Soon his services were forgotten
His words cast aside without a care
Upset he quietly walked away
Realising he had been misled
Deceived by a pretty face

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Not because we are friends

Not because we are friends then I will
Be dishonest, calling a spade a diamond,

I don’t work that way, ugly is ugly
Pretty is pretty, and bad is bad and

Good is good to me, no matter what,
And you show me your face with a

New haircut, and ask me if you look
Good, and I say, you look the other

Way around, is the barber still alive?
Then you show me your poem that you

Wrote last night, and you ask me
What do you think? I think it is

I take a look, read a while and
Twitch my face many times than usual

Garbage, throw it in the wastebasket
And you say I am cruel, I am inconsi-

Derate about how you feel. I am
Telling you, you are my friend and

We are friends because we are honest.
Why not try writing another one again?

I will not teach you though, I write so
Bad myself, feeling so bad, but I will not stop

Being myself & be my harshest critique
I bought another trashcan, bigger this time.

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