En.Citatepedia^®.ro

Professional Limerick

The Podiatrist Oliver Frist
knew Psychiatrist Frederick Liszt,
when they met at the Pub
in their favourite Club,
the Podiatrist truly got pissed.

Said the one who is known as the Shrink:
This is certainly strange and I think
that a Foot Doctor's nose
would be right on its toes
though it's likely that liquor don't stink.

poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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The Pobble Who Has No Toes

The Pobble who has no toes
Had once as many as we;
When they said "Some day you may lose them all;"
He replied "Fish, fiddle-de-dee!"
And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink
Lavender water tinged with pink,
For she said "The World in general knows
There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!"

The Pobble who has no toes
Swam across the Bristol Channel;
But before he set out he wrapped his nose
In a piece of scarlet flannel.
For his Aunt Jobiska said "No harm
Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;
And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes
Are safe, -- provided he minds his nose!"

The Pobble swam fast and well,
And when boats or ships came near him,
He tinkledy-blinkledy-winkled a bell,
So that all the world could hear him.
And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,
When they saw him nearing the further side -
"He has gone to fish for his Aunt Jobiska's
Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"

But before he touched the shore,
The shore of the Bristol Channel,
A sea-green porpoise carried away
His wrapper of scarlet flannel.
And when he came to observe his feet,
Formerly garnished with toes so neat,
His face at once became forlorn,
On perceiving that all his toes were gone!

And nobody ever knew,
From that dark day to the present,
Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,
In a manner so far from pleasant.
Whether the shrimps, or crawfish grey,
Or crafty Mermaids stole them away -
Nobody knew: and nobody knows
How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!

The Pobble who has no toes
Was placed in a friendly Bark,
And they rowed him back, and carried him up
To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.
And she made him a feast at his earnest wish
Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish, -
And she said "It's a fact the whole world knows,
That Pobbles are happier without their toes!"

poem by Edward Lear
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Pink, Our Shrink, and Love, I Think

The only things I can think
(Besides think)
That rhyme with pink
Are stink
And wink
And blink
And sometimes I think I need this shrink
Because I hate pink
As the things it rhymes with stink
Like facial functions and thoughts I think
Then write down here in maroon ink
And as said by our shrink
The problem with pink
Is that it can't express the love that I think
And wink
To you as I blink
And now dare to write in maroon ink
As between you and me, it's a link
We both hate the color, I think
Because this poem makes us tickled pink
As we wait in the office of our shrink
Who we hate as much as the color pink

poem by Phoenix Rory
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Walk On Water

high class
moolah
bolt ons
fast car
quick fix
freak out
nose bleed
skull cap
pissed off
pissed on
I never seen a smile that looked so sad
'cause you make me feel so good 'cause you're so bad
hey little darlin'
your love is legendary
love's four letters
ain't in my dictionary
'scuse my position
but it ain't missionary
yeah

song performed by by Aerosmith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Real Me

---- --
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I have to tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me doctor?
I went back to my mother
I said, "I'm crazy ma, help me."
She said, "I know how it feels son,
'Cos it runs in the family."
Can you see the real me, mother?
The cracks between the paving stones
Look like rivers of flowing veins.
Strange people who know me
Peeping from behind every window pane.
The girl I used to love
Lives in this yellow house.
Yesterday she passed me by,
She doesn't want to know me now.
Can you see the real me, can you?
I went to the holy man,
Full of lies and hate,
I seemed to scare him a little
So he showed me to the golden gate.
Can you see the real me preacher?
Can you see the real me doctor?
Can you see the real me mother?
Can you see the real me me me me me me
me me me me me

song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When You're Sick

When your sick I swear you still look amazing.
When your sick I know that noodles you r craving.
Ur still happy when your sick and never degrading.
So im gonna doctor you up and work on my painting.

I'll start with your toes, you have the cutest little toes.
Then I'll paint your finger nails. And get some on your nose.
You'll tell me they're good and I'll turn the color of a rose.
And anything you ask of me I'll say "I suppose".

I'll hold you and kiss you who cares if I get sick.
Making you feel better is all that matters and I can do it so quick.
If it would make you feel better I'd let you hit me with a stick.
But only for a bit. Because you hit hard an it'll hurt like sh**

poem by David duckworth
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My mother had to explain that one couldn't compose a Liszt rhapsody because it was a piece of music that Liszt himself had composed.

quote by Sergei Prokofiev
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Little Fat Doctor

He seemed so strange to me, every way--
In manner, and form, and size,
From the boy I knew but yesterday,--
I could hardly believe my eyes!

To hear his name called over there,
My memory thrilled with glee
And leaped to picture him young and fair
In youth, as he used to be.

