Poem: 'A Simple Note

-11. Feb.2006 -
** This poem is about the seriousness of illness such as depression and the event of suicide. It's about the underlying pain that is left in a suicide note, moreso than simply the words that are written.

A tortured soul,
Saying goodbye to the world it loves no more
A simple girl
No more does this life mean anything to her
It’s death she found she’d much prefer
A heart that forever aches
Just wishing for that sweet escape –
That comes with not seeing the car –
Speeding past
That comes from the stolen breath
That forever sighs –
Emptiness
Some simple words
Simply written full of hurt
Full of pain, agony prolonged
A goodbye, this girl will forevermore be gone –
She left few words
Simply sweet
Pointless words in place of torments she cannot speak…
It’s simply not
A simple note…

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Dear suicide

Dear suicide
Why I ‘am alive?
Suicide suicide
Why is so sad?
A lot of pain in my life
Suicide suicide
My heart is so black
Full of pain and sadness
Suicide suicide
My thoughts were so nice
But now I’m so sad
Suicide suicide
I always cry, don’t hurt me again
I just want to be free and fly
Suicide suicide
I don’t want to cry anymore
All I want is fly in the sky
Suicide suicide
The end is coming for me
The beginning of the end of my life
Suicide suicide
Just let me rest in peace
And never come back
Suicide suicide
Time to go
I say goodbye
Suicide suicide
Thanks for listened to me
I’ll see you in my new life
Suicide suicide
Adios
Ciao
Goodbye.

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The Poem's Truth Is That It Says More Than It Knows

THE POEM’S TRUTH IS THAT IT SAYS MORE THAN IT KNOWS

The poem’s truth is that it says more than it knows
That it goes beyond its own intention
That it means in more than only one way
The poem’s truth is its hidden music
And the melody it plays through and beyond our listening
A poem’s truth answers itself in endless questions and ambiguities
No wonder no one simply reads these simple words
As if they were simply written.

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A simple smile

Everytime you look at me you see nothing but a simple smile


My smile hides all the pain i feel deep inside


My smile is a simple cover up to show people its going to be alright

But when there nobody is around me that smile turns into a frown and my pain comes out


With each day that passes that smile you see changed into so much pain and suffering behind a chamber


As i fall farther into this dark cold world of depression all you see is my simple smile


As i pretend that everything is normal with that simple smile that hides pain so very will


As i cry late at night hopeing nobody can hear my cries


As i simply smile and pretend to be joyfulness and happy my smile hides a deep secret of pain


As i walk by i flashing a smile at everybody as my soul disappear into that cold dark place


As my soul disappears into this dark place of depression and sadness

All my friends and family see a simple smile that lasted forever but only if they knew that deep inside me i was hurting.

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One Day I'll Move On

You left without giving me a reason why.
Couldn't you feel my pain every time
That i would cry.

I was a fool for letting you play with me like a
toy. But i was too in love to just let you walk out and go.

But how can it be that you have already moved on. And what in the world do you mean you found a new girl.

I feel it was just yesterday when you would hold me in your arms. You'd tell me how we belonged together and will never be apart.

Now i find myself in the emptiness of feelings forcing my heart to understand that you no longer want to be with me.

So many nights I've cried myself to sleep along with a thumping. Headache. Shamefully wishing it was me the girl that you'll be undressing.

Now i know how it feels to be numb heart and soul but its taking too much of me to simply stay under control

The pain is too much i just brake down and cry. But i cant fight the feeling its killing me inside.

But the day will come when i no longer cry another tear. And sweet words from my mouth you will never again hear

This love isl still have for you will one day turn to dust. and i dont know how but i will also move on

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Death is Simple, Death is Sweet

Death be simple, death be sweet.
Take her from pain
Take her to freedom
Her breathing became slower
My heart broke deeper.
I will forever miss her
But I know
Death is simple
Death is sweet
It took her
Away from pain
Away from Sadness
Away from this endless chaos we call life
So forever I will know
Death is Simple
Death is Sweet

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There Is No Poem To Begin The Week With

THERE IS NO POEM TO BEGIN THE WEEK WITH

There is no poem to begin the week with
Emptiness is the beginning
I try to think
I try to listen to some internal rhythm
I write words down
My thoughts are simple and self- referential
The green- yellow light is there outside my window
The world is moving
Am I writing a poem or simply writing whatever sentences come into my mind?
I sometimes think poetry never stops being written within me
At other times I believe I am just ambitious and pretentious
Today this is the beginning
These lines these words
A poem to begin the week with?

