The world wants oatmeal. It is not my job to give the world oatmeal. It is my job not to be a hack. It is my job to try to make the world chew, lest its lazy jaw muscles atrophy and its collective mandible withers and all its teeth fall out. It is my job, as a writer, to give the world toffee and peanut brittle and tough steak and celery. I write peanut butter sandwiches, not oatmeal. And every time some dolt whines, "I'm confused" or "I don't understand" or "This doesn't make any sense," I should smile and know that I'm doing my job. Not because it is my job to be opaque, but because it is not my job to be transparent.
quote by Caitlín R. Kiernan
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Related quotes
The Older You Get The More You Look Like Oatmeal
bronze body turns to oatmeal over time,
you'll see what I mean, unless you go blind,
why, who knows, it's just part of the wheel,
the older you get, the more you look like oatmeal.
poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You Put Your Chocolate In My Peanut Butter!
Hey you, you have too much hair and we dont like what you wear
And you have really bad breath so were gonna beat you to death
Because there is plenty of us and only one of you weve got plenty
Of reasons and heres just a few you put your chocolate in my
Peanut butter I was walking and you were in my way you looked
At me without my permission you never even apologized you put
Your chocolate in my peanut butter thats good enough reason for
Me to bash you put your chocolate in my peanut butter thats good
Enough reason for me to smash no justice / theres just us / so trust us
You put your chocolate in my peanut butter you put your chocolate in
My peanut butter you put your chocolate in my peanut butter you put
Your chocolate in my peanut butter
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Peanut Butter Lovers
Chocolate,
And marmalade...
Is a taste craved by some.
Who may just rave...
About the flavor that comes.
But...
Those who prefer their peanut butter,
Alone...
Spoon it from a jar protected,
As if its diamonds they own.
Peanut butter,
When it's discovered.
Is loved like nothing other,
To soothe one's secret druthers.
It is licked quick from the lips.
And it isn't there long.
Those addicted to their peanut butter,
Have stacks in their homes.
Oh yes, it's peanut butter...
When it's discovered.
Is loved like nothing other,
To soothe one's secret druthers.
Chocolate,
And marmalade...
Is a taste craved by some.
Who may just rave...
About the flavor that comes.
But it's peanut butter,
Loved like nothing other.
It can make one stutter,
When it is discovered.
Oh yes, it's peanut butter...
When it is discovered.
Is loved like nothing other,
To soothe one's secret druthers.
Those peanut butter lovers,
Are different from the others.
Those peanut butter lovers,
Are different from the others.
Those peanut butter lovers.
Keep your chocolate and that marmalade.
Peanut butter lovers,
Are different from the others.
Those peanut butter lovers,
Are different from the others.
Those peanut butter lovers.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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What I love is a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. I'll just have peanut butter and bananas, then peanut butter and pickles. Peanut butter and chocolate I don't recommend.
quote by Dianne Wiest
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Peanut-Butter Sandwich
I'll sing you a poem of a silly young king
Who played with the world at the end of a string,
But he only loved one single thing—
And that was just a peanut-butter sandwich.
His scepter and his royal gowns,
His regal throne and golden crowns
Were brown and sticky from the mounds
And drippings from each peanut-butter sandwich.
His subjects all were silly fools
For he had passed a royal rule
That all that they could learn in school
Was how to make a peanut-butter sandwich.
He would not eat his sovereign steak,
He scorned his soup and kingly cake,
And told his courtly cook to bake
An extra-sticky peanut-butter sandwich.
And then one day he took a bit
And started chewing with delight,
But found his mouth was stuck quite tight
From that last bite of peanut-butter sandwich.
His brother pulled, his sister pried,
The wizard pushed, his mother cried,
'My boy's committed suicide
From eating his last peanut-butter sandwich!'
The dentist came, and the royal doc.
The royal plumber banged and knocked,
But still those jaws stayed tightly locked.
Oh darn that sticky peanut-butter sandwich!
The carpenter, he tried with pliers,
The telephone man tried with wires,
The firemen, they tried with fire,
But couldn't melt that peanut-butter sandwich.
With ropes and pulleys, drills and coil,
With steam and lubricating oil—
For twenty years of tears and toil—
They fought that awful peanut-butter sandwich.
Then all his royal subjects came.
They hooked his jaws with grapplin' chains
And pulled both ways with might and main
Against that stubborn peanut-butter sandwich.
Each man and woman, girl and boy
Put down their ploughs and pots and toys
And pulled until kerack! Oh, joy—
They broke right through that peanut-butter sandwich
A puff of dust, a screech, a squeak—
The king's jaw opened with a creak.
And then in voice so faint and weak—
The first words that they heard him speak
Were, 'How about a peanut-butter sandwich?'
