The Skunk In Two Parts
I.
An Animal
With a Whole Lot
Of Funk
Is
The Skunk.
II.
On a Carousel
Or in the Darkness
A Skunk Will Still Smell.
poem by M.L. Squier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
The Smell of a Dog
I love the way a dog smells.
Ever since I was a boy,
I have loved the smell of a dog's paws,
leathery pads, edged with fur,
that absorb the rich, musty fragrances
of where the dog and I have been
in our adventures together.
I love the smell of the top of a dog's head,
where the fur is smoother than at any other
part of the animal
and is usually cleaner, too.
The top-of-the-head smell is fresher than the paw,
more like the smell of a little boy's hair
at the end of a summer's day in the sun.
I don't mind
the faint smell of skunk on a dog,
(but only if it's faint) .
Snuggling down for a nap
with my skunk flavored companion
lying next to me
puts me back in another time,
when the world was new,
waiting to be explored and discovered
by my friends and me and our dogs;
when the little lame balloon man
was simply another reason to wonder.
Funk
When your marrer bone seems 'oller,
And you're glad you ain't no taller,
And you're all a-shakin' like you 'ad the chills;
When your skin creeps like a pullet's,
And you're duckin' all the bullets,
And you're green as gorgonzola round the gills;
When your legs seem made of jelly,
And you're squeamish in the belly,
And you want to turn about and do a bunk:
For Gawd's sake, kid, don't show it!
Don't let your mateys know it --
You're just sufferin' from funk, funk, funk.
Of course there's no denyin'
That it ain't so easy tryin'
To grin and grip your rifle by the butt,
When the 'ole world rips asunder,
And you sees yer pal go under,
As a bunch of shrapnel sprays 'im on the nut;
I admit it's 'ard contrivin'
When you 'ears the shells arrivin',
To discover you're a bloomin' bit o' spunk;
But, my lad, you've got to do it,
And your God will see you through it,
For wot 'E 'ates is funk, funk, funk.
So stand up, son; look gritty,
And just 'um a lively ditty,
And only be afraid to be afraid;
Just 'old yer rifle steady,
And 'ave yer bay'nit ready,
For that's the way good soldier-men is made.
And if you 'as to die,
As it sometimes 'appens, why,
Far better die a 'ero than a skunk;
A-doin' of yer bit,
And so -- to 'ell with it,
There ain't no bloomin' funk, funk, funk.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.
quote by Patrick Murray
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It is sometimes very hard to tell the difference between history and the smell of skunk.
quote by Rebecca West
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No More 'Scha-nookie Dookie' Made
You say you married a skunk.
And I feel more like a monk on a donkey.
All I get to hear is junk.
With lots of lumps on me you dump.
You say you married a skunk.
And I feel more like a monk on a donkey.
No more quick done rabbit humps.
With less hops from a bed that jumped.
I hear our neighbors say,
How I treat you nasty everyday.
That's your way of mutilation.
I hear our neighbors say,
What I do and how I spend my pay.
You've been putting our business in their way.
And you will pay for that one day.
Your humiliation has decayed.
And your wicked stubbornness is sick.
No matter who you get to defend your...
Schanookie dookie that you make.
You say you married a skunk.
And I feel more like a monk on a donkey.
All I get to hear is junk.
With lots of lumps on me you dump.
You say you married a skunk.
And I feel more like a monk on a donkey.
No more quick done rabbit humps.
With less hops from a bed that jumped.
And no more 'scha-nookie dookie' made.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If you see an animal and you can't tell if it's a skunk or a cat, here's a good saying to help 'Black-and-white, stinks all right. Tabby-colored, likes a fella.'
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Catullus
Would that you were alive today, Catullus!
Truth ’tis, there is a filthy skunk amongst us,
A rank musk-idiot, the filthiest skunk,
Of no least sorry use on earth, but only
Fit in fancy to justify the outlay
Of your most horrible vocabulary.
My Muse, all innocent as Eve in Eden,
Would yet wear any skins of old pollution
Rather than celebrate the name detested.
Ev’n now might he rejoice at our attention,
Guess'd he this little ode were aiming at him.
O! were you but alive again, Catullus!
For see, not one among the bards of our time
With their flimsy tackle was out to strike him;
Not those two pretty Laureates of England,
Not Alfred Tennyson nor Alfred Austin.
poem by Robert Seymour Bridges
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It may be that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,' but I should be loath to see a rose on a maiden's breast substituted by a flower, however beautiful and fragrant it might be, that is went by the name of the skunk lily.
quote by Alexander Henry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Always Hate Hippies
You are a hippie
You smell like skunk
I'm your arch-enemy
A middle class punk
Get out
Get a life
Get a job
Everyone's smoking grass
Everyone is an ass
Can't you afford to cut your hair?
Cause Frank and I will cut it off for free
Never trus a hippie
They'll sell you bad drugs
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stop Funk'n With My Head
Muir-Trujillo-Dunn
Hey hey hey somebody's always funk'n with your head
No matter where you go you know you just can't stop people
from funk'n with your head
I was hanging around wasn't making no sound then you
come on down but you say that thing to me
With your runny nose and your out-of-date clothes and you still are
playing with G.I. Joes so stay away from me
Chorus:
So why you fu why you fu fu funk'n why you funk'n with my head
Hey hey hey somebody's always funk'n with my head
No matter where I go I know
I just can't stop people from funk'n with my head
You got your attitude and you're getting crude and you're
thinking you're rude
But you just ain't got she with me
And you ain't got a clue and you smell like pu and you can't even
Walk with your size 20 shoes so step away from me
Chorus
Funk it up
Can't you hear what I just said stop that funk'n with my head
Hey hey hey somebody's always funk'n with my head
No matter where I go I know
I just can't stop people from funk'n with my head
Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey watch the funk'n with my head
Don't matter what you know don't matter what you show doesn't matter
Where you come or where you're gonna go when you're funk'n with my head
Chorus
song performed by by Infectious Grooves
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On A Carousel
The Hollies
On A Carousel
(Allan Clarke, Tony Hicks & Graham Nash)
Single release 1967
Riding along on a carousel,
tryin' to catch up to you
Riding along on a carousel,
will I catch up to you?
