The Ass Speaker Mutant - Part One
Once upon a time, in far away Germany, a happy couple waits for their childs to born.
All is well. All examinations are normal and, finaly, the great day came.
Herr Karl and his wife, Frau Inga, went to the hospital, but, after the childbirth the hospital was surrounded by a terrible rumor.
The newborn was transferred to a restricted nursery and his parents were not allowed to view it.
Herr Karl was angry with the doctors who did not let him see his son.
- It's not possible that's happening something with my son and you don't tell why.
Frau Inga was smarter.
He pretended to be resigned and went to the nursery where her son.
The doctors were left no choice but to tell all to Karl.
- Herr Karl, your son was born with an anomalous formation in his digestive system. We did not want to do it through this. would be easier to give the child as dead.
Frau Inga, finaly arrived at the nursery and found his son, isolated from everything.
- Tell me just once. What has my son? Said Herr Karl, nervous.
- His son was born with the digestive system reversed his anus is in the face, and his mouth is on the buttocks.
Herr Karl was paralyzed.
Frau Inga took his son in his arms, and noticed the strange mouth. A green and fetid secretion ran down a corner. She noted that it was feces. At that moment the baby started crying and her crying came from the buttocks. Startled, she turned and was horrified to discover that the child's mouth was on the butt.
The nurses prevented her and the baby to fall when she fainted.
poem by Aschelminto Da Silva
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Related quotes
Guten Tag Herr
Guten Tag Herr,
Ist das, was ich sage.
Guten Tag gnädige Frau,
Er sagt, zurück.
Wir halten an,
Zu sprechen.
Wie bist du,
Ich sage.
Gut,
You,
, Fragte er.
Ich bin sehr gut,
Danke,
Ich sage.
Wir entschuldigen uns für ein paar Minuten unterhalten,
Bevor ich sagen,
Haben Sie einen guten Tag, Sir.
Er sagt, Rücken,
Du auch.
Wir gehen unseren eigenen Wege,
Und haben gute Tage.
Wir sterben noch am selben Tag,
Und sind nebeneinander begraben.
Guten Tag Herr,
Ich sage, wenn wir uns treffen.
Guten Tag gnädige Frau,
Er sagt, zurück.
poem by Dragon Crenshaw
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W
While bodies bloated in dark water
floated past news dinghys
W was making mincemeat
of Karl on the ping pong table
Karl complained about W’s catlike moves
“You can’t beat me outright turdblossom”
“I’m on my game “ he said in his faux Texas jibe
Karl knew better than to play right handed
“You two better break this up, it’s lunchtime”
said the fawning wife who winked at Karl
Karl let W's weak slam sink the game
“ Good game tubby” snickered W
Karl thought of the big game in Florida
which he’d rigged for a W win
He felt glowing pride after lunch
like the virtuoso and his prodigy
watching W get in the golf cart
“I’m driving cause' I’m the Prez” drawled W
Karl thought, “If you only knew”.
poem by George Murdock
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Guernika
What a joy is my day what a joy
when Karl Waters sings
lambs of the crying out of dizziness
make an Ascent
and a slant woman flatten a rope on the Globe
what a joy is today at least just today
Karl Waters makes a lift from the corners
and at the madhouse some alms cookies
the crying pushes towards conjectural hands dizzy hands
Guernika! Someday a woman raised a rope
Guernika! Paper! The latest news
Guernika! Karl Waters escapes this on top of the hands
there is a rope over the Globe in black
and a woman comes back from Guernika
what a joy is my day what a joy
poem by Alireza Behnam
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The World Isnt Fair
When karl marx was a boy
He took a hard look around
He saw people were starving all over the place
While others were painting the town
The public spirited boy
Became a public spirited man
So he worked very hard and he read everything
Until he came up with a plan
Therell be no exploitation
Of the worker or his kin
No discrimination cause of the color of your
Skin
No more private property
It would not be allowed
No one could rise too high
No one could sink too low
Or go under completely like some we all know
If marx were living today
Hed be rolling around in his grave
And if I had him here in my mansion on the hill
Id tell him a story twould give his old heart
A chill
Its something that happened to me
Id say, karl I recently stumbled
Into a new family
With two little children in school
Where all little children should be
I went to the orientation
All the young mommies were there
Karl, you never have seen such a glorious sight
As these beautiful women arrayed for the night
Just like countesses, empresses, movie stars and
Queens
And theyd come there with men much like me
Froggish men, unpleasant to see
Were you to kiss one, karl
Nary a prince would there be
Oh karl the world isnt fair
It isnt and never will be
They tried out your plan
It brought misery instead
If youd seen how they worked it
Youd be glad you were dead
Just like Im glad Im living in the land of the
Free
Where the rich just get richer
And the poor you dont ever have to see
It would depress us, karl
Because we care
That the world still isnt fair
song performed by by Randy Newman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Der 13. Psalm.
