Was Kermit a Vegen?
Chasity Erbaugh has had a sight to be seen.
She had purchased frozen green beans at the Wal-Mart in Tyler, Texas.
A Great Value Brand, by name, but appeared to be a Surely Shock Brand,
When she brought it home.
After microwaving the frozen green beans to feed her children,
She noticed peculiar that didn’t look like bean,
Chasity came across a legless frog that was green.
Catfish and frog legs are very popular in local restaurants around here,
And China too!
Maybe the green beans and the processing of frog legs were at the same location?
Anyway, was this frog related to Kermit? Was he a vegen?
Chasity brought this up to the management of her local Wal-Mart,
They, in turn, delightfully handed a $1.00 coupon off her next bag of frozen green beans.
How thoughtful is that?
How so disgusting?
So Wal-Mart,
The company is thinking about getting into the marriage wedding and reception business,
After which, the couple will have kids to be poisoned by the lead content in toys,
Manufactured in China,
Most likely the couple will have pet dog, which can poisoned by the dog food,
That was made in China.
To the human part, Wal-Mart will provide a clinic for getting rid of illness.
Eye doctors, pretty soon dentists, and maybe vets.
From cradle to the grave, what fun, what bliss.
8-17-09
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Play Froggy Mountain Dew Or The Kermit Generation
Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog was on America’s Got Talent last night.
Personally, I enjoyed them a lot more than David Hasselhoff.
Kermit and his relatives are making a big splash on TV,
- and everywhere in sight.
First there was frog in frozen string beans purchased at a Wal-Mart,
Now there was ‘frog’ in a Diet Pepsi can purchased at Sam’s Club,
An affiliate of Wal-Mart from the start,
Where the 36 pack was sold.
The 'disgusting' blob,
-that Fred DeNegri's wife says she poured out of his Diet Pepsi can,
-was probably a gutted frog or toad.
DeNegri was grilling in his backyard tiki,
In Ormond Beach, Florida,
when he popped open a can of Diet Pepsi,
-took a big gulp and started gagging, his wife, Amy, said.
Little did they know some sort of an amphibian was dead?
He emptied out the can down a sink but something heavy remained inside.
Frog legs anyone?
Because the creature had surely died.
They brought the can to the garbage—they couldn’t wait.
His wife took over and shook the can over a paper plate,
-until something resembling 'pink linguini' slid out,
- followed by 'dark stuff, ' Amy DeNegri said.
What happened to Fred?
‘Dark matter’? Was this a physics experiment gone amuck that came about?
As far as Pepsi is concerned; they are keeping mum.
The DeNegri’s are seeking legal advice, which would seem fit.
As far as Pepsi goes, an out of court settlement; --they should hop to it.
9-3-09
poem by Joe Rosochacki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Frog
France and China feed from your demise,
Restaurateurs are not exactly chums,
Oh how they rave about your tender thighs!
Gourmand orders - another frog succumbs…
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
frog
frog frog
frog frog
frog frog
frog frog
Frog frog
poem by Mark R Slaughter
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Phileas the Frog
Phileas the frog was awfully large -
To see the muscle in his thighs -
A sight bedazzling to your eyes!
With plenty there to feed a town -
If you would dare to take him down!
Phileas the frog could tow a barge.
One hefty bound could clear a tree -
A scary sight I'll guarantee!
And something else to make me dread:
Were he to land upon my head!
Phileas the frog was known as 'Sarge -'
Accounted by that massive chest.
No other frog would care to jest
That tidy Phileas!
So if you've sense and know your place -
And hold some value to your face,
Then don't get supercilious
With Phileas!
Copyright © Mark Raymond Slaughter 2009
All rights reserved.
Frog frog frog frog frog frog frog frog
Frog frog frog frog frog frog frog frog
Frog frog frog frog frog frog frog frog
poem by Mark R Slaughter
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Frog Sees Tara
A small and green but drunken frog
sat in the evening on his log.
He contemplated there on life
and wished he had a green frog wife.
He'd interviewd a thousand frogs,
kept diaries and detailed logs.
But never did he find the one
who'd rest all day out in the sun
and dream with him at night in bed
so this green frog was never wed.
One day he saw, down near the trees
a British subject. What a tease!
She was a trifle big but, well,
we cannot all live in a shell.
She chatted with the folks and then
there was a silence among men.
They looked at her, so did the frog
he sat, quite drunken, on his log.
He dreamed that if he ever were...
this was the girl. If frogs could purr! ! !
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Frog In The Log
There once was a handsome green frog
who resided inside an old log.
He had cut two small vents
in the log for defense
but the stork used, as cover, the fog.
And he swallowed the frog in the buff
though just one frog was never enough
for a frog in a log
who can't see in the fog
daily life can be utterly tough.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Gullible, The Bear
A Dachshund who was long of hair
met in the forest an old bear.