But looking, only as glad eyes can,
For the boy I knew of yore,
I smiled on a portly little man
I had never seen before!--

Grave as a judge in courtliness--
Professor-like and bland--
A little fat doctor and nothing less,
With his hat in his kimboed hand.

But how we talked old times, and 'chaffed'
Each other with 'Minnie' and 'Jim'---
And how the little fat doctor laughed,
And how I laughed with him!

'And it's pleasant,' I thought, 'though I yearn to see
The face of the youth that was,
To know no boy could smile on me
As the little fat doctor does!'

poem by James Whitcomb Riley
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Fade Into You

I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath thats true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
Youll come apart and youll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with whats not there.
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
A strangers light comes on slowly
A strangers heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then smiles cover your heart
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
I think its strange you never knew

song performed by by Faithless
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Dr X.

I'm getting a little paranoid
At the way you interpret my dreams,
Accusing me of sexy schemes
With all the cunning of a drunk psychiatrist
Who beats his children
'Cos he never gets kissed.

I'm getting rather annoyed -
You tell me not to smoke but to take my pills -
Is this how you get your thrills?
To hell with you and Sigmund Freud
I'm going out to get pissed! !

poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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No... I Can Not Believe It

You've got my nose opened wide.
Wider than the sea,
And...
I can not believe I let you do this to me.

You've got my nose opened wide.
So wide people see.
And...
I can not believe I let you do this to me.

Wherever I go...
I know that this shows.
And...
I can not believe I let you do this to me.

I know it is exposed,
That you opened my nose!
And...
I can not believe I let you do this to me.

I walk on tip-toes,
With my eyes half closed.
And...
I can not believe I let you do this to me.
No...
I can not believe I let you do this to me.

I walk on tip-toes,
With an opened nose.
And...
I can not believe I let you do this to me.
And with my eyes closed too?
No...
I can not believe I let you do this to me.
No...
I can not believe it that you did this to me.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Be Glad Your Nose is on Your Face

Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you'd be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place--
be glad your nose is on your face!

poem by Jack Prelutsky
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Doctor, Doctor

Doctor, theres something wrong with me
My health is not all that it used to be
My heart is out of beat, I got chokers on my feet
My eyesights getting dimmer, I cant see
Doctor thanks for seeing me today, Im glad,
Ive got every sickness there is to be had
I had whooping cough last month
And today Ive got the mumps
And tomorrow Ill catch chicken pox as well.
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go now I can tell
Doctor doctor doctor make me well
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Ive not got long to go I can tell
Those pills I took have no effect at all
Just the other day I had a nasty fall
And I think I broke my jaw when it hit the kitchen floor
And Im shrinking last week I was five foot four
Ive been getting shivers lately, is it flu?
I know the bug is going round, what can I do?
Its about to pick on me, Ive still got the other three
Do you think I caught smallpox Id get flu?
[chorus]
Do you think its time that I made out my will?
Ill leave everything to you to pay my bill
Just how long is there to go
Please tell me I want to know
But on second thoughts dont tell me, Im too ill.

song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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America enjoys the best health care in the world, but the best is no good if folks can't afford it, access it and doctor's can't provide it.

quote by Bill Frist
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He Is Such A Joyful Winner

He is such a joyful winner but he does not like to lose
His favourite team won at the weekend so he went on the booze
He could not go to work today he feels fuzzy in the head
And nursing his hangover he lay at home in bed.

A football mad young person he surely loves the game
To be the Club's best barracker is his great claim to fame
At every goal his team kicks he whoops aloud in joy
The man in his late twenties at heart remains a boy.

His beanie in his Club Football colours to bed he even wear
His Club as important to him as his wife and children his type no longer rare
In the pub with his drinking mates their main topic is football
The great players and the winners and the losers of the weekend games they recall.

His team won at the weekend but he is in bed today
For too much celebrating his price he has to pay
He proudly wears the Club colours of his favourite football team
And every victory that they have good for his self esteem.

poem by Francis Duggan
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You Stink!

'You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
Way off the beat without a syncopation given.'

All I've ever wanted from you,
Was your trust.
Although my honesty shows,
Perhaps I trust too much.

Can't you see,
I'd rather be in sync with you desperately.
But you think I should first prove,
My devotion is complete...
With a soothing approving beat you seek!

'You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
Way off the beat without a syncopation given.'

'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink!
You stink.
You stink.
You stink! '

'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink! '
I know this but I came without a motive.
'You stink!
You stink.
You stink.
You stink! '

Can't you see,
I'd rather be in sync with you desperately.
But you think I should first prove,
My devotion is complete...
With a soothing approving beat you seek!

'You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
You stink!
Don't you know you're out of tune,
And out of rhythm.
Way off the beat without a syncopation given.'

I get the message!
You have preferences.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sand-Between-The-Toes

I went down to the shouting sea,
Taking Christopher down with me,
For Nurse had given us sixpence each-
And down we went to the beach.

