Risqué Limerick # 2
From the top of Niagara Falls,
far away from the big city malls
jumped a tough-talking bird
soon her screams could be heard
as she banged on those rocks her big balls.
There are women, genetically tough,
fully able to fight and play rough.
Though they may play with dolls
they are fitted with balls,
be advised that they do strut their stuff.
So the one who had jumped from that height
gave the onlooking folks quite a fright.
When the balls started banging
and bouncing and clanging
they felt sorry for her in her plight.
When she landed way down in the wet
it was clear that she'd now won her bet.
But she vowed to enclose
in size large pantyhose
her equipment - (as safety net) .
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Big Balls
Im ever upper class high society
Gods gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say Ive got
The biggest balls of all
Chorus:
Ive got big balls
Ive got big balls
And theyre such big balls
Dirty big balls
And hes got big balls
And shes got big balls
But weve got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says Ive got
Great balls of fire
Chorus
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when theyre held for pleasure
Theyre the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
Its my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Chorus
And Im just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Got You By The Balls
Hey mister businessman
Head of the company
Are you looking for a lady
One who likes to please?
Hey mister businessman
This one likes to tease
With a special service
In french quantities
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
And shes calling all the shots
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Hey mister businessman
High society
She can play the school girl
And spank you all you please
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
She dont go overtime
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
(kiss your balls goodbye)
Hang it left, hang it right,
Got you by the balls
Got your shorts, got your curlies
Got you - by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Yeah, yeah
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golden Balls
Red Chevy truck comes passing by,
with gold balls hanging bouncing
in the sky.
Truck zooms around all cars
without a care.
Golden balls wagging
in the air.
Now I heard of a comedian
talking of these “golden balls”
on stage,
She said “Why is “gold balls” all the rage? ”
Guys real balls are ugly enough,
looking at them hanging outside
a car or a truck
makes you shiver inside,
I think I would rather look at
something else when I drive.'
Written by Christina Sunrise on April 7,2011
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Big Ball's In Cowtown (feat. Asleep At The Wheel)
George Straight & Ricky Skaggs & Asleep At The Wheel
(Big balls in cowtown, yeah.)
(Come on fiddle.. yeah... sure)
Working on the railroad, sleeping on the ground,
Eating saltine crackers, ten cents a pound.(ha)
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
(Ehhhh, come here ma, the hogs done got me).
--- Instrumental ---
(yea...) (mind if I sing one George)
Ill go to cowtown, Ill dance around.
Board up your windows - big balls in town.
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
--- Instrumental ---
Put on your new shoes, put on you gown.
Shake off them sad blues - big balls in town.
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
(Come on Ricky, fiddle now.)
--- Instrumental ---
Everybodys smiling, you cant find a frown. (ha)
Girls are all happy cause big balls in town. (that's right)
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - (yeah...a)
Big balls in town... (Haa...)
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Baby Talk
This is a song about Spike
He is a bad ass guy
Who just happens to be
A really good friend of mine
Everyone I know...yeah
Who knows Spike too
Would agree when
I say the words
That Spike is cool
The problem with
my friend Spike
He has fallen into
a true love with a nice girl
Who has gotta lot of tattoos
He always talks crazy
Whenever she calls
He always talks like a baby
It's obvious now...
She has got him by the balls
She has got him by the balls...
She has got him by the balls
My weird little brother...James
And his ex-girlfriend
They would talk in those
ridiculous voices
We would all be hanging out
getting drunk in
the neighborhood
And they both would make
those ridiculous noises
He would always talk crazy
Whenever she calls
He always talks like a baby
It is obvious now
They have got him by the balls
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown man
(they have got you by the balls)
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown man
(they have got you by the balls)
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown up man
(they have got you by the balls)
You will never see me...
walking that walk
You will never catch me...
talking that babytalk
(you know it's true...
they've got you by the balls)
Which brings me back to Spike
A good guy to have in a fight
Unless he was
With his girlfriend
Obnoxious on Saturday night
You know he couldn't care less
What anyone thinks
He does not give a damn
No, because he has no shame
He looks so happy
Just like everything is fine
He is oblivious to the fact
That he has no spine
He always talks crazy
(you have no shame)
Whenever she calls
(you have no shame)
He talks like a baby
(you have no shame)
It is obvious...
they have got him by the balls
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown man
(they have got him by the balls)
I hate you
when you talk like that
I wish you could act like a
grown man
(they have got him by the balls)
You will never see me...
walking that walk
You will never catch me
....talking that babytalk
(you know it's true...
they've got you by the balls)
I am not going to let it
get to me
They've got you by the balls
song performed by by Everclear
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Life is Enough
I can not care of life itself enough,
But love is in the air, forever there,
Like balls that roll and keep us anywhere,
We love the being of those balls that bluff.
To see this life as primitive is tough,
For those in life have dusk as one affair,
The end of day, the ends of light and air,
Ask fear, ask danger as a risk so rough.
But life exists at dawn when love is dear,
Love keeps us real and clear, offending now,
As that being collects from risk abroad.
