This damn television
(This is a fictional poem)
I hate this damn television that my wife just bought.
When I ask people if I'm intelligent, they say I'm not.
This TV only picks up one channel and that really blows.
It only has one program that's about washing clothes.
This one show is irritating and it's starting to make me fume.
Why did my wife put this damn television in the laundry room?
poem by Randy Johnson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Television Man
Im looking and Im dreaming for the first time
Im inside and Im outside at the same time
And everything is real
Do I like the way I feel?
When the world crashes in into my living room
Television man made me what I am
People like to put the television down
But we are just good friends
(Im a) television man
I knew a girl, she was a macho man
But its alright, I wasnt fooled for long
This is the place for me
Im the king, and youre the queen
Chorus
Take a walk in the beautiful garden
Everyone would like to say hello
It doesnt matter what you say
Come and take us away
The world crashes in, into my living room
The world crashes in, into my living room
The world crashes in, into my living room
The world crashes in, into my living room
And we are still good friends...(television man)
Im watching everything...(television man)
Television man...(television man)
Im watching everything...(television man)
Television man...and Im gonna say
We are still good friends...and Im trying to be
Watchin everything...and I gotta say
We are still good friends...you know the way it is
Television man...Ive got what you need
We are still good friends...i know the way you are
Television man...i know what youre tryin to be
Watchin everything...and I gotta say
Thats how the story ends.
song performed by by Talking Heads
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tv Is King
All right! yeah!
I wish I was a man with a mechanical heart
Id conquer all my enemies alone
Id tear the guys apart
Then scatter the pieces
I wish I was the man in the sound proof booth
I wish I had a chance to stump the band
Or maybe tell the truth
And maybe I could win a color television
I really love my television
I love to sit by television
Cant live without my television
Tv is king
Youre my everything
I wish I had the girl with the bouncy hair
Wed ride off in a brand new car
Or fly a plane somewhere
Like probably jamaica
Ill brush my teeth, shampoo my hair,
And shave my face
Apply the necessary aerosol
In the appropriate place
And well spend the night together
Watching television
I cant turn off my television
Dont really know why television
I understand my television
Youve got your works in a drawer
And your colors on track
You have to brave the way
But you always come back
You make a hundred changes
But youre always the same
You make me so excited
And you make me so lame
Youre just a cute ball of gas
And a box full of tin
But you show me your junk
And I want to jump in
Oh if only your chassis
Was covered with skin
cause tv youre my everything
song performed by by Todd Rundgren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I did I Love My Wife on Broadway in 1978, and then went into television land. Now things are starting to come together in the way I thought they might when I was a kid.
A Window
I view television as a window into the world which I have come to hate
I view the silence when it's off as something to appreciate
Despite advances in multiple fields of entertainment this beast persists
The brain-rotting glow cube substituting denominator for greatness
Somehow I don't hate this beast
But I'd like to see somebody slay it
With the right line come out and SAY IT
Watch it disappear as quickly as it came
That'll take about fifty years then.
How can you love a distraction that is fractured with distraction?
How can you tolerate a program broken apart by ad fragments?
Why is your brain such a dull and listless tool?
Did you willingly tune it to a channel less cruel?
A window lets light in, and lets home truths out.
This one lets light out, and when off, reflects light back.
It seems to be a joyful giver
But for all the beams it radiates
The thing it takes from us is much more valuable
I would say dear
But if you've lost it you don't realise it
Then it's long gone.
Television the joyful giver.
Television the soul and sole deciever.
poem by Gary Diamond
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God Damn Me
There isn't enough hot water to be in
There isn't enough salt lake to to lie in
There isn't enough sky to fly in
So softly
There isn't enough breath to breathe
Not for me
Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me
There isn't enough snow to see through
Snows too deep
There isn't enough fog to see through
Not through to me
There isn't enough gain to get from
Not from me
Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me
Nothing changes
Nothing we erase
Nothing to change
Nothing but me
Oh God damn me
Oh God damn me
song performed by by Filter from The Amalgamut
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Damn
You and I....
there you go again when ya
rub up my skin
i have to catch my breathe
I began to sweat
oh..
Lips
tracing down my neck
and its scaring me to death
I just learned to draw me to the clear
just to push me off
just to push me off the edge
Damn I hate the way you know me
and Damn
you kill when you hold me
Like I'm your world
like this wont hurt
like a favorite cursing every nerve
damn
I'm fightin and I'm losin it
damn you
your pullin and a pushin
I'm wrestlin with
I toss and twist
til finally I give in
damn...