The bear was sitting on a log
and held in his huge paws a frog.
The hound adored all frogs and toads
and always scanned the fields and roads
for something green that blended in,
it gave him a contented grin.
'What did you have in mind, Big Bear? '
Hound asked, his voice now full of flair.
'Frog legs', the bear said, 'are for me,
my snack to have with the green tea.'
'How could you eat the spark of life? !
He may have children and a wife!
Do you not know, you big bad mug
that I could make from you a rug? '
He spoke, as Dachshunds are so prone
as if the subject were a bone,
then showed his teeth, let out a growl
which then alerted Mrs. Owl.
'Oh, yes', said Mrs.Owl, 'it's true,
a hound can really finish you.
So let the frog go home I say,
that way, your hide will be okay! '
The bear looked at the frog and then
down to the dog and counted ten.
He did not need a bad surprise
and knew that owls are very wise.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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Walking The Frog
I have a pet frog
We go frog walking every day at 6pm
He is fine until he sees another frog
He sniffs & then tries to jump
I pull him away
Last week we had a problem
My frog stopped to do his business
A passer bye said stop your frog fouling
I cleared up after him but it left a slimy mark
The other man slipped on it
My frog likes water
Especially ponds
He likes jumping on lilies
The local gardener is mad
Control your frog he shouts
Well now Im in trouble
Despite the sign
Beware of the FROG
He bit a policeman
A fine guard frog
My frog is now banned
From walks anywhere
Poor froggy is in a cell
Eating flies & drinking water
Its a frogs life
poem by Alan Draper
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In A Can
sitting in my old chair
on the porch breaking
green beans... waiting
on the storm.
wind whips through the trees,
a streak of lightning, occasional
thunder... breaking beans.
thinking about my grandparents,
working down at the mill...
farming, grew four gardens...
cows, pigs, chickens, and
turkeys...
no one ever went hungry
there... no one around them
went hungry...
there was always food to eat,
and work to be done....
but that day has come and gone....
now we work on computers,
or dont work at all....
and most young people think
chickens come from the meat
section... and...
green beans come in a can....
no wonder we're hungry!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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Being Green
(joe raposo)
One day, as I was walking through my garden, I saw a little frog lying on the ground. and I thought he was sick. so I picked him up and he wasnt sick at all. he was very sad, and he was crying.
I said: whats a matter with you, little frog? and he looked up at me with a lump in his throat, and he said: wribbit!
It aint easy being green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think, I think it would be nicer being red
Or yellow or gold
You see, it aint easy being green
It seems to blend in with so many other ordinary things
And then, sometimes, sometimes people pass over you
Because youre not standing out like sparkles on the water
Or like the stars in the sky
But did you know that green is the color of spring
And green can be big like an ocean
And important like a mountain
And cool and friendly-like
Or tall and skinny like a tree
And me
But when green is all there is to be
It kind of makes you wonder why
Why wonder, wonder why?
Hey, Im green and I think itll do fine
cause green is just what I wanna be
cause green is beautiful, baby
Right on green
And anyway, moneys green
Wribbit
song performed by by Diana Ross
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Matchmaker
Behind my house there is a quaint little pond
And every time it rains a little green frog responds
I know that he is lonely and cries into the night
He is longing to find a mate to be complete and all right
The heat is sweltering and he swims on afternoons
Longing for the rain during the night to voice his tunes
Sometimes he is resting on a moist mossy green rock
Looking around aware of his biological clock
On the other side there is a creek behind the pool
There is a small green frog all alone and it's cruel
So I went and captured the one by my pond
And brought it over to the creek to make a bond
Now my nights are filled with silence and peace
And one would think my good night's rest would increase
But instead I was wondering if the frogs getting along
Because if not - then what I did was totally wrong
This morning my neighbor that lives by the creek
Came over to complain about the noise at night's peak
She said that there is a whole family of green frog's right there
She will never know how happy I am about that - I swear
© 2011
poem by Kristina Louisa Carr
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Proud to be a frog
I am proud to be a frog, though I know not why.
The green of my skin, so utterly devine;
as to what others say, (to which I am blind)
'You are proud to be a frog, though we do not know why'.
To look at the toad or turtle, they are a shame.
They are slow and weak, their legs poorly shaped.
If you dare to look closely at the great frog race;
we are quick and spry, objects of envious hate.
To the toad that is brown or the newt that is orange.
Their ugliness is a disgrace, no more than a sore;
and as to what I say, (to frogs it is right)
'We are proud to be frogs, all apart must die! '
poem by Shirow Walker
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Skippy the Frog
Skippy the frog alone on his pad,
Admiring his reflection as if his dad.
His frog legs are strong as he jumped so high,
Landing on a turtle he missed the fly.