Today the weather has the atmosphere,
As if the Sun crawls forward to allow
Us secrets having wit to be so awed.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dynamite Satchel Of Pain
Lets write a song, baby
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Now sit your ass in the chair and I'll tell you my name,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
I hope this song will explain,
Just why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Well I was born in the back of a truck on the fourth of july,
I was raised by a Portuguese ninja who taught me to fly,
A business man pulled over and he asked if I needed a ride,
I had to eat that business man for lunch cos I wanted his tie,
Damn I look good in that tie,
Air born Portuguese ninja eats man for his tie,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain.
song performed by by Wheatus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dynomite Satchel Of Pain
Lets write a song, baby
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Now sit your ass in the chair and I'll tell you my name,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
I hope this song will explain,
Just why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Well I was born in the back of a truck on the fourth of july,
I was raised by a Portuguese ninja who taught me to fly,
A business man pulled over and he asked if I needed a ride,
I had to eat that business man for lunch cos I wanted his tie,
Damn I look good in that tie,
Air born Portuguese ninja eats man for his tie,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain.
song performed by by Wheatus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cheese Balls
Cheese balls!
Sniff them as you lick them,
Cheese balls.
Delicious when you eat them,
Cheese balls.
Salty and their tart.
A snack that's hard to stop!
Cheddar up.
Cheese balls.
Sniff them as you lick them.
Cheese balls.
Delicious when you eat them.
Cheese balls.
Salty and they're tart,
And a snack that's hard to top.
Cheddar up.
Get a big bag and begin to stuff your gutt.
Those, those, those...
Cheese balls.
The cheddar makes them better.
Cheese balls.
They're better when they're cheddar.
Forget about the fedder...
And that gouda gotta go!
You've got to get them cheddar.
It's that cheddar taste that grows.
Cheddar up, cheddar up, cheddar up!
Those cheese balls...
Delicious when you eat them.
Cheese balls.
Sniff them as you lick them.
Cheese balls.
And a snack that's hard to stop!
Salty and they're tart...
Forget about the fedder.
And that gouda gotta go!
Cheese balls!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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All Screwed Up
(young - young)
Get ready
You think your kinda tough
Youre walkin kinda rough
When you want any more
You go fast wo wo wo
Things go tough
And you strut your stuff
And I want your thing
Then youre out of luck
Yes you are
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Take you out to kick some butt
Work you over screw you nuts
And when you cant take no more
Then she push you out that door
And things go hard
Like a dog gone mad
She can pack some punch
Then youre out to lunch, back at one
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Cant tell Im comin
All screwed up, yeah
I said its all screwed up
All screwed up, yeah
Said youre all screwed up
All screwed up
Its all screwed up, yes it is
All screwed up
Its all screwed up
All screwed up
Screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Said you think you got some balls
But youre always out to lunch
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up
Its all screwed up, yes it is
All screwed up
Its all screwed up, yeah
2000, j. albert & son, pty.
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Coke balls
Please, listen everybody
I want to tell you about a candy
That I bought today
And I call this “Coke Balls” and it will make you say
“Wow! This is the best candy that I’ve ever tasted
It taste so good when it’s in my mouth while I’m rolling it around and gets melted”
But be careful when you put it down your throat
Because you might get choke
When your about to eat this coke balls
Don’t swallow it all
You got to put in your mouth
And roll it around wait till it melts out
A little bit, and then you can put it down your throat
Now you won’t get choke, then you’re going to have fun eating my coke
My coke balls, oh my coke balls
You can swallow it all
When is melted a little bit so you won’t get choke
Go have my coke balls, my coke
My coke balls
This is my funny disgusting sexpoem. I'm sorry for the people who's not going to like this but i'm just joking about this. I'm sorry again
poem by Monino Martin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No matter how long you play rock n roll songs might change just as the balls are there, the rock balls. And that's what's important to us.
The Meaning of Sight
These old eye-balls only know what they have seen,
dreams at night, and in the the daytime,
daydreams, so many times,
expectations unfulfilled.
These old eye-balls only know what they have seen,
too many things within a life,
too much left, when more was needed,
and it never was delivered.
These old eye-balls only know what they have seen,
as the epic left the thought of what it means,
upon the thinking and wishing of the hoping,
upon the losses of the winners desperate scenes.
These old eye-balls end up losing light today,
but, at least they sent the messages to thoughts,
and those remain there in the mind,
where almost anyone can find,
the extra - special meaning that they brought.
poem by Barry Van Allen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Desperate Balls
You always tried to be so nice
But always got it wrong
Day by day you played your games with me
But theres no way youll win
But the time has come
Ill start another light
And now Im gonna stand
Stand on my own - Ive always been a man
Kick your desperate balls
Its my command the mighty fall
Kick your desperate balls
Received the blow forever tall
You got desperate balls
Double talk and desperate lies
You failed to see and recognize
So sorry for your puny minds
No salvation for your kind
You tried to take me on
For you Im way too strong
I showed you how to stand
Stand on my own - Ill always be a man
Kick your desperate balls
So watch your back or I might call
Kick your desperate balls
From left or right or from below
You got desperate balls
You call those balls?