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Goodbye Girl

All your life you've waited for love to come and stay
Now that I have found you, you must not slip away
I know it's hard believin' the words you've heard before
Darlin' you must trust them for me
Trust them just once more
Cause baby goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again
If you wake up and I'm not there, I won't be long away oh
'Cause the things you do my Goodbye Girl
Will bring me back to you.
I know you've been taken, afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me instead of givin' in
I can wait forever, a-helpin' you to see
I was meant for you, my love and you were meant for me
Remember goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart you still have my heart
So forget your past my Goodbye Girl
Now you're home at last.

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When I Write These Lines

when i write these lines it is as good as
thrown paper, some words are written but
they are meant to be discarded because they have
occupied much of sadness
worn out memories
overused mumblings

they are meant to be crumpled
and thrown away

this one, this one is not meant to be kept
it is written
but meant simply to be deleted

some words are meant to be said
and be forgotten
because of pain and because they do not mean anything anymore.
goodbye lines, goodbye
take your time, there will be a little waiting
until another fool takes you in
another poet in the state of an inevitable
writer's block

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ACT: Goodbye

Girl: Goodbye
I always want to say it in front of you
Goodbye
And there would be no more “I love you”
Goodbye
But why though I really meant to
The pain is still haunting my soul

Guy: Goodbye
You don’t know there’s a mystery inside
Goodbye
You are a fool to quickly decide
Goodbye
When you say something you don’t want to
It will affect you most with regret

Girl: Goodbye means leaving
Guy: Goodbye means nothing
Girl: Goodbye means releasing
Guy: Goodbye means waiting

Girl: And will you forget me after
Guy: Or will I love you forever
Girl: And how if I miss you in the lonely night
Guy: I will torture you to see my face

Girl: It’s over!
Guy: Not yet
Girl: Why are you so stubborn?
Guy: Because you make it complicated
Girl: But there’s no future for us
Guy: There’s always a hope

Girl: Goodbye
I will definitely cry
Goodbye
But the tears are not going to show
Goodbye
I don’t ask to be forgiven
Because I’m the one who put this misery

Guy: Goodbye
You can’t beat me with just that
Goodbye
Don’t judge me because I have the power of
Goodbye
Though I let my beloved go
Someday I’ll bring you to my arm again

Girl: Goodbye means separate
Guy: Goodbye means “I’ll be back”
Girl: Goodbye means finishing
Guy: Goodbye means praying

Girl: And will it make you think
Guy: That you are my precious one
Girl: And when I finally disappear
Guy: That’s the time I realize I’m lost

Girl: Just be a good boy!
Guy: Why should I?
Girl: So I can say farewell
Guy: I won’t let it
Girl: You will be hurt by me
Guy: I’ll hurt more if you leave me

Girl: Goodbye
I will act so rude and cold
Goodbye
You deserved so much better
Goodbye
It’s the easier way to be apart from you
Even it’s full of lie, of lie

Guy: Goodbye
How can I live without you?
Goodbye
I don’t care what other’s said
Goodbye
But you are running away from me
Denying your true feeling

Girl: Goodbye means not anymore
Guy: Goodbye means see you later
Girl: Goodbye means sad ending
Guy: Goodbye means new beginning

Girl: And did I say to you to move on?
Guy: Only you I couldn’t go on
Girl: And someway we have another chance
Guy: I promise that you won’t slip from my fingers

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Poetic Revolution

Poetry has no simple explanation,
no words to describe how words can describe
or the evokation it causes of emotion and thought

It is a subtle magic that really does work
to be believed in for its ebbing power
grander than the simple folk, and understood by them

It has changed over the many years
from wit and wonder and vocabularic delights
to simple jest and outpouring, when communication breaks down

Who do you find a poet, or poetic, or Poe?
Is it the one who delights you, drowns you, or drags you down...
Or simply any fool with words and a pen?