Herr, wie lang wilt vergessen mein
In meiner grosen note?
Wie lang verpirgst das antlitz dein?
Herr, wie lang sol ich gote
5
(Hie rat!) suechen pey meiner seel?
Wie lang sol mein herz leiden quel?
Mein feint thuet sich erheben.
Schaw und erhor mich, herr und got,
Und mein augen erleuchte,
10
Das ich nit entschlaff in dem dot,
Das sich mein feint guet dewchte,
Das er mein mechtig worden sey,
Und sich mein widersacher frey,
Das ich sey umbgestosen.
15
Herr, ich hoff aber auf dein guet,
Deins hails frewt sich mein herze.
Durch Cristum hastw mich pehuet
Vor ewiclichem schmerze,
Der fuer mich lied den pitern dot;
20
Des wil ich dir lobsingen, got,
Das dw mir hast geholffen.
Anno salutis 1526.
poem by Hans Sachs
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(Undone) Sweater Song
Matt:] Hey bra, how we doin' man?
[Karl:] All right.
[Matt:] It's been a while man, life's so rad!
This band's my favorite man, don't ya love 'em?
[Karl:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Aw man, you want a beer?
[Karl:] All right.
[Matt:] Aw man, this is the best. I'm so glad we're all back together and stuff.
This is great, man.
[Karl:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Hey, did you know about the party after the show?
[Karl:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Aw man, it's gonna be the best, I'm so stoked! Take it easy bra'.
I'm me
Me be
Goddamn
I am
I can
Sing and
Hear me
Know me
If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away
[Mykel:] Hey, what's up?
[Karl:] Not much.
[Mykel:] Did you hear about the party?
[Karl:] Yeah.
[Mykel:] Um, I think I'm gonna go but, um, my friends don't really wanna go. Could I get a ride?
Oh no
It go
It gone
Bye-bye
Who I
I think
I sink
And I die
If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor (lying on the floor)
I've come undone
If you want to destroy my sweater
Hold this thread as I walk away (as I walk away)
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor (lying on the floor)
I've come undone
I don't want to destroy your tank-top
Let's be friends and just walk away
It's good to see you lying there in your Superman skivvies
Lying on the floor (lying on the floor)
I've come undone
song performed by by Weezer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Clothes
Walking back to the office after lunch,
I saw Hans. “Mister Isham, Mister Isham,”
He called out in his hurry, “Herr Wegner needs you.
A woman waiting for a border pass
Took poison, she is dead, and the police
Are there to take the body.” In the hall,
The secretaries stood outside their doors
Silently waiting with Wegner. “Sir,” he said,
“It was her answer on the questionnaire,
A clerk for the Gestapo. So it was.”
Within the outer office, by the row
Of wooden chairs, one lying on its side,
On the discolored brown linoleum floor
Under a GI blanket was the lost
Unmoving shape; uncovered, from a fold,
A dirty foot half out of a dirty shoe,
Once white, heel bent, the sole worn through, the skin
Bruised red and calloused, uncut toenails curved
And veined like an old ivory. No one spoke.
Police stood at attention by a stretcher.
After an empty moment, suddenly
Bent over as if taken by a cramp,
I sobbed out loud and, on my uniform,
Vomited up my lunch—over the tie,
The polished buttons and insignia,
The little strips of color and the green
Eisenhower jacket with its Eagle patch,
The taut pants in a crease, the glistening jump-boots—
Vomiting and still sobbing, like a child
Awakened in the night, and sick. Wegner and Hans
Held me, murmuring, “Ach, dear sir, the war
Is over and not over, such things happen.”