I hate being addicted
only
you would have predicted
that I'd be told
I'd want
song performed by by LeAnn Rimes from Twisted Angel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't feel the obligation to have a big explosion in the first 20 seconds so the audience doesn't turn on another channel. We are trying to make something that looks like a feature film that was bought for television and I think we are succeeding.
quote by Tom Selleck
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shut Up
I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil
I'm like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festering boil
I get under your skin and I sebaceously form
I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn
Keep ya hungry for more like Bangladesh
Then I'll borg di borg do borg ya like the Swedish Chef
Cause I'm one of a kind and kind of hard to find
Kind of like an Injun without his fire water wine
I'm like Schneider one day at a time
I'm feeling like Bob Vila nailing up your behind
To my wall like Daniel-son does
I'm waxing on I'm waxing off I'm waxing just because
I get wired like a Western Union and I got to be me
And I got more balls than the daily lottery
Like hemorrhoidal itch yo you can't ignore me
Cause I'm more tongue and cheek than a lesbo orgy
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
Second verse is different from the first
I'm Jimmy Pop I am
Jimmity Jimmity Pop I am I am
See my name's not Hoover and I don't give a damn
And I got a different angle like a parellelogram
And you'll be all ears like a field of corn
I'll make you Dizzy like Gillespie as I toot my own horn
Like a No. 2 pencil I always got a point
You'll want to share it with friends like a poorly rolled joint
I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm an Alka Seltzer that's right you're a seagull
As I continue to expand your head is gonna burst
Leave a bad taste in your mouth like moldy Liverwurst
Like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre I'll get in your face
But then I'll brush you off like Aqua-Fresh toothpaste
Cause I'm letting off steam like a Chinese Laundromat
But I'm not a roll of Charmin so don't give me no crap
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
I hate a lot of whites and I hate a lot of blacks
I hate poopin' in public places but we all hate that
I hate lesbian feminists because they're all so damn ugly
I hate Spin Magazine cause they never ever plug me
I hate Regis and I hate Kathie Lee
I hate every single movie by that midget Spike Lee
I hate people that think I care what they think
I hate people that think their ass don't stink
I hate Jon Bon Jovi but I hate his music more
I hate killing people because I hate to keep score
I hate you but you hate yourself too
I hate to be honest but I'd hate to be you
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
song performed by by Bloodhound Gang from One Fierce Beer Coaster
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Love Pollution
Find the colour
Sight and sound
A new exposure comes around
Anaesthetic for the mind
Hear the voice that soothes away the pain
Television, satellite,
Conversation running dry
Sending back another text
Holding on to words you might regret
You know you might regret
(chorus)
Cause now I can see that I love all the things
That you do with each day
And it feels, so damn good
Every second that passes me by with the blink of an eye
It just feels, so damn good
Find the colour, find the colour
Looking for something new
A taste of life to pull you through
Defences down your feeling low
A change in feeling comes around again
Its coming round again
(chorus)
Cause now I can see that I love all the things
That you do with each day
And it feels, so damn good
Every second that passes me by
With the blink of an eye
It just feels, so damn good
So damn good
I read the papers yesterday
They say that the bubble boys ok
Another day of rain to come
Were sitting back still waiting for the sun
Waiting for the sun
(chorus)
Cause now I can see that I love all the things
That you do with each day
And it feels, so damn good
Every second that passes me by
With the blink of an eye
It just feels, so damn good
Now I see that I love all the things
That you do with each day
And it feels, so damn good
Every second that passes me by
With the blink of an eye
It just feels, so damn good
song performed by by Feeder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Find The Colour
Find the colour
Sight and sound
A new exposure comes around
Anaesthetic for the mind
Hear the voice that soothes away the pain
Television, satellite,
Conversation running dry
Sending back another text
Holding on to words you might regret
You know you might regret
(chorus)
Cause now I can see that I love all the things
That you do with each day
And it feels, so damn good
Every second that passes me by with the blink of an eye
It just feels, so damn good
Find the colour, find the colour
Looking for something new
A taste of life to pull you through
Defences down your feeling low
A change in feeling comes around again
Its coming round again
(chorus)
Cause now I can see that I love all the things
That you do with each day
And it feels, so damn good
Every second that passes me by
With the blink of an eye
It just feels, so damn good
So damn good
I read the papers yesterday
They say that the bubble boys ok
Another day of rain to come
Were sitting back still waiting for the sun
Waiting for the sun
(chorus)
Cause now I can see that I love all the things
That you do with each day
And it feels, so damn good
Every second that passes me by
With the blink of an eye
It just feels, so damn good
Now I see that I love all the things
That you do with each day
And it feels, so damn good
Every second that passes me by
With the blink of an eye
It just feels, so damn good
song performed by by Feeder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sappy
And if you say your prayers
You will make God happy
And if you do whats true
You will make me happy
Ill keep you in a jar
And you will seem happy
Ill give you breathing holes
You will think youre happy, now
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
And if you save yourself
You will make him happy
Hell bring you fine rewards
Then you will feel happy
Ill keep you in my room
Im sure youll be happy
And if you save your soul
You will think youre happy now
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
Early version of sappy.
song performed by by Nirvana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Saturday Mornings
Wake it up it's 7a.m and ya know
get the milk fill the bowl with cereal
get the remote and turn on the television
first channel I see is channel 11
watching my cartoons early in the morning
it might look wack but this is not boring
I mean watching some Yu-Gi-Oh at channel 5
wash my face to feel more alive
take a shower after my show
getting fresh, out the house and off to SoHo.
poem by How Anonymous
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Black & White Television
I looked in the mirror then
Saw my face in a dream.