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I eat peanut butter
I eat peanut butter from a jar
Sitting quitly naked at the bar
Wired in frankincense and cheap olive oil
You can never spot where Ive hidden my old boil
I eat peanut butter with a spoon
Hanging on a telophone from the moon
Looking everywhere for the third rock in my drawer
cause I'm followed by the elaphant whose getting rather cold
I taste peanut butter with marmalade
Its sutured with nectrines with astringent taste
Surrounded by a gang of malefactent tea cups
Coming from Buenos Aries on the back of maple syrup
want to ride the posse of little bitty irishmen?
I lick peanut butter from outerspace
I was born southside so it goes to my waist
I lick peanut butter from a dress
Its my wifes who i never met
I take peanut butter to a zoo
Watching the contortions of the Gaia philharmonic
Exasperating riddles which their tvs cant decode
While swimming in the puzzles of a Lincoln camry ford
Bet you wished their was some Peanut butter
to explain this ghastly poem?
poem by Kevin Patrick
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Dirty Old Man
the dirty old man is eating
his favorite vanilla flavored oatmeal
he is mean and cheap
as he was in his younger days
filled with stories of his conquests
of the many women of the town
he looks at my wife his relative
he laughs and then looks back at me
and he said that it was all about a mother
growing the bones of a daughter
and a man comes along
boring a bigger hole inside her
she did not find it funny of course
something lewd is not laudable
i look at his mustache
some oatmeal got stuck somehow.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Peanut, Butter, and Jelly
Peanut
The sky is lit
with someone walking in the mist
Butter
Romantic honey moon trips
Peanut and Butter
Together Forever
Hate can't separate them
They stay together
Side by side
Peanut Butter forever
Thick and thin
With Jelly by their side
The three friends stay together
Forever
Peanut, Butter, and Jelly
Stay together
Forever
poem by Jason Colon
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Witch And The Cat
there was once a witch,
who loved to sew and stich,
with her she had a cat,
who could make all kind of hats
, once the day came,
when the cat ran away
, and the witch was to blame,
she cooked him a meal,
of rye and oatmeal
, the rye was sour,
and the oatmeal tasted like tar, s
o he galloped of,
to a fairy named heretha toff,
the witch when saw the scene,
was less than pleased,
she did a magic spell,
who cats whereabouts could tell,
she hurried towards the house,
quite as a mouse,
leave him alone you swine
that cat, yea him he's mine,
'okay'the fairy shuddered
cause the witch she dreaded,
but the cat gave out a tiny smile,
i'm gonna send you away a thousand miles,
he said something enchanted
the witch's face looked haunted'
what have you done to me'she cried
for she herself was flying
after the witch was gone
they celebrated with a songa
nd here is how it ened
no more the story bended
it ended in laughter
and a happy ever after.
poem by Kanika Varma
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee, toffee
Come sei gi sveglia
Da quanto tempo sei li, cos
Hai gi preparato il caff
Saresti proprio una brava moglie, eh
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee, toffee
Passami l'asciugamano
Quello bianco li sul divano
Toffee, dai che c'ho freddo toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee, toffee, toffee, toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee
Oh toffee, toffee, toffee, toffee, toffee
Toffe, toffee, toffee, toffee
song performed by by Vasco Rossi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.
quote by Barry Goldwater
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Oatmeal
I eat oatmeal for breakfast.
I make it on the hot plate and put skimmed milk on it.
I eat it alone.
I am aware it is not good to eat oatmeal alone.
Its consistency is such that is better for your mental health
if somebody eats it with you.
That is why I often think up an imaginary companion to have
breakfast with.
Possibly it is even worse to eat oatmeal with an imaginary
companion.
Nevertheless, yesterday morning, I ate my oatmeal porridge,
as he called it with John Keats.
Keats said I was absolutely right to invite him:
due to its glutinous texture, gluey lumpishness, hint of slime,
and unsual willingness to disintigrate, oatmeal should
not be eaten alone.
He said that in his opinion, however, it is perfectly OK to eat
it with an imaginary companion, and that he himself had
enjoyed memorable porridges with Edmund Spenser and John
Milton.
Even if eating oatmeal with an imaginary companion is not as
wholesome as Keats claims, still, you can learn something
from it.
Yesterday morning, for instance, Keats told me about writing the
"Ode to a Nightingale."
He had a heck of a time finishing it those were his words "Oi 'ad
a 'eck of a toime," he said, more or less, speaking through
his porridge.
He wrote it quickly, on scraps of paper, which he then stuck in his
pocket,
but when he got home he couldn't figure out the order of the stanzas,
and he and a friend spread the papers on a table, and they
made some sense of them, but he isn't sure to this day if
they got it right.
An entire stanza may have slipped into the lining of his jacket
through a hole in his pocket.