While no one else moved, Frau Schmidt brought a towel
To clean me off before Hans walked me back,
My arm across his shoulders and I retelling
The story of how, near Zell am See, we found,
Hung from a tree in leaf, the final sack
Of bones, in rotted Wehrmacht green. In the house
An SS lord had furnished for his mistress—
Deep sofas, Persian rugs, and velvet drapes—
Frau König took my clothes. In my own room,
Wearing the Gucci robe Bouchard had taken
From a fine house before we got to Ulm,
Instead of lying down to rest, I studied
The book I read for German with Frau Schmidt,
Goethe’s Italian Journey. Through the window,
The Watchman’s upper slopes were shadows, green
And purple with the afternoon, its snows
Melting, its double peaks the victory sign.
poem by Edgar Bowers
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Mundzumundbeatmung
Zeig mir die frau, oh
Gott, wie sie tanzt
Zeig mir die frau
Koerper voll in trance
Wie sie tanzt!
Sie tanzt auf den tischen
Fegt bestecke weg
Greift sich den staerksten
Nimmt auch den buckel mit
Glitzert abends auf der pier
Erloest den jungen
Dann das tier
Und das tier
Brennen, brennen
Will brennen: zuend mich an!
Zeig mir die frau, oh
Gott, wie sie tanzt
Zeig mir die frau
Koerper voll in trance
Wie sie tanzt!
Du hast mich verzaubert
Will in deine seele sehn
Die eine will kommen
Die andre seele will schnell gehn
Frag mich, wer ihr schweigen bricht -
Kannst du ihre sprache nicht
Verstehn?
Verstehn?
Unten am meer
Liegt ein koerper Im sand
Die frau sitzt da
Seinen kopf in der hand
Die haut vibriert, ihr atem macht wund
Sie blaest heiss
Sie blaest stark in den toten mund
Brennen, brennen
Will brennen: zuend mich an
song performed by by Peter Gabriel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For a Distant Friend...
Beauty comes and beauty goes,
Like the Ocean, it ebbs and flows
But the truest beauty can be seen
When mind is sharp and Vision keen.
If you look to your horizon
And your Sight can look beyond
Then truest beauty will you find,
For I can touch you with my mind!
>^.Karl!
poem by Karl Stuart Kline
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Den unge Herr Petersen
Og det var den unge Herr Petersen,
Han bygger sig saa kosteligt et Skib.
Det Skib var udaf det brasiliske Træ;
Men Masten den var ligesaa.
Og han vilde finde det Rosenblod, -
Hvorfor skal han ei kunne gifte sig? -
Han stod i Kahytten, ved Roret hun stod
Med Tøfler og med Sporer paa.
Og det var den unge Herr Petersen,
Hans Ladning den var Rollinger saa smaa;
Det Skib var udaf det brasiliske Træ:
Og Rollingerne ligesaa.
poem by Hans Christian Andersen
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Panzer
Gretchen wept in her easy chair
And called for her husband, Karl,
They'd been together for sixty years,
Though both were worn and frail.
They'd met in the ruins of München, when
The Reich collapsed and fell,
Escaped to live in Australia
From their own idea of hell.
For Karl had served in the Wermacht,
In a Tank Corps at Dieppe,
Had served in the Panzergruppe von Kleist
Had roamed the Russian steppes,
His tank had taken him through Ukraine
They'd taken the plains by force,
But found their pain when the Russians came,
In their huge T-34's.
But that was the world of way back when,
For Karl was old and grey,
He slept a lot in his tidy home,
The nurse came every day,
His wife developed dementia, she'd
Forget where she used to roam,
So she was parted from husband Karl,
Was sent to a Nursing Home!
He walked with the aid of a walking frame,
He couldn't quite get around,
But listened for echoes of Gretchen's voice
In the house that made no sound,
And all he thought was to rescue her,
To bring his girl back home,
But the powers that be said: 'Wait and see! '
She was lost to him - Alone!
He went to visit her, once a week,
They held each other's hand,
She cried so much when he had to leave,
She never could understand,
And he was desolate every time,
He'd cling to her so tight,
That they had to prise his hand away
When they sent him away at night.