Nothing is left of its grand glory, even these departed words
that might mean a subdued salvation, growing up
Poetry waits for the next revolution...

REVOLUTION!

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Words

Flowery words may tickle the ears; even delight the person who hears.
Flowery words are not what I choose, if you desire to just be amused.
For I am truly not a poet my friend, and poetry is not my ultimate end.
Poetry is simply my chosen venue, this to share God’s Truth with you.

The words of men who went before, these are the words I underscore.
They may not be the poet’s choice, but they echo that important voice,
That one who spoke words of Life, The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Words echoed today for you and I, and this long after our Savior died.

Words of Truth are what I impart, hoping to comfort or change a heart.
Changing souls one heart at a time, for this is Christ’s humble design.
His words are not meant to enthrall, but be a hope and comfort for all.
The words not meant to entertain, but address the issue of sin’s stain.

I will continue to write as I’m moved, for friend I have nothing to prove.
And friend you have nothing to lose, as it is His Truth that you choose.
His words of Truth are tried and true, the words that I share with you.
My friend, the end of each poem, for me, is one page closer to home.

It is simply a poem at the start, but then The Spirit moves in my heart,
And The Spirit’s words fill my pen, with The Savior’s hope for all men.
As I echo all these men of the past, it is a Hope that will eternally last.
When I enter my heavenly abode, a place above I’ll forever call Home.

(Copyright ©03/2006)

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Waiting For The Time That I Have No More To Say

i am simply waiting
for the time when i have nothing anymore
to say and
then i will just sit there
in the corner looking at the sun
that will no longer rise or set,
not
really static,
it simply passes,
as though nothing happens.

and
when i have nothing more to say
it simply means,
goodbye,
i have freed myself
at last,
from the bondage
of speech from
the opression
of words,
from the anxiety
of the syllable,
from the demands
of certain
letters to finally form
a word,
from the
mandate of a blank slate
searching for
its own meaning
in whatever i speak.
and write

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These Three Words

When was the last time
That they heard you say
Mother or father, I love you
And when was the last time
That they heard you say
Daughter or son, I love you
Ones you say you cherish everyday
Can instantly be taken away
Then youd say I know this cant be true
When you never took the time
To simply tell them I love you
When was the last time
That they heard you say
Sister or brother, I love you
And when was the last time
That they heard you say
Darling or best friend, I love you
The one for whom youd give your very life
Could be taken in the twinkling of an eye
Through your tears youd ask why did you go
Knowing youd didnt always show
Just how much you loved them so
These three words
Sweet and simple
These three words
Short and kind
These three words
Always kindles
An aching heart to smile inside
I know a family
Who hasnt a cent to their name
And yet the joy and love they have between them
They always claim
And when ones called from life
The survived mourn the lost
And will never be the same
Yet they rejoice
In knowing they gave them their all
These three words
Sweet and simple
These three words
Short and kind
These three words
Always kindles
(repeat and fade)

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The Poem Was Destroyed By Its Own Words

The poem was destroyed by its own words
And could not be written-

The words were not good enough
The words were not exact enough -

The poem nonetheless wanted to be
It waited in longing for other words-

Other words came
But they were not the poem either-

The poem it appeared
Was never to be -

The poem disappeared
Before it could be written

That poem forever is not
And in its place only these lines

Barely a poem at all.

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Simple Words

Simple words are precious pearls.
When spoken true they mean the world.
They tell me that I'm speacial,
and that you really care.
They really are so meaningful,
a feeling that is rare.
When they come from one as you.
It makes me feel as precious few.
It's something so little have tried to do.
Such simple words with greatness spewed.
In my heart a loving burn.
It means so much for you to share.
The love you hold and have spared.
I always knew you truly cared.
I thank you now for all you do.
These simple words are sweet and smooth.
From my doubts I am romoved.
You told me I'm a speacial dude.
These simple words give my soul such needed food.

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Suicide Season...

Every day is a suicide season for someone
Someone who enjoys pain
Always placing the blade against their skin
Watching themselves bleed..