We had sand in the eyes and the ears and the nose,
And sand in the hair, and sand-between-the-toes.
Whenever a good nor'wester blows,
Christopher is certain of
Sand-between-the-toes.

The sea was galloping grey and white;
Christopher clutched his sixpence tight;
We clambered over the humping sand-
And Christopher held my hand.

We had sand in the eyes and the ears and the nose,
And sand in the hair, and sand-between-the-toes.
Whenever a good nor'wester blows,
Christopher is certain of
Sand-between-the-toes.

There was a roaring in the sky;
The sea-gulls cried as they blew by;
We tried to talk, but had to shout-
Nobody else was out.

When we got home, we had sand in the hair,
In the eyes and the ears and everywhere;
Whenever a good nor'wester blows,
Christopher is found with
Sand-between-the-toes.

poem by Alan Alexander Milne
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A playwright in a lunatic asylum

The Psychiatrist read the script and said;
'I am your doctor my brothers and sisters.'
'It's a common saying and we too whispered the same line
When we're enrolled to this college.' A colleague interupts.
'But now we're almost cured' Someone muttered.
'What's your religion? ' Doctor inquired a patient
He tells; ' My Dad is a Strong Catholic and mother is a simple Buddhist,
Sister eloped with a Muslim and the youngest brother converted to Hindu.'
'Sorry you need my religion isn't it?
He wants to give me a scholarship to Harvard University it seems.'
My religion is Oxygen.'
'What, A new religion? '
'No doctor the oldest religion since the beginning and once that stopped
All the sages go to hell or Heaven who knows? '

poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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The Real Me

I went back to the doctor
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?
Can you see the real me, doctor?
I went back to my mother
I went back to my mother
I said, Im crazy ma, help me.
I said, Im crazy ma, help me.
She said, i know how it feels son,
She said, I know how it feels son,
cause it runs in the family.
cause it runs in the family.
Can you see the real me, mother?
Can you see the real me, mother?
The cracks between the paving stones
The cracks between the paving stones
Look like rivers of flowing veins.
Look like rivers of flowing veins.
Strange people who know me
Strange people who know me
Peeping from behind every window pane.
Peeping from behind every window pane.
The girl I used to love
The girl I used to love
Lives in this yellow house.
Lives in this yellow house.
Yesterday she passed me by,
Yesterday she passed me by,
She doesnt want to know me now.
She doesnt want to know me now.
Can you see the real me, can you?
Can you see the real me, can you?
I ended up with the preacher,
I ended up with the preacher,
Full of lies and hate,
Full of lies and hate,
I seemed to scare him a little
I seemed to scare him a little
So he showed me to the golden gate.
So he showed me to the golden gate.
Can you see the real me preacher?
Can you see the real me preacher?
Can you see the real me doctor?
Can you see the real me doctor?
Can you see the real me mother?
Can you see the real me mother?
Can you see the real me?
Can you see the real me?

song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dr. Bogenbroom

I have one foot in the graveyard and the other on the bus,
And the passengers do trample each other in the rush.
And the chicken hearted lawman is throwing up his fill
To see the kindly doctor to pass the super pill.
Well, i'm going down, three cheers for doctor bogenbroom.
Well, i'm on my way, three cheers for doctor bogenbroom.
Well i've tried my best to love you all,
All you hypocrites and whores,
With your eyes on each other and the locks upon your doors.
Well you drowned me in the fountain of life and i hated you
For living while i was dying, we were all just passing through.
Well, i'm going down, three cheers for doctor bogenbroom.
Well, i'm on my way, three cheers for doctor bogenbroom.

song performed by by Jethro Tull
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Doctor Wu

Katy tried; I was half-way crucified.
I was on the other side of no tomorrow.
You walked in and my life began again
Just when I'd spent the last piaster I could borrow
All night long we would sing that stupid song
And ev'ry word we sang I knew was true.
Are you with me, Doctor Wu?
Are you really just a shadow of the man that I once knew?
Are you crazy, are you high or just an ordinary guy?
Have you done all you can do?
Are you with me, Doctor?
[solo]
Don't seem right; I've been strung out here all night.
I've been waiting for the taste you said you'd bring to me.
Biscayne Bay, where the Cuban gentleman sleep all day,
I went searching for the song you used to sing to me.
Katy lies; you can see it in her eyes.
But imagine my surprise when I saw you.
Are you with me, Doctor Wu?
Are you really just the shadow of the amn that I once knew?
She is lovely, yes, she's sly, and you're an ordinary guy.
Has she fin'lly got to you?
Can you hear me, Doctor?
Are you with me, Doctor?
[repeat last two lines ad lib and fade]
============================================================================

song performed by by Steely Dan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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