The nurses were harsh and businesslike,
To them it was just a job,
With no compassion for patients, they
Would leave all that to God.
Demented souls ran over his feet
With trolleys and walking frames,
When Karl grew angry, they shrugged and said:
'Well - Everyone complains! '
One Sunday, standing outside the doors,
He saw his Tiger Tank,
It growled, and pulled up beside him there
And the diesel fumes, they stank.
He climbed aboard with his comrades there,
And 'Schnell! ' they called, to a man,
Then lumbered straight through the double doors,
The nurses turned and ran!
The Tiger reared and it turned about
Tore carpet up from the floor,
The tracks ran over the matron's feet,
Let out a fearful roar,
The patients cheered as the Iron Cross
Raced past their common room,
And smashed the glass in the office door,
And crushed the sister's urn!
Then Gretchen laughed as he came in sight,
'Here comes my husband, Karl!
He'll break us out of this prison ward,
Can you hear his Tiger snarl? '
He stopped and reached for his Gretchen then
Looked deep in her eyes, and swore:
'I'll not be parted from you again
Though hell should bar the door!
They found them lying together there,
He held her safe in his arms,
They'd gone together where lovers go
Away from the world's alarms.
'He went quite crazy, ' the Matron said,
'He must have been insane! '
For lying outside her shattered door
Was his twisted walking frame!
30 October 2009
poem by David Lewis Paget
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Vietnam was what we had instead of happy childhoods.
quote by Michael Herr
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Guatemala Unanswered
Where bad men go free as good women die.
Crying for justice that's never answered.
Their families mourn and loved ones will cry,
Waiting for justice that's never answered.
Raped, cut, bitten, tortured until they die,
Praying for police that never answer.
Gangs ruling the streets without a worry
About the police who never answer
For relatives who come, all those who cry,
Seeking, but never finding their answers
From police who shrug, roll their eyes and sigh,
The police who should have all the answers,
But then, it’s not their daughters who have died.
So the courageous police run and hide
Karl Stuart Kline
June 10,2008
poem by Karl Stuart Kline
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It is as deadly for a mind to have a system as to have none. Therefore it will have to decide to combine both.
quote by Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Small Glass Of Champagne
You atoned so sweetly, prepared a fun meal,
hamburgers with salad and cheese, ah, Mein
Herr Marquis, you are sweet, dancing around
in the kitchen, serving everyone - everything
placed on the griddle, kids happy, all forgiven
How could I even have doubted that you would
come around - Sean Connery blew up the evil
Fatima Blush - this is a fantastic evening, no
more complaints, a small glass of champagne
to celebrate all these peace offerings
Tomorrow Michelle from Merryhell will send me
a book by Sir Terry Pratchett - life is perfect -
I'm nearing the end of my small-scale irrigation
document, James Bond is blowing up ancient
stone temples, ah, Mein Herr Marquis
We shall have some music - Ah, wie ruhrt mich
dies… [Die Fledermaus]
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Russian Communism is the illegitimate child of Karl Marx and Catherine the Great.
quote by Clement Attlee
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Publication is to thinking as childbirth is to the first kiss.
quote by Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Umukashana Nkumbwa (The Girl I Admire)
Ala alibumbwa,
Umukashana nkumbwa,
Inga apita uyu chikashana,
Umutima ulashana,
Ukumumonafye ninshi pesano
nafika,
Ici ndelanda chishinka.
Nangula inga ayipika,
Ifyakulya mu mupika-
Ndakombelesha nomwinko,
Filyafine nkombelesha
icitemwiko
Ampela.
Ine nankwe mpaka kumpela
Yachalo. Twakumene
ukukumana imitima,
Kulya ukushaba nakalya
ukututuma.
I tell you she is a site to see,
The girl I admire,
When she walks in the street
My heart dances,
Upon seeing her I pay homage,
What I tell you is the truth,
When for me she cooks,
Food in her pot-
I lick everything to the cooking stick,
The same way I lick the love she gives me,
I and her till the end of the world,
We met where hearts meet,
There where they do not shiver
© Wednesday,
October 12,2011.10: 31PM
poem by Isunge Mwangase
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The new Germany has the unquestionable right to hold its tongue between its teeth.
quote by Karl Liebknecht
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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