With eyes sharp as diamonds
Blessed with clear vision.
Things were not as they seemed.
Black and white television
Stared back from the wall.
Is that my life?
Am I here at all?
Down in the high road, see
Motor cavalcades glide
Past shopwindow dressers
Desperately covering
All the parts they can hide.
Black and white television
Stares at me again.
Is that their lives?
Even dummies pretend.
The truth is so hard to deny.
The answer is here.
The screen never lies.
Black and white television.
Its the right television.
Show me its all a dream tonight.
The boys on the corner sulk
In their suzuki haze.
In primary colours
(each year more startling)
But they still fade to grey
On black and white television.
Its sweeping the land.
Is that your life?
Do you understand?
The truth is so hard to deny.
The answer is here.
The screen never lies.
Black and white television.
Back the right television.
Black and white television.
Hard to fight television.
Show me its all a dream tonight.
song performed by by Jethro Tull
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Who is a wife?
Who is a wife?
Who can be a virtuous wife?
Who is a wife?
Who can stand the strife
To be a wife?
There is a woman
And there is a wife
Any one can be a woman
But not any one can be a wife
A wife will stand for her pride
A woman will always want a ride
A wife will say
“we ‘ll have a say”
A woman will say
“I ‘ld have a say”
A wife will say
“WE bought you those”
A woman will say
“Mom bought you those”
A wife would say
“We share the bills”
A woman would say
“I share the bills”
A wife cooks what “we” like
A woman cooks what “I” like.
A wife loves unconditionally
A woman loves conditionally
A wife always stands by…
A woman sometimes stands by…
A wife thinks about “us”
A woman thinks about “me”
A wife supports the plans
A woman plans the supports
A wife keeps the relationship
A woman snubs the relationship
A WIFE IS OPPOSITE OF A WOMAN
Who then is a wife?
Amidst all my strife
I‘ve found a darling wife
You too can, if you also tried.
poem by Jr. J.Lakie Kollie
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Tomorrow is the laundry day
Tomorrow is the laundry day
Though tomorrow’s bright and sunshine strikes
Seduce you to play outside
But duty must be priority
Washing the dirty to be clean again
And your day will feel light
After you do that
Tomorrow is the laundry day
Though tomorrow’s cloudy and can’t stop rainy
Bother you with damp laundry
But duty is duty
Washing the dirty so it won’t be stinky
And your day will be bright
After you do that
Tomorrow is the laundry day
Though your laundry is already loaded
And you don’t want to see or touch
But duty must be completed
Washing the dirty so it ready to be used
And your day will feel more comfortable
After you do that
Tomorrow is the laundry day
Though your heart grumbles “Later”
No, do not listen that lazy one
Duty is to be worked not be grouch
Washing is a fun job if your heart happy
And your day will be victory
After you do that
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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He was doing - Ray was designing the clothes for my mom's show from California. And one of the first appearances I ever made on television was on my mother's show and Ray and Bob did the clothes for that. It has been a long time.
quote by Liza Minnelli
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I like television. I still believe that television is the most powerful form of communication on Earth - I just hate what is being done with it.
quote by Alton Brown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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People get on a show and they fought tooth and nail. Almost 95% of the actors out there want to be on a television series. Then as soon as they get onto one, no, no, I want to be a movie star. This television series stuff, no, no no.
quote by Victoria Pratt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sometimes I Can Hear the Confusion and Sorrow
The television buzzes and pops
and the dishes loom in their piles
while the dog looks up from
her empty water dish,
the laundry is folded in sorted piles
yet to be claimed by the household,
and the internet is on
so nobody calls,
and under the three remaining bulbs
a yellow light is cast,
thrown among crusty plates,
and the papers are spread out
in categorized piles to show
if we can afford to just throw away
the spaghetti hardening in the pot,
while the cat yowls at the doorknob,
but nobody hears
over the sound of things falling apart
while the television drones on
about tornadoes.
poem by Ayn Timmerman
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My father was invited to play on a television show when I was 17 or 18 that was an early equivalent of educational television, a Sunday afternoon kind of variety art show.
quote by John Sebastian
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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