Horses chasing
'cause they're racing
So they ain't so far
On a carousel
On a carousel
Nearer and nearer by changing horses,
still so far away
People fighting for their places
just get in my way
Soon you'll leave and then I'll lose you,
still we're going round
On a carousel,
On a carousel
Round and round and round and round and
round and round and round and round with you
Up, down, up, down, up, down, too
As she leaves, she drops the presents
that she won before
Pulling ducks out of the water,
got the highest score
Now's my chance and I must take it,
a case of do-or-die
On a carousel
On a carousel
Round and round and round and round and
round and round and round and round with you
Up, down, up, down, up, down, too
Riding along on a carousel,
trying to catch up to you
Riding along on a carousel,
will I catch up to you?
Now we take our ride together
No more chasing her
On a carousel
On a carousel
On a carousel
{fade out}
On a carousel
On a carousel...
song performed by by Hollies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
quote by Abraham Lincoln
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sometimes when you get in a fight with a skunk, you can't tell who started it.
quote by Lloyd Doggett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You can hardly keep from getting soiled if you fight with a skunk.
Doing The Itch
There was a skunk whose name was Itch—
Itch had a rash that started at a fever pitch.
But the itch was only the beginning of it—
Itch started to get alot of zits…
So Itch decided he didn't know his face—
so he put on a Skunk mask that had more grace.
But Razel puppet liked him for he could tell a lie
she knew she could use him like banana cream pie.
Pie in the sense that the could change forms—
be "Deceptive" which was in Razel's norm.
So "Doing The Itch" was born.
So if you have half a brain—
you will figure out Itch's deceptive games.
Don't worry Itch will make you all the blame.
"Just remember Itch, says Razel-
humans can really play you-
not to worry you are cold and blue! ! "
Written by Suzae Chevalier on September 11,2012
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You're making me feel like a skunk at the garden party.
quote by Kenneth Starr
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The skunk rat can get as fat and plump as he pleases. If his whole hind leg costs one anini, I still will not buy it.
Too bad there's not such a thing as a GOLDEN skunk, because you'd probably be PROUD to be sprayed by one.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Whos Got The Herb?
Whos got the herb
2 for 1, 5 for 4, half ounces
Quarter pounds, lbs and kilos
What are we looking for
Sinsemilla
What are we hoping for
What are we hoping for
Sinsemilla
Whos got the herb is what the young boys ask me
Whos got the herb and then elders tell me
Whos got the herb is what the young girls ask me
Whos got the herb not thee dread-locks
Skunk, bud, indica
Sativa, my reefer, la arriba
Skunk, bud, indica
Sativa, my reefer, la arriba
When we roll a big one
It feels so right
When we smoke it in our bong
It feels so nice
Whos got the herb is what the young boys ask me
Whos got the herb and then the elders tell me
Whos got the herb is what the young girls ask me
Whos get the herb not thee dread-locks
Whos got the herb
Whos got the herb
Whos got the herb
Whos got the herb what Im talkin bout
Cramacaca cayaca die shocka fryaca
From a coppa yes Im tellin you
Cramacaca cayaca die shocka fryaca
From a coppa
What are we looking for
Sinsemilla
What are we hoping for
Sinsemilla
Here we go!
Skunk, bud, indica
Sativa, my reefer, my reefer
Whos got it whos got the herb
Whos got it whos got the herb
311 whoa whos got the herb
311s got the herb and you cant avoid that
And ya do want your hands with a fat blunt sack
Chill with indica and guiness, steer clear of white powder
Kick it you sing it in a space, go out to play it louder
Plague my brain with no cocaine
I dont wanna, I dont wanna go insane
Roll up the bones if you can affix a word to smoke it
Except for youre doomed in the morning if you bake the hills
Oh and I get up to the sun and then I smoke out
Its begining to smell like mota and Im down with no doubt, sing
Plague my brain with no cocaine
I dont wanna, I dont wanna go insane
If you want to harm the
World then you can stop the
Herb and you can use the
Serve and use the warrant.
song performed by by 311
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I were an animal
IF I WERE AN ANIMAL...
If I were an animal I wonder what I’d be,
a roaring proud lion or a busy little bee.
Perhaps I’d be a beautiful mare with a mane thick and wild,
grazing in a field on summer days so mild.
Then I’d have my flirting days in heat when I’m looking for a ride.
Yes that would be neat, strolling through a field with two stallions by my side.
Would I be a donkey belonging to a gypsy selling heather,
making money out of me on Blackpool beach for children’s pleasure,
I’d have nothing to look forward too, up and down all day.
Na, I don’t think I’d like to live my life that way.
I could be a farm animal, like a pig or a chicken,
but then I’d be turned into something finger licking!
Perhaps I’d be a tiger or a chimpanzee,
swinging from tree to tree as happy as can be.
How about an elephant with a long thick trunk,
a fox, a squirrel, or a dirty little skunk.
Why not a bird because I do love to sing.
Not a magpie or a seagull, but a real pretty little thing.
I’d fly to someplace nice that much is true,
but knowing my luck Id get bloody flu!
poem by Sandra Kerin Campbell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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