He still wonders about the occasional sense of drift between stanzas,
and the way here and there a line will go into the
configuration of a Moslem at prayer, then raise itself up
and peer about, and then lay \ itself down slightly off the mark,
causing the poem to move forward with a reckless, shining wobble.
He said someone told him that later in life Wordsworth heard about
the scraps of paper on the table, and tried shuffling some
stanzas of his own, but only made matters worse.
I would not have known any of this but for my reluctance to eat oatmeal
alone.
When breakfast was over, John recited "To Autumn."
He recited it slowly, with much feeling, and he articulated the words
lovingly, and his odd accent sounded sweet.
He didn't offer the story of writing "To Autumn," I doubt if there
is much of one.
But he did say the sight of a just-harvested oat field go thim started
on it, and two of the lines, "For Summer has o'er-brimmed their
clammy cells" and "Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours,"
came to him while eating oatmeal alone.
I can see him drawing a spoon through the stuff, gazing into the glimmering
furrows, muttering.
Maybe there is no sublime; only the shining of the amnion's tatters.
For supper tonight I am going to have a baked potato left over from lunch.
I am aware that a leftover baked potato is damp, slippery, and simultaneaously
gummy and crumbly, and therefore I'm going to invite Patrick Kavanagh
to join me.
poem by Galway Kinnell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If I Were In Charge of the World
If I were in charge of the world
I'd cancel oatmeal,
Monday mornings,
Allergy shots, and also Sara Steinberg.
If I were in charge of the world
There'd be brighter nights lights,
Healthier hamsters, and
Basketball baskets forty eight inches lower.
If I were in charge of the world
You wouldn't have lonely.
You wouldn't have clean.
You wouldn't have bedtimes.
Or "Don't punch your sister."
You wouldn't even have sisters.
If I were in charge of the world
A chocolate sundae with whipped cream and nuts would be a vegetable
All 007 movies would be G,
And a person who sometimes forgot to brush,
And sometimes forgot to flush,
Would still be allowed to be
In charge of the world.
poem by Judith Viorst
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We Can Make It
I would do anything, anything a man can do
Youre my strength and weakness
I give it all for you
I would climb any mountain
How can I make you see?
Though the stars may fall, it will always be you and me
The light in your eyes is all the hope I need
Theres so much you can give
Your smile is my reason to live
Just take my hand, well make a stand
I know that we can make it
(hey) its you and me. the world will see
I know that we can make it, you and me
I see you, full of sadness
Wondering bout this world weve made
Theres a space between us all
Love has seen some better days
Oh we can make it
Oh we can make it
The love in your eyes is all I need to know
Im never letting go
Im here for you heart and soul
Just take my hand, well make a stand
I know that we can make it
(hey) its you and me, the world will see
I know that we can make it
I know that we can make it (hey, yeah)
Just take my hand, well make a stand
I know that we can make it
(hey) its you and me. the world will see
I know that we can make it
I know that we can make it
You and me
(sikes-cedro-scholz)
song performed by by Boston
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cookie Crumbs
Cookies will save the world.
Cookies have saved the world.
Thirteen of them landed on the moon
They called them the Apollo 13 of cookies
Chocolate Chip built the pyramids
And Macadamia painted the Sistine Chapel
The Nile runs with milk
Because the sun is an Oreo
And the sun is the Nile's favorite
Favorite cookie
Superman defeated no one
Super Sugar Cookie did all that
Double Chocolate Jackie Robinson
Was the first Afro-American to play baseball in the majors
And Oatmeal Raison was the first president
Who couldn't tell a lie
Girl Scouts sell cookies
In an effort to save the world
Because that's what cookies do best
I wish I could write more
But my cookie is gone
I ate it while I wrote this poem
My inspiration is now in my tummy
I think we all could save the world
If the world ran on cookies
But now there's nothing left of mine but
Crumbs
poem by Tsunami HiroshiSu
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Paranoid
Everybody says I'm paranoid they all think I'm crazy
They all smile to my face but they'd like to see me die
They put poison in my coffee they put ground glass in my oatmeal
They put spiders in my tennis shoes and shit in my pecan pie
It's hard to stop and figure out where did it all begin
You see my father wanted a little girl and my mother wanted twins
And my grandpa admired Hitler so everything I did was wrong
And I'm gonna stop now cause even though you're smilin' I know you hate this song
Yeah and I know you're only listenin' cause you don't wanna hurt my feelin's
And you're just waitin' for me to leave so you can laugh about my open fly
You put the poison in my coffee you put the ground glass in my oatmeal
You put the spiders in my tennis shoes and you shit in my pecan pie
I know don't deny it I know I know I know
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Let Me Give The World To You
Last chance to make believe in
Always and all it seems
Train wrecks hide underneath
Your umbrella
Set the frame
Destiny, on this first name soliloquy
Tired symphonies played downward
Let me give the world to you, my love
Let me give the world to you, my love