Why make yourself suffer when life does it for you?
Why harm yourself when other things harm you?
Why commit suicide when you will die later?
Why give up hope when you have friends?

Every day there's someone placing a gun against their head
Ending their life with out reason
Without saying goodbye to the ones they love

People say millions of family loses someone they adore to suicide
Sometimes the world doesn't seem to hear the painful tears the children cries
Hoping someone helps them change their mind before
They think of ending their life

A suicide season gives me such a fright
Imagining a kid hanging himself
A girl stabbing herself in the heart
Just to say goodbye to the pain

Suicide doesn't help the pain fade
Suicide causes more pain and
Lots of confusing that your heart
Won't seem to understand
Suicide is no escape it's just a twisted game

Thousands of children play....

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Home bound

Morning sleep and sweet dreams simply disturbed,
Bed side phone call buzz really perturbed,
Sweet dreams and cool breeze remained illusion,
since wife had left after scuffle with collision,

with all honest intention I had surrendered
Never let anger go up and that is why I wondered?
She was so nice and never questioned
Why did she leave and separation offered?

Had she some ideas or her own reason?
Was she not happy with autumn season?
Did she need care for her only and lovely son?
Why did she attempt to take the poison?

I may not have pardoned her fully
the act on her part was stupid and silly
Why does she not own mistakes wholly?
Why at all to attempt suicide and commit folly?

Life must go on with peace and good rapport
it can’t be run without each other’s support,
Even ships has wait for call of the port,
How can we run and afford such silly sort?

All these thoughts made me little nervous
Never I had made mistakes previous
She may be feeling right in her own way,
But should have waited for my simple say

Days were proving difficult and very painful
it may not be either with her proving gainful,
I was still hopeful of her homeward journey
waiting for call naturally form honey

“Good morning” and simple hello”
Was the wife at end with smile to follow?
Are you coming to pick me up at station?
Hi, why not, where is the hitch and question? ”

These were the words simply uttered
I too expressed surprise and murmured
It was not at all any separation
All happiness and no strained relation

It provided me with new energy and relief
I new nothing would go wrong with belief
Why at all then take extreme course
When she was returning with smile of course


I was overwhelmed with joy
There was nothing left to annoy
I braced self to bring back her back
This was the time to save further crack

I simply rushed in huff,
it was neither joke nor rebuff,
her smile was for home bound,
all happiness and joy I simply found

She waved her hand with smile
I continued happiness for a while
She was willing to walk an extra mile
She had her own ways and style

She embraced me with full joy
I didn’t find any game or decoy,
it was simple return with call,
and God saved me from further fall

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Suicide Kid

As she read the note aloud
Her voice clear and loud
'This is what she wrote
Her suicide note'
There were gasps all through the air
For everyone seemed to care
They said she was so great
But their compliments were too late
Her note read like this
'Nothing in my life is bliss
And no one sees the tears I cry
You will only care once i die
Perfection was only a minor concern
Love is what I yearn
This pain you say you now feel
Is probably not even real
As you sit there and moap or gloat
What you just read was my suicide note'
No words were spoken
No silence broken
No child whined
And no one shined
They were all put down to dirt
To see how much she hurt
This was her master plan
To hurt the common man
To feel the way she did
Little baby suicide kid

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I Am Not Alone In My Poem- Am I?

I AM NOT ALONE IN MY POEM- AM I?

I am not alone in my poem- am I?
You You are with me in my Poem
You are my Poem.
And I? I am simply the mouth the voice the vehicle
Though which the sounds are written and saved.
You You are the Poem
And the All- Praise
And I am the one going away forever.
While You You Stay For Everyone Everywhere
You You the Reader and The Writer of All
And I I the simple sharer disappear.

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In This World Of Infinite Words

IN THIS WORLD OF INFINITE WORDS

In this world of infinite words
So many poems have already been written,
Infinite poems in infinite words-

Therefore any new poem simply seems to cry out its own non- necessity-

Yet in a word in a voice
A whole world can be born and transformed-

A new poem a real poem
Can make us forget all the others
And make all the others live through it-

Yet who in this world of infinite words
Can write this poem?

And when will the next set of strangers names come
To show me that my words are nothing?

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