Feel the weight of mine!
You tried to take me on
For you Im way too strong
I showed you how to stand
Stand on my own - Ill always be a man
Kick your desperate balls
Its my command the mighty fall
Kick your desperate balls
Received the blow forever tall
Kick your desperate balls
So watch your back or I might call
Kick your desperate balls
From left or right or from below
You got desperate balls
Feel the weight of mine!
song performed by by U. D. O.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Basketball
What Springfield needs most at their ‘Y, ' so they say,
Is good old athletic distraction
For rowdy boys pinned up inside all the day
By weather below satisfaction.
The teacher from Canada, tasked to design
An inside game, fair but not so rough
To him they have given a brutal deadline:
"Just two weeks or be fired! " And that's tough.
He's chosen the softest of big soccer balls
To not hurt the boys when they get hit,
Peach baskets are affixed high up on the walls
Reducing all rough contact unfit
The rules permit only the passing of balls
No dribbling or batting, to be safe.
And running the ball? Not allowed, lest the falls
Cause the limbs of the players to chafe
The peach basket goals, players never should guard
For the game is not just for the tall
But easy and fair to all, not at all hard
This game by John Naismith- ‘Basket Ball'
Be Tough!
Don't pick up any rocks...
To thrown them.
Put them down.
Don't you pick up any rocks,
To try to stop or block...
A madness started.
It is said,
One should turn a cheek...
To keep a peace.
It is said,
An eye for an eye...
Should not be repeated.
If common sense is heeded.
And...
If'n anyone should show up,
Starting stuff...
Quickly kick them in the _ _ _!
And be tough.
And if'n anyone should show up starting stuff,
You kick them in _ _ _!
And be tough.
You don't have to get your feathers shedded,
Be tough!
You don't have to be the one 'upsetted',
Be tough!
You don't have to get your feathers shedded,
Be tough!
You don't have to be the one 'upsetted',
Be tough!
Be tough!
And if'n anyone should show up starting stuff,
You kick them in _ _ _!
And be tough.
It is said,
One should turn a cheek...
To keep a peace.
It is said,
An eye for an eye...
Should not be repeated.
If common sense is heeded.
Don't you pick up any rocks,
To try to stop or block...
A madness started.
Don't pick up any rocks...
To thrown them.
Put them down.
Back on the ground!
You don't have to get your feathers shedded,
Be tough!
You don't have to be the one 'upsetted',
Be tough!
Be tough!
Be tough!
You don't have to get your feathers shedded,
Be tough!
You don't have to be the one 'upsetted',
Be tough!
Be tough!
And if'n anyone should show up starting stuff,
You kick them in _ _ _!
And be tough.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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051310N you learn from person you meet
i'm watching a gentleman from tee
how he swing his golf clubs today
he goes left and right; searching
two landed on lake; three on tree
he could have lost six or more; easy
he is doing good; very courageous
i gave him some of my orphan balls
when he passed me; he's inviting me
i told him ' i have to practice more'
he looks at me; smiled and walk away
unknown to him i've been playing regularly
i hope he won't lost anymore balls today
poem by Manonton Dalan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ball Of Kerrymuir
Four-and-twenty virgins come down from Inverness,
And when the Ball was over, there were four-and-twenty less,
Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all..
There was doin' in the parlor, there was doin' on the stones,
But ya couldn't a hear the music for the wheezin' and the groans,
Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.
The undertaker, he was there, all wrapped up in a shroud,
Swingin' from the chandelier, and peein' on the crowd,
Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.
The village cripple, he was there, ah he could not do much,
So he lined the ladies against the wall, and he did 'em with his crutch,
Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.
Miss Mary McPherson was standin' way up front,
Some posies in her hand, and a carrot in her(unintelligible mumble),
Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.
The Village postman, he was there, but the poor man had the pox,
He could not do the lassies, so he did the letter box,
Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.
The Village Magician, he was there, he gave us all a laugh,
He pulled his foreskin over his head, and he vanished up his ass,
Singin' balls to your partner, your ass against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.
song performed by by Jim Croce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Ball’s Flight
A ball involves the pain of flight,
Falling is always a fact, a bright future.
One calls the suffering for actions,
But no bouncing of weapons happened.
If a ball has bounced due to irritation,
Let the fall be witnessed by some who play.
The sport is proud of a day that delights,
Anybody who is an enemy is too much.
Balloons catch flight, but the bubbles float,
And the balls of big size reduce their size.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hangin Tough
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
(rap:) just get on the floor and do the new kids dance.
Dont worry bout nothing cause it wont take long.
(rap:) were gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, cause you gotta be
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybodys always talkin bout whos on top.
(rap:) dont cross our path cause youre gonna get stomped.
We aint gonna give anybody any slack.
(rap:) and if you try to keep us down were gonna come right back,
And you know were
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Get loose everybody cause were gonna do our thing.
(rap:) cause you know it aint over till the fat lady sings.
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) are you tough enough?
Hangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.
(rap:) were rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just hangin tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin tough.
(repeat & fade)
song performed by by New Kids On The Block
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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