Let me show you what I'm thinking of
Let me give the world to you, my love
So far
So far
So far
Lovers form dead excuse
And blur the lines with soul abuse
My lonesome lies just have no use around here
New skin may hold you in
But the old skin still turns us on
Flicker fades the nitrate dawn to where
Let me give the world to you, my love
Let me give the world to you, my love
Times are hard and we're the last in line
'Cause in my grief I'd forgotten what was mine
No, I wouldn't change a thing
No, I, no
No, I wouldn't change a thing
About the way you are
The distance here
The speed so far
So far
So far
So far
Let me give the world to you, my love
Let me give the world to you, my love
Let me give the world to you
Let me give the world to you
Let me give the world to you
Let me give the world to you
Let me give the world to you, my love
So far
So far
So far
song performed by by Smashing Pumpkins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nothin Song
Began this take at 7:38
Head hit the board, enough that it aches
Wonder should I be working so late
Began this take at 7:38
Head hit the board, enough that it aches
Wonder should I be working so late
Wonder should I be working so late
Began this take at 7:38
Head hit the board, enough that it aches
Wonder should I be working so late
Wonder should I be working so late
Well the nothin song sticks to your mouth
Like peanut butter on the brain (2x)
Nothin ever stays the same
Nothin, yeah nothin, nothin, nothin
Went outside to give all a break
Wearing cowhide, steak on a skate
Back inside, sam throw away your cake
Went outside to give all a break
Went outside to give all a break
Wearing cowhide, steak on a skate
Back inside, sam throw away your cake
Back inside, sam throw away your cake
Well the nothin song sticks to your mouth
Like peanut butter on the brain (2x)
Nothin ever stays the same
Nothin, yeah nothin, nothin, nothin
Gotta finish so I can awake
Feed the cat as she spreads all the waste
Snap her neck or trade in for new make
Gotta finish so I can awake
Feed the cat as she spreads all the waste
Snap her neck or trade in for new make
Snap her neck or trade in for new make
Well the nothin song sticks to your mouth
Like peanut butter on the brain (2x)
Nothin ever stays the same
Well the nothin song sticks to your mouth
song performed by by Alice In Chains
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Girl Like Me
A girl like me will make your world better
A girl like me will make you happy
A girl like me will make you smile everyday.
A girl like me will surround only you in my world
A girl like me will make you laugh nonstop
A girl like me will make time for you.
A girl like me will sit and listen to your words
A girl like me will not play games with you or your heart
A girl like me will always be true to you.
A girl like me will talk to you all night
A girl like me will be the one you can count on to be there for you
A girl like me will always be down for you no matter what.
A girl like me will be the one you can put your trust in
A girl like me will make you my whole world
A girl like me will give you everything I possibly can.
A girl like me needs a king
A girl like me could be your queen
A girl like me could be your everything.
A girl like me will let you have fun
A girl like me will lay with you and just smile
A girl like me will be the one you can just hang out with.
A girl like me will be the one to hold you at night
A girl like me will be the one you can fall asleep with
A girl like me will make you see what's on the brighter side.
A girl like me will keep you outta trouble
A girl like me will be there when no one else will
A girl like me will be the one you can open up to.
A girl like me could be your world that you have been looking for
A girl like me could be right in front of you
A girl like me could be the one you need to survive this life.
A girl like me is me
There is no other girl like me
Take me to be yours and get all of the above.
poem by Kimberly Santistevan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hearts Of The World
Give me a minute, give me some time, give me a second to make up my mind
Just wait a moment, i want a chance to think it over
You say you can't wait forever, but something holds me back
Between the two of us, we can't decide, just where the answer lies
Chorus:
You know hearts of the world will understand, you know they will
Hearts of the world will understand
I feel a pressure i can't resist, intoxicated from the first kiss
Over the limit, your invitations leave me breathless
Although i can't wait much longer, something holds me back
Between the two of us the tensions rise, this feeling won't subside
You know hearts of the world will understand, you know they will
Hearts of the world will understand
My mind is torn between right and wrong, the two extremes and i hate it
I won't give in to you, just 'cos you want me too, ooh, life's so complicated
Ah but given time i might change my mind, we just have to face it
Between the two of us, we can't decide, just where the answer lies
(guitar solo)
Although i can't wait much longer, something holds me back
Between the two of us the tensions rise, this feeling won't subside
You know hearts of the world will understand, you know they will
Hearts of the world will understand - you know they will
Hearts of the world will understand, hearts of the world will understand
Hearts of the world will understand, hearts of the world will understand
(repeats out)
song performed by by Starship
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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