Thomas the turtle, scared half to death,
As he plunged under the water with barely a breath.
Skippy the frog, laughing, as hard as he could,
Thinking Thomas the turle was a piece of wood.
But laughing at someone he had hurt,
Thomas the turtle ate green desert!
poem by Keith Foley
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A Little Frog
A little Frog could well be
A beating Frog in camouflage
A jumping Frog cold, scary
A poisoning Frog breathing through the skin
An Underwater Frog flooding…
A Drowned heart in love with...
The little Frog.
poem by Florida Angel
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A pure white poem and empty shops
I asked a dog-walker for the short cut
to the local centre shop.
She told me 'Walk to the village green
then turn right. A skip and a hop.'
'Thank you' I said, unknowingly
that the village green WASN'T green..
Everything was blanketed in a coat of snow,
it was WHITE where the green had been!
I followed the tracks and got to the shop
where crowds were milling about lost.
The bread and eggs they were looking for
could not be bought at any cost.
The shelves were bare, reminded me
of reports I'd seen on the telly.
Thirds World countries, very little food,
youngsters with hunger-swollen bellies.
Ah well, it's pasta for me tonight
and tomorrow again, no doubt.
Those tomatoes in cans will be useful and, I expect,
the tin of beans will eke it out.
poem by Francesca Johnson
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Hop Frog
Well they call me a juicy hop-frog
you can see me in any wood bog
don't you know that they call me the hop-frog
hopping frog
I'm a hop-frog
a hop-frog
they call me the hop-frog
hop, hop-frog
They call me the hop-frog
see me in any wood bog
don't you know that call me a hop-frog
hop-frog
They call me the hop-frog
see me in a wood bog
they're calling me a hop-frog
hop-frog
You can see me in a ballroom
you can see me in a bedroom
you can see me in the woods
hop, hop-frog
They call me the hop-frog
they call you the hop-frog
well they call you the hop-frog
hop, hop-frog
Frog
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Frogiven (no thats not a typo)
Not quite a Prince Charming
with your propensity to stick
the glass slipper
in your little green mouth
But alas if when I kiss you
you do not turn to my prince.
I guess I will have to love
an adorable frog that
occasionally acts as a toad
As many times as I kiss
your adorable green face
your still my adorable frog.
A prince of one indeed
but green and bumpy all the same.
Leaping through most days
sometimes you miss the lillypad
Splat you submerge
only'to swim up again.
When surfaced still no prince,
but toads dont swim
So 'ribbit, ribbit, ribbit'
let me get out babel fish and give you
the frog to woman translation
'Your frogiven for evermore'
try, if ya' would,
to channel your inner prince
and not be such a toad!
poem by Sandra Dodd
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Oh Little Frog
Oh Little Frog, Oh Little Frog
I love you so completely
I love to see you sitting there
On the lily pad so neatly
Your googly eyes spy little flies
That's scrummy in your tummy
You hop around from pad to pad
You really do look funny
Your neon green
Your big long tongue
You are a prince it’s true
I really wish that I could be a frog
Just the same as you
poem by Grant Stevenson
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Read-It, Read-It, Read-It.....
Said the good-natured mouse
who was sharing a house
which was really a log
with a goose-shit-green frog:
You keep bringing me books
about farming and chooks
it is thoughtful of you
if only you knew
that I plum don't recall
what to do with them all.
Take this book, do I need it? '
Frog answered 'read-it'.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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China (Ronson Vocal)
China, China, the evening's moving in
See you, soon now, the boat moves with the wind
China, China, I can see the harbour lights
Light your, fire, we'll be warm tonight
China, China, the thoughts drift from the sea
I'm dreaming, of you, wear your dress for me
China, China, the oceans on the wheel(?)
The seagulls flying lower now
China I can feel you by my side
Across the bay, across the Tyne
Can you hear me say
China, China, wear your hair down low
Lady, Lady, you're frozen to the bone
China, China, the catch was good today
The oilskins clinging to my back
And the lantern gently sways
Oh don't you cry, the kids to bed
Didn't mean the things I said
China, China, the years go rolling by
Laughter, sorrow, I will not make you cry
China, China, think before you speak
Always remember the ocean hauls as deep
And if I'm tired of feeling low
Don't let me sleep, you know
China, China, the men are on the quay
Drinking, smoking, talking quietly
The water's calmer now
All my work is done
So China, see ya.
song performed by by Ian Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Friendship Of The Frogs
this the picture of a green frog
with big rolling eyes
like a golf ball
it floats on a lily leaf
beside it a big yellow lily flower
the waters ripple
it is a happy frog of friendship
that my friends sent me an hour ago
and my friend wants it back
in a minute
to assure
that i still want her back
i am thinking like a slimy frog.
shall i send it back or not?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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